Appledashery

by Just Essay

Where Everypony Knows Your Mane

Photo Finish gulped, gulped, gulped, gulped, gulped, gulped, exhaled, then slapped the steep glass down onto the bar counter. “Like I, Photo Finish, vas sayink...” Her body rocked on the stool as she withstood an inward belch, but fought it back down with a forelimb slapped over her blouse. “Ze enigmas of life are vat makes art so revardink. As artists, Fraulein Firefly, ve are in pursuit of enlightenment. Vezer ve find zis at ze end of a camera lenz or with ze shtroke of a paintbrush, ve are neferzeless tasked vith chasink truth, beauty, and ze magiks to ze end of ze earth... be zey located in Ekweshtria, or in ze exishtenshial brink of our sane minds!”

“Wow... that's—HIC!” Rainbow's eyes twitched, then reverted back to normal. She leaned precariously on the edge of her stool, grasping a champagne glass loosely in the crook of her hoof. “That's certainly deep. Like... really really... uhhhhh... uhhhhhhhhh... ... ...deep.”

“Ja. But it takes too much cursed time to express with ze vords!” Photo's muzzle scrunched beneath her shades. She motioned for the bartender to fill up her glass again. “Zat is why I use cameras and not typevriters! Bah! To Tartarus with zose infernal machines!”

“I wouldn't be so harsh, Fraulein Finish,” said Trenderhoof. He was two seats down, gazing at Rainbow the entire time with a dumb smile. He swiveled left and right on his stool as he said, “The written word has done more service for and against Equestrian society than the common pegasus polearm.” He leaned slightly closer, murmuring, “Have I mentioned how fascinatingly provocative I find the ancient warrior culture of pegasi?”

“Ach! Stopen sie vis ze vomitink of your magazine drivel!” Photo grasped a freshly-poured malt and aimed it down her throat. “Honestly! Vhat are you shtill doing here?”

“Simply admiring a most engaging and thought-provoking conversation,” Trenderhoof said. “You ladies have brought forth many intriguing notions to the table.”

“Yeah...HIC!” Rainbow squinted blearily. “You mean Photo Finish here has just filled my ears with rambling nonsense for two hours.”

“Mrmmmmfff...” Photo downed another glass, exhaled, and cocked her head to the side. “Vhat was zat?”

“Er... uhhh... uhm...” Rainbow fidgeted.

“Oh! I think Madame Firefly here has been waiting to share something deep of her own!” Trenderhoof smiled rosily. “By all means, darling. Do go on.”

“Uhm... er...” Rainbow Dash winced, nearly dropping her champagne glass. “Something... d-deep, huh?” She cleared her throat, staring off towards the far end of the Paint Bucket Flat. The party crowd had thinned considerably, and by that point Vinyl was playing a serene trance mix. From afar, the musician stole Rainbow a glance, shrugging.

“Vell? Don't be shy!” Photo leaned forward with a beaming grin. “I, Photo Finish, am sure zat her favorite companion of ze night has a most shtimulatink artistic notion to bestow!”

“Yeah... funny that you should ask that. 'Cuz...” Rainbow fidgeted. Suddenly, she blinked, and she raised a ponderous hoof slowly into the air. “You... uh... you guys know zebras, right?”

“Spinnst du? Of course I, Photo Finish, does!”

“What about them?” Trenderhoof asked.

Rainbow took a deep, deep breath. “...Hic!” Her head wobbled. “Do they ever dream in color?”

The bar fell dead silent.

Photo Finish leaned back so hard she nearly fell off her stool. “Liebe Güte!” She slapped her blue forehead. “How izzit I nefer vonce pondered zat?”

“For real?” Rainbow squinted at her. “Er... I mean...” She cleared her throat and leaned back, casually dangling one of her legs out from beneath her skirt. “For real! Pffft...” She puffed out her cheeks. “Took three whole generations of Awesometopian philosophes to think up that one!”

“How can I, Photo Finish, be so shtupid?!” The photographer gritted her teeth. “'Ze Color of Ze Zebra!' Zat would make for a most provocative gallery of black and white art! For surely ze zebraharan race has its own artistic slants zat go beyond ze need for colorific expression, ja?!”

“Hey...” Rainbow shrugged, leg-dangling. “Mystical zebras. Am I right?”

“Zis has never been explored before in ze Manehattan art scene! How could I not hafe foreseen this new opportunity for knowledge and expression?!” She turned towards Trenderhoof. “Hallo! Shparkles for ze brainz! Vhat do you sink? Vould ze popular audience cater to an art gallery with zebra expressionism as it's cornerstone?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...” Trenderhoof stared sweatily at Rainbow's leg.

Sneering, Photo slapped her empty glass down onto the bar counter. “Hey! Kumpel!”

“Huh? What?” Trenderhoof looked up with a jerk. “Zebras! Yes! Fantastic equines!” He smiled nervously. “Why, my brother has one for a best friend over in Detrot!”

“Eugh!” Photo rolled her eyes under her shades. “See, zis is why I am feeling so terribly suffocated! I am surrounded by zese idiots.” She then smiled. “Until now.” She swiveled around and leaned towards Rainbow. “Fraulein Firefly—or can Photo Finish just call you 'Firefly?'”

“Sure. HIC. Whatever.”

“Ich habe dich gern.” Photo beamed. “Truly, zere is somesing about you that fills meine heart with a spark of inspiration and purpose. I almost feel as if ve vere destined to cross paths zis night. After all, Celestia does not play dice vith ze uniferse.”

“And I almost feel... feel...” Rainbow hiccuped again. She raised her glass, squinting. “Just what the hay is in this cider, anyway?”

“That's what they call a Manehattan Candle,” Trenderhoof said with a smirk. “Bet they don't serve anything that hard among the exquisite nectars that you enjoy back in Awesometopia.”

“Hey, I love this stuff just fine.” Rainbow fought a belch, patting her chest, then brushing a hoof over her braided mane. “Just... n-not exactly fond of the huge hole it's boring through my brain bone.” Another hiccup; her eyes crossed. “Hooboy.”

“Awwwww... poor dear...” Photo patted her hoof. “I vill get ze bartender to make you somesink zat goes down softer.”

“That's awfully swell of you...”

“After all!” Trenderhoof shrugged with a smirk. “The party may be thinning, but the night's still young! We've got lots to talk about, and I haven't even begun to tell you about the stories I've been commissioned to write for Playcolt!”

“... ... ...” Rainbow raised her glass towards the bartender. “Hit me again,” she droned, eyes thin. “Better make it a double.”

“Wirklich?! Wonderbar!” Photo grinned wide and slapped her hooves together. “And you are so adfenturous too!”

“Heh... hey... best night of my—HIC—life...”

Comments

[Lord Dragon]

First again!

[Sheendough]

Goddamnit! When will she retrieve the shard? Oh wait, no. Ven vill she retreieven sie shard?!

[RoboRed]

Drunk Rainbow's gonna get into trouble...

[unknownbore]

4780228

[Scohinyha Sanka]

"To Tartarus with zose infernal machines!"

How ironic.

[Lightning Bearer]

Semi-drunk Rainbow being unintentionally sexy and unwittingly driving stallions wild is now one of my favorite things.

[HyperMonica]

You deserve one fine mustache for this chapter.

[Jay_Baker]

I love this book :)

[silverspawn]

doesn't she, like, want to get on with what she is here for? I don't really get what she's waiting for

[BabySkittleMonster]

This is only gonna end badly, I know it. Also, I was uncertain as to whether I should burst into laughter at that Zebra question, or honestly try to answer it. Hmm... Choices.

[Full-time_Introvert]

Uh-oh. drunk dash = shenanigans (the not good kind)

[LucyHorseThing]

Rainbow took a deep, deep breath. “...Hic!” Her head wobbled. “Do they ever dream in color?”

[Dash32]

4892198 you HAD to say shenanigans?! you immediately got me thinking of Super Troopers. “I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL PISTOL WHIP THE NEXT GUY THAT SAYS SHENANIGANS!” BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[bronyheat]

Zecora: "When I fall asleep at night, the sheep I dream of are indeed black and white."