Appledashery

by Just Essay

King Me

Rainbow Dash strolled through the Cracker Buck gift shop. Between a fuzzy belly full of breakfast eats and the constant warble of old country record music, the mare felt weary in the head, as if she was enduring and out-of-body experience. She distracted herself by gazing at the plethora of novelty gifts and tacky toys hanging all around her. At some point, she wandered past a fake plastic tree adorned from top to bottom with shiny tinsel and goofy ornaments.

"It's not even friggin' Hearth's Warming," she grumbled.

At some point, she stumbled upon a table where a tiny checkerboard blanket had been draped over. For a while, Rainbow didn't know what she was staring at until she saw stupidly large plastic discs of red and black sitting randomly atop the blanket.

"Oh... I get it..."

Sighing lethargically to herself, she found herself obsessive-compulsively arranging the large checkerboard pieces across the black and white squares so that it looked like the start of an actual game. She was nearly done when a brown hoof reached in, plopping the last three pieces in place.

Rainbow glanced up.

Stu Leaves smiled. "Whoever was here last only got halfway through their game. Don't you hate it when they don't put it all back together? Heheh..."

"Whatever," Rainbow muttered. "Don't mind me. I saw it in disarray and spontaneously felt like pulling a Twilight."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." Rainbow shook her head. "Where's AJ?"

"She dashed to the fillies' room," Stu said with a shrug. "Had to go powder her nose, or whatever it is that lady-ponies do that takes so dang long in there."

Rainbow Dash inexplicably giggled. "Do you even hear yourself? Applejack never... ever 'powders her nose.'"

"Well, with freckles like that..."

"What?" Rainbow squinted. "What about the freckles?"

Stu shrugged with an innocent smirk. "I'd show them off any way I could, y'know?"

Rainbow glared and glared.

Stu, meanwhile, was stifling a yawn. "I already paid the check at the front." He scratched his chin while squinting across the noisy, garish gift shop. "Guess it's just a waiting game now."

"Uh huh." Rainbow said, staring blankly at the checkerboard cloth.

"Gotta hoof it to this place... they can serve up a terrific breakfast! Heheh! You think?"

"Sure..." Rainbow grumbled. "Keep thinking."

Suddenly, Stu moved a checkerpiece diagonally across one square.

Rainbow blinked. She looked up at Stu.

Stu smiled.

"Are you for real?" Rainbow squinted. "You wanna challenge me?"

"Why not?" Stu shrugged. "It'd be a shame to stand here and do nothing."

"Yeah, but..." Rainbow cocked her head to the side. "Me? You're challenging me?"

"Hey, if checkers isn't your bag, then I'll gladly forfeit before starting—" Stu started to back up.

"No-no-no-no-no-no..." Rainbow waved a hoof. Slowly, she bore a devilish smirk. "Since you're so keen on writing checks..."

"Heh. It's just a friendly game, Rainbow."

"Uh huh." Rainbow picked up a piece from her side and slapped it down onto the cloth one square from his. "Hah! Let's get it on!"

"Hmmm..." Stu rubbed his chin.

"What do you mean 'hmmm?'" Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "You in or aren't you?"

"Oh. Definitely. Definitely." Stu moved a piece forward. "Whew. It's been ages. I haven't played checkes since grade school!"

"Yeah!" Rainbow smirked as he hopped a disc over his piece, taking it. "And it shows!"

"Heheheh..." Stu smiled as he moved another piece forward. "I guess I just never found the time to practice."

"Well..." Rainbow took another piece of Stu's. Over the next two or three lightning fast moves, she was slowly advancing towards his side of the board. "You know what they say about 'practice making perfect.' Not everypony can afford to be on the top of the mountain, Mr. Leaves."

"I guess that's the advantage of having a spiffy set of wings," he said with a chuckle. "You can fly up there at any given moment!"

"Are you saying that I cheat?"

"Not at all, Miss Dash! You're just good at what you do!"

"Dang straight!" Rainbow took another piece of his, grinning at the stack of discs on her side of the table. "And it's about time you found out—"

In one single move, Stu calmly took four of Rainbow's pieces before setting them neatly on his side of the table.

Rainbow froze in place, her jaw dropped.

"Your turn." Stu looked up at her. He chuckled, wings twitching. "Oh, I can't pretend to hope. I just bet you're strategizing a way to pulverize me as we speak."

"Yeah..." Rainbow shuddered, her muzzle pale as her wings drooped. "I'm a regular Stallion Hawking..." She gulped.

"Heheheh... Applejack's lucky to be surrounded by confident mares—"

Rainbow nervously moved a piece forward.

"—like... you." Stu blinked.

"Wh-what?" Rainbow stammered.

"Oh, uhm... it's just..." He reached his hoof towards a piece, lingered, then removed it. "Erm... n-nothing..."

"Are you holding back?"

"What?! Uhhhh... erm... I-I just..."

Rainbow frowned. "Don't you friggin' dare hold back! That's a totally uncool way to play!"

Stu bit his lip, shrugged, and pressed his hoof to the piece again. With two quick hops, he took out another pair of Rainbow's pieces.

The mare winced, teeth gritting.

Stu added to his stack. He gulped, producing a nervous smile. "Uh... king me."

"H-huh?"

"One of my pieces reached the edge of your side of the board. You gotta put one of my discs on top of him."

"What for?"

"Well... b-because he can now move both ways across the board."

"He can do that?!" Rainbow's voice cracked.

---

Minutes later, Applejack trotted across the gift shop.

"Whew!" She exhaled, rubbing her belly. "That's the last time I pour on that much syrup on my dag-blame'd pancakes!" She smiled as he approached the checkerboard table. "I swear to Celestia, I was groanin' more than Big Mac at an armadillo-callin' contest..." Her words teetered off. "Uhm... whatcha all doin'?"

"Oh! Applejack!" Stu Leaves looked up, grinning nervously. "You're back! We were... uh... just finishing—"

"No we were not," Rainbow snarled. She hovered in place, hugging herself with stooped shoulders. Before her, the checkerboard blanket was a barren wasteland with only one of Rainbow's pieces stuck in a sea of all six of Stu's. "This game isn't over. Not yet."

"Whew!" Applejack whistled. "Looks like an excitin' bout! Were you goin' at it the whole time I was indisposed?"

"Oh, sure!" Stu said. He fidgeted. "As well as the th-three games before it."

"Three games?!" Applejack blinked crookedly.

"Rainbow Dash has a very unique strategy!"

"Yeah. Well. Is it a winnin' one?"

Stu blanched, squirming awkwardly. "Erm..."

"Stop delaying," Rainbow grunted. "It's your move, bucko."

"I... uh..." Stu smiled nervously. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Rainbow hissed, wings flapping faster. "Now take your turn already!"

"We really need to be makin' our way towards Atlantrot," Applejack said.

"Uhhh... Rainbow? Applejack says we need to be heading out towards Atlantrot—"

"Then stop holding your horses and make a move already!"

Stu sighed long and hard. "Alright..." He trotted back towards the table and moved a piece. "There ya go—"

"Ah HA!" Rainbow Dash suddenly grinned, immediately hopping a piece over his and claiming it. "Thought I was down for the count, didn't ya?!"

Stu cleared his throated, grabbed a kinged piece, and eliminated Rainbow's last disc.

Rainbow grimaced so hard her teeth almost fell out.

"Alrighty then!" Applejack melodically chirped. "So, shall we get the wagon's a-rollin'!"

"No friggin' way!" Rainbow Dash barked. "I-I feel my stride coming back! I can win the next one for sure!"

"The n-next one?" Stu wheezed.

"Rainbow..." Applejack frowned. "For real, now, darlin'. We gotta git goin'!"

"But... but..." Rainbow Dash gestured at the table. "Checkers!"

"I'm sorry, darlin', but Orlandoats isn't gonna trot to us!" Applejack said. "Now, it was a mighty nice breakfast n'all, but times-a-wastin'!"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Rainbow Dash!" Stu Leaves said, smiling nervously. "You can't win all the time!"

Applejack was already wincing. She hid her face beneath her hat, peeking out with a twitching eye.

Rainbow Dash glared and fumed.

---

"Ahem..." Stu Leaves brushed a hoof through his wind-swept bangs. "King me."

"Again?!" Rainbow squawked, sitting with him in the back of the wagon with the checker-blanket kit she had bought at the gift shop hours ago. "Oh come on!"

"I-I'm afraid so, Rainbow!" He chuckled. "I swear, I'm not actually trying that hard—"

"Oh, don't you go on and say that!"

"But it's the honest truth—"

"Either give me your all or give me nothing!"

"Alright! Alright!" He cleared his throat. "Uhhh... b-best out of seventeen?" He smiled awkwardly.

"I'm gonna smoke you so hard..." Rainbow rubbed her hooves together, glaring down at the blanket.

"I-I've no doubt of it. Eheheheh..."

Meanwhile, Applejack pulled the wagon, glancing worriedly over her shoulder. She blinked, then glanced forward as she carried the cart down the highway.

"Whelp... foals will be foals..." And she bore a freckled smirk as the noonday sun lit their path.

Comments

[TwilightUCrazy]

"I-I'm afraid so, Rainbow!" He chuckled. "I swear, I'm not actually trying that hard—"

"Oh, don't you go on and say that!"

"But it's the honest truth—"

"Either give me your all or give me nothing!"

"Alright! Alright!" He cleared his throat. "Uhhh... b-best out of seventeen?" He smiled awkwardly.

"I'm gonna smoke you so hard..."

...I've GOT IT!

Rainbow! Call the police! Rape is illegal!

[RainbowJack2000]

"Heheheh... Applejack's lucky to be surrounded by confident mares—"
Rainbow nervously moved a piece forward.
"—like... you." Stu blinked.
"Wh-what?" Rainbow stammered.
"Oh, uhm... it's just..." He reached his hoof towards a piece, lingered, then removed it. "Erm... n-nothing..."

This arsehole/asshole better finish what the fuck he just stuttered, because I want to know what the hell was going on at that moment!

[Autumn Rush]

I don't eat at Cracker Barrel often (maybe once a year, if that), but my favorite part of going has always been looking around the gift shop and sure enough, finding someone to completely pulverize at checkers.

[Sharp Quill]

"Yeah..." Rainbow shuddered, her muzzle pale as her wings drooped. "I'm a regular Stallion Hawking..." She gulped.

If you were a regular Twilight Sparkle, at least you would know the full rules of the game.

[Lord Dragon]

5335396 He knows...

[Lightning Bearer]

I guess this'll keep Rainbow distracted. And who knows, she might actually warm up to Stu at this rate.

"Whew!" She exhaled, rubbing her belly. "That's the last time I pour on that much syrup on my dag-blame'd pancakes!" She smiled as he approached the checkerboard table. "I swear to Celestia, I was groanin' more than Big Mac at an armadillo-callin' contest..."

Holy cow, Applejack. Can you not?

[Aatxe360]

5335147
5335396

You saw something I missed. Who is Stu going for? Applejack or Rainbow? If he's going after Rainbow, I hope he does drown. No one teases Applejack like that.

Maybe he's trying for either one of them? Maybe he's just stupendously fabulous?

Both? Would Rainbow actually accept that or would she rather pine for Applejack on her lonesome?

[Edit] : I just realized I didn't read the last chapter until now. That's how I missed it.

[RainbowJack2000]

5335975
Well, if he goes for either one, I hope he does drown, that no good son of a bitch. Ever since he popped into the damned story to begin with. Still don't like him...I actually hate him to be honest.

Nothing gets in the way between my AppleDash! NOTHING!!!

[Shipmun]

Ahh yes. Cracker Barrel. Checkers.

What wonderful fun! Unless you're RD and have no clue what strategy is. Stu, if you can teach RD some strategy I might stop hating you. Maybe. Okay hate you slightly less. Probably not enough to drown you?

iunno

[BabySkittleMonster]

Stu is the Gary Stu we all love to hate. And drown. We really love drowning him.

[Salad king]

He knows! HE KnOoOoOoWs!

[Leftover of Saikano]

Ah, a lot happened in a chapter where nothing happened.

I still enjoy people professing their hate for Stu even if he has done nothing bad, and in other chapters say they like Lancie, who we know is Discord.

[Fishberry]

I like Stew. I just think there's much more to him than meets the eye.

What if the reason he's being so familiar with AJ is because he wants to appeal to RD? Just a thought.

It's also possible he's just an all-around friendly pony.

[zaponator]

Mmm, good old fashioned cuteness.

[DrEggnog]

"Whew!" She exhaled, rubbing her belly. "That's the last time I pour on that much syrup on my dag-blame'd pancakes!" She smiled as he approached the checkerboard table. "I swear to Celestia, I was groanin' more than Big Mac at an armadillo-callin' contest..."

images.sodahead.com/polls/002671345/1236909355_tmi_answer_3_xlarge.gif

[Dash32]

"But... but..." Rainbow Dash gestured at the table. "Checkers!"
Oh rainbow dash.....you never cease you to amaze me.

[arancaytar]

"Not at all, Miss Dash! You're just good at what you do!"

Maybe Stu really is trying to get with RD. It's why he went to Ponyville. (And AJ is shipping them.)

[Tea Leaves]

Okay... took the time without Austreaoh updates to read this beautiful monstrosity and of course it's the Cracker Barrel checkers that gets me commenting.

This isn't what I expected at all from this fic (was any of it, really?) and I'm loving it!!