• Member Since 4th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen October 11th

There At The Close

I have been all I could be. I think it has been enough.

Salutis et Creaturae

I have a... strange relationship with FiM. Nothing terribly odd or noteworthy, just that the only part of it that ever really clicked with me was the characters. I was never one for basically any other facet of the show. The art, the music, the story even- not to say it was (objectively) bad or anything- they all just failed to grab me in the same capacity that these characters did.

And this was all, oh, a good six-odd years ago. MLP was the first thing I had ever really gotten into in this regard- that regard being actively seeking out fan works to sate my interests. I wanted to see these characters interacting in new and interesting ways, and after a short time I found this website.

Immediately, I was enthralled by one thing in particular: Shipping. I had never considered romantic avenues when thinking on these characters, and seeing as how I held (and still hold) nothing against same-sex relationships, the metaphorical floodgates were open.

I think it took me all of, what, two stories? Yes, two, before I found something that would stick with me a long time coming,


It feels weird to type that out, but really, it made a big impact on me. Already the duo were my favorites out of the cast, due in no small part to their existing relationship, and to see that built upon in ways that just made so much sense- it was rapturous for this fledging author.

I haven’t looked back since. I spent years following Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash though what felt like every plot this website could conceive. Tears were shed, villains were thwarted, feelings were laid bare- the usual. I couldn’t help but find myself so attached to this pair. Honestly, I don’t know why it is they stand out above everything else in my eyes.

But, as all things do, this time came to an end. I was entering a rougher period of life, full of new things both good and bad that wrought my attention away from this website. Compounding that were the facts that I felt I had exhausted my flutterdash library and that my skills as an author were so-so at best (In hindsight, at least. I thought I was hot shit back then). Writer’s block, a lack of satisfaction with what I could write, and nothing new to read all culminated in one simple act:

I just left.

I suppose I felt like I needed to ‘grow up’, move past the technicolor horses and get on to bigger and better things. And, in a way, I have. I got involved with other fandoms, for better and for worse, and got on with life. I made a lot of mistakes, some that still linger to this day, but in the end I guess I got what I wanted.

I grew up.

Then along came 2020.

To make a long, painful story into a shorter one, this year has been awful. Horrid. From January 2nd onwards I’ve been in a state of mind that has honestly scared me at times. I’m lost, a bit afraid, and angry. Really angry. Some bad things have happened to me, and there’s really nothing I can do but tough it out for now. It will get better- so saith my rational mind- but I live in the here and now. I needed something to comfort me, something to bring back the childhood that I found myself missing so desperately.

And on a whim, I came back here.

Things have obviously changed, and I don’t think I’ll ever quite get my ‘golden age’ back- but that doesn’t matter. Coming back and seeing all these stories was like being greeted by some of my oldest and dearest friends. This website has become a haven that allows me to escape into the past, to a time when I was a completely different person.

To that effect, I decided to reboot an account and get back to writing. I owe a lot to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, and I think now is a good a time as any for me to try my hand at a real, honest-to-god, decently written fanfiction. A tribute to some old buddies.

So yeah. Something’s in the works.

Until then, I suppose I’m just here.

Well, that was all terribly introspective.

Anyways- I am There At The Close.

Nice to meet you.