• Published 22nd Sep 2014
  • 8,258 Views, 290 Comments

The Continuing Adventures of the Most Insane Human to Ever Appear in Magical Horse Land - midashguy



The chaos of the most random living thing continues.

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Back from the Moon

Twilight sat with her friends on a grass covered hill overlooking Ponyville. The night was calm and peaceful as they waited. Tonight was expected to be a spectacular meteor shower and Twilight was glad to enjoy it with her closest friends. After a little while, bits of glitter lit up the sky.

"Look!" Twilight pointed. The glimmering lights increased until they glowed brighter then the stars around them.

"How beautiful." Rarity exclaimed. One light grew brighter still, to the point where it blotted out the full moon itself.

"Uh, Twi...I'm no Astrer-..Asmo...Um." Applejack struggled.

"Astrologist." Twilight Corrected.

"Right. I'm no professional on the subject, but isn't that one getting a bit close?" She pointed out.

"That's... Impossible. They should burn up in the atmosphere." Twilight explained.

"More importantly, Scatter!" Pinkie shouted before action rolling away. The rest of the group suddenly noticed that the object was on a crash course to their exact position. They had mere moments to scream before they all escaped the path of destruction.

Where they were sitting moments before was a small, still smoldering crater.

"Good thing we got out of the way, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm glad no one was hurt." Rarity said.


"Well, I'm glad to be back." A voice called out.


"No..." Futtershy cried. "I know that voice."

"So do I." Applejack responded.

"We all do." Twilight moaned.

"Hi, Billy Mays here with Oxiclean Detergent Ball." The Human said, stepping out of the crater.

"Nooooooo!" Pinkie Cried.

"B-but the Princess said he was sent to the moon." Twilight stammered. "How can he be back!"

"The Meteor Shower." Rarity whispered.

"Funny thing too." The Human explained. "Not a whole lot of soap in that shower, just burning rocks and stuff. It's a good thing Billy Mays sold detergent."

"What?" Rainbow Dash asked, completely confused.

"Shut up and taste the rainbow!" He shouted, throwing handfuls of M&Ms at her.

"Ow! Stop! Why!?" She hollered.

"Ninja Smoke Bomb!" He called out, throwing a sandwich on the floor. The sandwich sat for a moment before exploding, covering the ponies in vanilla pudding. By the time they had wiped the vanilla goodness off their faces, he was gone.

"Where did he go?" Twilight cried.

"There's no telling what he's capable of!" Rarity voiced.

Meanwhile, the entire country of Canada burst into flames.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colgate was the best dentist in Ponyville. One could claim that she might have even been the best dentist in Equestria. She alway enjoyed her work, and that joy showed on her face as she dealt with a particularly bad case of streptococcus mutans.

"Ok...I just have to add the tooth filling and-...Gah!" She reared back as her paitent's teeth turned into candy corn and his face became a pumpkin. He began to dance erratically before morphing into some ape looking thing.

"No one knows the true limit of my power! Muhahahaha!" He cackled before fleeing.

"I-...what?" she sat on the floor, dumbfounded.

Abruptly, six ponies burst into the dentist office. Colgate recognized most of them as ponies from round town, and a few a regulars. Pinkie Pie helped her back up on her hooves.

"Chasing crazy monkey, you saw it." Pinkie stated rather then asked.

"I..um...yes?" Colgate offered.

"Where did it go?" Applejack asked. Colgate gestured a hoof to the door.

"That way." There was a collective sigh among the group and they six ponies trudged out of the office.


"Ok. Plan." Twilight said, opening the door to leave. "Rarity, Fluttershy, come with me and we'll get Spike to contact the other Princesses. Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Pinkie Pie. Can you try and find him and attempt to keep him from doing too much harm?"

"I doubt we can stop him alone, but we'll try." Applejack assured her.

"Ok ponies, let's go go GO!" Pinkie shouted.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Human had managed to play one thousand kazoo's at the same time while juggling flaming swords. Meanwhile Bruce Lee contemplated the meaning of life while Chuck Norris looked on with shame and fear. When Bruce Lee finally realized the meaning of life was not 42, but instead 43, his head exploded into macaroni art. The macaroni art cured world hunger.

"I found him!" Pinkie yelled, pointing a hoof at the multiple kazoo playing human being. "I'm not sure what he's doing, but it must be evil!"

Upon just accusation, he donned a blue cape and began repeatedly punching the ground.

"Why!" Punch "Isn't!" Punch "This!" Punch "Working!" Punch


"What are you trying to do?" Applejack asked.

"Move the ground. Push-ups just weren't effective." He sighed. "One day, I'll get the planet to fall into the sun."

"I...um...." Applejack sputtered, dumbfounded.

Abruptly, the ground began to shake. The ponies struggled to stand, while the human stayed absolutely still.

"I didn't do it!" He shouted.

"What was that?" Twilight asked, shocked. His eyes squinted really tight, really really really tight, till he could barely see.

"That...was something more random then me."

"How could anything be better at it then you?" Pinkie grumbled. "Better then me?"

"Not sure, but Morgan Freeman has cotton candy. This is serious. Seriously serious."

"Can't you stop him?" Applejack muttered. "It's not like it's our job to stop things like you."

"I need help. I can't out random this alone. Pinkie, you in?" He asked, incredibly straight faced. She grinned like a psychopath.


"Let's break all the walls."