Appledashery

by Just Essay

Dun Dun Dunnerds

“You've got some explaining to do, bird-brain,” grumbled a suited stallion as he trotted over a dismantled wooden shack. Another stallion hoisted a mortar cannon over his shoulder while others searched the ruined edges of the gravel-filled quarry. “You told us that you wouldn't engage the targets. You said that you would wait for all of us to stage an attack at once.”

Romulus grumbled as he reached into a chunk of wooden debris, retrieving his scimitar. “I've said lots of things. But I'm a griffon of action.” He turned, glaring aside at his “partners.” “When an opportunity arises, I seize it.”

“So what do you call the bullcrap that just went down?!” the thug asked.

“Yeah, ya mangy pigeon?” Another stallion trotted up. “How are you going to explain this to our boss?” He smirked. “Or them diamond dogs? You know they're drooling for a slice of the pie as well.”

“The situation only went south because another one of Noir's agents arrived.”

“I thought you offed that bat-freak.”

“One doesn't simply murder the Lunar Code and get away with it,” Romulus droned. “Gentlecolts, we've ignited a tender box that won't go out until every shard is found.”

The stallions exchanged nervous glances.

“What's the matter?” Romulus smirked under his beak. “Getting cold hooves?”

One frowned at him. “You didn't tell us how deep this was gonna get.”

“Oh, it's deep, alright.” Romulus glared. “We're dealing with chaotic forces so ancient that they out-power abominable things that would make you pee into your mother's grave at the sight of them.” He gestured blindly towards the horizon. “If your boss failed to gather that from our meeting, then that's his fault, not mine.”

“This whole operation depends on you, pal,” another stallion said. “Don't botch this!”

“I was handling myself just fine until you ingrates began bombing me from the hillside.”

“I dunno...” One stallion glanced at another, chuckling. “You seemed to be having some trouble from our vantage point.”

“Heheheheh... yeah.”

Fwoooooosh! In a blink, Romulus had grabbed both stallions by the throat and lifted them a hundred feet up. The thugs below gasped, scrambling for their guns, but their two comrades were inescapably at the mercy of the enraged griffon's talons.

“You want a proper vantage point?” Romulus sneered in their faces. “How about this?”

“Grkkkkttk!” one sputtered.

The other struggled to speak. “Please... ngrkkktt... p-put us d-down-crkkktt!”

“I hate ponies,” Romulus growled, frowning. “I loathe their sissy habits, their hypocritical harmonic ways, their fuzzy coats. A bunch of slack-jawed hay-humpers, the whole lot of you. And even the ones who pretend to be 'tough,' like your illustrious fatass, Don Canter, are really just hydra fodder in the making. Oh, what I wouldn't give to gut each and every one of you namby-pamby princess prancers in your goddess-damn sleep.”

Fwoooosh! He swooped down, dropping the two quivering stallions like sacks of meat. Their companions rushed over to their side, checking on them.

“However...” Romulus hovered above the group. “...as I'm in it for the bits, I'm afraid the murder spree will have to wait.” He smiled sadistically. “I'll be glad to unleash my frustrations on this elusive Firefly. When Don Canter gets ahold of her body, he can mail her in a box to that hungry basilisk who won't shut up.”

“Nnngh... o-okay... Romulus...” one stallion wheezed, clutching at his throat.

“Whatever you s-say...”

“Good.” Romulus folded his lion-arms. “Good. Now... shall we get back to business?”

A stallion stood up, biting his lip. “Any s-suggestions?”

Romulus took a deep breath. “Believe it or not, I did a good hawk-scan of this town. That dull-gray mare who was with Firefly is a local known around these streets as 'Maud Pie.' Her father's an influential stallion with a rock farm located due west of the city proper.” He pointed at several thugs. “You... you and you. Go and pay her family a visit.”

“What for?”

“Leverage.” Romulus grinned. “If Firefly likes putting her partners into harm's way, then she'll have to learn to deal with the consequences.” He examined the sharpness of his scimitar, eyes twitching. “If she won't cough up the shards to us, then we'll be cooking her a sampling of humble Pie...” A grin. “...and she won't be liking the ingredients. No... not one bit.”

Comments

[RoboRed]

Her father's an influential stallion with a rock farm located due west of the city proper.

“If she won't cough up the shards to us, then we'll be cooking her a sampling of humble Pie...” A grin. “...and she won't be liking the ingredients. No... not one bit.”

...Leave Quarrington and the family alone, you goddamn buzzard...

[Sharp Quill]

We may find out what a royally pissed Maud does after all...

Even scarier: a royally pissed Pinkie Pie!

[Lightning Bearer]

Maybe it's just a griffon thing, but Romulus really sounds like Gilda sometimes. If they end up being related... well, I actually wouldn't be very surprised.

[Leftover of Saikano]

I hope they don't hurt Clyde.
Let's go and meet the Pies.

5116912 That's racist.

[FloydienSlip]

And then Skirts wrote the spin-off sequel, Pies.

[Aatxe360]

The puns will be his undoing! :flail:

I was hoping for some more emotes with the site update.

Romulus grew a spine somewhere in there. I like this character development.

[RoboRed]

5118585
I was hoping they'd at least introduce a menu or panel or something on the mobile site to add emotes so I wouldn't have to memorize and type them all out.

[Loeden]

I have the feeling the Pies will kick his arse.

This arc has been a blast, best one yet in my opinion!

[Future Regret]

Mmmm... sounds good.

[Snowdrifter]

5119104

We had to TYPE the emotes?!
Oh, the horror...

[arancaytar]

Oh you are so dead, guys.

Pinkie and Maud are two ponies whose family you really shouldn't mess with.

And that's before Pinkie and Maud themselves get involved. Then it's good night.