Appledashery

by Just Essay

Dashoprhenically

Rainbow Dash didn't know how long she had been lying at the bottom of the canyon.

She shook, shivered, then stirred her limbs.

A thick sheath hung tightly off her petite frame. Struggling, grunting, she popped one hoof loose... then another. She shredded the papery outer skin apart, shrugging the flakes off with a flick of her tail. Trotting forward, she navigated the boneyard, exhaling blood bursts into the cosmic drift.

"But I can't... I just c-can't," she whimpered. She tilted her head up, squinting at the mouth of the canyon. "You're too awesome. And... and I'm just not awesome enough."

The rooftops of Ponyville loomed above her. She fell towards them, flipping, flapping her wings so that she glided safely onto grassy gnoll behind City Hall. As soon as she landed, the earth gave way, ripping to shreds beneath her like wet paper. Rainbow gasped, staring straight down into the gaping abyss where hundreds of beady foal eyes stared back up, waiting.

"Should... should have claimed me when I was just a kid." She gulped, backing up with a nervous shudder. Two cave spiders skittered past her limbs, but she ignored them, turning around. "It wasn't skill that made me last so long, Dad." She gulped. "It was luck."

"Mrmmfff..." Gilda rolled her eyes, leaning grumpily against the doorframe to Sugarcube Corner. "Always hogging it to yourself. Were you eventually going to tell me how weak you were, Dash?" She grumbled, throwing the door open for the mare. "Or is that another thing you had tucked between Listing's legs?"

Rainbow glanced at her while the floor slid her icily into Sugarcube Corner. Neon light flickered off her mane, and she tilted her head up, squinting.

The giant, mountain-sized figures of Lyra, Vinyl, Octavia, and Caramel laughed and drank around the bar table. No matter how quickly Rainbow Dash trotted towards them, she just became a smaller and smaller speck on the table-top. Soon, she was too tiny to even see the molecules that made up the marefriends' laughing teeth.

"I've drifted... drifted so far away from you guys..." She fought a lump down her throat, turning to look behind her flapping wings. Five colorful lumps slept soundly inside Twilight's parents' house, gliding further and further into the distance. The orange shape with freckles shimmered in the Canterlot nightlight. "That's not awesome," she shuddered. "That's not awesome at all."

WHAM! Her body slammed into a tall, granite statue.

Wincing, Rainbow spun above the Royal Gardens.

The floor was littered with stone shards. Each chunk of chaotic rock shook, wobbled, then grew eight spiny legs. The spiders spun about, leering at the mare.

Rainbow Dash backed away from them, gnashing her teeth. Schlunkkk! A crooked dagger ripped its way deep into her wing muscles. "Aaaaugh!"

Romulus gripped her from behind, snarling into the mare's twitching ear. "Caught up with you, ya pathetic loser!" He twisted the hilt of the dagger while his beak glistened in the fires of a Fillydelphia warehouse. "And I'm going to feed you to all your friends." He hissed. "Scrumptious... loyalty..."

"Rrrrgh—will you... buzz off?!" Rainbow grabbed hilt of the blade, twisted it, and opened the door wide open. She blinked, peering onto Serenity Shindig's arid lawn.

In the sweltering Fillyda sunlight, Stu Leaves sat in a slump, his wings drooped.

Rainbow gazed at him. "Stu...?"

"If you're not awesome enough..." He stood up, trotted over to the outhouse, and opened Silver Shill's mouth. "Then who else deserves her?" Guiltily, he trudged down the crazed stallion's throat.

"Stu, wait!" Rainbow Dash galloped towards him.

Epcot closed the door to the outhouse. The Experimental Chaperone stared at Rainbow Dash, smiling calmly.

Rainbow skidded to a stop, panting. "Epcot...?! How...?!" Spiders poured out of her mouth. She coughed, spat, and punched at them, reeling backwards across the crystalline bough before Fibb's headquarters. Cave rocks collapsed all around her, forming cracks in the translucent branches. Whimpering, she flashed frenzied looks to the left, then to the right.

Epcot was still standing there, smiling patiently.

"You're... you're st-still here?" Rainbow stammered, curling up in the corner of Zecora's hut. She looked up at the roof of her cloud home, then down at the Banner Guild apron clinging to her person. Swallowing a heavy lump, she murmured the Chaperone's way. "How come you're the one thing that's not changing?"

Epcot shrugged, squatting down to sit across from Rainbow inside Trixie's shack.

"You... you were my closest friend during my time in Cider Space." Rainbow's eyes darted back and forth as she sweated bullets. "Maybe... like... part of the real Epcot rubbed off and... stayed in my head." She looked up, lips quivering. "Is that you?"

Epcot only smiled wider, warm, proud.

Rainbow panted and panted. "Can... can you help me back to... back to where I belong?" She clenched her teeth. "If... if I can still think, then that's gotta mean the venom hasn't killed me. There's... there's still t-time to come back from all of this, right?"

Epcot didn't answer. She simply held a hoof out.

Nervously, Rainbow Dash reached out to grab it. Several spiders poured out of the night's sky and crawled all over Rainbow's leg, but she grunted and fought through them—finally making contact with the Chaperone's grip.

Epcot lifted Rainbow to her hooves. Then, gently, she trotted forward, leading the mare down rippling caverns of kaleidoscopic delirium.

Rainbow shuffled after her, shivering, body hunched over like a frightened little filly tailing her mother. She kept close as the wails of forgotten nightmares grew closer and closer.

Comments

[Aatxe360]

Hmm, just add those pieces of Princess AJ she found in Cider Space that one time and I think she'd lose it.

[michaelb958]

Chapter title would be better spelled 'Dashophrenically' rather than'Dashoprhenically'.

[zaponator]

It's gettin' weeeiiird.

[Nasty Mister Monket]

Yep, Epcot is still best pony.

[FloydienSlip]

This is getting trippy.

[Boop-Happy Lass]

'Tis gettin' weird and trippy, folks.

[arancaytar]

Yay, best pony to the rescue!