Appledashery

by Just Essay

Party Tumbler

As Vinyl Scratch flipped one record in place of another, she adjusted her soundboard and glanced towards the top left above her booth. Her gaze fell on Rainbow Dash, following the mare in her glittery gown as she traversed a lofty balcony full of ponies toward the far end of the Paint Bucket Flat.

Lowering her shades, Vinyl's magenta eyes wandered to the far right. In a strobe of party lights, she made out Photo Finish's multi-colored outfit and snow-white bangs. The distance between her and Rainbow was wide and dead-thick with chatting equines. The two weren't getting any closer anytime soon.

“Hrmmmm...” Vinyl clenched her jaw. Pretending to mind her own business, she proceeded with the next track of her mix.

---

“Nnnngh... Guh...” Rainbow grunted and fidgeted, struggling to worm her way towards where Photo Finish was standing with several fellow artists. “Rghhh... wh-why can't I just fly there? For real?” She glanced down at her wings, then sighed. “One or two flaps and this darn thing will rip right in two.” She sulked, her skull hanging with a rattle of her headband. “Rarity, why'd you have to make it so friggin' delicate?”

“Here you go, madame,” a wandering waiter said, hoofing her a champagne glass.

“Uhhhh...” She nervously took it in the crook of her hoof. “But I didn't ask for—”

The stallion wandered off, hoofing glasses to other patrons.

Rainbow gritted her teeth, fuming. She glanced at the glass, gave it one sniff, and made a retching face. She looked left and right—finally spotting an elaborate scale model of the Empire Stallion Building made out of bottle caps. Squinting one eye, she planted the base of the glass neatly on the very top of the skyscraper so that it balanced in place like it belonged there.

With a victorious breath, Rainbow spun once more to face Photo Finish farm afar.

“Here you go, madame,” another waiter placed a fresh glass in her hoof.

Rainbow stood there, frozen with a bewildered expression as he trotted away. She rolled her eyes and summoned a low growl from deep within.

“Let me guess,” a stallion's rich Canterlot accent rolled from behind her. “Luna is your favorite Princess, hmmm?”

“Uhhhhh...” Rainbow turned, finding herself staring down the scrutinizing gazes of an affluent pair of unicorns. Four haughty eyes looked her up and down. “Oh... Luna! Totally!” Rainbow squinted until her eyes were as thin as theirs. She spoke in an airy tone, “Only the Ruler of the Stars can... uhm... ignite the dark flame from within!”

“Is that so?” The stallion adjusted his pink scarf and shuffled daintily through the flashing lights. “I must say, your gown is absolutely stunning, dear.”

“Certainly an eye-catcher,” the mare added, ears twitching.

“Hey... my best friend made it for m—er...” Rainbow fidgeted. “I mean, it was hoof-stitched by the finest and most talented artist at the Carousel Boutique.”

“Carousel Boutique?” the mare remarked. “Never heard of it.”

“Hmmmm...” Rainbow pretended to examine her champagne glass. “Most ponies haven't. It does a number on the mind, much less the pocket book.”

The mare and stallion exchanged glances.

“You must tell us where we can find this Carousel Boutique!” the stallion said. “For that refinery is beyond exquisite!”

“I... would... but... uhm...” Rainbow glanced at Photo Finish, fidgeting. “I really need to get g-going...”

“Why, what's the hurry, dear?” the mare asked.

“The night is young, and there is much to discuss,” the stallion added, gesturing with a hoof. “From art to fashion to celebrity gossip!”

“Celebrity... gossip...” Rainbow's eyes eventually fell to the floor beneath the balcony.

Vinyl's lenses glinted as she stared back at the pegasus from afar.

Rainbow took a deep breath. She turned towards the couple and tilted her head up. “Hmmph! Gossip? You should be lucky that a pair of ponies like you can gossip! Much less talk!”

“Huh?” The stallion blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“Whatever are you going on about, darling?”

“Ponies without mouths!” Rainbow snarled in their faces. “Ever thought about them? Pfft—Why should I even bother asking! Each and every day, ponies are born without lips or tongues or vocal cords! They have an impossible time eating, much less even bothering to spread rumors about what celebrities are wearing to parties! To think that such wealthy ponies could be so ignorant to not even think of the non-mouthers! Ungh! What's this city coming to?”

“Oh... uhm...” The stallion glanced down fidgeting. “I... I honestly had no idea... uhhhh...”

“Here...” Rainbow shoved the glass into his grasp. “Put your mouth to good use, since you're so lucky to have one. As for me? Hmmmph!” She marched off, tail flicking. “I have better things to do than waste my time on a prejudicial pair of non-mouther-persecuting oralists! I'm a philanthropist!”

As she trotted off, the couple winced in unison.

“I think... it was a bad idea to talk to her,” the stallion muttered.

“Never mind that,” the mare hissed, glancing nervously over her shoulders. “As soon as we get home, we're looking up the closest non-mouther fund!”

“Shhhh! Not so loud! Nopony here needs to know!”

“What do we do now? I don't want anypony to be suspicious of our oralist prejudice! We've got a yacht club to maintain!”

“Calm down. Just blend.”

“But what were we d-doing before?”

“Blend harder!”

Comments

[Tchernobog]

...

[RoboRed]

Pffttt. Suckers.

[Aatxe360]

4757389

[HyperMonica]

ahhh... one of my favorite chapters yet.

[Lightning Bearer]

Dude needs to check his mouth privilege.

[Jay_Baker]

Well played dash...well played -_-
Well keep up your good work

[YoshiFawful64]

Nice.
It's actually pretty relieving to see Dash taking this thing up to eleven. I was worried somepony would try and hit on her, only to become more interested by the "social justice warrior" thing, but it seems we're safe from that. After all, no one's actually that passionate about this stuff, right? ...Right?
PS: 250 chapters down! If I had to guess, I'd say we're either a half or a quarter of the way through... of the first book, that is.

[Misspegasister_]

"Blend harder!"

[Doughnot_followmoi]

Anyone just like to go back and comment on the older chapters?
...
crickets
...
No? Just me...
Ok then

[Dash32]

6980842 I do!

[Metal Aura]

The closest thing to being neon without a mouth is Congenital Trismus which is just a decrease range of jaw motion. It's super rare but really easy to fix so there is no pressing need for funds to continue research on it. (I've had enough of your silly virtue signaling.)
Would being born without a mouth suck? It couldn't, though, without a mouth.

[Snowdrifter]

“Blend harder!”

It's a wonderful glass of champagne...
But
Will it blend?

[arancaytar]

She looked left and right—finally spotting an elaborate scale model of the Empire Stallion Building made out of bottle caps. Squinting one eye, she planted the base of the glass neatly on the very top of the skyscraper so that it balanced in place like it belonged there.

Her second contribution to modern art! Dashie is a born talent at this!

“Here you go, madame,” another waiter placed a fresh glass in her hoof.

[arancaytar]

“Hey... my best friend made it for m—er...” Rainbow fidgeted. “I mean, it was hoof-stitched by the finest and most talented artist at the Carousel Boutique.”

Hey, it looks like Dashie is hitting a whole flock of birds with one gown here.

“Ponies without mouths!”

Oh my God Dashie STAHP

[Boop-Happy Lass]

“What do we do now? I don't want anypony to be suspicious of our oralist prejudice! We've got a yacht club to maintain!”

Whoah whoah whoa... Dashie was right?

Hilarious chapter! XD