Appledashery

by Just Essay

Nope

The world cascaded in horrific slow motion. The deadly weight of the cracked building face plunged towards Granny Smith's frail body.

Before Rainbow could register the alarmed shrieks of Applejack and the other farmers, she was already taking off, soaring swiftly towards the elder mare. Within two blinks, it was obvious to the pegasus that she couldn't make it in time.

"Miss Smith!" Rainbow shrieked, her voice cracking through a pained muzzle. "Jump away! Quick! It's gonna—"

Amidst all the bedlam, Rainbow heard a single, loud, audible snap from directly behind her. She didn't dare turn and look, and it was a good thing too—for what she witnessed ahead of her stole her breath away.

While the wooden frame was within inches of crushing Granny Smith's skull, it suddenly and inexplicably shattered into a dozen pieces with a brilliant flash of light. Half-a-second later, the splintery bits landed in a harmless halo all around the old pony. Granny Smith was utterly untouched.

Rainbow skidded to a stop in midair, her jaw agape. "What in the b-buck...?!" Twitching, she finally looked behind her.

The granite hood stood upright. Rainbow was almost certain she had tipped the thing on its side just seconds ago.

Before she could make sense of anything—

"Land's sakes!" Applejack galloped over the hillside on thudding hooves, followed shortly by Big Macintosh, Golden Harvest, and the rest of the ponies. "Granny! Granny!" She grasped the elder's shoulders, her face pale with sweat and horror. "Are ya alright?! Lemme look at you!"

"Eeeyu-humina—what?"! Granny clutched a loose lily or two, squinting confusedly at the farm filly. "Why, of course I'm alright! Why wouldn't I be?" She frowned and swatted Applejack's hooves. "Stop pawin' me like I'm some sort of dag-blame'd hog gettin' spruced up for a show!"

"Oh, Granny!" Applejack's voice wavered as she threw her forelimbs around the old mare, hugging her close. "I th-thought I'd lost ya, darlin'! I had n-no idea that there frame was so loose! You almost plum died!"

"Died? Pffft!" Granny patted Applejack's shoulder and smiled into her face. "Why, what in Equestria are ya babblin' about? I've still got a good few years left in me, ya silly pony!" She tilted her head down, gazing blankly at all of the chunks of wood lying in a perfect circle around her vulnerable figure. "Huh... That's strange. Who put all these chunks of plywood around here?"

"Oh goodness..." Applejack sniffled, smiling weakly as she rubbed her green eyes dry. "I swear, I-I've never been so scared in all my life!"

"That was nothing short of a miracle," Golden Harvest murmured through a gaping muzzle. She stared up at Big Macintosh. "You ever seen anything like that, Big Mac?"

The stallion's eyes were like peas set in the center of wide saucers. "....eeeeeeeeeenope." He shuddered nervously, his eyes trailing the path that the wooden planks had taken in their fall.

"It was incredible," another pony stammered. "It's like the thing exploded in midair!"

"I can't believe what I'm seeing," a stallion remarked. "Did something hit it?"

"Maybe it was a tree branch!"

"No way. Granny Smith wasn't standing anywhere near a tree."

"Perhaps a sharp gust of wind..."

"You feeling any change in the air? Because I'm not!"

"Folks... folks," Applejack said, waving her hooves. "Let's... uhm... let's all call it a day..."

"What?!" Granny Smith frowned. "But AJ, you barely done raised half of this here barn—"

"And to be perfectly honest, I don't rightly care at the moment," Applejack said with a slight frown. "It's not the most important thang for us to be workin' on right now. Besides, I reckon it needs a heapin' load of inspection before we labor on it any further. Ya feel me?"

Several of the ponies gathered there nodded and muttered with approval. Everyone was still catching their breath from the near calamity.

"Well... uh..." Granny Smith nervously rubbed her scalp. "If th-that's what you think is for the best, darlin', then who am I to argue with ya?"

"No arguments whatsoever, Granny." Applejack smiled as she nuzzled the elder cheek-to-cheek. "Let's get you inside and rest up a bit. We're done for the day."

"Well, if that's the case, how about y'all samplin' a piece of my latest apple cherry pie?!"

"Heheheh..."

"Oh, that sounds marvelous."

"Don't mind if I do."

"Eeeeyup."

As the farm ponies trotted off, Applejack lingered behind the group. She froze in place, blinking, then truned around. Her head tilted up. "Oh! Rainbow!" She tightened her hat on her head and smiled awkwardly. "I... uh... shucks. In all the excitement, I plum forgot you was hoverin' there!"

"Uhm..." Rainbow gulped a lump down her throat and smiled crookedly. "That's okay. I-I kind of forgot I was here too," her voice cracked.

Applejack sighed through a smile. "Life sure is dayum surprisin' at times, would you agree?"

"Uhhh... maaaaaaaaaybe?"

"You were usin' yer wings the whole time." Applejack's eyes narrowed. "I dun suppose ya got a good view of what the hay just happened with that there buildingface?"

"I... uhm..." Rainbow glanced back at the granite shard, then once more at the farm filly. "I think I had sweat in my eyes at the time."

Applejack slowly, slowly nodded. "Uh huh..."

Rainbow bit her lip.

A blink, and then Applejack smiled. "Well!" She tilted her hat back and smiled. "Good thang nopony got flattened! Especially a pony I lurve with every fiber of my being!" She motioned with her head. "C'mon inside, sugarcube. I reckon an energetic speedster like you is absolutely dyin' for a taste of some sweet apple cherry pie!"

"Uhm... eheh..." Rainbow nervously tittered. "Thanks, but no thanks, AJ. As much as I would love to have a sweet taste of your apple cherry... p-pie..." She wheezed, then cleared her throat. "I... uh... got stuff to do."

"Well, darn if you ain't the busiest of ponies these days."

"Er..." Rainbow rubbed her forelimbs together like a housefly while she looked away. "Yeahhhhhh..."

"Well, another time, then! You've treated me and the girls." Applejack winked as she briskly trotted away. "It'd only be right that I treat you too."

Rainbow waved. She tried speaking, but it only came out as a foalish squeak, "That would be super awesommmmmmmme thankssssssss..." Applejack didn't hear her, and for the umpteenth time, Rainbow Dash was relieved. With a heavy sigh, she slumped in mid-air, lingered, then gradually looked behind her.

The shard remained standing upright, its granite surfaces glistening in the air.

Rainbow Dash touched down. On softly padding hooves, she shuffled towards it, squinting the whole time.

The horn was as dormant as a gravestone.

With a sigh, Rainbow Dash squatted low, glaring at the thing. "How in Equestria's should I be expected to hang onto this thing, Noir?" she thought aloud. "It brings nothing but trouble wherever it goes."

"Au contraire, mon petit cheval," a deep voice spotaneously rasped. Crkkk-kkkk! Before Rainbow's twitching eyes, the horn mutated, turning into a tiny granite serpent with mutated legs, horns, and a fanged smile. "If you paid attention with those ruby peepers of yours, you'll realize I just stopped trouble from happening," it said before producing a granite thumb's up.

"Guaaaaaaaaaah!" Rainbow inhaled, her every mane hair standing on end. THWAP! She bucked the animated shard into the nearest ditch before savagely backtrotting, her body slung away from it in a forty-five degree angle. "Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope!" She backflipped into a throng of bushes and hid inside, shivering.

Comments

[Eclipse LunarSol]

Uhh. . . .why the hell are there so many Celestiadamn chapters?

[Tiran]

4250124

Because the author updates every day, even if its only a few hundred words. Its pretty nice, especially given the number of stories that go months between updates.

[Tchernobog]

As much as I would love to have a sweet taste of your apple cherry... p-pie..

Annnnnnnd... it awakens!

[Aatxe360]

4250325

I can't believe Rainbow turned her down. Again.

And wow, creepy, mini Discord.

[Eclipse LunarSol]

4250171 Oh, okay. But why did so many people dislike my comment? It was just a simple question. . .

[Bulbajer]

Nopenopenopenope

[zaponator]

I don't trust this development! Not for a second will I believe that thing is actually good! Mark my words, just as soon as Rainbow starts trusting that shard it's gonna blow someone's head off.
...okay, maybe something less gory, but it's gonna be bad!

[YoshiFawful64]

Well, then. This is going to be... interesting.

[Misspegasister_]

Discord

！(◎_◎;)

[Lone Gazebo]

Huh. And here I was about to think that under AJ's Hat she was secretly a unicron.

[Dash32]

JESUS HOW MANY DAMN CHAPTERS ARE THERE?! Not that I'm complaining or nothing

[Metal Aura]

4250124 To help you procrastinate more efficiently.

[ImpossibleReflection]

4250124
I wonder if he/she knows how far it's gotten now?

[arancaytar]

I reckon an energetic speedster like you is absolutely dyin' for a taste of some sweet apple cherry pie!

The taste of an Apple's cherry, you say?

As much as I would love to have a sweet taste of your apple cherry... p-pie...

Oh good, I was half afraid that I went too far with that one.

"Au contraire, mon petit cheval,"

I was wondering when that would happen.

[True Edge]

"Thanks, but no thanks, AJ. As much as I would love to have a sweet taste of your apple cherry... p-pie..."

Not sure you actually saved that from sounding dirty, there, Dashie.