• Published 4th Dec 2013
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Appledashery - Just Essay



Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.

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Of Love and Drowning

Cl-Clack! The clipboard fell losely across the edge of the desk and rattled onto the warehouse floor.

Stamps looked up, squinting. A few delivery ponies in yellow aprons paused to glance over.

"Watch it, Dash!" Stamps grumbled, returning to his files as he leaned over his desk. "You'd better not be dropping packages out in the field like you're dropping stuff inside here!"

"Right..." Rainbow Dash shuddered. She flexed and unflexed her forelimb. With a sigh, she leaned down and resorted to picking the clipboard up with her teeth. "Mmmf..." She spat it back into her hooves, managing to catch it as she hovered before the manager's table. "Trust me. I've got it all under control."

"Got all of what under control?"

Rainbow Dash sliced a glance at him. "Awesomeness..."

A worker or to chuckle, but silenced themselves from the squinting look thrown their way by Stamps. He looked back up at her. "Even still, that's the fourth time you've dropped something inside the delivery center."

"For real?" Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "You've been counting?"

"What, you think I get paid to sit around and fart?"

Rainbow opened her mouth—

"No! Never mind!" Stamps waved a hoof, sighing. "Don't answer that." He shuffled his papers, avoiding her gaze as a deep breath swam through him. "Thanks, Rainbow Dash, for coming in on such short notice. To be honest, when Bread Breaths called in sick, you were my last choice for filling his shift."

"With a name like that, I'm surprised he doesn't fill in his own shift by accident," Rainbow said. "Not to mention his pants."

"Look, that came out the wrong way," Stamps said with a sigh as he shook his hoof. "What I meant was... I didn' t know what you were up to on your two days off, nor is it any of my business, but I figured you'd probably need... erm... and extra day off as a buffer. Apparently I was wrong. So, thank you, Dash, for coming in after all."

"Uhhhhh... yeah. Sure." Rainbow squinted. "What'd you think I was doing anyways?"

"Mrmmfff... Like I said, it's none of my business."

"I'd really like to know!"

"And I'd really like to keep my position as a manger!"

Rainbow planted her hooves against her floating hips. "Want me to go, punch out, then ask you while I'm off the clock!"

"Oh please, don't be so dramatic!" Stamps rolled his eyes. "You're cruising for a..." He sighed, slicked his mane back, then muttered aside, "It's simply that the last time you worked here, you asked for lots of time off, and that's when... well... that's when I started to lose one of my most valued employees."

"Stamps..." Rainbow Dash lowered down in her hover so that their eyes met. "I already told you." She narrowed her eyes. "I'm a changed mare. I'm not like the frickin' slacker you once hired. I'm a lot... y'know... smarter n'crud!"

Stamps looked at her. His eyes fell to her hooves.

She glanced down. Her forelimbs were quivering all over, struggling with the task of holding the measely little clipboard. She bit her lip and tightened her grip as best as she could. An unavoidable blush flew through her facial features, and she glanced nervously over her shoulder.

Stamps took his time before uttering, "Like I said, I very much appreciate you coming in on such short notice, Dash. I'll try to prepare a better warning next time." He reached forward, took her clipboard, and dotted off a few items on the sheet. "You're on warehouse duty for your last three hours."

"But..." Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted me delivering to Dream Valley by sunset."

"I'll put Wind Whistler up to the task. She's become available this afternoon."

"But warehouse duty is for scrubs! Come on, Stamps, I'm your best flier—"

"Dash..." Stamps held the clipboard back out, his eyes sharp, imploring. "Warehouse duty." He gulped. "I'm not likely to be manager of Banner Company forever," he said in a whispery tone. "I'd learn to adapt if I were you."

Rainbow Dash hovered in silence. She reached forward—made eye contact with Stamps—then fidgeted slightly as she took the bulk of twenty seconds to grip the clipboard with both forelimbs.

Stamps said nothing. When they broke contact, he returned to his office work with a rustle of paper. "Wind Whistler! Fly on up! I've got a last minute task for you!"

Rainbow Dash flew limply away from the table, making her way towards the rear of the warehouse as she sighed into the gathering shadows.


The sun was setting as a full shift of ponies left the rear doors to Banner Company. Among them was Rainbow Dash, stripping limply of her yellow apron and shoving it into her saddlebag. With a disgruntled sigh, she looked aside at her fellow employees.

The stallions and mares chatted with, laughing over one story or another. Collectively they trotted or flew home, leaving Rainbow Dash alone in the quiet street.

When the coast was clear, Rainbow Dash reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a cylindrical container. She gave it a shake, and only one thing rattled inside. She bit her lip, gazing between the container and her hooves.

At last, she leaned back, took a long meditative breath, and closed her eyes.

Out from the darkness of her mind, a scene played out. Applejack kicked her hooves in the air, cheering loudly. She then turned to hug Big Mac and Granny Smith. Apple Bloom jumped all around them as the family huddled happily beneath the glistening fruit of their orchards. Applejack's freckled face lifted in the sunlight, and tears glistened around the edges of her eyes.

Rainbow Dash took a breath.

Applejack kicked her hooves in the air, cheered, and turned to Big Mac and Granny Smith. Apple Bloom joined the group hug as Applejack's smiling tears glittered like stardust.

Another breath.

Applejack kicked, cheered, and hugged her family. Her beautiful emerald eyes shimmered brighter upon each repeat of the memory.

When Rainbow's eyes reopened, they were accompanied by a warm smile. Her hooves tingled slightly, chasing away the cold shudders of an awkward afternoon.

Rainbow exhaled. She stuck the pill container back into her saddlebag along with the apron, then took off. Without a second though, she tore across the rooftops of town, spread her wings, and glided towards the site of a lonely drinking hole...


Clunk!

Rainbow slapped the empty mug down next to three others, wiped the froth of cider from her muzzle, and wheezed through a delirious smile.

"Heeeeeeeee!" She bounced in her seat, giggling. "And... and so... HIC!... and so this pony allegedly got the two mammoth jerkfaces to—HIC—bust down the door to their own lair! And what happens next?! Bazoooiiie!" She grinned, teetering in her seat. "Moonlight comes roaring in and melting the skin of both monsters! Hah! Poetic friggin' justice!"

"I'd say," Bon Bon said, blinking.

"I wasn't aware that moonlight made a dramatic sound effect," Vinyl Scratch remarked.

"If it did, I figured it'd be less of a 'Bazoooiiie' and more of a 'Kerspachkllle!'" Lyra smirked, eyebrows waggling from across the booth. "You should drink with us more often, Rainbow. You're teaching us a whole new slew of vocabulary."

"Darn tootin'. Rootin' smootin'. Hic!" Rainbow Dash looked down inside her empty mug, then broke into uncontrollable giggles. "Heeee-hehehehe! Hey! Hey guys!"

"Yeah, Rainbow?"

"You ever wonder if—when Cyclopses fart—they catch on fire all over?" She grinned wickedly. "What, from all the—HIC!—flames of Tartarus and all?"

"Actually, I've heard that Tartarus is more cold than burning, but—" Vinyl flinched from Rainbow's swinging wings. "Okay! Never mind!"

"Vriiiii-aarrrrrr-Thack!" Rainbow gestured. "The basilisk hit his head just like that! All the while—HIC—failing to catch that pony who saved all the buffalo!"

"Fascinating..." Bon Bon remarked, stirring uncomfortably.

"So, who was this pony anyways?" Caramel asked from where he sat. "I mean, you seem to know an awful lot about her. More than what they've been talking about in the newspapers, I mean."

"Oh, right!" Bon Bon glanced over. "I remember reading that in Equestria Daily! It was the cover article! Apparently an entire batallion of guard ponies were presumed dead, and instead they emerged from this monster lair in a bunch of mountains northeast of here!"

"There was an entire ceremony for them in Canterlot and everything!" Caramel said. A blue hoof slammed into the table, causing the stallion to jump with an effeminate gasp.

"Rrrrrgh! Screw Canterlot!" Rainbow Dash barked. "All that fru fru lameness and their stupid blue tiled rooftops!"

"Their rooftops are blue?" Bon Bon whispered.

Vinyl Scratch shrugged. "Helps to be a pegasus."

"Ohhhhhh..."

"I'm tellin' ya guys..." Rainbow Dash blinked blearily. "The real action is—HIC!—right here. In Ponyville. With its... g-golded thatched rooftops and treehouse libraries and talking zebras and apples and apple and more apples..." She broke into a giggle fit, nuzzling the empty mug of cider. "I frigign' love apples. Did you all know that? I could roll around in them forever. Who cares if my feathers are in the way?"

"Oh, of that, we have no doubt, Rainbow Dash—who was totally not at the scene of the rescue at the cyclops and basilisk lair," Lyra said with a grin.

"I'm tellin' ya girls... and half-girls!" She hiccuped. "Apples are the best..."

"Yes..." Bon Bon shifted uncomfortably. "We've gathered."

"I'm more a fan of peaches myself," Lyra muttered.

"Shhh!" Caramel insisted, then leaned across the table, resting a hoof on Rainbow's forelimb as the pegasus slumped across the edge. "Rainbow? Darling, are... are you okay?"

"I just... just..." Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth, squirming as she nuzzled her cheek against the table as if it was something warm and freckled instead. "Just don't want this day to end." She gulped. "So scared... sc-scared that I'll wake up and it won't be... be so warm anymore..."

"Why, whatever do you mean by that, Rainbow?" Bon Bon asked.

"Nothing." The pegasus gulped. "Everything. Just... just so awesome. It's all in my head. I can play it forward and reverse, no problem. I'm afraid that sleep is gonna screw that up. I don't want to forget it... I don't want to forget h-how she looked..."

Bon Bon bit her lip, glancing across the table.

"Well..." Lyra tapped her chin. "Have you considered that perhaps you already ended the day?" She smirked. "And that you're just dreaming right now?"

"This... is a dr-dream?" Rainbow asked.

"Yes. How else could you have downed four mugs of cider without peeing all over the floor?"

Rainbow Dash stared at her. Her mouth exploded: "Hah hah hah hah...!" Thud! She collapsed finally. "Shnorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Owie..." Caramel covered his ears.

"Whew..." Vinyl couldn't help but smirk. "Like a gatling gun!"

"I know, right?" Lyra murmured, pulling a coat out from her saddlebag and draping it across Rainbow's snoring figure like a blanket. "She's been stocking up on ammo too, I"m tellin' ya..."

"When was the last time Rainbow Dash drank this much in a single hour?" Bon Bon asked with a worried expression. "It's... it's almost how she used to be..."

"It's not how she used to be," Lyra grumbled. "This is different. She's different."

"Who was this 'she' that Rainbow was talking about?" Caramel asked.

"Who else?" Lyra droned. "The one 'she' we ever find. The 'she' that breaks our heart and glues us back together all at once."

"Hmmm..." Vinyl smiled. "Poetic."

"I was gonna go with 'miserable.'" Lyra looked down at Rainbow's slowly stirring form. "The poor chick's been slammed with the love mallet. Big time."

"That much was obvious from the last time she visited," Bon Bon said, then gazed compassionately at the snoring pegasus. "But... blessed Celestia... whatever's happening, whoever 'she' is... I fear it's gonna tear her apart at this rate!"

"Hmmm..." Lyra smiled.

"What, Lyra?" Caramel blinked. "What is it?"

"Maybe being torn apart is what Rainbow needs," the unicorn said.

Vinyl tilted her shades and squinted with naked magenta eyes. "Oh really?"

"But hey..." Lyra shrugged. "I'm just a squishy, huggable idiot." She pulled out a few bits, slapped them on the table, and stood up. "Come on, ladies. This lightweight needs a helpin' hoof getting home."

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