• Published 4th Dec 2013
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Appledashery - Just Essay



Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.

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Second Verse...

“Sorry, I...” Autumn Rush winced as she stumbled along the thin, winding corridor. “I'm very grateful for the bread that you gave me, but I'm afraid I'm still... nnngh... a b-bit weak on my legs...”

“Here...” Rainbow Dash leaned in, offering a shoulder to lean on and a wing to brace her with. “That better?”

“Yes. A lot.” Autumn gulped. “Thanks.”

“Don't mention it,” Rainbow said. “However, I wouldn't mind if you talked a bit more.”

“About what?”

“Well, for starters, this 'fuel source' that Top Dog has stumbled onto.”

“I've not seen it with my own eyes,” the doe said, shivering with each step. “But I've certainly heard a lot about it. The dogs are real chatterboxes, you see, and they don't think their slaves are capable of hearing as much as we do.”

“Right...”

“They've been slaving away at this machine for Top Dog,” Autumn said. “It's something that's supposed to let him wage war against the other canine clans.”

“Uh huh...”

“But for months on end, he's been frustrated, because he couldn't get the thing to power itself on coal or steam or even manastone! But then he got in contact with someone on the black market. Apparently some ponies in illicit trade had gotten their hooves on a brand new energy source... something that can cause great destruction, though it comes in a small package.”

“It wouldn't happen to be something like a stone shard, would it?” Rainbow Dash asked. She felt a stirring in her saddlebag and swiftly swatted it with her free wing. “Perhaps... something even resembling a piece of a large... uhm... m-monster statue?”

“I'm afraid I can't say,” Autumn said, then gulped as they both passed under torchlight. “All I know is that the Diamond Dogs here got ahold of it very recently, and they've been working the slaves extra hard ever since. It's as if production of the weapon went into full speed as soon as they got their new power source. I've never seen the dogs this focused before.”

“At the rate at which they're going, these idiots are likely to blow themselves up.”

Autumn shuddered. “One can only hope.” She squinted at Rainbow Dash. “Did... did you come for the shard?”

“More or less,” Rainbow said. “But, now that I realize that you poor saps are being locked up here, I feel that a change in strategy is in order.”

Plop! Lancie stuck his stony antlers out of the saddlebag. “Ohhhhhh no, Sparky. A deal's a deal. Without that shard, how do you expect your precious Miss Drawl-Drawl to get her blessed jollies?”

“One thing at a friggin' time, ya crusty salamander!” Rainbow Dash slapped him back in place with her wing. “Trust me! I got this!

“You g-got what, Miss Dash?”

“Uhhhhh...” Rainbow smirked back at Autumn. “I've gotta get an idea of just who and what we're dealing with! How many Diamond Dogs live in this colony? Two hundred? Three hundred?”

Autumn Rush gaped at her. “Miss Dash... this is a subterranean metropolis! No less than ten thousand canines call this place home!”

Rainbow Dash's ears drooped. “Oh...” She gulped. “Oh.” She gulped again. “Yeah, that's a less smexy number than a few hundred.”

“I'm sorry to disappoint you, Miss Dash,” Autumn said with a sigh. “If you really wanted to make a difference here, then you should have brought an army.”

“Hey... I didn't say we were giving up yet!” Rainbow re-smirked. “There's still hope of getting you and your buds out of this place!”

“How?!” Autumn Rush blinked. “You're just one pegasus! How do you expect to save us all on your lonesome?!”

“Don't knock sheer awesomeness until you've tried it,” Rainbow Dash said. “Besides. I've got an even better question.” Her brow furrowed. “What need would a city of ten friggin' thousand diamond dogs have for slaves?”

“Uhm...” Autumn blushed slightly. “They're very... uh... v-very lazy dogs.”

“Yeah. No crap.” Rainbow nodded. “I guess that's what you get for having ten thousand mutts and not a single leash to spare among them.”

“Heeheehee...” Autumn faintly giggle. “I don't know if it's just the exhaustion and the hunger speaking, but you're very funny, Miss Dash.”

“I can be very fuzzy too, once you get to know me.” Rainbow Dash nodded ahead. “Hey, I'm hearing something.”

“Do you smell that?” Autumn remarked.

Rainbow Dash's nose wriggled in the air. She blinked. “Huh... it's less smelly all of the sudden.”

“Yes...” Autumn nodded. “We're coming up on the slave pens.”

“Heh... go figure...”

“Uhm... there'll likely be guards waiting for us on the other side, patrolling the cages,” Autumn said. “And considering the fact that the dogs you knocked out behind us could be waking up any moment now...”

“Hey, don't worry, girl...” Rainbow patted the deer's shoulder. “I get it. I know exactly what to do in this sort of a situation.”


In a large chamber filled to the brim with cage after wooden cage of quadrupedal wretches, a group of canines gathered around a burning barrel with their armor and spears, warming their paws before the open flame.

“So, this one time,” spoke a mutt. “I saw this wagging thing right behind me.”

“Ruff! What did you do?”

“What else? I chased it!”

“Hahahaha... ... ... and then what happened?”

“BOOYAKASHAAAAAA!” Rainbow Dash dove violently into the group, slamming the burning barrel over and setting a nearby table full of hoof-cuffs on fire.

The surprised dogs yelped and shrieked in terror. Before one could smack the pegasus with a heavy lance, she snaked around him, grabbed him by the waist, and suplex'd him through the burning table. SMASH!

Watching from the tunnel entrance, Autumn Rush leaned against a stalacmite and winced. “Uhm... Miss Dash?! She watched nervously as the prismatic figure darted from canine to canine. “Are you sure that this is the best—?”

“Just one second! I'm having another one of my moments here!” Smack! Wham! P-Pow! “What?! What?! C'mere, Fido! Let me take you someplace magical! It's called Concussion City! Population: YOU!” Whud!

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