Dig a trench before the Xenos come
Today would have been a normal day for Equestria, but a soldier from the Death Korps of Krieg had other plans for it. Standing tall with a gas mask and trench coat to cover his flak armor, the Korpsman looked like he was about to invade a toxic waste dump rather than an environmentally friendly paradise.
Armed with his trusty lasgun, the Korpsman made his way to Ponyville, his first target. As he approached the outskirts of the town, he could hear the Xenos, or 'ponies', talking among themselves in the distance.
"It's the freaky alien!" shrieked a pink pony the Korpsman had met earlier.
The pink pony did a gravity defying stunt and remained suspended in the air as she screamed. "Everypony run!"
The ponies working in the fields immediately fled the outskirts and headed straight for the town, surely to seek protection for the remainder of their pitifully short lives.
No time for taking pleasure in the fear he was creating, the Korpsman grasped his lasgun and continued his way forward. The last remnants of the Xenos in the fields were fleeing and heading back to what they hoped was safety. One look at the Korpsman's gas mask was enough to send a pony running in the other direction.
Sent by the High Lords of Terra themselves, the Korpsman was tasked with the objective of destroying Epona's Xeno population as per the usual policy of the Imperium.
The Lords of Terra also remembered to send the Korpsman to Epona alone with no backup, thus significantly lowering his chances of survival, but making him more heroic. It was a plan so genius that the Korpsman dared not to question it.
Rainbow Dash was flying faster than ever to spread the word. "The Alien guy is here! You can all panic now!"
Seizing the opportunity to freak out, everyone in Ponyville immediately lost it. Ponies were locking themselves in their homes and scavenging whatever bits of food they could get their hooves on.
Princess Twilight Sparkle flew to the air to get everyone's attention. She levitated a megaphone with her magic and tried to contain the situation.
"Everypony! Please calm down! I know we have an imminent alien invasion on our hooves from a threat we've never seen before, but we won't be getting anywhere with you all..."
"Um, Twilight." whimpered Fluttershy.
Twilight turned around to see her pegasus friend flying behind her.
"I'm little busy Fluttershy." pointed out Twilight.
Fluttershy formed a sheepish smile. "I know, but I was wondering if we could maybe relocate my animals to somewhere safer? I don't want them to be vaporized. I mean, if that's okay with you"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "It's just one gas masked alien Fluttershy, I'm sure we've faced worse."
"But, you saw how mean he was!" cried Fluttershy.
An hour ago, a mysterious being appeared a few miles away from the town. As usual, Princess Twilight and her friends were sent to investigate.
After a small trek, the ponies found the Korpsman surveying the area. Despite being frightened by his menacing appearance, the ponies were ready to welcome him to the land of friendship and harmony.
However, the Korpsman opened fire with his lasgun before the ponies could say anything, forcing them to flee. Twilight tried to calm the Korpsman down by offering him compassion and comradery, but the Korpsman simply stated that the death of Equestria was the will of his Emperor.
And now, the Korpsman was making his way to town. Twilight had alerted the Princesses, who were readying a guard regiment and were bound to arrive soon.
"Twilight!" yelled Rarity from below. "If we don't calm everypony down, this town will be reduced to rubble! Why, I'm going mad about thinking about his atrocious attire."
Rarity fell on her fainting couch. "That grey trench coat of his is a disaster."
Twilight rolled her eyes in annoyance. The moment after, she heard Applejack's voice calling to her.
"Uh Twilight, that Alien is only a few minutes away from entering Ponyville. I think we've gotta stop him this instant!" reported Applejack.
Twilight nodded. The more she thought of it, the more she wondered why she didn't just use any magic to subdue the Korpsman in the first place. She could have averted the crisis right before it began!
"Applejack, you and the other elements round up everypony you can and take them straight to my castle. I'll deal with the Alien." announced Twilight.
"Sure thing." complied Applejack.
Deciding to scold herself later, Twilight teleported to the Korpsman's location.
Right when the Korpsman was half way through Ponyville's large crop fields, a blinding flash of light appeared before him. Thanks to the protection his gas mask offered however, he was left unfazed.
Out of that light came Twilight Sparkle, the foolish Pony who attempted to offer the Korpsman 'friendship'.
Twilight made her horn apparent and began charging a spell. She was afraid and knew the Korpsman could see it in her eyes, but she wasn't about to let her home fall.
"Look Mr. Alien," gulped Twilight, trying to maintain a furious expression. "I don't know where you came from, but you are NOT going to destroy my home."
For a while, the Korpsman said nothing and merely kept a firm grip on his lasgun. Twilight almost filched when he did begin to speak.
"Maybe I won't destroy you Xeno," whispered the Korpsman. "Maybe I'll fall without murdering one of you, but I will never in a thousand lifetimes associate myself with filth like you."
Right when Twilight was about to unleash a spell to stun the Korpsman, she stopped when he out pulled his....shovel?
The Korpsman held the utility in the sunlight in a glorious fashion, confusing Twilight. In the following second, the Korpsman plunged his shovel to the earth, scooped up some dirt and tossed it aside.
The Korpsman repeated the motion multiple times for a nearly silent minute. Twilight's eyes began to twitch in the middle of the nonsense.
"Um, are you digging?" frowned Twilight.
"Uh-huh." nodded the Korpsman while sinking the shovel into the soil with his foot.
"Are you seriously digging right now?" muttered Twilight. "At this second? When you were just all 'I'm going to kill you Xeno' a minute ago?"
"Yes, yes and yes." answered the Korpsman.
Another silent moment passed with the Korpsman just digging up the ground.
Twilight couldn't exactly help, but care. "What exactly are you digging?"
"A trench." replied the Korpsman as he tossed the dirt behind him.
"Why do you need to dig a trench?" questioned Twilight.
"To fight," bluntly responded the Korpsman with no hint of emotion.
"Seriously?" face hoofed Twilight.
"Seriously," said the Korpsman.
"Why do you need a trench to fight?" asked Twilight.
"I just do," remarked the Korpsman.
A few more minutes passed with the Korpsman just digging. Twilight just knew this had to be some sort of genius trap.
"How long will this trench need to be?" inquired Twilight.
"Long." said the Korpsman, turning his back away from Twilight.
"And you're going to dig all by yourself?" checked Twilight.
"Yup." hummed the Korpsman.
"This has to be a trick." shook Twilight.
She turned to the other side, "I'm going to go somewhere that isn't here." and she teleported away.
While Twilight was only gone for a short moment, the rest of the Elements of Harmony had surprisingly managed to calm the town and round them up near Twilight's new castle.
Everypony was talking amongst themselves, waiting for news and hopefully Twilight's victory.
In the heat of the moment, a familiar light appeared before the ponies and Twilight materialized in front of the Castle.
"Did you get the Alien Twi?" asked Rainbow Dash.
Twilight didn't answer, but rather sprinted in front of the crowd. She picked up a conveniently placed emergency megaphone and got everypony's attention.
"Attention subjects." Twilight's voice silenced the crowd. "It seems that we have run into some unforeseen complication in regards to the Alien, so I'm advising you all to keep calm until we can resolve this situation. Until proven otherwise, he's pretty much harmless at the moment."
The crowd continued to mummer among themselves while Twilight's friends gathered around her.
"What complications could you have possibly run into with that thing?" asked Rarity.
"I'll explain later, but did we get any word on the Princesses and their reinforcements?" asked Twilight.
Rainbow Dash placed a hoof on her chin. "Spike just got a letter saying that they were going to arrive right abouuuuuuut.......now."
On cue, another flash of bright light appeared. This time however, a legion of Solar Stallions clad in golden armor and Lunar Stallions equipped with purple blue armor appeared before the Mane 6.
Each stallion had a fixed stern expression on his face and armed with a variety of weapons, including spears and bows. The stallions ranged from unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies in Celestia's Solar Stallion guard and bat ponies in Luna's Lunar Stallion guard.
In front of the Royal Guards however, were the regal alicorn sisters Celestia and Luna. The Mane 6 noticed that Celestia and Luna weren't wearing their regular royal attire this time, but rather ornate combat armor.
Instinctively, the Elements of Harmony (including Twilight by the force of habit) bowed to their rulers as the two royal sisters approached.
"Rise my little ponies." greeted Celestia.
"We received your letter of distress." told Luna. "What peril befalls us this time?"
Twilight rose her head. "Princesses, I don't know how to explain this, but.."
Pinkie Pie took it from there. "So everything was a nice happy day like always with everypony doing the fun stuff they normally do, but then a weird metal bird thing came from the sky and landed close to Ponyville. Since we were the Elements Of Harmony and pretty much handled everything weird that happened to this world for the last three years, we took it upon ourselves to investigate like we always do. At the landing sight, we found this freaky alien dude with a creepy trench coat and gas mask who looked lost. We tried to be nice and friendly, but NOOOOO. He said we to die for this Emperor guy and started shooting laser thingies at us, so we fled back to safety and contacted you."
Princess Celestia and Luna had glanced at each other with their mouths open.
"We have a one-guy Alien invasion." sighed Rainbow Dash.
"Aliens?" frowned Luna. She looked at the skies. "So I guess there is life in the cosmos after all."
Celestia stepped forward with her eyes squinted. "From what I understood, this being from another world is here to slaughter us all?"
"Pretty much." muttered Applejack.
Celestia's voice was filled with venom. "Has this Alien harmed or murdered anyone?"
"Nope." gulped Fluttershy. "But what's going to stop him?"
Celestia took a breath of relief. "At least there are no casualties. Where is this Alien you all speak of?"
Twilight nervously laughed. "Well you see....."
"Is he digging a hole?" said Luna in disbelief.
"In the middle of his invasion?" added Celestia.
The eight mares were hidden behind a large set of bushes and plants in the crop fields of Ponyville where they could get an easy view of the Korpsman.
The soldier from the Death Korps had some considerable progress on his trench work. The hole had gotten larger, but it was far too small for him to set up the firing position that he deemed necessary.
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's pound his gas masked face to next year!" yelled Rainbow Dash.
Twilight rolled her yes. "Rainbow Dash, I don't think anyone is insane enough to leave themselves so obviously vulnerable in the middle of an invasion. It has to be trap."
"I agree." nodded Luna while watching the Korpsman aimlessly dig. "If this being is from a space faring race, then he probably has a few tricks up his sleeve that we wouldn't be able to predict."
"I wouldn't be surprised if that hideous coat of his has the ability to negate most magical spells." muttered Rarity.
"Do we have to fight him?" squealed Fluttershy. "He isn't really doing anything bad right now."
Applejack nodded her head. "We've taken on threats like Changelings and Sombra before, so I don't really see why this fellow has to be the exception."
"Besides, you did say nothing was going to stop him from killing other ponies later on." reminded Pinkie Pie.
Fluttershy took a step back. "I know, but he looks like a soldier that's convinced killing us is the right thing to do. Couldn't we maybe try convincing him otherwise?"
"Hmm." hummed Luna. "Well, you six have reformed worse such as the avatar of chaos that is Discord and myself as Nightmare Moon. I guess a mortal being fed redundant orders shouldn't be too much of a problem."
Celestia glanced at Twilight. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, would you care to show this otherworldly being the path to friendship and harmony?"
Twilight smirked. "Would I?" Twilight's smirk changed to a frown. "But what if he starts shooting lasers at me?"
Rainbow Dash laughed. "Twi...we've got the Princesses on our side and we've handled worse. I'm sure you'll be fine."
The other ponies were looking at Twilight with encouraging smiles. She herself however, was quite hesitant to be confronting an armed alien.
Applejack bumped Twilight's shoulder. "Come on, we got your back."
Twilight gulped and made her way out the bushes and onto the crop fields where the Korpsman was digging his hole.
After a pause of immense hesitation, Twilight slowly trotted her way to the Korpsman, who acted as if she wasn't even there. Twilight inspected the digging Korpsman for a moment, expecting him to pull out his gun and start shooting any second.
Twilight took a step forward, awaiting some reaction from the Korpsman. The Korpsman however, was still occupied with creating his trench and following proper combat procedures to even care.
Glad to see that she wasn't vaporized. Twilight cleared her throat. Before she spoke, she realized how tall the Korpsman was compared to her. Heck, he even seemed to exceed Celestia's height.
Twilight forced herself to stare at the Korpsman's mask. "So.....lovely day right?"
The Korpsman said nothing and merely continued to dig up the dirt.
"What are you doing?" asked Twilight nervously.
"Digging." muttered the Korpsman.
"Right! Just like last time," fake laughed Twilight. "Do you know what kind of minerals are in that dirt you're digging?"
"No."
"Do you want to know?" offered Twilight.
"Nope."
There was another pause. Twilight looked back at the bushes where she barely saw her friends waving at her for support.
Twilight gave it another shot. "So, what's your name?"
"I don't have a name." answered the Korpsman, his feet sinking deeper into the ground.
Twilight's eyes shot open. "You don't have a name? Then what do people call you?"
"Corporal 42-7." grumbled the Korpsman.
Twilight tried to keep her smile. "That's a lovely designation, but it's a little impersonal. Would you like a name?"
"No."
"Can I call you Lyndon? You look like a Lyndon." offered Twilight.
"No." repeated the Korpsman.
"How about Johnson?" squealed Twilight.
"No."
"Matt Ward?"
"Heresy." scowled the Korpsman.
Twilight shot her head to the side and almost cried, thinking the Korpsman was about to shoot her. Instead, she felt no pain.
The Korpsman himself continued to dig his trench apathetically. Getting a hold of herself, Twilight decided to continue her effort and continue her duty as the Princess Of Friendship.
"So where are you from?" inquired Twilight.
"Krieg." replied the Korpsman.
"Krieg huh?" Twilight's head was filled with wonder about another world. "What's Krieg like?"
"Wastelands." responded the Korpsman without a hint of emotion.
Twilight's mouth dropped. "Wastelands?"
"Yeah."
"That must be horrible!" cried Twilight.
"Meh." responded the Korpsman with indifference.
Twilight extended a hoof. "Look, we can really help your people if you come from such a horrifying place. Trust me, in the name of friendship we can work out an alliance between our two races."
"No." The Korpsman did not take Twilight's hoof, but rather continued digging.
Twilight's ears dropped. "No? But we're offering to help your people!"
"Nope." muttered the Korpsman.
Twilight knitted her eyebrows. "So you would rather kill us all?"
"Yeah." responded the Korpsman.
Twilight shook her head. "I don't understand this. What could possibly justify killing us all? Why do you insist on being enemies?"
"I just do." said the Korpsman without even turning to face Twilight.
Twilight was dumbstruck. "You just do?"
The Korpsman sunk his shovel deeper in the ground. "Uh-huh."
"Says who?" scowled Twilight.
The Korpsman finally scooped up a massive pile of dirt and threw it aside. "High Lords."
"High Lords huh? Let me guess, they want every race that isn't theirs driven to extinction, right?"
"Yup." remarked the Korpsman nonchalantly.
"And what were to happen if you were to disobey these High Lords?" inquired Twilight.
"Heresy." growled the Korpsman.
"So you're religiously inclined to kill us all?" checked Twilight.
"Yeah."
Twilight squinted at the Korpsman. "And there is absolutely no way for you to become our friend or for your race to form an alliance with ours?"
"Correct." nodded the Korpsman while digging.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Okay then."
Twilight silently readied a spell that would stun the Korpsman in order to subdue him. Her horn glowed its usual color and was about to emit a spell only when...
*CRACK*
As if the Korpsman had eyes behind his head, a laser flashed from his laspistol in front of Twilight's eyes followed by a smokey patch on the ground appearing right next to her hoof.
Quickly glancing up, Twilight saw the Korpsman with a shovel in one hand and a laspistol in the other. Still digging with one hand, the Korpsman fired another shot from his laspistol at Twilight.
Fortunately for her, Twilight's lit horn lit up a shield spell to protect her. However, the laspistol's round easily shattered the magical shield, prompting her to fly away quickly before the Korpsman could fire another round.
Flying as fast as she could while laspistol rounds nearly blew her limbs off, Twilight barely reached to the clearing shelter behind the bushes where her friends were waiting.
Exhausted from the quick burst of energy, Twilight smashed through the leaves of the bushes and collapsed on the clearing.
Panting furiously, the tired Twilight struggled to regain control of herself. Still on the floor, she saw the hooves of Pinkie Pie and turned her exhausted face up.
"So, how did it go?" smiled Pinkie Pie.
"Is he going to be our friend?" asked Fluttershy.
Twilight shook her head and got back on her hooves. "Well, let's see. I tried making small talk with him in an effort to steer the conversation towards making friends, but all he was interested was digging a trench. Then, I found out that he comes from some wasteland planet where his government and religion commands him to obliterate all alien life. Seeing the endeavor as pointless, I readied a spell to capture him, but he shot lasers at me."
Everypony's faces sunk.
"I guess that's a no?" checked Applejack.
Twilight lowered her face. "A big no."
Celestia had a worried expression. "My, what kind of place does he come from?"
"To be indoctrinated to think that everyone different from you is your enemy." added Luna in awe and confusion.
Rainbow Dash scowled and pounded her fore hooves together. "Looks like there's only one thing left to do."
"Rainbow Dash!" scolded Rarity. "I'm sure we don't need to resort to his barbarism. Mind you, we've converted more lethal foes than overzealous aliens to the side of harmony and friendship."
"Duh!" replied Rainbow Dash. "I was just gonna suggest we knock him out and disarm him before we set him right."
"I agree." nodded Celestia. "If we are to show him the way to kindness and tolerance, we must make sure he has no way to respond with violence."
Luna levitated a steel blue helmet. "A simple stun spell ought to keep him at bay. Leave it to me."
Luna magically placed the helmet on her head and flapped her wings. With all her might, she burst out of the bushes passed the shelter, determined to subdue the Korpsman.
Applejack let out a snicker. "I honestly feel sorry for.."
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
The next thing everypony knew, Luna came tumbling through the bushes before coming to an abrupt stop in the shelter. She had a horrified expression on her face.
Luna panted heavily. "My, that Alien has good aim." Smelling smoke, she eyed her mane and noticed a gaping burning hole in it.
Celestia squinted her eyes. "Talk about being determined to accomplish a goal," She shook her head. "No matter, I'll see it to myself that he is taken care of. I promise not to hold back when capturing him."
Celestia charged a powerful magical spell, causing her horn to light up violently while her pupils disappeared. Soon, a golden aura appeared all over her body to signify her power.
In a flash, Celestia disappeared as she teleported away.....
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
...and in a blinding light, materialized once more.
Unlike Luna, Celestia's face was of pure confusion, prompting the others to emit a similar expression as well.
Twilight placed a hoof on her chin. "Princess Celestia, are you alright?"
Suddenly, Celestia's armor crumbled off her body and turned into vaporized ash while a trail of smoke appeared from the pile.
Before anyone could say anything, Twilight took a look outside the bushes. Sure enough, the Korpsman was still digging into the ground. There were no signs of struggle where he was digging.
Celestia finally mustered the courage to speak. "Is it just me, or is he getting creepier by the second?"
"Well, if you can't be 'em, join em." shrugged Applejack.
"Join his crusade against us?" spat Rarity.
Applejack shook her head. "No no, it's him who will be joining us."
"I thought that nutjob made it clear that there was no way he'd be giving in." pointed out Rainbow Dash.
"Trust me," insisted Applejack. "I don't care how skilled he is. There is just no way in Equestria that he has the willpower to go through a suicidal mission like this. I reckon he'll see the light pretty soon."
"Applejack's right," agreed Twilight. "He's just an individual. I highly doubt he'll have the determination to go through this operation for another few hours. "
Twenty Four Hours Later
"If you keep digging like that, you're going to end up in Pony China!" yelled Twilight.
"Cool. I'll kill everybody down there too." replied the Korpsman.
"Everypony!" corrected Twilight.
"Whatever."
For a full on day, the Korpsman had continued his operation without stop. As a result, his trench was a considerable distance down and his body fully was submerged in the dirt below ground level.
The ponies of Equestria had full faith that he would give in by nightfall, but the Korpsman kept digging and digging to set up a position for his offensive. Since it was proven that any attempt to confront or capture the Korpsman would result in lasers and flying straight back to shelter, the ponies had no option but to wait for him to break.
The Korpsman meanwhile, was still going to complete his attack properly for the Emperor.
"I really don't get why you have to dig that trench." said Twilight.
"I just do." replied the Korpsman.
"Would you like some help with digging?"
"Heresy."
"Of course." sighed Twilight. She had gotten used to his blunt answers. "I suppose it's part of some sort of combat doctrine?"
"Yeah." he answered.
"A doctrine that involves trenches." checked Twilight.
"Uh-huh." muttered the Korpsman.
"And digging?"
"Uh-huh."
"And in your never ending fanaticism, you have to go through with it, lest you be deemed a heretic?"
"Yup."
Suddenly, the Korpsman put down the shovel. He then quietly walked over to the side of the trench that was facing the bushes where the ponies set up camp.
Twilight raised an eyebrow and noticed the Korpsman moving over to a conveniently placed Multi-Laser turret that she somehow never noticed before. What further got her attention however, was the fact that it was staring straight at the encampment.
And more importantly....pointing at her.
Twilight's pupils shrunk and she quickly took to the skies the moment the Korpsman unleashed all hell from the weapon. Right when the lasers were about to strike her, Twilight activated her magic and teleported just in time.
In a flash, Twilight materialized in the shelter.
Celestia immediately noticed Twilight's worried look and a second burning hole in her mane. "I take it that your latest attempt to confront him ended in aggression?"
Twilight glanced at the new burn mark in her mane before relaying the news. "Guess, who finally completed digging his fortification?"
Pinkie's eyes widened. "The Alien finished his trench? Oh boy! He's been working so hard on that. I better go congratulate him with some cake and balloons!"
"PINKIE WAIT!"
It was too late, for Pinkie had already sped out the encampment pass the bushes.
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
"...."
"Wow, he does not like strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting."
The Elements and Princess turned their heads to the source of the voice and thankfully found Pinkie Pie standing bemusedly behind them. Bless her ability to make no sense.
"Does this mean we can't even place hoof on the fields unless we want our lovely bodies vaporized?" inquired Rarity sarcastically.
Rainbow Dash peaked outside the bushes, with no sign of alien attack. The moment she placed her fore hoof on the grassy field however, a series of laser bolts flew from the entrenchment's direction and burned the patches of foliage surrounding her muzzle.
Rainbow Dash hastily pulled her body back and nearly tripped over.
"Yep," she muttered. "I think walking even the slightest bit to his territory is suicide."
Applejack stomped her hoof. "I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but a bunch our most cherished crops are being grown in the fields where the Alien is. If we don't stop him soon, we're gonna start having some problems.
"Unfortunately for us, he isn't going to go anywhere unless we mount an offensive that is likely going to result in most of us getting vaporized." countered Luna.
"An offensive?" squeaked Fluttershy. "Can't we go for a less lethal solution?"
"I don't think being ethical is his final solution to the pony question Fluttershy." pointed Rarity.
"There won't need to be an offensive," shook Celestia. "All this being is doing is setting up his death wish. He needs to be reasoned that what he is doing is a waste of time that will end in failure and his death."
"But Princess, isn't he fanatically suicidal?" reminded Twilight.
"It's worth a shot. Everyone has a point at which they will give in." sighed Celestia. She lit up her horn and utilized a spell that amplified her voice. When she spoke, her voice had a loud and bitter tone.
"By the order of the Sun and Moon, I, Princess Celestia of Equestria, without any ill intent, advise the Korpsman before us to end all hostilities to Ponykind at once!"
"........no......" replied the Korpsman in the distance.
Celestia's ears dropped. Quickly regaining her demeandor, Celestia continued to voice her warnings.
"Do you not realize that your mission of genocide is utterly nonsensical and suicidal?!"
".......yes......."
Celestia facehoofed. "And yet you insist on continuing with this insanity?!"
"........yeah......"
Celestia shook her head in disgust. "Would you rather not instead seek friendship and solidarity with our kind? For your kind to become an ally of ours?"
"......no, I'm good....."
Celestia gave it one last shot. "Don't you wish to learn of our kind? Of our vast history that could inspire awe and wonder? To learn of our amazing feats of magic and sorcery that your kind can use to its advantage?"
"......heresy....."
"Well, we might as well rally the troops." shrugged Luna.
Celestia looked on over to the guards and saw worry in their otherwise stoic faces. "We've defeated many opponents before without any casualties. I say we don't need to start now and resort to his level of ruthlessness"
"Then what are we supposed to do?" questioned Luna. She then had a realization. "Sister, is it just me or are those laser beams the Alien utilizes utterly similar to the attacks you use in battle?"
Celestia placed a hoof on her chin. "You're right. Those lasers remind me an awful lot of those sun beams I've used."
Twilight nodded. "That's because it is. I've read about various energies and frequencies, and those attacks of his clearly operate on solar power."
"Why do you ask this?" questioned Celestia.
Luna blushed. "Well, I was thinking we could make it permanently night for a while to drain him of energy supply."
The Korpsman, who was exceptionally good at hearing things from a distance, smiled for the first time under his gas mask. Making it night for an extended period of time would certainly help create a global holocaust and complete his mission.
"No no no." shook Celestia. "We aren't going to resort to such extreme measures."
The Korpsman resumed his normal frowning face under his mask once more.
"So now what are we going to do?" asked Applejack.
"As much as it pains me to say it, we're pretty much stuck watching the Alien until he gives in." said Celestia. "Until he finally succumbs to fatigue or grows a hint of empathy, he isn't leaving our watch. We need to be here in case he advances."
"With all due respect Princess, I don't think he intends on advancing." pointed Rarity.
"I'm with Celestia, how long could he possibly hold out in his entrenchment?" chuckled Twilight.
Four days later.
"Is he still there?" groaned Rainbow Dash.
"Yup! He's staying there all right!" called out Pinkie Pie while observing the Korpsman from a distance with binoculars.
The Korpsman had set it up nicely in his trench with all the greatest appliances man could find like an alter, a leather couch, fur carpeting and a bookshelf loaded with sacred Imperial texts.
The Korpsman himself was trying to enjoy a pizza slice, but the gas mask he never took off kept getting in the way. He tried shoving the slice in his mouth once more, but to no avail.
"Pizza must be broken." he hummed before throwing it away.
Back in the shelter, the ponies were getting impatient.
"Hasn't he made one attempt to advance?" cried Luna in disbelief.
"Nope, he's seems pretty insistent that we come to him." replied Twilight. "He invades our planet, and expects us to come to him."
"This stinks." muttered Rainbow Dash. "I haven't been able to fly for days!"
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Sorry dear, but you the moment you take to skies, I'm afraid you're going to end up as laser practice."
"Any word on backup from other countries or other guard regiments?" asked Twilight to Luna.
"I'm afraid global morale is at an all time low with news of a being overpowering two Alicorns being too much for everyone to handle," informed Luna. "Seems no other country wants to do anything with him and we need guards stationed in other areas for protection should we fall."
Rarity face hoofed. "If everyone had the same lack of self preservation as our adversary, the entire world have taken him down ages ago!"
After a small pause, Celestia and Applejack flashed in the room.
Pinkie Pie immediately zapped to them. "So, how's Ponyville doing?"
"They're doing okay, but we're running out of produce." reported Applejack. "Not to mention ponies are still uneasy."
"I'm afraid our confrontation with the Alien has to be now or never if we are to reclaim our crops and free our fellow ponies from fear." relayed Celestia.
Celestia said no more, but her scornful expression spoke for her.
Rarity gulped. "My word, do you mean we're going to really assault him head on?"
"I'm afraid so." remarked Celestia with disdain. "We've exhausted all other options."
"But you'll kill him!" pointed out Pinkie Pie.
"I doubt it will come to that, but I'm sure he wouldn't have it any other way if it does." shook Luna.
Celestia announced the plan. "Since we will be attacking with a full on elite force composed of a hundred veteran guards, the Korpsman will surely be overwhelmed. While he attempts to take down the numerous stallions that will effortlessly breach his position, all magic users will immediately cast whatever spell they can to subdue him. Afterwords, the Korpsman will be locked up in a maximum security prison where he will learn of repentance the hard way."
"What about the guards?" gulped Rainbow Dash.
Luna glanced at her guard formation, each stallion with a firm expression. "It is their duty to protect Equestria and its citizens no matter the cost."
Twilight placed a hoof on her chin. "Surely you two know of some spell to increase their defensive capabilities. You said we could go through this without any casualties."
Celestia and Luna glanced at each other and smirked. The two lit up their horns and a light engulfed the Solar and Lunar stallion guards.
Suddenly, the armor of the guards began to glow and grew throughout their bodies to cover every inch of them. Their new armor looked tough, menacing and durable enough to withstand even the hardiest of attacks. Their muzzles were covered by sinister looking helmets with glowing red eyes that made it appear as if they were eternally scowling.
"That looks marvelous, what did you do?" admired Rarity.
"It's an ancient incantation spell that augments any set of armor into a more powerful state," explained Luna. "We've only used it twice on our worst opponents."
"If its wearer could survive powerful magical bolts, I doubt the Korpsman's weapons will be able to harm our guards." smiled Celestia.
The faces of the royal guards could no longer be seen due to their new helmets, but Celestia knew they were ready and determined. She stepped forward to the stallions to give them a motivating call.
"Today, we face an enemy unlike many other threats that have plagued Equestria before. This being from another world claims that our destruction is the will of his god and that he is his instrument. The Alien knows of neither friendship nor harmony and rejects all attempts to learn of these beautiful gifts. Ultimately, he leaves us no choice. He claims that he will only leave the planet if he falls in battle or until every lifeform on this planet perishes. Needless to say, the latter will not come true."
The Guards said nothing, but many nodded their covered heads in agreement as Celestia spoke.
"I know we have enjoyed protection from his wrath in this clearing behind vast foliage, but the Korpsman isn't going to go over the top anytime soon. He seems insistent that it will be us Equestrians who will come to him to be violently vaporized. I say, why disappoint him? Let us confront this menace and end his nuisance for good!"
Still keeping to their stoic ways, the Guards stood in place and waited for their first order.
Twilight walked up to Celestia. "I can provide some magical backup if you'd like."
"I'm afraid we can't risk putting you or your friends in danger Twilight. We'll need someone to be around to lead our little ponies in case we fall." denied Celestia.
"With all due respect Princess, we have protected Equestria on numerous occasions." spoke up Applejack.
"Yeah! It's our duty to handle every weird thing that wants to destroy ponykind!" added Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash smacked her hooves together. "I say we'll buck him to next Tuesday."
Luna smiled in admiration. "You are all quite brave. Equestria could not have asked for better Elements of Harmony."
"I'm not so sure about this." cringed Fluttershy.
Twilight flapped her wings and lit up her horn. "Relax Fluttershy, we have the greatest guards Equestria has to offer to protect us." She pointed towards the magically power armored stallions. "There is no possible way for him to take out the entire guard."
"I can't believe he took out the entire guard." face hoofed Twilight.
"DOCTOR!!" shrieked a Solar Stallion coughing blood. A nurse immediately rushed to his aid to check on his wounds. The Solar Stallion had burn marks at his chest and his armor was shattered.
After the failed few second assault on the Korpsman, Celestia and Luna immediately teleported their guards and friends over to safety of the encampment behind the bushes.
The entire base was a mess with every guard in some brutalized state with serious injuries. Thanks to healing magic, none of the patients would die, but none would be in the condition to fight for over a month.
"How did this happen?" shrieked Twilight as she watched a Lunar Stallion pass out from his injuries.
"I don't know." squealed Celestia, her face full of shock and her pupils shrunken. "It all happened so fast."
"I mean first there was going over the top, then charging, and then there was screaming and a lot of bodies falling down!" recollected Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash finally found the courage to speak. "But, there were so many of us and just one of him. How could he......?"
"Ruffian fanatic." shook Rarity while glaring at a laser burn mark in her tail.
"At least none of the guard died." pointed Applejack, her stetson nearly vaporized by lasgun fire.
"That's actually a bad sign." countered Luna.
"But how?" whimpered Fluttershy. "You wouldn't rather have them dead, would you?"
"No no!" defended Luna. "I mean, we gave those guards the best protective armor and defensive spells Equestria had to offer. Not to mention that these guards were our best trained stallions."
"If the Korpsman's weapons could breach the strongest of spells, who knows what he could end up doing now that our best defenses are gone?" realized Celestia.
"And to think all he had was just an over sized laser pointer." scowled Pinkie.
"How is our little friend doing anyway?" muttered Rarity.
Pinkie Pie sped up to the bushes and lightly peeked outside with her binoculars.
Sure enough, the Korpsman wasn't bothered at all and was soundly reading an issue of Black Dwarf magazine in the comforts of his trench.
"He's still out there!" called out Pinkie Pie.
Everypony in the shelter groaned in frustration.
"This is pretty much pointless." contemplated Twilight. "He won't leave until all of us are dead and none of us can get near him unless we want our bodies vaporized into nothing."
"I have an idea!" piped up Luna. "It's crazy, but it might just work."
"I'm sure we are all willing to try out anything at this point." let on Celestia.
"Since our little friend seems to enjoy staying inside his trench, how about we teleport him and his precious little encampment all the way to the center of Tartarus where he will remain imprisoned there indefinitely?" suggested Luna.
"You mean keep him locked in there until we can think of a more considerable punishment right?" whispered Fluttershy.
"Um, of course." blushed Luna. "But I'm sure all the horrors in Tartarus would be quite kind to him."
"Any thoughts on how we're going to teleport him away if none of us can step one hoof in direction?" asked Applejack.
There was a long pause until Pinkie Pie and Twilight glanced at each other and smiled. Clearly, they knew what the other was thinking.
"Just leave this plan to the two of us." smirked Twilight.
In his trench, the Korpsman was busy signing off a package that just arrived in the mail. Once that was taken care of, he unsheathed his knife and cut the box open.
To his joy, out of the cardboard box was an all new heavy bolter that was just begging to be mounted on the tip of his trench next to his multilaser turret. Now all he needed to do was find the instructions.
"Hey mister!"
The Korpsman spun around and found Pinkie Pie waving at him from the top of his trench. He really wondered if she was part daemon given her reality defying stunts.
Nevertheless, the Korpsman quickly pulled out his laspistol and aimed straight up at Pinkie Pie's smiling face. Before he could pull the trigger however, he heard Twilight Sparkle's voice yelling at him.
"And away you go!" yelled Twilight as she cast the teleportation spell that shot out of her horn and struck the Korpsman.
The purple beam from Twilight's horn engulfed the Korpsman and his entire trench like Twilight intended. In an instant, the Korpsman and his gaping trench vanished from sight, leaving only a restored ground with green grass as if the Earth had never been touched.
"We did it Twilight!" squealed Pinkie Pie a few meters away from Twilight.
Back in the shelter behind the bushes, the Ponies stationed there took note of the lack of laser fire. Taking a peak outside, the Princesses and the rest of the Elements of Harmony witnessed Twilight and Pinkie Pie smiling widely with not a trench or gas masked human in sight.
"My word, they've done it!" squealed Rarity.
"I hope the Alien will be safe in Tartarus." admitted Fluttershy.
The Princesses and Elements of Harmony made their way back to Twilight's castle. Their victory may have been costly in terms of damage and number injured, but it was a victory nonetheless.
"Thank goodness for Pinkie Pie's ability to defy the laws of nature." sighed Luna in relief.
"And Twilight's fancy magic." added Applejack.
"Good thing we finally got that jerk out of the way." said Rainbow Dash in relief.
"Still," hummed Celestia, almost stopping in her tracks. "I can only wonder what kind of world that Alien came from. To be utterly obsessed with with the killing and destruction of those different from him isn't a trait one picks up naturally."
"We did try talking to him Princess, but I think he was beyond even a blast from the Elements of Harmony." pointed Twilight. She looked down at the ground. "Still, I wish he could have seen the light."
The ponies silently trotted over to Twilight's castle, wondering what was to come next while trying not to think of the Korpsman that was going to be haunting their thoughts for a while.
"So uh, what are we going to do now?" asked Applejack.
Before anypony could suggest anything, the Elements of Harmony and Princesses noticed a huge stampede of Ponies flocking and galloping over to the other side.
"EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!" yelled a mare in pure terror from the crowd.
"What in Equestria?" gulped Rarity.
"Everypony look!" gasped Pinkie Pie.
To everyone's horror, the side of Ponyville that neared Twilight's Castle was decimated. Buildings had been torn and rubble was everywhere. Luckily, no dead bodies or blood was seen in the vicinity.
Luna was twitching. "But, but...what could have caused all this?"
"Please don't tell me..." whined Rarity.
Sure enough, the path to Twilight's Castle was cut off by a GIANT trench in the ground that seemed to go on forever in the far away distance. At the front of the trench was the Korpsman, reloading his mounted heavy bolter.
Fluttershy's pupils shrunk "But but but but....."
"How did you get out of Tartarus!" yelled Celestia like she had never before while hastily making her way to the Korpsman's dig site.
"Dug my way out." muttered the Korpsman while maintaining his heavy bolter.
"How can you dig your way out of Tartarus?" face hoofed Applejack.
Rainbow Dash almost ripped out her hair. "But what about all the freaky creatures down there?"
"Dug a trench. Shot them all to death." sighed the Korpsman while putting in the final rounds in his weapon.
Everypony within the vicinity groaned and cried in frustration.
Celestia had enough. She readied a spell to finish off the Korpsman once and for all, but before Celestia could unleash her might, the Korpsman manned his heavy bolter and fired a barrage of miniature rockets at her.
Luckily, Celestia managed to divert her magic to a teleportation spell in the nick of time and transported her and her friends away to safety while the heavy bolter rounds destroyed the buildings and trees behind them.
In the throne room of Twilight's castle, the Elements of harmony and Princesses materialized.
Twilight was quick to recover. "That is it! There is no way in Equestria to defeat this maniac."
"Never before have I seen someone so fanatical to go out of their way to complete their mission." shook Rarity.
"Since everything we throw at him is gonna backfire somehow, I guess we're goners." shrugged Applejack.
Luna placed a hoof on her chin. "I don't think so."
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Got another plan?"
"Yes." nodded Luna. "Since teleporting the Korpsman did not work at all, how about we teleport ourselves?"
Fluttershy didn't like the sound of that. "Are you suggesting that we-"
"TELEPORT ALL OF EQUESTRIA FIVE MILES DOWN THE ROAD!" announced Luna with a confident smile.
"..."
"Oh! That's a great plan!" complimented Pinkie Pie.
Celestia thought about it for a moment. "That idea might be crazy enough.....TO WORK!"
All the ponies sans Applejack nodded their heads and whispered in agreement.
"Uh guys? What if he follows us again?" pointed out Applejack. "He seems to be quite the digger."
"Simple." replied Twilight. "We teleport Equestria further."
"And what if he follows us AGAIN by digging an even bigger trench?" countered Applejack.
"Come on Applejack." insisted Twilight. "There's no way he has the willpower to follow everypony around the world just to kill us all. I mean, what is he going to do, dig the planet to death?"
"And that's how the world was dug to death and why everyone had to evacuate!" concluded Pinkie Pie while roasting marshmallows on a campfire.
Pinkie Pie took a bite out of her treat. "So, are we going to share this planet?"
"Wut?" frowned an Ork while warming his green hands on the fire. "No way! Dat story was stoopid, even fer an Ork lak me!"
"Yea!" yelled another Ork while roasting smores. "We boyz ain't gonna share our wurld with lyin kandy horsies!"
"Lying!" yelled Pinkie Pie. "Then how do you explain this giant trench around us?"
The ground around the trio had been nearly reduced to a canyon with the exception of the small spot they were sitting on.
In the depths of the giant man made canyon, the Korpsman was digging away to set up his firing position.
"A Korpsman's gotta do what a Korpsman's gotta do....for the Emperor." he muttered.
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4886913
is right when you read it all.
Alright this got in. Hopefully people like it. Going over final edits.
EDIT: Thank god for live readers. Got a bunch of mistakes cleared.
This is oddly great.
rofl. oh god im dying of laughter!
4887095
Glad you liked it.
I love it!!!!!
Just... all of my fucking yes.
.....
THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!
....
Yay Death Korps!
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Best regiment eh?
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yes..yes i did
This was fucking glorious.
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Lot's of love.
4887155 Sorry about what happened with Skype, earlier. My laptop crashed and I'm running scans on it right now to find out why a brand new laptop is being shit. Hopefully I can find the problem and fix it, otherwise...yeah...stuff. Otherwise, what I have read of it so far is great, though I wish that, thing, didn't happen. I was enjoying reading it aloud, and I know you were too. BACK TO READING!!
I liked it.
Dat ending.
Oh god, why can't I stop laughing
THE CODEX APROVES THIS!
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Thanks.
Even if I am Conglomerate,
Lol for Terran
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4887413 There! Finished it! I really wish that my laptop didn't poot, because there were a few more errors. Also, I love this guy!! Got a name for him? Cuz I think he's the new HAS mascot! Well, second only to the God-Emperor. May his Aeternal Will be done!
4887470
Corporal 42-7 is his designation.
Best story, indeed, on this entire site.
4887490 Ah, right. I forgot that bit. Also, Featured Box for you!
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4887347 Don't worry, we got Tux to replace you.
4887522 Oh, good. I was worried you wouldn't get an awesome voice-overer to read for ya.
Yes, I can play that game too. Also, I'm pretty sure Tux wasn't on today.
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Korpsman in a nutshell:
4887600 And also Featured Box. Plus your first downvote! YAY!
4887606
Twas a heretic.
4887607 GREY!! We need your fire! Somebody go get Grey, he needs to burn things.
I'm suddenly very interested on what a korpsman is
4887413
Kreig Korpsmen are Kool.
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Yes, they are interesting.
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Fuggen faved
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Sorry, this trench's taken: 4887502
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And now, to become a heretic.
This so far has been the ONLY time I could ever enjoy ANYTHING derived of Warhammer. Really. Call me a heretic xeno but I just cannot stand that setting. Except for orks. They's alright.
Wow, I did not expect my fic to recieve this much attention. Sweet.
He dug his way out of Tartarus. This is the best thing I've read all day. Freaking beautiful. Just beautiful.
Is.... is the title a reference to "Dig a Tunnel" from Lion King 1 1/2?
4887980 Yup.
Did someone say die for the emperor?
Gotta love the Death Korps.
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All Hail the Void Dragon!
*BLAM!* HERESY!
EVERYONE STAND BACK! THIS FIC HAS MADE ME THINK!
Ya know, now that I think about it, korpsmen do tend to have certain attachments to their shovels and picks...I wonder what would happen if you gave a korpsman a rocket launcher and told him to attack a demon on the other side of a chasm with his shovel...
Hmmm, clade Vindicare approves. Good work guardsman.
This story... it pleases me
This is one of the better funny stories I've seen in a while!
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I believe this captures the feeling of everyone who reads this.