Appledashery

by Just Essay

Pillow Talk, The Musical

"Well, I sense something, alright," Lancie said, perched on the edge of Rainbow's dresser. "As a matter of fact, it was something that kept shifting and changing over time. While you were off in Southern Orangeville, I felt this persistent tickling on the back of my stone neck, as if several disparate pieces of myself were coming together for a chaotic jamboree."

"Can you... tell me a direction, at least?" Rainbow asked, drying her mane after a fresh shower.

"Mmmmm..." Lancie tapped his chin in thought. "What's the direction in which the golden rays of dawn pierce the horizon's foliage and invite you to fly permanently towards the sunrise in a spirit of boundless adventure and guile?"

"Erm..." Rainbow squatted on the bed, blinking. "East?"

"Yeah. The opposite of that."

Rainbow squinted. "The shards are all being collected to the west?"

"Yeah! There's the ticket!" Lancie chirped.

"But... like... where west?" Rainbow remarked. "And just how far?"

"Beats me, Sparky." Lancie hopped down to the floor and began pacing. "As I said, it's just a tickle. Wherever they're being gathered, they're a kidney stone's throw away. A kidney stone that's been shoved into a cannon and fired across a landscape with the moon's gravity, that is." His granite nostrils flared. The little statue glanced up at her. "And now you're telling me that batpony and newspaperpony have got a fix on them?"

Rainbow nodded, flapping her wings and leaning her head back to dry her mane. "Apparently Noir's buddies have been following Aatxe's minions from afar."

"The Big Bad Dragon, right?"

"Yeah. Big Boss."

"That isn't ominous or anything."

"Anyways, they've supposedly gathered most if not all the rest of the pieces of... erm... you."

"Well, splendid!" Lancie grinned with a prominent stone fang. "When do we go?"

Rainbow frowned at him. "Maybe you didn't pay attention to the 'huge conglomerate of mother-buckin' dragons' part."

"Yes? And?" Lancie gestured. "Just get me to the shards! If they're indeed the rest of the remaining pieces, that's such a sizable bounty that—heck!—I bet I could pull the entire darn moon down with one tug! I bet Princess Frecklestasia would dig that! But... y'know... what's an apple mare to do with that much cheese?"

"Ugh..." Rainbow shuddered. "Lay off the 'princess' jokes for a bit, will ya?"

"Sorries, Sparky." Lancie hopped back up to the bed and plopped down beside her. "I forgot that you were rather sensitive in the tiara-area."

"I'm fine. It's just... I almost lost her," Rainbow muttered. "I'm still... a bit confused on just how she got out."

"Didn't your lips do the magic?"

"And as much as I like to believe that... AJ doesn't remember a thing." Rainbow sighed. "And... maybe it's for the best."

"And you didn't wish for all of her ox carts to turn to gold," Lancie said. He pointed at the black goblet resting on the bedside table. "Instead, you requested an annual pass to chaperonville. I'm detecting a goofy pattern here."

"Not goofy, Lancie."

"Then what is it?"

"I... I'm starting to feel that... the crazier... nuttier things I do for Applejack, the wilder this world gets. I mean... I've seen things and I've been exposed to stuff that I've had no business getting involved with."

"And do you regret any of that?"

"Heck, no!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "It's obvious that I was in all of the right places at all of the right times! But... still... everything I've ever started doing for Applejack... I've ended up doing for everypony else..."

Lancie slowly nodded. "You do realize that any other pony would have just wished for alicorn wings from the start."

Rainbow looked at him.

He smirked and folded his stone arms. "Well... I realize that any other pony would have just wished for alicorn wings."

"I need to stop fooling myself, Lancie," Rainbow said. "My love for Applejack will always be my love for Applejack. Going out on a limb for her... isn't going to change that." She gulped. "Some way or another, the wish is going to be granted for anything but getting us closer together."

"Well, I could have told you that, Sparky," Lancie said. "But why?"

Rainbow slowly shook her head. "Because anything that isn't what it is... wouldn't be real..."

Silence.

"Does... does this mean that you're giving up on the shards, girl?" Lancie muttered.

"No. I dunno. I mean..." Rainbow facehoofed, groaning. "Of course not! I made a promise to you, didn't I?"

Lancie blinked.

"And... Aatxe and his freaky pals have no business hoarding all of that junk," Rainbow muttered. "Now that I know what's real... I-I just can't stand by and let them keep it."

"No." Lancie gulped. "Of course you can't."

"But... like... I-I gotta think stuff out, y'know?" Rainbow muttered, plopping down and laying her head on her pillow. "I've got a lot of stuff on my mind."

"Jee..." Lancie smiled sweetly, plopping down himself. "Ya think?"

"Just... gotta touch base first..." Rainbow exhaled, her eyes fluttering shut. "...gotta touch base with my friends."

"And what about apple pony?"

"Mmmmmm..." Rainbow smiled deliriously as sleep took her. "...dreams..."

Comments

[RoboRed]

"What's the direction in which the golden rays of dawn pierce the horizon's foliage and invite you to fly permanently towards the sunrise in a spirit of boundless adventure and guile?"
"Erm..." Rainbow squatted on the bed, blinking. "East?"

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyep. There it is, folks.

[viofriedsevey]

Fuck yeah, more slice of life comin' right up.

[Lightning Bearer]

Seems the fire that's been keeping Rainbow going is starting to gutter.

And there just happens to be a raging river of lighter fluid pouring this way. Aatxe's gonna cut a little too close to the bone, and then he's gonna have a pegasus flying motherfucking west toward his scaly backside.

[314]

0/10 Worst fic. Rainbow Dash flies west.

[Cotton Fluff]

"Just... gotta touch base first..." Rainbow exhaled, her eyes fluttering shut. "...gotta touch base with my friends."

Will be nice to see what the other mane 5 have been up to while Rainbow's been adventuring.

5979548
I'd still read it, whole 'nother side of the world to be had!

[Autumn Rush]

"Mmmmm..." Lancie tapped his chin in thought. "What's the direction in which the golden rays of dawn pierce the horizon's foliage and invite you to fly permanently towards the sunrise in a spirit of boundless adventure and guile?"

"Erm..." Rainbow squatted on the bed, blinking. "East?"

Hiss Screech Hiss

Rainbow squinted. "The shards are all being collected to the west?"

"Yeah! There's the ticket!" Lancie chirped.

"But... like... where west?" Rainbow remarked. "And just how far?"

"Beats me, Sparky." Lancie hopped down to the floor and began pacing. "As I said, it's just a tickle. Wherever they're being gathered, they're a kidney stone's throw away. A kidney stone that's been shoved into a cannon and fired across a landscape with the moon's gravity, that is."

Soooo is this about to slightly become an reverse/alternate Austraeoh?

[YoshiFawful64]

Lancie slowly nodded. "You do realize that any other pony would have just wished for alicorn wings from the start."

inb4 Larson jokes.

[zaponator]

Gawd I love Lancie...

Anyway, look at how Rainbow Dash can actually discuss her love of Applejack aloud without stuttering and blushing over every second word. She's grown, I tell ya!

[Fantasy Law]

"Jee..." Lancie smiled sweetly, plopping down himself. "Ya think?"

Hm.
I've been wondering this for a while now, but do any of you think Lancie might be falling in love with Rainbow?

[Sam the Anti-Ninja]

5979331 shameless reference is shameless

[BabySkittleMonster]

5980527
... I love you so much right now that it isn't realistic. Thank you for making that comment. But then the AppleDash wouldn't happen! No! We can't win!

[Fantasy Law]

5981891
Dammit
But...
Dammit ;3;

[DrEggnog]

I love the way the themes of the Cider Princess arc have carried over and what Rainbow has learned from the experience. It wasn't just a bunch of crazy stuff that happened, it has weight.

[Seraphimus]

7053871 That I think is the one thing that Skirts excels at with writing. Actions have consequences and those consequences have weight. When dash learns a lesson, both in this story and austraeoh and his other characters in other tales... It means something. It isn't a fleeting moment to be forgotten to set up the next arc.

[arancaytar]

"Mmmmm..." Lancie tapped his chin in thought. "What's the direction in which the golden rays of dawn pierce the horizon's foliage and invite you to fly permanently towards the sunrise in a spirit of boundless adventure and guile?"

"Erm..." Rainbow squatted on the bed, blinking. "East?"

Oh you

Now get ready for

Rainbow Dash Flies West.

[arancaytar]

Bad Dragon

Skirts

No

Instead, you requested an annual pass

Yes I see the thing you did.

[arancaytar]

Lancie slowly nodded. "You do realize that any other pony would have just wished for alicorn wings from the start."

Silly Discord, what's Dashie supposed to do with another pair of wings? She should wish for an alicorn horn!

[berrytone]

I went east, so far east I was in the upside down with no chapters left. Now I'm here, dashing apples. So, sure, let's go west