Appledashery

by Just Essay

Take One Dash, Pass Her Around...

"Hrmmmmfff... heh... heheheheheheheh..." Rainbow Dash laughed so hard that the empty glasses by her muzzle rattled.

Vinyl blinked.

Bon Bon and Caramel winced.

Lyra sighed, smothed her bangs back, and muttered, "Okay. What's so funny?"

"Are you friggin' serious?" Rainbow Dash tilted her head up with a drooping smirk. "You wanna get me laid?"

"Well, not personally." Lyra swiveled the glass in her grasp, looking Rainbow over. "I prefer a mare with bigger... mmmf... everything."

"Jee. Thanks." Rainbow snorted. "Must be hard keeping that horn sharp when all you've got to cut it with is old Mustang Bolton records on repeat."

"Cute." Lyra took an empty sip and pointed. "Say, when you're done with those wings, I need another pile of trash to be carried west to Tartarus."

"Were you born that green or do you sleep on a pile of boogers."

Lyra opened her grinning muzzle to retort—

"Okay, stop." Bon Bon rested a hoof on her fetlock. She looked at Rainbow Dash. "Don't encourage her flirtations, Rainbow."

"The buck?" Lyra blinked. "Who says I'm flirting?"

Bon Bon smirked at her. "Lyra. I know you."

"Hmmmph." Lyra sat back down with a pout. "Like balls ya do..." She licked at her glass again.

"Really, though." Caramel smiled in Rainbow's direction. "Lyra's onto something."

"Pffft..." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Hopefully not me."

"A... change in interests would probably be very healthy for you, Rainbow."

Rainbow grimaced. "You don't actually endorse her disgusting idea, do ya, girl?"

"Well... uhm..." Caramel fidgeted. "I'm not a big fan of... gross sexual flings."

"That's an understatement," Lyra droned.

Caramel frowned, but he continued: "Still... pursuing another mare? Or just another pony in general?" He shrugged. "Could be healthy."

"Ugh..." Rainbow rubbed her head. "I don't see how."

"Because, Rainbow..." Bon Bon leaned forward with a smile. "All this time your heart has told you that there was only one mare for you in this life! Don't you know how... how unrealistic that can be?"

"Meh... I've been there."

"Indeed you have!" Bon Bon blinked. "We were there! We saw what... what..." She fidgeted slightly. "...what a bad relationship could do to a mare we all care for."

"Yyyyyeah..." Rainbow winced. "...not my proudest moment."

"But... but pining for a relationship that can never be is just as bad, don't you think? I mean... imagine in those dark days if you had settled for what you truly believed was your lot in life! You'd never have moved on!"

"Yes... because the place I moved onto was soooooo much better." Rainbow Dash sighed. "I hate to admit it, but hurricane Gilda was almost a breath of fresh air."

Bon Bon waved a forelimb. "There you have it!" She smiled. "On some deep level, you even admit that unexpected spontaneity can be refreshing!"

"Bon Bon... I am not about to repeat Gilda."

"And I'm not saying you have to, Rainbow!" Bon Bon exclaimed. "But... just... s-set sail!"

"Heh..."

"Go out into the open! Explore! Make yourself available to somepony that is real and caring! Not just an... amicable phantom!"

"Or... y'know..." Lyra yawned. "She could just get laid."

"Ugh..." Bon Bon slumped. "Lyra, must you?"

"Might I suggest something now?" Vinyl muttered.

"Enough time has gone by to make me almost forget what you said last," Rainbow muttered. "So shoot."

"Just... don't."

Rainbow looked over. "Don't what?"

"Don't everything." Vinyl scribbled and took notes, talking out the side of her muzzle. "Don't go after mares. Don't go after stallions. Don't go after Mustang Bolton."

"Heh... that's rich." Lyra swiveled and waved at the bartender. "Hit me once more, Nicodemus!"

"You're the awesomest, fastest, bravest pegasus to ever exist," Vinyl said. She shrugged. "Why complicate that with having to accomodate for a significant other? Don't you have career goals? Weren't you obsessed with the Wonderbolts at one time?"

"Vinyl, you just... don't get it. And that's fine." Rainbow shuddered. "As for the Wonderbolts, the jury's still out. But... to be perfectly honest? That all started with a chip on my shoulder and... a slight crush on the flight captain."

"You know, Rainbow." Caramel smiled. "If you weren't so hopeless, you'd be adorable."

"Nicest thing anypony's said to me all day."

"I'm serious, though." Vinyl pointed. "I'm all for this rediscover yourself advice, but... why does your future have to be romantic?"

"It doesn't have to involve romance... just..." Rainbow Dash hugged herself with a sigh. "Cuddles."

Vinyl sighed. "Ask not for whom the hug cuddles," she droned.

"Jee, Rainbow." Caramel giggled. "If you wanted cuddles, I'm just a table away!"

"Or a chairrrr!" Bon Bon leaned in to nuzzle her.

"Yeesh... cut it out." Rainbow shoved back. "It's... it's not the same..."

"Because you keep expecting the same!" Lyra growled. "Don't you get it! Just because you're good at speeding through trenches doesn't mean you have to be narrow-minded!" A fresh glass landed on her table. "Thanks, Judas." She cradled it in her fetlocks while bearing a serious gaze. "If you can't afford yourself a healthier dream, sunshine... then maybe you gotta let us old buddies do the dreaming for you?"

"Hmmmmm..." Rainbow tilted her head up. "...like how?"

Comments

[TIAS-A1927]

"It doesn't have to involve romance... just..." Rainbow Dash hugged herself with a sigh. "Cuddles."

See?? See?? He DOES enjoy making us suffer.

[RoboRed]

"Another shot of rum, Barabbas!"
"Thanks, Spartacus."
"Hit me once more, Nicodemus!"
"Thanks, Judas."

This is actually quite amusing.

[MidnightReflection]

"Because, Rainbow..." Bon Bon leaned forward with a smile. "All this time your heart has told you that there was only one mare for you in this life! Don't you know how... how unrealistic that can be?"

So, is this the part where we Skirts finally reveals that this whole story is actually going to be Rainbow having her own harem, but always wanting only Applejack, the one she can't win?

[Sam the Anti-Ninja]

Wow. so I'm guessing the plan is gonna be to drag Dash to Las Pegasus for an awkward weeklong fling with some random stranger. Two things come to mind: First, actual shipping is occurring. This is kinda surreal. Second, inb4 this whole thing implodes.

Also, I'm gonna just go ahead and get a list going on all the names they've used for that bartender.

[Aatxe360]

6984673

She goes there, she will run into that one past relationship that no one wants to speak of...(to be perfectly honest, I've forgotten the name)

[Phoenix Kitten]

6984685 Listing Breeze

[RoboRed]

6984685
Oooohhhh...that would be a good read.

[Salad king]

Oh god, she's going to listen to their dumb ideas.

[BronyInHiding]

I love how, even though she clearly doesn't consider them her real friends, her drinking buddies just accept Dash for who she is, welcome her back to their group, and try to help her.

Nothing gets you out of a heartbreak funk like a good rebound.

[CommanderCuddle]

6984654 Id probably stop reading if that happened

[CommanderCuddle]

6984829 Vinyl's idea was fairly logical

[CommanderCuddle]

With each new chapter this becomes less and less of an Appledash fic

[Salad king]

6984999 I don't think its really been one for around 700 chapters.

[zaponator]

How hilarious would it be if they never even go to Las Pegasus, and that line was entirely just a figure of speech?

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

6984635 Gee, what was your first clue on that?

6984999 So it would seem.

[LucyHorseThing]

Dang it.

[Leftover of Saikano]

I imagine Dash retelling all this to little Scootaloo, so she will narrate it years later.

[BabySkittleMonster]

Y'know, it's funny. My computer isn't letting me say any comments aside from thise containing emoticons, so all I'm seeing right now is a long line of 's and 's. I fins it amusing. I cannot see the words I'm typing. Forgive any verging-on-dyslexic spelling, please...

[Cotton Fluff]

Well, at least we've moved on from 'oh you're depressed? You should kill yourself' to 'lets distract you and hope you get over it'. I am a little surprised that Skirts went with these four to push Rainbow into taking the vacation, as she really doesn't seem to listen to them. However, Lyra and Vinyl would know how to have a good time on vacation and where to go. While she might listen to the rest of the mane six more, I doubt a vacation with them would be nearly as fun.

6984829
6984997
I wouldn't say that their ideas are dumb, Lyra's is perhaps the most impulsive and crude, but it would be a effective temporary stopgap for Rainbow's depression that might allow her to clear her head after a release of such tension and frustration. Bon Bon's idea is pretty much what Fluttershy has been pushing for. Vinyl's isn't that terrible either, though surprising coming from her, throw yourself into work and forget about your personal life - many people do it - but it's probably the least effective of the three.

6984654
That would be quite a twist, one that I could be ok with no AppleDash cuddles for.

6984673
Err... does a one night stand really count as shipping?
Also, agreed, it's great that no one knows (or cares) about the bartender's name

[CommanderCuddle]

6990279 Sleeping with a random stranger is never the solution to anything

[Salad king]

6984997 just wanted to voice that logical ideas are often the stupidest ideas that can exist.