Appledashery

by Just Essay

Chaos Theory

"Well, Sparky, I hate to burst your loyalty bubble." Lancie lazily leaned back on the window sill to Rainbow's room. Starlight glinted off his gray stone skin. "But it's difficult to remove a type of venom that I've never ever come into contact with before."

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Rainbow's voice cracked. She paced back and forth across the small space between them. "What about Photo Finish?! You got her healed lickety split!"

"And she wasn't bitten by an extremely rare, nearly nonexistent viper," Lancie said. He sat up, his granite brow furrowed. "Although, her taste in fashion certainly looked like it got bitten by the Couture Black Widow—"

"No jokes!" Rainbow frowned viciously. "This is Applejack's little sister we're talking about. You've done crazy wizardry before. Why can't you do the same here?"

"Normally I'd be flattered by how much credit you're giving my powers." He gazed out the window and gestured with a talon. "But even someone as snazzy as me can't very well make something out of nothing... or turn nothing into something in order to become nothing again."

"Mmmfffnghhh..." Rainbow facehoofed. "Lancie, I'm grasping at straws here."

"A difficult prospect with hooves, I'm sure. Heheheheh—"

She thrust her frowning muzzle in his face. "Do you mean to say that you've never crossed paths with a Tartarusian Venomancer before?!"

"Trust me..." Lancie calmly pushed her away with a lone paw. "All my life, I've made it my personal mandate to avoid all things related to Tartarus." He shuddered. "Such a nasty place to drive through after dark."

Rainbow sighed again, plopping back on her haunches. "And here I was hoping you could save the day here..."

"However..." He raised a talon, gazing at her with a wry smirk. "You did mention something else that I have been in a great deal of contact with in the past. Some... sort of flower, was it?"

"Yes." Rainbow jerked towards him, eyes wide. "Iced lavender."

"Ah. So is that what ponies called them?"

"Do they have a different name in your day and age?"

"Yes. 'Damn Sneezies.' I about blew myself inside out in those eons," Lancie slurred. "Most fields north of the equine line were practically flooded with those blasted bright petals."

"So... since you knowledge of them..." Rainbow leaned forward, muzzle agape. "...you could recreate one?"

"Why? Aren't they at the local garden stand?"

She frowned. "They're friggin' extinct, Lancie, like you're gonna be if you drag your hooves any longer."

"Cute." Lancie leaned back. "Alas, just like ancient snake venom, I can't produce something out of nothing. But..." He folded his arms, smiling. "There's no saying that I can't deevolve a flower to the specimen you're seeking. All I need is a sample of a modern day lavender, and then—poof—you've got your Damned Sneezies."

"Consider it done!" Rainbow exclaimed. "I'll grab some flowers from somewhere, bring them here, and you can make the one cure Apple Bloom needs!"

"Whoah whoah whoah... let's not throw the pot of gold before the rainbow here, Sparky," Lancie said. "Everything's a matter of timing. Lest we forget, I'm out of juice here."

"Right..." Rainbow nodded. "How many shards do you need?"

"We're not talking about the usual hocus pocus here," Lancie said. "Recreating an extinct specimen of flowers? Especially one that's been M.I.A. for so long? Whew... that's a lob from downtown if I ever heard one!" He planted his hands on his stone hips. "No ma'am... this is gonna take more than a flippant visit to cyclical plot hole land. If we want the power to make this happen, we're going to need all my power."

"So... not just one or two of the shards..." Rainbow's eyes narrowed. "But all of the shards."

"Warm... warmer... scalding..."

Rainbow gulped, wings drooping. "Aatxe..."

"Bridle on fire." Lancie nodded. "The dragon's Big Boss has all that's left. I've told you this before."

"And... and you d-don't sense any other shards elsewhere?"

"'Fraid not, Sparky," Lancie said. He spun and pointed at a nebulous direction beyond the bedroom door. "Out west is the key. It's always been the key. Just... until now... there's nothing that's tempted you beyond the door."

"Lancie, if what you've told me is right... then... then..." Rainbow grimaced. "...we're talking about a crazy-flank trip. Past Tartarus. Past Equestrian borders. Into the wastelands." She gazed nervously out the windows. "...straight into dragon-controlled territories."

"Hey..." Lancie shrugged. "...I never said it would be easy! But so long as you're not making the trip, those last precious pieces of me are in greedy, scaley hands!" He leaned back against the window pane once more, yawning. "The Ice Lavender isn't gonna conjured itself anytime soon. So the question here is... just how desperate are you to rescue the bouncing baby sister to Princess Frecklestasia?"

Rainbow clenched her teeth, frowning into the shadows.

Lancie blinked. "...or perhaps I should be asking myself if I should pack a lunchbox."

Comments

[314]

For once, I have actually predicted the correct turn of events this madman writes.

[Sheendough]

6131853 Rainbow Dash Flies West ahoy.

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

6131853 Indeed you have.

Although in all honesty (glares at a smirking Applejack), I think that we all knew that Lancie and Rainbow were gonna take another shard-seeking road-trip at some point in this whole long mess.

The question is: can they pull it off; get all the shards from one of the scariest dragon-lords on the entire planet (okay, the scariest dragon-lord one the planet), get back in time to save Apple Bloom, and do that all before the Big Villain Posse hits Ponyville in search of a certain cyan, rainbow-maned pegasus?

I'm taking bets.

On another note:

Lancie blinked. "...or perhaps I should be asking myself if I should pack a lunchbox."

This is easily the funniest line in this whole chapter.

[MidnightReflection]

"'Fraid not, Sparky," Lancie said. He spun and pointed at a nebulous direction beyond the bedroom door. "Out west is the key. It's always been the key. Just... until now... there's nothing that's tempted you beyond the door."

"Lancie, if what you've told me is right... then... then..." Rainbow grimaced. "...we're talking about a crazy-flank trip. Past Tartarus. Past Equestrian borders. Into the wastelands." She gazed nervously out the windows. "...straight into dragon-controlled territories."

Well, Rainbow Dash, I think Silvadel was actually east. We should all know. It took almost 150 chapters to get there. Dragons all about the place.

Wait... if we're going west this time... wasn't one of the Divines over in the west?

[Lightning Bearer]

Do... Do I actually see the finish line? We stand to have all the shards gathered and little Apple Bloom saved in the near future, and then all Rainbow will need to do is collect the panties. The only questions I have left are:

1.) This sounds like a pretty epic journey. Will they be able to do it in time to save AB?
2.) What's Discord gonna do when he's all put together again? I mean, I know he's come a long way, but...

[Shipmun]

Out west is the key. It's always been the key.

BLASPHEMY!

East is where it's at

[Hestia]

Pack some tater tots in that lunchbox, Lancie.

I will admit, this sounds pretty epic so far. Maybe it'll even top the Cider Space arc. Who knows?

[Mister Saxon]

6132029

wasn't one of the Divines over in the west?

Yes, it was Sturke. Sadly, although we're dealing with a big dragon, I don't believe Aatxe is the seemingly benevolent Divine that Sturke is.

[MidnightReflection]

6132308 Pfft, well, if Aatxe is just big dragon, and not a divine dragon, then we shouldn't have too much of a problem. Then again, in this story, Rainbow hasn't flown all that way east, so she isn't exactly as seasoned in battle. But she has fought baddies in this story, and she has a chaos lord on her side, so... The dragon arc shall be an interesting arc.

[MidnightReflection]

6132075 There is no finish line in Appledashery.

[Aatxe360]

6132338

I heard my name.

Parallels, Gumshoe. I might be a replacement to Axan in this continuity(Just out West). Ever think of that? I know I didn't. I'm so cynically vain.

What would Rainbow give up this time and who else besides Lancie will be accompanying? She has two weeks tops according to Noir.

Let's find out in a few chapters. JE has been having trouble with those muses.

[FloydienSlip]

I'm not so sure she'll make it in time.

[viofriedsevey]

Ehhh I still get a strong feeling that Lancie can easily do this without the other shards, and is just using her to retrieve his body, though that seems a bit too obvious.

[Leftover of Saikano]

Of course the title references Ian Malcolm, from the first Jurassic Park.
cdn.meme.am/instances/250x250/54522562.jpg
But while Jurassic Park was about recreating long extinct species using preserved samples of their genetic code, what Lancie proposes is using forced atavism to recreate an ancestor of a current species, like those toothed chickens scientists produce these days.

[zaponator]

I swear, if this was all a play by Lancie to get his body back, I will be very put out.
I feel like it's gonna be teased as that bring the case, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for as long as I need to. I just like him too much.

[Sarda]

6133093 you kidding? Of course it's all a play to get his body back. It's what happens after that that's in flux.

[DeathFox4]

Wow...I think we are almost done, but this...two weeks to save the world...

Eeep.

[LucyHorseThing]

"Yes." Rainbow jerked towards him, eyes wide. "Iced lavender."

"Ah. So is that what ponies called them?"

"Do they have a different name in your day and age?"

"Yes. 'Damn Sneezies.'

I'm not ashamed to say I spat my water out when I read this.

[Crochettail]

a special armory built to contain precious substances

there are so many austraeoh references
i don't even

[DrEggnog]

"No jokes!" Rainbow frowned viciously.

I was very pleased with Rainbow's attempt to keep things serious.

"Trust me..." Lancie calmly pushed her away with a lone paw. "All my life, I've made it my personal mandate to avoid all things related to Tartarus." He shuddered. "Such a nasty place to drive through after dark."

But then I'll admit I got a good laugh out of this.

Lancie blinked. "...or perhaps I should be asking myself if I should pack a lunchbox."

And this made me smile.

I believe this was my favorite chapter since the letter writing.