• Member Since 5th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago


I write bad AiE stories. No. Seriously, they're terrible. If you can't laugh at vomit, blood, and exploding testicles, don't read my work. It's safer that way.


Caffeine is one hell of a drug.

Anon knows it, misses it, needs it. He's been without it so long that his body doesn't even know what to do with it anymore, but that won't stop him from ODing on it given the chance. God have mercy on anyone who gets in his way when the rush takes over.

Or anything.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 30 )

I can't help but wonder why most of the Anonymous fics I read have him working at Sweet Apple Acres, with few exceptions.

Huh...apparently with all of that liquid energy within his veins Anon becomes an uncontrollable person. Still a better story then Twilight.

6244681 Its probably because the Apple's are all Earth ponies. With his hands he can do their jobs better. Anon usually isn't a baker or dress designer, he's a regular dude with no applicable pony related skills. The farm works because its mostly unskilled labor.


There's a pun in here somewhere.

6245474 If there was a pun then it would be for you to go back to your disgusting stories that makes my skin crawl, my gut twists and turns to churn out a rainbow yawn and lastly stories that make me want to question my sanity.

The only thing I got from this one is that alcoholism is the superior addiction. Also that Blue Lightning Bolt tore Apple horse's barn down. Again.

"Building up that fruitful relationship..."

Should have called it "Demolition Man".

Still enjoyable enough. Would like to have seen it continued just to see where it would have gone, even though I already have a fairly good idea. Caffeine-fuelled sex.

Made me giggle. Nice work.

I wonder what the withdrawal phase gonna be like, considering he didn't end up in the hospital first that is.


I was worried when I saw it was pencil, but damnit if I didn't laugh my ass off at that. Silly ponies not having a proper source of caffeine.

You should worry less about me. I'm mostly harmless, I swear. :heart:

6255629 bullshit, I read your changeling holes story, I know what depths of depravity you're capable of.

It's why I love you.


Dawwww I could just cut you up into little pieces and make you into a heart-shaped collage, you're so cute. :heart:

6244681 I think it has to do with most of the apples being good as a straight man. They're pretty serious from what I've seen/read/heard.

If he craves caffeine, why doesn't he drink strong tea?

6557525 Tea is for the weak...Coffee is for the STRONG!!!

I think I have found my favorite!

6245474 No! No puns! Flutterpriest is not here...m.popkey.co/f8c6cf/xM9QO.gif

Anyone know how to make a noose? So I can hang myself after stumbling onto another one of this sicko's pieces.


I'll coach ya through it, darlin'. :heart:

Cringe inducing stuff here, love'em, one of the reasons why im a regular at ur page Pencil XD

When he's not working there he's usually either whoring himself out to the mostly-female populous, or he's a massage-person (I know the term but I can't spell it correctly), or he's bumming around at Lyra and Bon Bon's place being a taste-tester for new sweets concoctions, or else giving out pettings or else if he has a job at all it's not given. Usually. I keep waiting to see one where he's a veterinarian primarily for farm critters (like in those small-towns where every other person is either a farmer or a rancher) and as a result gets hired at a hospital due to most of the critters he'd otherwise be working on are intelligent there.

Don't do drugs

6740961 Just noticed your answer. Tea can be made very strong: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chifir' It says 8 teabags per cup is enough to get high — or get a stroke.

Lol that was hilarious! Thank you for this.

Fermented cola eh?

I... need... more... more... chapters...

Not gonna lie Mtn Dew is my caffeine fix I mean, have you read the back of the Kickstart can?



No clue what happened but it was hilarious, nice job! XD

Good read lol :twilightsmile:

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