Appledashery

by Just Essay

Doom and Glug

"Thanks for the airlift, Rainbow," Bon Bon said.

"Yeah, yeah. What she said," Lyra tried trotting straight through the dense crowd of partygoers inside the hotel's spacious club room. The floor was covered from wall to wall with young mares and stallions in pale muzzle paint wearing black vests and even blacker bodices. "Yeesh. Can't swing a dead cat in here without hitting someone who probably huffs on dead cats to get off."

"Lyra... they can hear you, y'know?" Bon Bon muttered, trotting after her. "Could you use your inside voice, please?"

"Girl, I'm always using my inside voice." Lyra smirked. "And besides. What do these clowns care? They probably got spiderwebs and candle wax stuck in their ears."

A stallion turned his head, blinking his shadowed eyes. "What?"

"See what I mean?!" Lyra grinned.

Bon Bon managed a slight giggle. She looked behind her. "Rainbow Dash? Where are you?"

"Erm... back here... downstream from th-the tattered black umbrellas!"

"We're trying to find a good spot beside Vinyl's booth. What's holding you back?"

"You would ask that." Rainbow hobbled sideways, careening from the weight of Caramel's body clinging to her side. "Caramel. Relax, girl. We were done flying several minutes ago. You can let go."

"So... windy..." Caramel whimpered, his eyes clenched shut. "...can hear the howl in my ears! Mmmmm..."

Rainbow sighed. "You think you're lightweight now? Try resisting a breeze after the surgeons have taken your—" She blinked, then stared ahead with a groan. "Eh. Sucky joke. Gonna end it right there." She chuckled. "Lyra's poisoning me, I swear to friggin' Luna..."

"How d-do you manage to kick off the ground every d-day like th-that?" Caramel stammered.

"Very awesomely," Rainbow Dash said. "Why don't you tell me how you spend day in and day out plucking carrots from the ground, Miss Earth Pony?"

"Actually... uhm... I haven't done manual farm labor for years."

"Oh."

"I've been an apprentice to a farrier over the past two Winter Wrap-Ups. I... er... make horseshoes and stuff."

"No kidding? So you're putting your cutie mark to good use?"

"Well enough. It's just to get by and... y'know... pay for the funds."

"Ah. Got it. Well, let's get you to relax, huh?" Rainbow Dash said, peering over the gothic crowd mingling across the pre-show scene. "I think there's a bar somewhere towards the back around here—"

"A bar?!" Lyra spun a swift one-eighty. She galloped through the crowd. "Buck this noise! Point me in the right direction!"

"Lyra?!" Bon Bon pouted. "Vinyl's booth is in that direction!"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, she'll be disappointed if she doesn't see our faces up close! I'm sure of it!"

"She'll be even more disappointed if I don't enjoy her music. And I can't enjoy anything unless I'm sloshed. Now you coming to grab a drink too or what?"

Bon Bon sighed, ears drooping. "... ... ...do they serve hard lemonade?"

"Damn straight, girl! Get your bon-bonny-butt over here!"

"Hehe. Okay." Bon Bon trotted after Lyra with a skip to her step.

Rainbow murmured in her direction: "Don't make out until after the lemon's gone from your muzzle."

Bon Bon flashed a surprised look. "Wat." Fwump! She bumped straight into the bustle of a mare's gothic dress. "Ooof! Oh! S-so sorry!"

"Don't be sorry," the mare droned, eyes straight. "The only thing you'll be buried with is all the regret you choose to carry with you." A slow blink. "And spiders."

"Oh... eheheh... how quaint. Ahem." She slithed past the dull-faced goths. "I'm going to... uh... go drink, now."

Caramel gulped. "I'm not sure I want to drink at this thing. If I hiccup, these weirdos might think I'm trying to steal their souls through my throat or something."

"They're goths, Caramel, not idiots."

"Hey, nice colors you're wearing, madame," a stallion said, drifting by and tipping his top hat. "It's a good testament to utter frivolty in life's absurd struggle against an inevitably dismal outcome."

Silence.

"Then again." Rainbow sighed. "Maybe they'll have some hard cider along with the lemon."

"If th-they have soft pineapple, then I'm game," Caramel said.

"Whatever." Rainbow snorted as she and Caramel strolled across the crowd. "Never thought I'd be in a room full of ponies more depressing than me."

"See?" Caramel sported a grin. "It's a happy vacation after all!"

"Heh..."

Comments

[Hestia]

"Never thought I'd be in a room full of ponies more depressing than me."

Neither did I, Dash. Neither did I.

[Phoenix Kitten]

"They're goths, Caramel, not idiots."
"Hey, nice colors you're wearing, madame," a stallion said, drifting by and tipping his top hat. "It's a good testament to utter frivolty in life's absurd struggle against an inevitably dismal outcome."
Silence.
"Then again." Rainbow sighed.

Never say things like that Dash, it's like tempting fate, someone will walk by with the express purpose of proving you wrong.

[FloydienSlip]

Funny arc is getting funnier.

[Phoenix Kitten]

7061173 Nope, it's always Scootaloo.
Every time Scootaloo appears, regardless of the arc, it switches to first person narrative.

[zaponator]

This is fun. I missed fun.

[Lightning Bearer]

"Never thought I'd be in a room full of ponies more depressing than me."

I'm not convinced you're quite there yet, Rainbow. Get back to me in the morning when these goth ponies are staggering home under the rising sun, their make-up running and faded from hours of sweating, wondering what they're doing with their lives, and maybe then they'll be more depressing than you.

[Aatxe360]

I can see Maud at home here.

[Sir Mediocre]

7061312 Maud isn't a goth. She just shuns overt expression.

[Aatxe360]

7061362

But she is depressing also talks about rocks and wears drab clothing. That's almost the same thing as spiders, right?

[Sheendough]

And to think a year ago we were getting through the cider arc.

[Elsaack]

7062614
It's a great comic called goblins. http://www.goblinscomic.org
It's d&d universe with quite a bit of tongue-in-cheek. Then it will have vicious fight scenes. Give it a read.

[Dash32]

"Don't be sorry," the mare droned, eyes straight. "The only thing you'll be buried with is all the regret you choose to carry with you." A slow blink. "And spiders."

That's deep bro.

[LucyHorseThing]

More and more I am craving friends like these.

[arancaytar]

"Hey, nice colors you're wearing, madame," a stallion said, drifting by and tipping his top hat. "It's a good testament to utter frivolty in life's absurd struggle against an inevitably dismal outcome."

"Please synopsize Appledashery in one sentence."