• Member Since 18th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen July 27th


Reality is relative, logic is a lie, and God prefers Thinmints over Tagalongs.


Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 100 )
Jerky #1 · Jan 2nd, 2015 · · ·

get rekt pones

This is why they told me not to do drugs.

Lying bastards.

I- I think I need a moment … God that was beautiful

Instant upvote.


One hot pocket left in stock, hope was low, as was morale, general outlook on life, and self-esteem. In other words: back to the norm. Tossing the box aside, I stood from my spot on the floor, disturbing the wrappers and tossing the microwave across the floor.

average brony's start of the day

Fucking excellent....

My god that brought tears to my eyes.

I must have more...

i hate ponies, utterly hate them.
why am I on this site? because i got ip banned from roblox and have nothing else to do.

i guessing you play MMOs. im guessing you pulledd this story out of yuor ass, crossing your fingers that itll be good.
heres a tip, a lot of cussing, randomness, and carving a big fucking pedestal for a human in equestria "anon" char. is not a good story in my opinion.
im not surprised why these stories get upvoted a lot, since many autists seem to like these kinds of fics where the human fucks up ponies. pretending to be mlg?
not fucking funny.
having fedora tipping neckbeards?
those are fucking cereal box jokes.

not a smile was made by me. im sure you don't care when you have a good up/down vote ratio, but i hope more people will see that this is something you came up with, and rushed.
probably based off yourself, my friend. except less manly. gin is for pussies. scotch is for wannabes.

"fuck that weeaboo shit."

when most weeaboos are bronies? a LARGE portion of bronies watch anime, and is they have the audacity to dress like a pony and litter their walls with ponies, it goes the same for the anime stuff.

go ahead, cuss at me if you want to. it'll phase me as much as a fly slapping me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Would rek again - FaZe

I think that's enough internet for today.

Loved the story, wish this site had more self-centered asshole HiE main characters who wrecked ponies' shit. It's a welcome change from the usual HiE main characters who don't stand up for themselves.

This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid.

One of the best things I have ever read

Drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. Mmmmmkay.

5453491 excuse me, i need to wipe the cheeto dust off my screen - OH MY GOD #rekt

5455061 I'll have to hand it to you, the pictures are pretty funneh

I pity anyone who takes this seriously.

They're missing out on SOOOO much fun.

5455304 animated it muhself, so thanks

I live with luna... And I know how to freak her out
This is genius... I cried

5456375 yeah the children in my basement wont shut the fuck up.


PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Somewhat disappointed.

Bet Twilight and Luna never bothered him again after that.:trollestia:

God damn it.... You've rendered me speechless....
Have all my muffins!

I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it.

After five, I was right good and fucked up


5459249 That seems to be the general consensus. Wait, isn't the term 'general consensus' kinda redundant? 'Consensus' already means 'general agreement' so...

Ah, fuck it. Thanks for enjoying it, though, that's cool.


Okay I have to admit, this was funny.

All I need to say is that Anon is a sick fuck.

...But I sure as hell would love to know how to get those kinds of dreams for m'self.

Also, I agree Anon, Praise Allah! May he lead us to our seventy-two virgins! :pinkiecrazy:

Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

But I can write some rather entertaining (albeit a tad retarded) stuff when I'm tired! (Or drunk)

What are you on? It sounds awesome lol:rainbowlaugh:

I'm seriously rock hard right now.


Fucking ponies.

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