Appledashery

by Just Essay

Lost to Outer Daintiness

Rainbow Dash was dying. It was a slow death, born out of satin, full of weeping and gnashing of pegasus feathers.

“Gnnngh... grnnnngh...” Rainbow Dash hissed through clenched teeth, feeling like the weight of the fashion world was clinging to her spine. “Nnngh-guh...”

Rarity spun and fussed and spun and fussed around the mare, threading needles in and out of key spots as she made the tiniest alterations to the sinfully shiny gown. “Hold still, Rainbow Dash! Please, you must refrain from even the slightest jitter!”

“So... itchy...” Rainbow squeaked.

Rarity frowned. “It is not!” She sighed and put on a playful smile while fluffing the edges of Rainbow's blouse. “Honestly, why is everything with even a modicum of grace so analogous to pulling teeth with you?”

“How can anypony actually enjoy this sort of a thing?”

“I know you'll only scoff at me, Rainbow, but I'd say this absolutely suits you,” Rarity said with a sparkling smile. “Oh, to be born with a mane as beautiful and exquisite as yours!”

“Eeeeeeuughhhhh...”

“I mean it!” Rarity cooed, flouncing a few prismatic threads for emphasis as she passed by Rainbow's head. “So silky and vibrant and manageable! And yet what a shame that—day in and day out—you carelessly throw it to the whim of high winds and... brrrrrbrrbrbrbrrr... rainwater.”

“I happen to like flying,” Rainbow grunted. “Have they invented a dress for that?”

“Oh, Rainbow Daa-aa-aash...” Rarity giggled and continued fiddling with the lace hem of the gown. “The sky is no place for an elegant ball!”

“Rarity—”

“Or even a romantic soiree for that matter!”

“But—like—what if there wasn't a need for it?! Or a point?!”

“Are you kidding?! He'll be digging his own grave if he refuses to take you out as soon as possible—”

“—or no stallion?!” Rainbow clenched her teeth. “Rarity, you're my friend, and your generosity is one of the coolest things ever, but I have to tell ya—you've got it all wrong about me!”

“Have I, now?” Rarity grinned at the crinoline'd mare atop the platform. “Are you or are you not a mare who appreciates doing awesome things with magnificent flair?!”

“Well... uh... sure! Totally!”

“Hmmm-hee-hee-hee!” Rarity beamed. “Then believe me when I say that I am providing you with the absolute best flair that elegance has to offer!”

“Unnnngh...” Rainbow Dash groaned. She was sweating beneath the satiny lengths of the gown, for her legs were starting to buckle. “Rarity...”

“Oooh! And thankfully, we have the precise thing to finish the ensemble!” Rarity trotted gaily towards the far end of the Boutique and picked up a familiar looking box. “And I know just who to thank for ittttt!”

“Huh?!” Rainbow blinked, cross-eyed. She snarled, “Darn it, you planned all of this... every single square inch.”

“Horses for courses, darling.” Rarity blinked and peeled the container open with her telekinesis. “Ah!” She grinned. “It wasn't damaged from rattling around in your chariot one bit! Here we are!” She pulled out a fancy white bow and floated it to the back of Rainbow's head. “Oh, and it's just the perfect size!”

“Gawwwwwwwwwd...”

“Now no more of that, Rainbow!”

“Just shove a dagger into my chest, will ya?”

“There'll be time to practice dramatics later.” Rarity bunched Rainbow's mane and formed a loose knot, pinning the bow to the curled threads. “Now... this isn't the time for a full makeover, but... I do believe you'll get the idea of the vision I had in mind when I first dreamt up this look.” She smiled. “Three hours with yours truly will surely turn your mane into four times the masterpiece it already is, darling. Alas...” She held her breath and pivoted Rainbow to face the far end of the stage. “Take a gander at yourself...”

“What, am I supposed to be looking at a mirror?”

“Hmmm?”

Rainbow pointed with a laced sleeve. “You've got a poster in the way. Some supermodel pony or something...”

Rarity held a hoof over her muzzle and giggled. “Do take another look, my dear.”

Rainbow sighed. When she blinked, the supermodel blinked. “Oh.” Her ears folded, and some elegant equine trembled like a shy cherub. “Oh.” She raised a hoof, and a regally clothed mare performed a gracefully dainty gesture. “Ohhhh.”

“Hmmmmmmmmmm?” Rarity leaned in, trying to contain her squeals. “Well? Whatdoyouthink? Hehhh?”

“It's...” Rainbow fidgeted, her eyes doing figure-eights around the demure mare with a familiar coat stuck in an unfamiliar air of beauty. “...it's... really freaky.”

“Hah!” Rarity laughed airily. “Truer poetry was never spoken! I dare say, I may very well have flabbergasted you.”

“That's one way of putting it,” Rainbow muttered. She bit her lip as her legs continued to tremble, turning number and number. “Does it... uh... r-really need the bow, though?”

“Well, I ordered it especially for this outfit.” Rarity plucked the thing loose and tapped her chin in thought. “Hmmmm... You know, come to think of it, I have something that's less ivory and more eggshell white that could compliment the dress a million times better.”

“Uhhhh... great!” Rainbow fidgeted, attempting to wriggle out of the gown. “You work on that! I gotta go and—”

“This will only take a second!” Rarity sing-songed, galloping out the door. “I know I can make this perfect!”

“Ungh... friggin' zipper—Rarity?!” Rainbow barked, a vein pulsing near her ears. “Where the hay are you going?! You can't just—dang it!” She stood alone in the room. At first, she fumed, but then as the seconds drew themselves into a minute, she glanced around, held her breath... and simply collapsed.

Fwomp!

“Guhhhhhhhhhhh...” Rainbow Dash exhaled, wincing. Her wings flexed and unflexed through the strategic holes cut in the sides of the outfit. Catching her breath, she felt the blood rushing through her weary legs. “Whew... friggin' A... thought I-I'd never get a chance to rest.” She frowned, staring worriedly at the folds of the gown being crushed beneath her. “Ugh... I'm ruining it.” She squinted. “Am I ruining it?” She bit her lip, flexed her wings some more, and then flapped them.

Hovering up, she hoped to rest her dangling legs. Instead, she miscalculated for the weight of the skirts, and she teetered backwards in midair.

“Who-oah!” Rainbow wheezed.

Three ponyquins rattled into one another.

Wincing, Rainbow quick-as-lightning caught them and leaned them upright before they could tip over. They rattled to a stop as she exhaled with relief. For some reason, her hoof lingered on the “muzzle” of one featureless ponyquin. She blinked at it, then turned once more towards the mirror across the stage.

Yet again, a petite and demure mare stared back, hovering in an angelic gown.

Rainbow Dash clenched her teeth. She touched down beside the ponyquin, then closed her eyes. She took several deep breaths. Gradually, her ears folded softly against her head. She squinted one eye at the ponyquin, then took two trotting steps sideways. Awkwardly at first—fidgeting—she lowered her neck until it was beneath the chin of the dressing dummy. Then, biting her lip, she raised her head, allowing the ponyquin's neck to “nuzzle” her through her mane. A soft breath left her, and she sniffled once. Smiling sweetly, Rainbow nuzzled back, raising a hoof daintily. Her heart pounded beneath the blouse, and she prepared to coo six simple words—

“Sorry for the wait, Rainbow.” Rarity's loud hoofsteps reentered the room. “I didn't find the bow that I was looking for, but I do believe I found two even better candidates—”

Thud! All four of Rainbow's hooves landed neatly in the center of the stage.

Rarity jerked in place, startled.

Rainbow was standing dead-still, though her skirts flounced to a stop. She stared straight ahead while the ponyquin beside the stage rocked and rattled and vibrated until it was once again rigid.

Silence.

“Rainbow... I...” Rarity blinked quizzically. “What... did you...?”

“So you found the b-bows, h-huh?” Rainbow grinned nervously. “How super!”

“Egads!” Rarity hobbled up onto the stage. “Is it hot in here?” She dabbed at the mare's forehead. “You're sweating terribly! Celestia, above! I'd better get this off you before you ruin it!”

“Jee...” Rainbow's voice cracked. “What a sh-shame, huh?”

Comments

[Sheendough]

Just tell her there's no stallion already, goddamnit!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jay_Baker]

Wow this chapter was really good can't wait for the next one :)

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

4669602 I think she's trying. Rarity's just not listening to her.

[TwilightUCrazy]

...

You dirty fucking whore...

[Sheendough]

4669690 Then smash her head with a hammer until she listens!!!

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

4670074 Now, now. I don't think that Dash needs to go that far.

Yet, anyway.

[HyperMonica]

“What, am I supposed to be looking at a mirror?”
“Hmmm?”
Rainbow pointed with a laced sleeve. “You've got a poster in the way. Some supermodel pony or something...”
Rarity held a hoof over her muzzle and giggled. “Do take another look, my dear.”
Rainbow sighed. When she blinked, the supermodel blinked. “Oh.” Her ears folded, and some elegant equine trembled like a shy cherub. “Oh.” She raised a hoof, and a regally clothed mare performed a gracefully dainty gesture. “Ohhhh.”

I think I love this more than waffles.

....If thats even possible.

[Sheendough]

4670083 Then smash her head with a ponyquin or something! That girl sure has the thickest skull.

[Tchernobog]

4669811 whoa there. Unless you mean Rarity, if so, carry on!

[RoboRed]

Oh. My. God.

I am mansqueeing so hard over here. First, Dashie being absolutely ADORABLE in that dress (someone please do some art of this), and then there's whatever she did with the ponyquin. Oh my god..

So. Adorable. I love cute, feminine Dashie.

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

4670095 Better, but still kinda rough.

And I definitely agree with you on that one!

[BabySkittleMonster]

Oh, come on Rarity! She couldn't make it more obvious that she's gay if she tried! How do you still not notice that?

Also, adorable Dash is adorable.

[zaponator]

Good gawd, that was hideously adorable.

[PropMaster]

Send notification to my next of kin, this story has killed me with cute.

[Novi]

So cute!

[Aatxe360]

4670190

Rainbow was cheating with a ponyquin.

...

She has it bad.

I would like to see her collapse on the farm and have Applejack carry her...anywhere.

[YoshiFawful64]

“Are you or are you not a mare who appreciates doing awesome things with magnificent flair?!”

Rarity's channelling her inner zebra.

[Full-time_Introvert]

Tell my family I love them, I'm dying from a cuteness heart attack!
Is that even possible?

Ah have no idea.

[Fishberry]

4670089

HERETIC!!

[destinedjagold]

“Just shove a dagger into my chest, will ya?”

I freaking lost it!

[Gammahoof]

Oh. My. God. Squeee! This story will kill me if this continues.

[Dash32]

I can sort of relate to Dash on this. Every time I put on a tuxedo, two words come to mind. “...kill me.”

[Seraphimus]

The moment she ralises how beautiful she really is

[arancaytar]

Rarity spun and fussed and spun and fussed around the mare, threading needles in and out of key spots as she made the tiniest alterations to the sinfully shiny gown. “Hold still, Rainbow Dash! Please, you must refrain from even the slightest jitter!”

I can't! I need to dash! This is so unrainbow.

Rainbow was standing dead-still, though her skirts flounced to a stop. She stared straight ahead while the ponyquin beside the stage rocked and rattled and vibrated until it was once again rigid.

[Totally Kyle]

Rainbow Dash was dying. It was a slow death, born out of satin, full of weeping and gnashing of pegasus feathers.

That biblical reference was so subtle that I nearly missed it. But yeah, Rainbow Dash is in her own personal hell, isn't she?