Appledashery

by Just Essay

The Matter of Our Discussion

As the sun set over Ponyville, a lavender shape and a blue shape trotted out of Twilight's library. They were greeted from across the street by a pink shape, a yellow shape, an orange shape, and a white shape. The ponies met in the center of the street, exchanging words. At first, the orange shape and the white shape hesitated, glancing at one another. Then, followed by pink and yellow's example, the other two mares drifted forward, shaking Trixie's hoof and murmuring words of friendly welcome. As a group, the six wandered off towards Sugarcube Corner.

Rainbow Dash stood on a tree branch overlooking the streets of the town. Her ruby eyes followed the orange shape in particular. A long breath filtered in and out of her lungs.

“I know that look...”

Rainbow sighed. She glanced lethargically aside.

Lancie reclined forward on a lone branch, his stone legs dangling as he smiled.

“And I know that feeling.” He smiled a fanged smile. “The question is... do you know it?”

“Meh.”

“Come onnnnnnnnn... you're starting to get used to it, aren't you?” He winked. “That feeling of accomplishment... of having kicked flanks and taken names yet again. How many times is this in a row? Three? Actually, you went a round without me, if I recall. So that makes it at least four.”

“I should be miserable,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “Even though we got the shard, I'm right back where I started.”

“You mean being a loyal adventurer who puts the safety and feelings of others above all else?” Lancie's eyes narrowed. “Even your own undying crush?”

“The buck are you even getting at, Lancie?”

“Isn't this enough?” Lancie shrugged. “Sparky, you've got it all! The smoothe moves! The speedy strut! The devil-may-care grin and the slippery ability to escape certain death with whatever angle it decides to launch itself at you!”

“Mehhhhhh...”

“So, tell me, Sparky...” Lancie raised a stone eyebrow. “Why seek more? What more is there? Must you always pretend that you're living in some alternate universe where you absolutely... positively must share your spot on the sinking ship with a special somepony?”

Rainbow Dash glared at him.

Lancie stared back with a patient grin.

Rainbow leaned forward, motioning towards herself with a blue hoof.

Lancie stood up and shuffled closer, craning an ear.

Rainbow gulped and spoke in a firm voice. “I'm as awesome as awesomeness can be,” she said. Her brow furrowed. “But I am still just one pony.”

Lancie leaned his head to the side. He scratched his stone goatee.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, sighed, and said. “I'm hungry, you?”

“Pfft. I'm a piece of living chaos stone. There's nothing that would entice me.”

“Tater tots?”

“... ... ...this immortal being is willing to make an exception.”

“Heh...” Rainbow Dash planted him on her back and spread her wings. “As long as one of us can.” And with that, she dove off and flew home.

---

“I do not understand it,” Don Canter hissed, leaning his obese figure forward in the pale yellow light above the meeting table. “I just... don't...” He slammed his hoof down onto the tabletop. WHUD “...understand it!” His lackeys frowned on either side of him. “How could you have not only screwed up your contract in both Fillydelphia and Dredgemane... but have forgotten everything about it?!”

The diamond dogs barked angrily. Top Dog howled loudest of all, shaking his gauntlets in anger. Atop the table, Squidgey rolled around in its jar and glowed with an angry green glow.

Romulus stood, flanked by several haggard and bruised thugs. His beak clicked as he gazed past the other criminals with a thousand-mile stare.

“I...” His feathers twitched as he tried to find the words. “I can't... I don't...” He gulped. “You must understand, nothing like has ever... h-has ever happened to...”

One of the thugs cleared his throat, stepped forward, and lowered his fedora. “Boss, hear us out. Somepony or something put a spell on us. It's the only explanation!”

“The only explanation I'm seeing here is that my highest-paid stallions are yellow-bellied panty-waists who can't own up to what an incredible screw-up they've made of things!” Don Canter chewed on his cigar ravenously. “And, what's more, I should never... ever trust a griffon!”

Schiiiing! Romulus raised a scimitar across the table, glinting in Squidgey's light. His snarling voice was punctuated by a dozen thugs arming their weapons. “You'd better think twice before insulting my kind, you slimey worm!” He spat. “You've a lot of fat for me to gut!”

“Do you even know why you are threatening me?!” Don Canter frowned. “Look at yourself! You're coming apart at the seams!”

“I've got things taken care of!”

“Like you did in Dredgemane?! What even happened there?! Do you know?!”

“It was the blue pony!” Top Dog snarled, the hair rising on the back of his neck. “I'm telling you—she's not natural! She's got the freaky magic of the princesses helping her!”

“She must be a secret agent for Canterlot!” another dog barked. “A soldier in diguise.”

Romulus shuddered. “Or perhaps she's in charge of the Lunar Code.”

Don Canter raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”

Romulus clammed shut.

“You stupid buzzard! Is there something you're not telling us?!”

One of the thugs beside Romulus spoke up. “We know that we performed the hit in Fillydelphia just fine. The warehouse of that stupid bat pony blew up. That much we know, boss. After that...” He shrugged. “All a blur!”

“You were bewitched, ya stinkin' filthy animals!” Don Canter spat. “How in Tartarus' name did you get out of that stupid hole in the ground?”

“Dredgemane?” Romulus blinked steadily. “We... we had help...”

“Help?”

“Yeah, boss!” a thug nodded. “She bust us out of jail and everything! She's really, really gifted in magic!”

Don Canter squinted. “Who is...?”

“Sunset Shimmer, the one and only.” A mare trotted into the light, her fiery eyes reflecting Squidgey's eerie glow. She frowned wickedly. “I was deep underground when she cast the chaos spell...”

“When who did?!”

“The pegasus that you're after...” she sneered. “And the one whose guts I'm going to present you on a platter once I find her.” She punched one hoof against another. “Wherever she may be hiding...”

Comments

[BabySkittleMonster]

“Pfft. I'm a piece of living chaos stone. There's nothing that would entice me.”
“Tater tots?”
“... ... ...this immortal being is willing to make an exception.”

Of course you would, Lancie. Of course you would.
... What are Tater Tots?

[MoonMirror]

Mmm, nothing like potato gems heaped with salt and vinegar. Good choice.

[RoboRed]

Well...darn. Can't say I saw that one coming.

[Keradon]

5243121

Presented for your eyes to determine edibility (is that a word?):

photos2.demandstudios.com/dm-resize/photos.demandstudios.com%2Fgetty%2Farticle%2F165%2F133%2F78365009_XS.jpg?w=400&h=10000&keep_ratio=1

[BabySkittleMonster]

5243196
... I want some.

[Sharp Quill]

“So, tell me, Sparky...” Lancie raised a stone eyebrow. “Why seek more? What more is there? Must you always pretend that you're living in some alternate universe where you absolutely... positively must share your spot on the sinking ship with a special somepony?”

Like with Roarke on the Noble Jury? Is this hidden foreshadowing?

5243121 I guess tator tots only exist on this side of the pond. Did not know that.

[BabySkittleMonster]

5243427
It seems everything in this story is hidden foreshadowing. Yay for foreshadowing! I swear this writer's a genius. Or something.
And no, I'd never heard of them before. Either they are only on your side or I've just had the misfortune to never come across the, anywhere. I hope it's the latter - I really fancy some now.

[Sharp Quill]

5243440 If you're gonna find them, you should find them next to the french fries in the freezer section of your local supermarket. Ignore any microwave instructions.

[BabySkittleMonster]

5243490
Will do! ;) Thanks for the help! If I don't find any, I'm tempted to cross the pond just to try some. Yes, I am shallow enough to try that. And heck, I've always wanted to go to America. Anywhere you'd recommend?

[zaponator]

Lancie and Dash are still brilliant together, and the villains are still equal parts incompetent and blindly determined.
Carry on.

[Sharp Quill]

5243537 It's a big place. I'm 3000 miles away from Just Essay.

You could go to Florida and hunt down JE, and should you fail to find him, Disney World is there.

Or you could go to San Francisco next April and attend BABSCon and see Discord in person (disguised as a human).

But you're not likely to find tator tots on the menu in any restaurant, unfortunately.

[BabySkittleMonster]

5243898
It looks like JE should start hiding then
This has to be the longest and most off-topic conversation I've ever had on fimfiction - and I've had a few. Huh. And people say spending all day reading FanFiction is antisocial.

[Bulbajer]

5243537
Come to New England! We've got a rich history, a diverse population, colorful language, nasty drivers, heavenly milkshakes...

[BabySkittleMonster]

5244211
The milkshakes may just sway me... And the colourful language is certainly no stranger. Ah, I think I'm going to have fun come Summer.

[Lightning Bearer]

Oh Sunset.

[Fishberry]

So. Rainbow Dash, Photo Finnish, and Trixie trot into a bar.

The barcolt looks up and says ... "Hey, why so blue?"

... I got nothin'.

[TwilightUCrazy]

>This chapter

oi40.tinypic.com/2niv03p.jpg

[Phoenix Kitten]

In regards to Sunset joining the villain crew...

It doesn't matter what form you take...sometimes you have to let your inner villain out to play.

Also I totally pictured her flicking her hoof backwards and letting some embers flick off it as she departs a scene.

[LucyHorseThing]

Atop the table, Squidgey rolled around in its jar and glowed with an angry green glow.

cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/55962433.jpg

[Dash32]

DAMMIT SUNSET!

[Weehawk]

Saw it coming but still hoping for that change of heart later. Of course I'm reading this through the lens of someone who started watching pony when rainbow rocks came out

[arancaytar]

“Sunset Shimmer, the one and only .” A mare trotted into the light, her fiery eyes reflecting Squidgey's eerie glow. She frowned wickedly. “I was deep underground when she cast the chaos spell...”

Oh LUNA BUCKING DAMMIT