Appledashery

by Just Essay

"That's my secret, Blue Jay. I'm always stupid."

While gyrocopters streamed ahead, circling the clock tower from all sides, droves upon droves of uniformed ponies with steam-powered rifles filled the adjacent city streets and platforms. Meanwhile, a single vehicle rolled forward, running off an internal combustion engine. The cabin doors opened, and Flim and Flam leaned out, glaring up at the tower while the wagon rolled to a stop.

"Crkkkk!" Sound crackled out of a megaphone in Flam's grasp. He gave the apparatus shake, then barked through the mic: "Blue Jay! We know you have the heir to Philanthropy in your putrid hiding spot! Give up the Cider Princess at once! Or else!"

"Are you serious, dear brother?" Flim asked, peering over the top of the wagon. "You're actually going to negotiate with these neer-do-wacks?"

Flam held a hoof over the megaphone's mic. "Of course not, Flamaroo. But it's best that they not expect the volley of burning steam death."

"Ah." Flim nodded. "Brilliant!"

"Bombs are always brilliant." Flam glanced aside, gestured at a group of officers, then brought his mustached muzzle back to the megaphone. "This is your final warning..."

Meanwhile, three separate groups of ponies worked as a group, preparing a series of steam-powered mortar cannons.

---

"...out with the cider lass or out with your organs!" Flam's voice echoed.

"Ohhhhh cow cookies!" Mulia Mild whimpered. "It's over! We're dream food! Soon to be nightmare sprinkles!"

"Don't steal all the 'sprinkles' metaphors!" Donut Joe's voice cracked. "I wanna die with an ounce of charm, lady!"

"Oh, they might kill the ponies in our group—but I just know they're going to stuff me and prop my body in the corner of a library!" Gustave Le Grande wailed.

"Will everypony just calm down?!" Rainbow Dash barked, pacing between Epcot and Apple Jewell. "We can... uhhh... we c-can still make it out of this!"

"How?!" Joe growled. He pointed wildly at the swarm of gyrocopters circling the tower. "I mean... for real... how?!"

Apple Jewell coughed daintily. "Again, I'm quite certain a great deal of mercy would be shown if you simply gave yourselves in—"

"Oh stuff it!" Gustave frowned beneath his beak. "You're the reason we're in this mess!"

"Hey, lay off!" Rainbow snarled in the griffon's face, making the cook cower with shivering feathers. "It's not her fault! She isn't even herself right now!"

"Yeah?" Joe frowned from the side. "Maybe you shoulda thought of that before you risked all our... guh... s-soul shells in a crazy attempt to rescue her!"

"Everypony... please..." Stu Leaves pleaded from the edge of the translucent walls. "Can we please stop biting each other's heads off?! We've got worse things to deal with."

Epcot suddenly gasped, her purple pupils shrinking. "I think the time to deal with it was about three seconds ago."

Everypony heard a distinct whistling noise. They looked up to see a barrage of explosives sailing their way, trailing smoke and exhaust.

"But... but..." Stu Leaves stammered, lip quivering. "...their Princess is in this tower too!"

"Never underestimate the power of crazy," Rainbow said.

"Hit the deck!" Donut Joe shouted, shoving Mulia and Gustave to the floor with him.

Epcot turned into a steaming ball while, Rainbow Dash galloped for a yelping Apple Jewell.

Panting, Stu looked every which way. He spotted his Red Rook armor, then dashed straight for it—

POWWW! The shells hit.

"Gaaah!" Stu shrieked, his body flying forward under a spray of burning mortar.

---

Everypony watched from the outside as the tower collapsed, falling straight down in a cloud of dust and steam. Uniformed equines gawked. Citizens watched from balconies several blocks away, eyes wide and lungs frozen.

As the gyrocopters gave the scene a wide berth, Flim and Flam stepped out of their wagon, trotting forward and shielding themselves from the ensuing debris cloud. Once the chaos had finally silenced, Flim shifted nervously.

"A bit overdone, don't you think, brother?"

Flam smirked. "Wait for it..."

A final layer of dust cleared, and the group could see a familiar freckled pony standing atop a hill of debris, virtually untouched. A glowing aura emanated from her crown. Apple Jewell trotted in a circle, looking all around as a sphere of energy slowly faded. The bodies of Rainbow Dash, Mulia Mild, Donut Joe, and Gustave Le Grande laid around her.

Flam glanced aside at Flim, smiling.

"Oooooh..." Flim grinned. "Magical Protective Tiara! I love Princess Tech!"

"Don't we all, ol' chum?" Flam turned towards the gathered officers, then gestured at the ruined pile of the former tower.

The ponies nodded back and trotted forward.

---

"Mmmff... grnnngh..." Rainbow Dash stirred, wincing. "Stu... Epcot..." Her eyes fluttered open, and she gasped. "Applejack!" She tried hopping up to her hooves—only to jerk to a stop, collapsing. "Guh!" She looked aside to see that a huge chunk of concrete was pinning her artificial wing to the ground. "Dang it! Stu?! Epcot?! Speak to me! Where are you guys?"

"Let it go, Blue Jay."

Rainbow Dash looked up, muzzle agape.

Apple Jewell gazed calmly upon the mare while soldiers closed in from all sides. "I can respect a certain nobility 'bout yer ways, even charm. But simply t'ain't yer place to decide my destiny. Tomorrow mornin', I'm bein' coronated. You could have been a loyal servant of Philanthropy." Apple Jewell sighed. "It's a cryin' shame..."

Rainbow gritted her teeth, seething. "The only shame here... is how loss they've made you."

"It's family, Blue Jay," Apple Jewell said. "You wouldn't understand."

"I understand plenty!" Rainbow snarled. "Family is built on honesty, love, and respect! Not steam and bullets!" Her eyes narrowed. "You taught me that. Applejack."

Apple Jewell's lips pursed. Her freckles disappeared in a pale expression as she gazed off past the smoke and dust.

The soldiers came closer, their hooves crunching through glass and rubble.

"Mrnnngh... grnnngh!" Rainbow yanked and fought and struggled to pull herself free. Gustave, Joe, and Mulia stirred painfully, gradually coming to.

Apple Jewell bit her lip. She turned her head towards the officers. "Wait! Everypony, please! Stand down..."

They kept marching forward, guns trained on the group.

"I mean it!" Apple Jewell frowned, waving a hoof. "I am yer Cider Princess and I'm orderin you to stand—"

SMASSSSH!

Apple Jewell fell back with a shriek, landing against Rainbow Dash. "...down!" the Princess wheezed.

Rainbow Dash gawked past her, watching as a metal monstrosity burst up out of the ground. Whirring and spitting up steam, the Red Rook emerged, looming above the breathless officers.

Flim and Flam's eyes widened from a distance.

"Grnnngh!" Whirrrrr! Ch-Chtungg! Stu Leaves leaned his mech up, the joints grinding as the bruised pegasus inside glared out at the group. He stood between the officers and the group of bruised dreamers. "You know..." He spat some blood out and wiped his soot-stained chin on his shoulder. "...I don't get angry often, but when I do..."

The entire platform shook as he thundered across the concrete, charging the hapless soldiers.

Stomp stomp stomp stomp!

"Rrrr-RAAAAAAUGH!" Stu bellowed as he swung his first punch, sending bodies flying in a concussive wave of steam and metal.

Comments

[RoboRed]

...Dayum....never thought I'd be rooting for Stu like this...

...FUCK EM UP, BOI!!

[viofriedsevey]

Aww hell yeah, were coming up to an epic climax featuring an epic ass woopin! And I gotta say, I fuckin lost it at the title! Haha. Also, does anyone know if Skirts, (or essay) has ever responded to a comment on this story?

[Sharp Quill]

5765944 Don't hold your breath.

[Lightning Bearer]

badbooksgoodtimes.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/rejoicing.gif

[zaponator]

Hey, remember when everyone hated Stu?
People are silly.

[Sam the Anti-Ninja]

5765944 As far as I know, JE/SS&E/IC never directly responds to comments. He's cryptic as a labyrinth on the dark side of the moon. (And it's magnificent.)

[Shipmun]

Uh oh Rainbow, don't you know
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/234/8/7/Chicks_dig_giant_robots_by_JodyPSchaeffer.png

Better turn it up a notch, 'cause Stu's lookin' pretty BA from down here.

[Mister Saxon]

5766634 As far as I know, Skirts refrains from commenting on his stories (I'm not gonna take the time to go through every story to check, but there's probably a couple here and there), JE has never commented on Appledashery, and IC has commented twice on the Austraeoh series (one comment was deleted before anyone saw it).

[Autumn Rush]

You go, Stu!

"I understand plenty!" Rainbow snarled. "Family is built on honesty, love, and respect! Not steam and bullets!" Her eyes narrowed. "You taught me that. Applejack."

Apple Jewell's lips pursed. Her freckles disappeared in a pale expression as she gazed off past the smoke and dust.

I could be wrong, but I think she almost got through to AJ for just a second there.

[Salad king]

I like stu again!.....again.....

[Fishberry]

5766455

Pff. I didn't.

I was the only one sticking up for him. I always said he seems like a good pony.

[YoshiFawful64]

"That's my secret, Blue Jay. I'm always stupid."

Well, that's good to know. After all, only stupid plans work.
5767679
Hey, me too! I wasn't all that vocal about it, though (and I did rage a little when we found out he was coming on the roadtrip, but I think that's somewhat justified).

[Seraphimus]

5769052 Stu confused me more than anything. He was hard to form an opinion of at first, But I grew to like him quickly and well... He's only gotten better since.

[arancaytar]

POWWW! The shells hit.

I frigging hate Shells.

... and here I was about ready to fear for Stu's life.

[arancaytar]

5766851

 IC has commented twice on the Austraeoh series (one comment was deleted before anyone saw it).

Now I'm really curious; what's the other comment? I only saw the deleted one, as far as I'm aware.

[SnowOriole]

"I understand plenty! " Rainbow snarled. "Family is built on honesty, love, and respect! Not steam and bullets!" Her eyes narrowed. " You taught me that. Applejack ."

I teared up. 这是什么神仙爱情