//------------------------------// // Behind Doors Best Left Shut (51-75) // Story: 101 Heinous Crimes Perpetrated by King Sombra // by QueenMoriarty //------------------------------// It took about half an hour for the guards to quell the riot. Attempts at magical restraint only increased the struggles, and detainment went out of the window as soon as Rarity sent all of the hoof-cuffs sailing over the horizon with an indignant spell. It wasn't until one of the guards confiscated a squeaky hammer that they discovered the perfect way to defuse the tension. As it turned out, being hit in the face with a squeaky hammer had a tendency to induce giggling, and it was very hard for ponies to try and breach magical barriers to murder evil ponies when they kept falling over laughing. Raven pulled out a small notebook for a few brief seconds, scribbling down a memo to suggest squeaky hammers as standard equipment for riot police. While the guards were busy neutralizing the populace, Celestia's guests of honor had been taking their seats beside her. On her far left sat Prince Rutherford of Yakyakistan, his bangs pulled back to bare his hate-filled eyes and his perpetual frown somehow deepened. To the princess's immediate left sat Gilda Grieftalons of the Griffons, her only ornamentations a simple green toga and a gauntlet made from the baby tooth of an Ursa Minor. The newly crowned Dragon Lord Ember lounged on the far right, the Bloodstone Scepter clutched firmly in her claws as she stared Sombra down, or at least glared in his general direction. And finally there was Luna, huddled to her sister's side and looking both frightened and furious. Raven allowed herself a little smile, and adjusted her glasses before addressing the masses. "When the defendant was most recently resurrected, the Equestrian court was approached by multiple parties, some private and some acting on behalf of national interests. Their reasons for this were a variety of class action lawsuits with the defendant as their target. Most of these charges deal with defamation of character, business practices not prohibited under Equestrian law at the time of the initial offense, and various other crimes that are altogether less severe than the majority of charges being presented here today. Rather than waste the funds of Equestria's various foreign allies on assorted legal fees, it has been decided that, insofar as it is possible, all cases against the defendant be treated as functionally one and the same at the present time." She took another sip of water, less for her throat and more for effect. "With that being said, Sombra de Umbrum is hereby charged with the following crimes on behalf of the Yaks, Griffons, Dragons and the Royal House of Canterlot, in that order..." 51. Presenting incomplete scientific data as a conclusive thesis. 52. Lending money with the express intent to hinder rather than help. 53. Designing weapons of war that were not cost-effective, resource-efficient, or visually appealing. 54. Denying all of the above while drinking tea. 55. Obtaining the ingredients for butter without consent. 56. Seduction of a high-ranking government official with malicious intent. 57. Glorifying the actions of historical villains while exploiting cultural ignorance. 58. Exploiting financial prudence in order to encourage deplorable practices. 59. Deliberately plunging an entire people into an age of depravity disguised as prosperity. 60. Indirectly linking the livelihood of an entire species to a dead horse switch. 61. Dominating a food industry with substandard products sold at unreasonably low prices. 62. Encouraging the consumption of unhealthy meals. 63. Diluting dragon hoards with internal organs. 64. Selling a forgery of a Class Five magical artifact for the full market price. 65. Being criminally ignorant of gem quality and relative value. Raven stopped and took a deep breath, not for the sake of a glass of water but to give the princesses time to give her the go-ahead. There were certain things that had happened that she knew might not be the best thing to let the press get their hooves on. She turned to face the princesses, and noticed that Luna now seemed to be cowering under her sister's wing, doing her best to muffle mild whimpers. A small nod from Celestia, and Raven proceeded. 66. Deliberate emotional manipulation of royalty. 67. Open exploitation of politicians-by-circumstance. 68. Multiple failures to keep appointments or provide reasonable excuses for continued absence. 69. Failing to provide reasonable excuses for declining to attend one's own royal wedding. 70. Callous and rude rejection of a royal decree. The phrasing was important, Raven knew. If she had given any more details, or even said a few words out of place, she may as well have assassinated Celestia herself. In a press conference or private interview, it was the sort of thing that could be excused or fought. But if it were announced to the entire kingdom that a young Celestia had once been seduced by King Sombra, there would be no dawn for Equestria. By comparison, the things Sombra had done to Luna seemed to be a mere trifle. Raven looked up again, and balked at the sight of the tyrant. He had finally turned his hateful glare away from her, focusing instead on the Princess of the Night. The throne room seemed to have gone utterly silent save for the muffled noises that Luna was making as she buried her muzzle in Celestia's shoulder, trying without success to look away from Sombra. The worst part was that his eyes weren't even smoking with his dreaded dark magic; it was simply his gaze that was reducing an immortal alicorn to a blubbering mess. "Perhaps we should skip over some of the charges," Raven began to say before the palace shook with the force of the Royal Canterlot Voice. "I SHOULD THINK NOT." "But your majesty," Raven turned to speak to Luna, whose eyes now glowed with righteous fury, "there is already more than enough against him to have him put to death. Some things are best left unsaid, and-" "I KNOW BETTER THAN MOST WHAT MAY COME OF SECRECY AND LURKING IN SHADOWS. IF WE ARE TO HAVE JUSTICE, THEN THIS MONSTER SHALL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR ALL OF HIS SINS. READ THE CHARGES." Raven sighed, and did as she was told. 71. Unlicensed dreamwalking in non-consenting minds. 72. Incessant monitoring of thought processes during the Assembly of Nations. 73. Trespassing in a mare's private fantasies. 74. Thought manipulation of a non-consenting significant public figure while in full view of the populace. 75. Willfully inducing indecent physical performances in unconscious nobility. There was no riot. There were a few embarrassed coughs, and all present seemed to be casting a sympathetic eye towards Luna. Somewhere in the background, a guard began to sharpen an axe.