Appledashery

by Just Essay

In Want of a Preface

From high above, the smoke from the explosives were just beginning to clear. Romulus marched through the crumbling debris and peered down at the top of the shaft. His hawkeyes narrowed scrutinizing every shape and shadow. He could almost detect the barest hint of light, flickering in a distant sliver.

“Did we get 'em?” asked one of the henchstallions as he shuffled up to stare down alongside the griffon. “Whew! That's a long way down to crap yourself into oblivion!”

“It's hard to say,” the bounty hunter hissed through his sharp beak. “Grab your climbing gear. I'm going to inspect for bodies.”

“Hey. Right after you, sport.”

Romulus was already diving. He soared down the tight tunnel, his wings spread to occupy two-thirds of the shaft's width. The further he descended, the more he could make out the patch of brightly-lit space in the wall of the vertical tunnel below him.

“Oh for Tartarus' sake...” He sneered. “What are these damn ponies made out of?!” Schiiiiiing! He flew swiftly for the break in the wall, scimitar first. “Yaaaaaaaaugh—”

The adjacent corridor exploded from the other side, forcing a spray of sharp rocks and heavy stones to spill out. Romulus was nearly clipped in mid-air. He pulled his wings back, somersaulted, and bumped hard into the wall while shielding himself from the spray of pebbles. Once the ordeal was over, he snarled and punched the nearest slab of rock.

“Damn it to Tirek's dunghole!” He spat. “I've had it with this?!”

“Having some trouble down there, foghorn?!” slurred one of the thugs from above.

“Never you mind!” Romulus growled. As he heard the rattling of climbing equipment, he shot his beak up and yelled. “And bring some more damn explosives!”

---

Maud lowered her hoof and pivoted away from the collapsed opening in the wall. “There. The rocks are on our side. I've made sure of it.”

“Way to go, Mable!” Daring cheered.

“Maud.”

“You're a game changer indeed, Megan!” Daring winked. “Glad to have you on the team!” She twirled about. “'So, as Daring and her inteprid partners covered their tracks, they took the time to survey their labyrinthine surroundings and find a new avenue by which to pursue their elusive—'”

“Hey! Books by Tape! Shut it!” Rainbow grumbled as she peered around a cleft of rock into a looming cavern beyond. “You can dictate your vanglorious horse hockey later!”

“Hah!” Daring grinned. “And since when were you voted to be our illustrious leader?!”

“Hey! I've got an idea for a literary segment!” Rainbow spun about with a plastic grin. “How about 'Reading Rainbow!'” She frowned. “The next time you say one sentence about your stupid books, you're gonna have a rock the size of an encyclopedia shoved up your plot! But don't take my word for it!”

Pinkie Pie jingled. “Duh duh DA! Snkkkt—Ee-hee-hee-hee!”

“I just think it's a little bit presumptuous for you to be taking orders when I'm the one and only certified adventurer in this cave!”

“Uh... excuse me?!” Rainbow glared across the way. “I don't know anything about adventuring?!”

“Hey, if the shoe fits, champ.” Daring smirked. “Or, in this case, slips off completely and gives you hoof-and-mouth disease. Heheheh.”

“I haven't fought cyclopses, basilisks, diamond dogs, and mobsters just to fill up amateur hour!” Rainbow snarled, pointing at her turquoise-suited chest. “Have you ever kicked a dragon in the face?! Or stared down Nightmare Moon?! Or danced with the buffalo in the pale moonlight?!”

“Well then...” Daring Do adjusted her helmet and grinned slyly. “If you're such a prodigy of adventure... how come you've never written a book about it?!”

“Well m-maybe... uh... I-I'll have some other pony write my life's story someday!” Rainbow's voice cracked. “And boy wouldn't you be eating them words!”

“Considering the fact that you penned them, I'd probably crap 'em out like corn kernels within a minute.”

“Grrrrrrrrr—”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie demands silence!” roared the unicorn.

“Ha! See?!” Rainbow smirked. “Even she's on my—”

“Both of you!” Trixie hissed, trotting ahead and carrying the only light with them. “Trixie senses something ahead. It might be a path out of here.”

“Or to the shard that you are sorting,” Maud droned.

“Are you out of your stale pony mind?!” Trixie hollered back. “Trixie did not sign up for this fecal matter! The soonest shaft out of this hole-in-the ground, Trixie is so out of here!”

“And let those bad-bad-baddies get away with their bad-bad-bad things?!” Pinkie sing-songed.

“What in Luna's name are you babbling about?”

“My sister Pinkie is right,” Maud said, trotting slowly towards the front of the claustrophobic procession. “Those malevolent ponies back there have shown that they're willing to endanger all lives in order to get to what they want. Whatever this rock is that Rainbow and Daring need, it's best that we get to it so that the fiends don't hurt anyone else.”

“You've got to be kidding me!” Trixie frowned. “You think the Great and Powerful Trixie will actually put her life in more danger for a dumb rock?”

“You misunderstand me,” Maud said, glancing at her with a liquid blink. “It was not a request.”

“Oh really?”

“Indeed.” Maud pivoted like a tortoise and leisurely tapped a patch of stone in front of them. POWWWWWW! A hole opened instantly, four times the size of any single one of them.

Daring, Rainbow, and Trixie huddled as a group, shivering.

“Look.” Maud pointed. “I found us a shortcut.” She inched her way forward, exploring. “We had better make tracks.”

“You said it, Maudville!” Pinkie Pie bounced after her. “Come on, girls! Last one in's a rotten cupcake! Heeheehee!”

Trixie gulped. “Trixie changes her mind. So long as Trixie is on Maud's side, she will go anywhere she has to.”

“Hey!” Daring beamed. “I just got the title for this book!” She spun and grinned at Rainbow Dash. “Daring Do and the Maud Squad! Eh? Eh?” She grinned.

Seconds passed.

Rainbow yanked her pith helmet over her muzzle.

Comments

[Sharp Quill]

“Daring Do and the Maud Squad! Eh? Eh?”

Early 70s TV show reference.

Rainbow yanked her pith helmet over her muzzle.

Appropriate response.

[Lightning Bearer]

Defying Maud is a Sisyphean task in every sense of the term.

[YoshiFawful64]

“Well m-maybe... uh... I-I'll have some other pony write my life's story someday!”

Interesting... could this be where the idea for Scoots write this originated from?

Daring Do and the Maud Squad

[Tchernobog]

Or danced with the buffalo in the pale moonlight?!”

derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/1/3/201345__safe_solo_rainbow+dash_crossover_batman_the+joker_artist-colon-joelashimself.jpeg

[Leftover of Saikano]

Will we see Tirek's dunghole later in this story?

[Fishberry]

Some of you want romance.

Some of you want adventure.

I just do not want to see Romulus pursue our protagonists relentlessly for 150 chapters, drop from the plot for a while, and then slaughter a village full of very nice characters who have had enough character development for me to care about.

How about you guys?

I'm still traumatized, man!

[TwilightUCrazy]

“Oh for Tartarus' sake...” He sneered. “What are these damn ponies made out of?!” Schiiiiiing! He flew swiftly for the break in the wall, scimitar first. “Yaaaaaaaaugh—”

The adjacent corridor exploded from the other side, forcing a spray of sharp rocks and heavy stones to spill out. Romulus was nearly clipped in mid-air. He pulled his wings back, somersaulted, and bumped hard into the wall while shielding himself from the spray of pebbles. Once the ordeal was over, he snarled and punched the nearest slab of rock.

“Damn it to Tirek's dunghole!” He spat. “I've had it with this?!”

“Having some trouble down there, foghorn?!” slurred one of the thugs from above.

“Never you mind!” Romulus growled. As he heard the rattling of climbing equipment, he shot his beak up and yelled. “And bring some more damn explosives!”

[Sharp Quill]

5146516 I thought that was an in joke to something, but I couldn't figure it out. So obvious now that you point it out.

[RainbowJack2000]

Romulus and Daring Do and Trixie are really starting to piss me off.
This is all Lancie's fault! If he hadn't wanted to find all his damned missing shards, none of this would've happened! How many more are there, seriously?!

please write more

[Sheendough]

5148286 I think he said there were seven, so far she has four (five counting this one).

Edit: I'm wrong. It's one with the original antler, one with from the basilisk, one from the diamond dogs, this one and a 2x1 with Photo Finish.

[Future Regret]

So much slurring. Theres gotta be a gas leak In Ghent.

[Future Regret]

I'm tired ok.

[arancaytar]

“Well m-maybe... uh... I-I'll have some other pony write my life's story someday!” Rainbow's voice cracked. “And boy wouldn't you be eating them words!”

That poor fourth wall is taking a beating.

[arancaytar]

5147193

Yeah but that would never happen.

[arancaytar]

“Hey!” Daring beamed. “I just got the title for this book!” She spun and grinned at Rainbow Dash. “Daring Do and the Maud Squad! Eh? Eh? ” She grinned.

I mean it's no worse than naming it after a portmanteau of the names of you and your crush who is barely even in the story, Dashie.

[True Edge]

“Oh for Tartarus' sake...” He sneered. “What are thesedamn poniesmade out of?!”

Rainbows and Awesomeness, Giggles and Gumdrops, Magic and Egotism, Chitin and Carapaces and. . . . Uhh. . . . Rock.