• Member Since 5th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

anonpencil


I write bad AiE stories. No. Seriously, they're terrible. If you can't laugh at vomit, blood, and exploding testicles, don't read my work. It's safer that way.


T
Source

When you yet again find that pony furniture has failed you, something has to be done. You're tired of being uncomfortable, and of having chairs crumble underneath your weight. You decide to take matters into your own hands, and build yourself something to sit in. Now... how exactly does one build a chair, anyway?


This is a dumb story. It is short, and stupid, and really dumb. It's got a few gross sentences too. Hopefully it'll make you laugh a little anyway.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 28 )

This was the best thing I've read in months.

Absolute, solid gold. I laughed the whole time.

I once built a table.

8433772
Was it... well, a table, when you were done?

8433777
I overbuilt it and it turned into a workbench. If nothing else, at least I'm an engineer.

8433784
If it's effective, then at least you built something not worthless. Huzzah to you for that.

It may be a bright and sunny day in Ponyville, but you couldn’t give a fuck about that. You only have one thing on your mind today:

Fuck. Pony. Furniture.

I read the second paragraph as an order of events, for some reason, like an "eat sleep repeat" thing

It left me a bit confused, I'll say that.

Wooden you know it, more puns!
Incredibly chairatable of you, donating this story to us!
You definitely nailed it with this one.
Good to see you are branching out with your stories.
I gotta axe you a question, though.
How much lacquer did it take to come up with this?
Did this idea just sprout from nowhere or did someone plant the seed for it?
Oakay, I'm off. Laters Beeches.

8433808
I love it! But... uh... how does one furniture?

The sensation of being in this char is god-damn excruciating! Dear god, human bones are not supposed to bend in the middle! You didn’t even know you had a muscle there! And... is that your spine you're staring at? How on earth are you staring at your own spine right now?!

sensation of being in this char is god-damn excruciating! Dear god, human bones are not supposed to bend in the middle!

sensation of being in this char is god-damn excruciating!

sensation of being in this char

being in this char

this char

this char

char
. |----| _ ______
. _________ | | _________| | ______|
.| ___ | | |___ | ______ | | |
.| |____ | __ | | |_____| | | |
.|________| |_ | |_ _| |_______|_| |_ |

It's sad that that text doesn't work.

Sad.

Well, this is what it looked like.

i.imgur.com/r1rCRhc.png

Yeah it just looks terrible huh

Blame the


char


~fin

8433810
...Thaaats what had me confoundled.

Be honest now—how much of this story was inspired by you taking a trip to IKEA?

Mfw the picture of a chair has a source link, but most of my cover images don't.

Mfw no face

I read this story while laying on the floor and I was still more comfortable than Anon was. Another masterpiece, Pencil. It's wonderful to relax to your stories while being a lay-z-boy.


... I am already disappointed in myself for that one.

I'm my, this was funny! I can definitely relate....so of the stuff I've built has turned out like that!
Not a dumb story, Anon. It made me laugh and smile. Thank you!

I was worried there'd be something gross that wood not sit well with me. But now, I think this story deserves a standing ovation. Furniture based fics aren't usually my thing, but this is a pretty rocking chair story.

Video related:

incest and human incompetence in one chapter? hell yeah.

and i imagine this is waht he built

static.dezeen.com/uploads/2015/12/Disposture-chair-by-Jessica-Ross_dezeen_sq.jpg

I want that chair...

8434197 You did so many things there... your humor was quite polished. Still, it seems a bit of a veneer instead of humor which really gets to the grain of the the tale.

So we might want to table the humorous commentary until we have time to properly lampshade the silliness of this little story.

:trollestia:

Funny! But two points off for tired Apple incest joke. :ajbemused:

8434534
Eh, was a mediocre overused joke, I'll definitely give you that.

“Jealous?” she says with a little cough. “Pretty sure I’m just being honest. Like usual.”

“Right, like you were honest with Granny Smith about who knocked you up last year?”

Although the story can't stand too high with it just boiling down to one joke, it still has a few moments that got a laugh out of me, so in short I enjoyed this.

This is a dumb story. It is short, and stupid, and really dumb. It's got a few gross sentences too.

Sometimes the dumb stuff is the best stuff. Never feel bad for what you like, unless it's weird enough to give Lovecraft a fright. Maybe then you should get yourself checked out.

8434893
Believe me, I don't feel bad. Just dumb. Not to fret, I'm used to writing shitposts, they make me happy.

This is funny as fuck.

I'll updoot this shitpost. Wby not.

Probably sanded across the grain. Classic rookie mistake.

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