Anon shaves his head. The ponies think he has cancer. What could possibly happen?

Edited/Proofread by Enigmatic Otaku and Vylon

Narrated by Straight To The Point Studio

A changeling gets a very risky and clever idea.
Pretending to be an advanced magic doll left as an anonymous gift in front of Twilight Sparkle's home.
It's so audaciously stupid there is no way it's not going to work.

I'm Griffin, not much else to it. I've been bullied most of my life, which left me bitter and sarcastic. I'm a closet brony. What? You think I'm just gonna go out and tell a world that hates me that I watch a cartoon intended for little girls? I don't feel like giving the punks at school any more ammo. That's when cosmic powers decide I need to take a trip to my favorite fantasy land. But all is not sunshine and rainbows and it certainly won't be after I'm done with it. Equestria from the point of view of an extremely pissed off teenager, with a twist. Rust, the author of 'The Ballad of Echo the Diamond dog' is awesomesauce enough to have a cross over between our stories. Carnelian is a boss when it comes to art. Part of the 'Chess Game of the Gods'.

Violence, gratuitous swearing, and sexual themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Equestria is still picking up the pieces after the defeat of Tirek, and everypony is helping out with the paperwork, even Rainbow Dash. Things change when Princess Celestia arrives, bringing with her a letter with some very stunning accusations of the exploits of a resident in the town of Oasis. Now, the main six are tasked with finding out if the letter was truth or fiction. Did this Mister Baker really do what they claim? Only one way to find out.

However, Mister Baker is not who, or what they expected.

Rated Teen for occasional language. Additional tags added for more dark themes.

Proof read and edited by the amazing SunnyPack , Snakeskin Ducktape, and Tyrannosaurus Tux.

How would a being like Discord want to be remembered after he's gone? Well, if you're curious, he did actually write a will. To the surprise of nobody, its contents are bizarre and mildly disturbing.

Part of the Borderworld.

Now with audio readings by NDLMongoose and MelancholyIguana.

Warning: Silliness inbound.

By order of the high lords of Terra themselves, a lone soldier from the Death Korps of Krieg has been sent to the planet Epona to wipe out its Xeno population. Starting with Equestria, the Korpsman has sworn not to leave the planet until he falls or completes his mission.

However, no Korpsman should fight without setting up a proper trench first, and so the Korpsman must dig...and dig...and dig.

Destroying Equestria is going to take a while.

Celestia has a dangerous creature held in the deepest of Canterlot's high-security dungeons. It can create ponies (with full backgrounds and histories) with it's strange and often-times prophetic powers. The Princess does her best to keep it under wraps, but its only a matter of time before it's "creativity" will get out of control.

Sometimes, when I look at fanart... things happen.
This was one of them.
I'm sorry.

Shining Armor has everything - the wife, the house, the life. So when he rolls over to find the creature that crashed his wedding and nearly wrecked his chance at happiness snuggled oh-so-sweetly at his side, with his darling Cadance at his other, it's all he can do to keep it together and try to assemble the missing pieces.

It has been one of the closest guarded secrets of Canterlot's royalty. Deep in a specially constructed dungeon, surrounded by warding spells and powerful magic barriers, exists an enigma. Within a cage that could only be described as something out of a nightmare, it waits and watches all of Equestria. A creature that cannot age, is immune to disease, does not thirst nor hunger, and resists all injury. But, it also holds secrets and knowledge that could safeguard the kingdom. Its powers are frightening, but it is civil enough for debate when patience permits.

Princess Celestia has sought counsel with the creature before, enduring it making deal after deal for its services. The Princess walks a fine line when dealing with it, knowing full well anything could give it an advantage despite its imprisonment. She has had to go back on her word in these dealings, and from this a deep animosity between them has been born. It is a necessary evil as she is convinced this is a being capable of untold evil far and above anything Equestria has ever dreamed of. So long as it remains within the confines of its cell, her kingdom is made safe. So much magic has been woven to ensure that, there is little chance of escape.

So long as the magic holds, there is no danger. So long as the cage remains strong, the nameless creature stays enthralled in his cavernous dwelling. If that were to change--if the magic failed--not even the wisest could say. But one thing is assured, it does not bode well for Equestria.

When David volunteered to be part of a cryogenic experiment he thought he'd be at the forefront of human technology, spearheading research and development.

Unfortunately politics doesn't work that way.

Lucky for him, the science was solid... For ten thousand years.

AN: Don't take this seriously. Seriously don't. I don't.

Special thanks to my editor: Thornwing!

A-d-d-ditional Tags: Science Fiction, Parody, Waking Up In the Future, Equestria used to be Earth, Parity Bits, Things That Could Be Considered Irrelevant To The Premise And Is Only Used As Humour, Twi-bright, Kangaroos, Towels and Brawndo.

Rated teen for inappropriate scenarios. Well, lots of inappropriate scenarios. Now with 20% more Dark!

List of Side Stories:

The Story of the Equinos and Celestia
Twilight's Report
A Butterfly Bash
The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Unpublished Stories now available here.

I'll also keep the former list I made here:

The Story of the Gorlians and Equestria
Human Manual I
Equine Manual I
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly II
Blue Pill
David's Nightmares
Robot Manticore Attack
The First Law
Discordant
A Dated Journal Entry
McQuestria
McQuestria II
To Touch The Stars