Appledashery

by Just Essay

Have It Your Way 2: The Re-Having

“And—wouldn't you know it?! Crack! An entire crate full of metal folding chairs explodes, giving him a full arsenal of his very own weapon of choice!” Rainbow Dash said, beaming. “Wanna bet what he does?”

“Mmmf...” Zecora swallowed her latest bite of salad and smiled curiously. “Iron Will punishes the canine brute for the criminal acts that he allowed to take root?”

“Wham! Smack! Fappo!” Rainbow pounded the table-top of the fast food restaurant for emphasis, causing a few ponies to glance over at the mares' table. Nonchalantly, she folded her forelimbs and blew her bangs out from her brow. “You know what they say.” She smirked. “Every dog has its day.” A beat. Her eyes crossed, and she gripped her skull with an inward growl. “Euuugh... now you're making me rhyme!”

Zecora chuckled quietly. “A thousand pardons, Rainbow Dash. I've been told my speech is like an infectious rash.”

“Nah, it's okay. I like it... I like it.” She cleared her throat. “All things in moderation and all that jazz, of course.”

“Did Iron Will successfully defeat this cretin with a skull full of meat?”

“Oh, you bet! Totally saved a whole bunch of enslaved deer and elk and... meese? Mooses? Muss? Dunno how you say—”

“And how, pray tell, did you catch wind of these events that fell?”

“Oh! Uhhhh... Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Rainbow gulped, navigating a wincing, sweating smile. “A... l-little bird told m-me?”

“Hmmm... So it is more than Fluttershy who converses with creatures that fly.”

“Oh! You bet!” Rainbow flapped her wings. “Pegasi gonna peg, y'know? Why, this one time an albatross told me his life story while I dislodged an arrow from his chest and carried him to the pet hospital.”

“Rainbow Dash, who do you take me for?” Zecora smirked and swallowed down some more lettuce. “I sometimes find you cartoonish to the core.”

“Yeah, well, guilty as charged.” Rainbow leaned back in her chair and examined her hoof. “Though Iron Will totally owned those enslaving diamond dogs. I swear it.”

“I will give you the benefit of a doubt,” Zecora said. “After all, it's fun listening to you get these stories out.”

“Heh... I'm glad for that.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Most of my friends get tired of hearing tall tails. Y'know, just because a story is kaizo doesn't make it any less worth listening to.”

Zecora paused in her meal with a scrunched muzzle. “Kaizo...?”

“Y'know...” Rainbow waved a hoof. “Crazy? Insane? Wacked out with a tiny sprinkling of awesome?”

“... ... ...”

“Eh... forget it.” Rainbow stifled a burp and gazed at her empty plate of hay fries. “It's a lousy word to rhyme with anyways.”

“Thank you again for treating me,” Zecora said. “You're certain you've had your fill completely?”

“Hmmm? Oh, yeah. I'm good.”

“A pony of your small size could stand to consume some more fries.”

“Darn it, why does everypony insist that I'm smaller than all the rest of my friends?” Rainbow frowned.

Zecora smirked and swallowed another bite. “Because they can no sooner say that the sky is down or that foals sprout out of the ground.”

“Hmmmph...” Rainbow folded her arms and glared out a nearby window. “I'm not small. I'm just... y'know... flitty.”

“You are full of words today that I hardly know. Perhaps you can lend me your dictionary for when we're on the go?”

“Nuh uh... 'cuz then that would be cheating, girl.”

Zecora chuckled and Rainbow Dash smirked.

Comments

[zaponator]

“Wham! Smack! Fappo!”

Comic book sound effects are the best.

[RoboRed]

Finally caught up with this story. And and no better time either, it seems. I absolutely love the way Zecora is written in this story. She's just the most downright adorable I've ever seen her.

Also, Appledashing.

[Lightning Bearer]

I remain disappointed by how few fics (that I've seen, at least) make use of the Hayburger place. It's perfect for slice-of-life sequences like this.

“Pegasi gonna peg, y'know?"

Someone had better warn Big Macintosh.

[unknownbore]

4553321 I think this AU is set before S4, thus it can't be gaurenteed that that's actually a place. It might have opened between S3 -> S4.

[aleistergreynight]

Why, this one time an albatross told me his life story while I dislodged an arrow from his chest and carried him to the pet hospital.

The Rhyme of the Ancient Mareiner huh?

[DrEggnog]

I'm totally gonna yell out Fappo! the next time I fap.

With as many Skirtian words as Rainbow uses in this story, kaizo included, I almost feel like this is a self insert fic sometimes, in a good way. If Rainbow Dash said some of the dumb bullshit she says in this story in the show I would groan. But when I read it, I don't think of it as Rainbow Dash saying it, I think of it as shortskirts making Rainbow Dash say it for his own amusement. And that's charming.

[Seraphimus]

6135413 this

[arancaytar]

Pegasi gonna peg, y'know? 

OH MY GOD