Appledashery

by Just Essay

Leave a Trail of Lancie Crumbs

"But honestly, I can't tell." Lancie stood straight up on Rainbow Dash's flank, stretching his body out and examining his hips. "Granite? Or marble? Granite or marble? Which do you think I am? 'Cuz I'm fairly certain marble would mean I've put on weight. And it's been several centuries since I was ever anything close to resembling marble. I swear—it's all those half-eaten cupcakes you bring home from Sugarcube Corner."

"Meh."

"Is that 'meh' for 'no, Lancie, I think it's who you are on the inside that matters, and weight shaming is far overrated'?"

"Here." Droning, Rainbow tossed up the ruby stone. "Catch."

"Stone Temple Ponies!" Lancie exclaimed, nervously juggling and catching the stone. He hugged it to his chest, wincing, only for nothing to happen. "Uhmmm..."

"We're not being blown away," Rainbow said, gazing at the sparsely illuminated crags of rock around them. "The wind barricade enchantment doesn't reach down here. I wonder why that is."

"Ahem..." Lancie held the stone back out to the pegasus. "Sparky, at the risk of sounding hypocritical—have you lost your mind?"

"No. Just..." Rainbow grasped the glowing shard back from him and stared forward, sighing. "Everything about this place feels wrong. Why would the griffons make a tunnel detour? It sort of... disrupts the very purpose of having Spindel's Narrow in the first place."

"Maybe this was their vacation spot," Lancie mused. "Give it a few more paces, and we'll discover their spas and tanning beds."

"Lancie, this isn't a time to j—" Rainbow froze in place. She spun around, looking back the way they came.

Some of the shadows receded—or so she thought. Within seconds, everything was still and dead once again. The only movement was her flapping wings, and it sent a shudder through her cold bones.

"What is it?" Lancie asked.

"I... I'm not sure..." Rainbow gulped. She shone the light up, glancing left and right. "I thought I heard... heard..."

"Yes...?"

"... ... ...skittering."

"We are pretty deep below solid earth," Lancie said. "I doubt whatever lives at these depths is of the fluffy or fuzzy variety."

"Yeah, but this was loud skittering," Rainbow muttered. "Like hippopotamuses on stilts."

"Hippopotamuses on stilts." Lancie smiled. "I ought to write that down."

"For what?"

"Oh, y'know." He shrugged. "Memoirs."

"Hmmmmf... uh huh..." Rainbow glided forward yet again. "How many volumes will that be?"

"Too many," he mused. "Puberty alone will cover three hundred doorstoppers, thought I doubt anypony in their right mind will wanna read ten million words about me shaving my talon hairs and going through my 'pretty pretty princess' stage."

"Lancie, I've gotta ask..." Rainbow smirked slightly. "Did you ever... y'know... have friends in the past?"

Lancie blinked, his expression pale and blank.

"Cuz you talk about having been alived for thousands and thousands of years. So, y'know... statistics and all... you had to have taken on some kind of a posse or something, right?"

"Huh..."

"What? Are you shocked at the idea?"

"No. Just... that anypony would even ask that."

"Well, would you hate me for being even the slightest bit—" The two drifted into complete and utter darkness. "—curious?" Rainbow blinked, looking left and right.

"Well, this is new," Lancie remarked.

"Hold up." Rainbow held the ruby stone low, revealing the porous pale rock. "Floor's still here." She flapped her wings, lifting up, up, up. Ten seconds into her ascent, the ceiling appeared. "There's the top of the cave." She shone the stone left and right, but couldn't locate the walls. "Meh... we're in another cavern."

"Only—this time—it's not a wind blown one."

"Right..." Rainbow suddenly brightened. "Say! You know what I think?"

"Hmm?"

"This was probably a well of some sort! Yeah..." She glanced up at the statue. "You remember how wet and drippy it was up in Spindel's Narrow. Maybe the griffons—like—were afraid of the tiny passage getting flooded, so they carved out this place as a reservoir."

"I doubt that," Lancie said.

"Huh?"

"The walls—then—would be perfectly smooth and polished," he explained. "From countless eons of waterflow."

"Huh... for real?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"Wowsers, Lancie. That was... surprisingly smart and helpful."

"I'm not just here for good looks, girl."

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, well, if this isn't a well or a reservoir, then what else could it—?"

Something brushed past her ear hairs, followed by rampant skittering.

Rainbow gasped. She spun around with the beacon.

All was silent and still. She saw a floor of uneven, pockmarked rock. But nothing more.

"... ... ... ..." Rainbow stared and stared.

More skittering, this time from the opposite side.

Rainbow twirled again. Lancie clung tight for fear of being thrown off. Rainbow shone the light against the ceiling. She did so just in time to see a flake or two of pale rock—like plaster—falling down before her. As she observed this, she heard even more skittering—only it was coming from two directions, spreading in opposite directions and dying out to her left and right.

And then, once again, silence.

"Sparky...?"

Rainbow gulped. "Yeah, Lancie?"

"If I was a puny, fragile mortal," he muttered. "I would venture upon returning to Spindel's Narrow far above us."

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, Lancie..."

"... ... ...perhaps we should venture upon returning to Spindel's Narrow far above us?"

"Right..." Rainbow turned and turned some more. "Only... there's one problem."

"And what's that?"

Rainbow bit her lip. "Uhm..." She shivered slightly, shining the light in every direction possible. All that loomed before her was blackness. "...from what direction did we enter this stinkin' place?"

Comments

[viofriedsevey]

Their banter is easily some of my favorite of anything I've read really, oh and it looks like your about to break the 400 like milestone!

[Lightning Bearer]

[FloydienSlip]

"Stone Temple Ponies!"

[Sam the Anti-Ninja]

Hmm, lost in a cave of what could be several thousand spider monsters, it's pitch black, and you have no idea which way is out.

...this is the part where they split up the team in most stories.

[Leftover of Saikano]

Big Creepy Crawlies!

[zaponator]

Called it! This really is just a longer rendition of Keep Calm and Flutter on. We just had the scene where Discord realizes that he's actually made a true friend, and he's as surprised as anyone.

...this makes me endlessly happy.

[Sarda]

Skittering, you say?

Sometimes I feel sorry for those who read this (or Austraeoh, for that matter) without having read the rest of Skirts' works.

[True Edge]

I’ll probably get over to the next chapter, and find someone’s already posted this, but I can’t resist. It seemed far to appropriate.

[berrytone]

I doubt anypony in their right mind will wanna read ten million words about me shaving my talon hairs and going through my 'pretty pretty princess' stage."

Looks like Skirts is going through this phase now