• Member Since 11th Jul, 2014


Just a nice, polite Canadian.

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Total Words: 788,534
Estimated Reading: 2 days



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Teleportation. It is the best possible way to travel... As long as you don't think about it too much. As long as you don't ask where Twilight goes in that split second when she's neither here nor there.

The sound I listened to as I wrote it, available to you in order to give you the option of having the same atmosphere.

No relation to the other story with the same name, just a coincidence of both picking the same excellent title. I was unaware that the other one existed.
Dramatic Reading by Charles Spratt | Second Reading by TheDizzyDan | Third Reading by Crafty Arts
Russian Translation 1 (by Aloz) | Russian Translation 2 (by Doof Ex Machina)

Chapters (1)

The cultists thought they couldn't go wrong with a resurrection of King Sombra. They'd get a cool ruler, rad hallucinations, and he'd probably chain them up and whip them! It was the perfect plan...

Until the police showed up, hit the Dark Lord of Crystals with a paralysis spell, and dragged him off to court.

"All rise, Princess Celestia presiding..."

Inspired by the utter hilarity of naturalbornderpy's 101 Interesting Facts About Draconequi.

Chapters (5)

Everyone's favorite musical pairing is back in another fanfic! Octavia and Vinyl are now room-mates, and are like any other couple...but how will they react when they discover there's another about to show up?

Chapters (69)

A secret unknown to any hornless pony, unicorn horns are made of candy. Pinkie Pie found out, and now she wants to try every flavor!

Warning: contains awkward moments and far too much non-consensual horn licking. Proceed at the risk of your horn and your dignity.

Available in Chinese, courtesy of Hell Organist.
Available in Russian, courtesy of boatOV.
Audio Reading by CaptainBron3y.
Second Audio Reading by Kanjigirl.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

Based on this story:
Pegasus Wings Are Made Of Ice Cream
The Taste Of Madness
Lyra's Candy Shoppe
Candy Is Made Of Unicorn Horns
How Many Licks?
To Prevent Horn Decay
Unicorn Horns Are Made of Heroin
Over His Dead Body
A Luscious Loophole
Dr. Doofenshirtz's Sweet Revenge
That Thing We Do
Unicorn Horns are...
Unicorn Horns Are Loaded With Calories
Charlie The Unicorn's Horn Is Made Of Candy

Chapters (1)

She's been assured by her sister a thousand times that they are equals, so where the hay is her throne?

Chapters (2)

This story is a sequel to Daughter of Discord

The long-awaited sequel to "Bride of Discord" and "Daughter of Discord."

Now that Prince Mothball has gotten used to living with the Discord family, he thinks he is ready to take the next step with Screwball. However, their plans are put on hold when the changelings return and want Mothball to be their king.

Cover Image by Inkheart7

Chapters (19)

Mix a New Years party with plenty of booze and a night so great you'll never remember it, and what you might just get is an unexpected surprise sharing your bed when you wake up.

Awesome cover art found here.

Chapters (2)

Discord's the only creature in Equestria who can recognize the human for what he is -- not the long-lost Seventh Element that never actually existed and couldn't have existed before the human arrived, but a meta-reality warper, an entity far more powerful than Discord with the power to warp the minds of all around him and the very rules of magic to make sure that he's always the Big Hero. And the role the human's assigned to Discord is the Villain to beat down or kill.

Pre-reform Discord's fine with being the villain. But on his own terms. Not dancing on some alien interloper's puppet strings.

Without friendship, or even allies, Discord's going to have to find a way to defeat a creature who can alter fate itself and who can even mind-control him. Or he may just end up worse than dead.

Art by Tenchi-Outsuno. Progress Bar at my writing journal.

Trigger warnings: Mind control (magically induced love, magically induced friendship, magically induced stupidity, Discord being Discord), noncon/dubcon (magically induced love, other forms of highly dubious consent), rape (female on male), violence/gore (mostly against Discord), literally everything in chapters 19-21, humans not being presented as unilaterally wonderful and superior to ponies and/or draconequui.

Chapters (26)

Life is full of surprises. That is a known fact. However, you always expect some kind of minor surprise, like your train arriving a little too late, or your ice-cream having vanilla taste rather than strawberry. But sometimes, life will give you surprises you could never predict. For Fluttershy, it was three little foals. But not her own foals, or even orphans. Three little foals that used to be her and her friends' most fearsome and dreaded foes.

Sombra, Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon.

Will Fluttershy's nerves survive this onslaught of misadventures? Will she keep the three villains hidden? Will she even become friends with them? Why do I sound like a narrator to a bad criminal drama? Don't think or try to answer those questions, just go ahead and read!

Edited by: MessoriaAQ, Cerulean Voice, Gidget_TheGear, Twilight Fashion

Cover art by amazing Missangest!

Cover art got featured on Drawfriend in EqD!
The story itself got proudly rejected by EqD!

Chapters (16)

Twilight is dragooned into helping Rarity finish her latest project; a romance novel. Can the Mane 6 band together to overcome cliches, continuity errors, and abysmal pacing? No, they almost certainly can't.

Now in podcast form thanks to Fanfic Friday with TF

Chapters (1)
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