Appledashery

by Just Essay

A Mare Dash Proposal

Rainbow Dash flew in a wide arc, skimming the smokestacks of Fillydelphia as they churned smog into the air. After piercing several columns of dark clouds, she descended rapidly on the brown building with the gold stripe. The sound of airship horns echoed in the distance as she came to a stop, waving a forelimb before her muzzle and coughing.

“Pfffft… kafff… bleachk…” She sighed, shaking the soot off her wingfeathers. “And here I thought everypony in Equestria did the whole winter wrap up thing. ‘City of brotherly saddle’ my flank.” She trotted forward, squinting at the concrete foundation that lined the outer edges of the building. “Now, lessee if they hold up their end of the bargain. Hmmmm… Northwest corner stone… northwest corner stone…”

River water rippled while tugboats drifted up and down the channel beside her.

“Just what does a ‘corner stone’ even look like? Aren’t those things supposed to be friggin’ huge or something?” She sighed, ears drooping. “I’m no dang archaelotech.” She froze, blinking. “Hello, I’m Rainbow Dash. How are you?”

A stone lay crookedly atop a square hole in the earth. A dark, empty space was easily visible beneath it.

“Deliciously weird, that’s how you are.” Rainbow Dash trotted forward, pausing to tap and bat at the loose stone like a blue feline. Biting her lip, she stuck her muzzle close, peering into the dark recess. “Hrmmmmm…”

Silence.

“Buck it.” She slid the stone aside and shoved her hoof deep down into the black hole at the corner of the building. She tilted her head towards the sky, licking her muzzle with the effort it took to reach so deep into the recess. After several seconds, her eyelids fluttered, but not in the good way. “Oh come on…”

She felt and felt… but touched nothing.

“Oh come on!” She body-pressed directly over the hole, sticking her muzzle inside the hole. ”This has gotta be a friggin’ joke! her voice cracked in a reverberating echo, highlighting the vast emptiness of the hole.

A cold wind blew over the industrial sprawl, blanketing her with a brief curtain of smog.

“Rrrrrrgh!” She stood up straight, stomping her hooves as she gnashed her teeth. “Darn it! Darn it darn it daaaaaaaaarn it!” She paced in a tight circle, huffing and puffing. “How could I be so stupid?! So gosh darn friggin’ stupid! Zecora, your brew didn’t make me crazy, it just lowered my intelligence by a million pegs! Grrrrrrrr!” She stomped up to the building face and smacked her forehead against it several times. “Never. Trust. A. Pony. In. A. Cloak. It. Always. Ends. Up. SUCKY!”

She froze in place, twitching… twitching again.

“Owwwwww!” She stumbled backwards, rubbing a forelimb across her skull. A shiver ran through her body, and she gazed forlornly at the hoof, flexing it at the crook while numb tingles pricked at the end of her limb. “One whole week,” she muttered somberly. A sigh. “Still… it was a pretty nifty week… while it lasted.”

Her nostrils flared as she watched the dream of future potion brewing dissolve in the polluted air. Once more, her eyes fell upon the loose stone, and she snarled from deep within.

“Hrrrrrnnngh--Raaaugh!” She bucked the stone hard and trotted away.

Instantly, she heard the sound of rattling coins.

Rainbow froze in place. Blanching, she slowly and icily turned around.

After being kicked, the cornerstone rolled over to reveal a hole in its bottom. A pouch dangled halfway out of the thing, and several golden bits lay in a pool around the dislodged brick.

Rainbow’s jaw dropped. In a blur, she zipped back over to the edge of the building and scooped up the loose coins. Once she had, they stacked up to something taller than her own fetlock from the ground. Gulping, she turned the brick over and started sliding the rest of the pouch out. Her muzzle hung open wider and wider with each successive centimeter of the bit bag that produced itself before her eyes.

“You’ve gotta be friggin’ kidding me…”

At last, she pulled the whole thing out. Even with full control of her physical faculties, it was difficult to hold the weighted bag in one limb.

“Nooooo way…” Her gaping mouth turned into a crooked grin as she let loose giggle after foalish giggle. “Nooo-oooo-oooo waaa-aaa-aaa-aaay! HaHA!” She gripped the pouch, bit her lip, and fluttered her wings with a blushing smile. “I-I take it back! Cloaks are cool! Super cool, in fact! I-I’ll even have one as my m-maid of honor!” her voice cracked.

Rainbow flew back with a glorious yelp, squealing inwardly as she lay on her back and chuckled, chuckled.

After a few seconds, her smile faded, replaced by an expression that bordered on euphoric and terrified. With a gulp, she murmured to the murky air.

“I… I’d totally marry you…” She smiled calmly this time, momentarily relishing the tingle in her hooves as she hugged herself, ignoring the weight of the money in between her limbs. “I totally would marry you,” she repeated more firmly this time, her coat flushed from the utterance. “Hmmmm…” Her eyes closed as she drifted in the thought, taking her to some place far warmer and cleaner than any place in Equestria could provide.

Comments

[Tchernobog]

Getting a bit ahead of yourself there, Dash~

[Sheendough]

Goddamnit, what about AJ!?

[schmitthappens21]

Well then. Okay.

[FloydienSlip]

Rainbow Dash is best Scrooge.

[Lightning Bearer]

Being a Swift delivery pony sure beats selling foals as food.

After several seconds, her eyelids fluttered, but not in the good way.

[zaponator]

Rainbow Dash trotted forward, pausing to tap and bat at the loose stone like a blue feline.

...gawd that's cute.

[Metal Aura]

4099908 Perhaps I'm new to the concept of eyelid fluttering, but I was not aware that there is a good and a bad eyelid flutter technique. You learn something new everyday I guess.

[arancaytar]

“Deliciously weird, that’s how you are.” Rainbow Dash trotted forward, pausing to tap and bat at the loose stone like a blue feline. Biting her lip, she stuck her muzzle close, peering into the dark recess. “Hrmmmmm…”

The fuzzy Dash similes are a Skirtsian trademark

[AppleTank]

digestive blink, ok then