Dinner at the Castle of Chaos would've looked peculiar to the average onlooker. Not only were four of the five creatures seated at the table unusual in appearance, but also in eating habits.
Discord had the diet of a goat and would eat almost anything. Tonight he was consuming a bowl of nails. Once it was emptied, he started chomping on the bowl.
Screwball's meal contained the four basic food groups: cotton candy, chocolate, donuts and ice cream. Her mother had thrown some lima beans in there so she would have something healthy, even though nutrition didn't seem to matter with her children.
Mothball, being a changeling, had little taste for regular food. The only things that seemed to satisfy him were sugary sweets, especially chocolate. So, as usual, his meal was a massive chocolate shake the size of his head.
Zany had an odd preference for nacho cheese. Since he had first tried it, he wouldn't have anything without it, which was how his mother got him to eat his vegetables.
Fluttershy, the only non-magical being in the household, was content with a simple garden salad.
"Captain Green Bean!" Zany exclaimed as he made a piece of broccoli float in midair. "The Great Orange Beast must be destroyed!"
He levitated a green bean and spoke in a deeper voice: "He cannot be stopped, Lieutenant Broccoli!"
"Roar!" Zany growled as he made a carrot appear in his bowl of nacho cheese.
"Captain! The Beast! Oh, it's horrible!"
"Lieutenant! Attack!"
They fell into the bowl and emerged covered in the yellow goo.
"What's happening?" said Lieutenant Broccoli.
"Something's got us!" exclaimed Captain Green Bean. "Something even bigger than the Orange Beast!"
"What?"
"It's…the Prince of Chaos!"
"AAAAAAHHHH!"
The foal chomped down on the cheese covered vegetables with a smile on his face.
"Zany!" Fluttershy scolded. "How many times have I told you not to play with your food?!"
"Oh, let him have his fun, dear," Discord said, taking a bite out of his spoon. "At least he eats it after he plays with it. Remember when you tried to get Screwball to eat her vegetables?" He snickered. "She turned her celery into peppermint sticks!"
Mothball spat out some of his milkshake and laughed. Screwball scowled at him.
"I hate celery!" she declared. "It always gets stuck in my teeth."
"It's good for you, honey," Fluttershy insisted.
"Face it, darling," Discord said with a shrug. "They have your looks and my habits."
He popped the rest of his bowl into his mouth for emphasis.
Mothball glanced at Screwball and then at her empty dish.
"Hey, Mr. Discord?" he called to the other end of the table. "May I take Screwy out for a walk? I promise I'll keep her safe."
Screwball's eyes lit up and turned to her father. "Can we, Daddy? Please?"
Expecting an argument to arise, Fluttershy narrowed her eyes at her husband. To her surprise, Discord waved his paw nonchalantly.
"Of course. Go ahead, you crazy lovebirds. Just avoid the carnivorous beasts out there."
Mothball excitedly took Screwball's hoof and led her outside. Fluttershy looked up at her husband in awe.
"I'm impressed," she admitted. "It's nice to see that you finally trust the two of them alone."
Discord crossed his arms. "Oh no, you kidding? I'm totally following them."
Mothball and Screwball were unafraid of the Everfree Forest. Part of it was due to the fact that the Castle of Chaos was in the middle of it. The main reason was that if a carnivorous beast appeared, Screwball could turn it into something nonthreatening or Mothball could turn into something even more threatening.
"So," Screwball said with a grin, "you build me another snow pony?"
Mothball chuckled at the mention of his first Hearth's Warming gift to her. "Get real. You're the one who can conjure up snow in this time of year."
"True. But you've got something planned, right? I know that look of yours. So what is it?"
"Oh, you'll see."
They reached a clearing containing a brown lake, the chocolate lake Screwball had made when she was a foal.
"Where we first met," Screwball thought aloud.
Mothball glanced at her and smiled. "The day I met the most beautiful pony in all of Equestria."
She giggled and nudged his shoulder. "You flatterer."
"I'm serious. I actually felt my heartbeat, though I didn't know what it was at the time." He chuckled. "When I saw you on that lake, playing in that pirate ship…"
"Hey, that gives me an idea!"
A wooden rowboat appeared on the lake. Screwball floated into it and held out her hoof.
"Come on!"
Mothball was a little annoyed for being interrupted, but he couldn't help but smirk at Screwball's playfulness. He hovered over and sat across from her. He glanced around the boat.
"Where are the oars?"
Screwball giggled as the boat started moving by itself. "We don't need oars."
"Right."
She looked up at the starry sky. "Beautiful night, huh?"
He followed her gaze. "Yeah."
It's the perfect moment, he thought. He looked back at Screwy and then silently used his magic to summon something from home. A black box appeared in his hoof behind his back. He took a deep breath.
Here it goes.
"Screwy?"
Her eyes locked onto his. "Yeah?"
For a moment, Mothball was speechless as he once again got lost in those infinite swirls. Then he shook himself back to his senses, reminding himself why he was here. He put down the box and took Screwball's hooves in his.
"The day I met you," he began, "was the happiest day of my life. You were the pony who showed me how to have fun, the one who saw the good in me even when I didn't. I always thought I was a heartless creature, but you…"
He trailed off when he thought he heard music. He shook it off and continued his speech.
"You showed me otherwise. As if that wasn't enough, by taking me into your home, you've given me the family I've always wanted. There's no other way I can repay that than…"
He stopped again when the music grew louder and fireflies started swarming around them. The lake was suddenly blue and illuminated by the glowing insects. He looked back up at Screwball in confusion. She narrowed her eyes impatiently.
"Well, are ya gonna ask me or not?"
Mothball blinked in surprise. "What?"
"I've given you the perfect opportunity, so ask me."
"How did you…?"
"ASK ME TO MARRY YOU ALREADY!"
The changeling flinched at the volume of her voice but couldn't resist smiling at how cute she looked when angry.
"Right." He levitated the box and brought it between them. "Now, as I was saying, what better way can I repay you than making us officially family?"
He opened the box and Screwball put her hooves to her mouth in a gasp. The ring was gold, with a purple jewel that matched her eyes.
"Will you marry me, Screwy?" Mothball said with a blush.
The ring floated out of the box and onto Screwball's hoof. She held it up in front of her to admire the jewel and looked slyly back at the changeling.
"What do you think, Lover Boy?"
Mothball grinned hopefully. "Yes?"
He gasped as she gripped his chest and brought him close.
"Heck, yeah!" she exclaimed before pressing her lips to his.
Mothball moaned blissfully as he closed his eyes and kissed her back. He remembered how he used to be so hesitant to kiss her, worried that he would hurt her. Now, as he felt her love transferring to him and his love pouring into her, he knew that kissing her only made the two of them stronger.
"Ew, gross!"
The newly engaged couple pulled apart and saw Screwball's family standing in the bushes. Zany was about to gag, Fluttershy had tears in her eyes while Discord was glaring furiously at Mothball.
"So much for privacy," the changeling muttered.
Screwball smirked. "I wouldn't be too sure."
There was a flash and Discord, Fluttershy and Zany found themselves back at the castle.
"Did…" Discord uttered, "did she just…?"
"I think they wanna be left alone, honey," Fluttershy giggled.
That night, as Fluttershy climbed into bed, she noticed the blank look on her husband's face as he stared up at the canopy.
"You're not upset about our daughter getting married, are you?" she asked.
"What?" Discord responded. "Oh, no! I mean Mothball's a good kid, right? Anyone who gives up their crown for love would make a fine son-in-law, right?"
Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. "Then what's the matter?"
He gulped. "Well…it's just…he…he's terrible at proposals!"
His wife huffed. "To be fair, your proposal wasn't exactly romantic either!"
Discord sat up. "Hey, I made up for it, didn't I? Besides, what does it matter how we got engaged? We're happy now, aren't we?"
"Then why criticize our daughter's engagement?"
He opened his mouth and then paused. He grunted as he lay back down.
"Touché, my dear. Still, what kind of stallion is he to let the mare take over the proposal?"
Fluttershy turned her head and scowled at him. "Excuse me?! Mares can be just as romantic as stallions!"
"Oh, really?" Discord smirked. "Because if you're going to use us as an example, then you're out of luck. When we first met, you couldn't look ponies in the eye, let alone say 'I love you!'"
"I still could've proposed if I wanted to!"
"Is that so? How, exactly?"
Fluttershy smiled as she scooted closer to him. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe something like…this?"
Discord shivered as she ran her hoof up his eagle arm. It snaked its way around his neck, bringing their faces closer.
"And then I would lean in," she whispered, her breath caressing his ear, "and ask: 'Will you marry me?'"
Discord sighed. "That would definitely do it. But," he pulled away, "you wouldn't have had the guts back then!"
Fluttershy scowled and turned away from him.
"Oh, don't be like that, darling," Discord purred, laying his claw on her shoulder. "You know I love you, and would've married you no matter who proposed."
His wife sighed as she rolled onto her back to look up at him. "Whether I said yes or not, it would seem."
Discord shook his head. "From the beginning, I wanted my bride to marry me willingly. I never said it had to be you."
"So you would've just taken any run-of-the-mill pony?"
"Now, sweetie…"
"I'm serious, Discord. Suppose some pony else went instead of me. Would you have fallen for her instead?"
She gasped as his tail wrapped around her middle and she was lifted toward him. His face was only a breath away, his eyes staring sincerely into hers.
"If some pony else had come," Discord whispered, "I would've married her regardless. But would I have fallen in love with her? I don't think so. So few creatures have affected me, Fluttershy, but you…" He stroked her face with his paw. "You're the only one who will ever capture my heart."
Fluttershy closed her eyes with a content sigh as he brought her lips to his. Then he looked at her with a smirk.
"Now what about you, missy? Would you have married some pony else if not me?"
Fluttershy blinked and then grinned slyly. "Like you said: I wouldn't have had the guts."
"Oh, ho, ho, but anyone could've easily gone and snatched you up. After all, when I saw you singing onstage at the Grand Galloping Gala…"
He whispered in her ear. "You were like a siren calling out to my soul."
Fluttershy giggled as his paw slid down her back. "Discord, the kids…"
Discord kissed her cheek before saying, "That's why the room is soundproof, my dear."
"Hey, you awake?"
Mothball groaned at the sound of Screwball's voice. "Am now."
He opened his eyes to see her smiling above him, not wearing her hat. He was used to her coming in here, as the only alone time they could get together was when Discord was asleep, which raised the question:
"He won't catch you?"
Screwball shook her head as she slid under the covers. "Nah. He and Mom are a little…" she blushed, "busy at the moment."
Mothball's eyes widened. "You weren't…spying on them, were you?"
"Ew, gross! No, I know 'cuz Daddy just soundproofed the room."
"Wow," he mouthed. "And to think he doesn't trust me with you."
"I know, right? Even when we do get around his rules, it's not like we're doing anything naughty." She huffed. "Like I'm totally oblivious to what he and Mom do eight times a week!"
She scooted closer to the changeling and laid her hoof across his chest. Mothball smiled and put his hoof around her. Things never really went further than this whenever they spent the night together. They didn't want things to get too intense and have Discord walk in on them. No use getting him madder. They were satisfied with just holding each other, finding bliss in each other's warmth. They never spent the whole night together, in case Discord found them in the morning, so Screwball would wait until Mothball fell asleep and then leave.
"So," she whispered, "when are we gonna have the wedding?"
Mothball chuckled, somehow knowing she was going to want to discuss that.
"Your mom asked the same thing," he replied, "and I really don't care."
"We should wait until Thunder Dash and Apple Blossom get back from their honeymoon before making plans. After all, Blossom is gonna be one of my bridesmaids and I know Thunder will wanna be one of your groomstallions. By the way, who you gonna have as your best mare or stallion?"
Mothball stiffened. "I…I hadn't thought about that. I mean Thunder and Cinnamon Stick are the only guy friends I have and I'd hate to have to choose between them."
"You could always borrow Dinky or something."
"Nah, Dinky's been your best bud since birth. It wouldn't seem right."
"Well, we'll figure that out later. Where are we gonna have it, anyway?"
"I don't know. Canterlot?"
"Nah, too sophisticated."
"Sweet Apple Acres?"
"Not sophisticated enough."
"We could have it in the garden."
"Maybe. Still not sure…"
He squeezed her shoulder. "We have plenty of time to figure it out."
Screwball sighed as she gazed at the purple diamond on her hoof. "I can't believe it. We're actually doing this."
"Yeah," Mothball sighed.
"We're actually starting our lives together. We're gonna be a real family." She looked up at the ceiling in thought. "What do you suppose our kids are gonna be like?"
"WHAT?!"
The changeling jumped and would've fallen out of bed had Screwball not caught him.
"K-kids?" he panted. "But…it's kinda…we just…"
"Hold your horses, Mothy. I only brought it up because with you being a changeling and me being the daughter of chaos, would our kids have your powers or mine? Or both?" Her eyes twinkled in excitement. "Wow, that would be so cool!"
Mothball laughed nervously. "M-maybe we should take this one step at a time. I mean…k-kids are a big…big thing and…"
He frowned as a new thought occurred to him: Would we even be able to have them?
Only royal changelings could reproduce, though males couldn't do it on their own, which was why they usually acquired queens. He knew his father was a stallion his mother had seduced, but could male royals breed with ponies?
"Hey," Screwball said softly, "we don't need to think about that for a while. Right now, let's just sleep."
"Yeah," Mothball muttered as he slowly fell back on the bed. "Sleep."
Just outside the castle grounds, two armored changelings were slowly approaching, one in dark green, the other in dark blue. The one in green gazed up in awe at the castle.
"This is the place, General?"
The one in blue nodded. "This is it, Lieutenant."
"Wow. You gotta commend Discord on his exterior design."
"We're not here to admire the infrastructure, Lieutenant! We have a job to do!"
The lieutenant shook out of his daze. "Right. So how do we know which room's the prince's?"
"We smell for him, of course."
The soldiers pressed onward, but some invisible force threw them back.
"What the…?" the lieutenant exclaimed.
General Mantis stuck out his hoof and the castle rippled before them. "A force field. Figures. How else would this family be able to live in the Everfree Forest without any unwanted intrusions?"
"So how do we get in?"
"We won't," the general smirked. "We'll just have to lure the prince out."
He took the form of Screwball and the lieutenant let out a snicker.
"You look pretty good as a girl, Boss."
The general rolled his eyes and muttered in Screwball's voice: "Rookie."
Meanwhile, Mothball was alone in his bed. Screwball had left the minute he fell asleep and returned to her room.
"Moooothbaaaaaaall!"
The changeling's eyes opened at the sound of his beloved's voice. He looked at the empty space beside him.
"Screwy?"
"Moooothbaaaaaaall!"
Curious, Mothball rose to his hooves and went to the window. He saw Screwball hovering at the edge of the garden, waving at him. She gestured for him to come over. He shook his head and chuckled.
"What's she up to this time?"
Screwball disappeared into the trees, so Mothball flew down to follow her. As he approached the forest, he called out to her:
"Screwy? Screwy, what you up to? We'll get in so much trouble if your dad…"
He stopped as he caught a whiff of something. He lifted his nose and sniffed the air.
Mustard.
"Uh oh."
Mothball was about to fly out of there when he was blasted by two green beams. Before he knew it, he was encased in a cocoon. Through the green coating he could see the faces of two changeling soldiers, one he recognized as General Mantis.
"Nice to see you again, your highness," the general greeted. "Sorry for the hostility, but you'll understand our reasons once we get back to the hive."
Mothball gasped and banged against the cocoon. "No! I'm not going back there!"
The soldiers ignored his protests as they levitated the chrysalis and began carrying him.
"No! General Mantis, let me out! Help! SCREWY!"
Even though his cries were muffled by his prison, and he was far away from the castle, his fiancée heard him. Her ear twitched as her chaotic hearing picked up the sound. She jumped out of bed and raced to the window. She caught a glimpse of the two changelings carrying her beloved off.
Screwball narrowed her eyes and put on her propeller hat. "Oh no, they didn't!"
The changelings gasped in surprise when the chaotic pony appeared in their path.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" she boomed. "GET AWAY FROM MY FIANCÉ!"
She screamed so loud that the soldiers fell over. Screwball ran to Mothball's side and blasted a hole in the cocoon. He gasped in relief as she lifted him out.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Fine," he wheezed.
At this point, the soldiers were back on their hooves, their glowing horns pointed at the couple.
"Step away from the prince, girl!" General Mantis commanded.
Screwball glared at the general, her eyes glowing dangerously. "Just try me."
"What is going on here?" Mothball demanded. "Why are you bringing me back to the hive?"
"So you can be our king, of course!" the lieutenant replied.
The couple turned to him in shock. "What?!"
"You fool!" the general exclaimed. "We weren't supposed to reveal that until we were back at the hive!"
"K-k-king?" Mothball stammered. "M-me?"
"But why?" Screwball questioned. "I mean…don't you already have a leader? What about Chrysalis?"
The soldiers exchanged a sorrowful glance. This surprised both Screwball and Mothball, as neither of them had seen sadness in other changelings. It scared them.
General Mantis hung his head before responding.
"Her majesty is dying."