Appledashery

by Just Essay

Whatcha Gonna Do?

“You're... uhm...” Autumn Rush trembled from where she stood beside the cages. “You're very good at inflicting pain.”

“Mmmmmm...” Rainbow Dash lifted her head, cracked her neck joints, and smiled sweatily at the doe. “Aren't I, though?”

“Are most pegasi as skilled as you?”

“Only the awesome ones. So, in short, no.” Rainbow Dash held her breath, lowered her muzzle, and bit onto the tail of a groaning, stirring diamond dog. Dragging him away from the mess of debris and unconscious bodies, she propped the canine up onto a wooden chair and used one of the guards' own hoof-cuffs to bind him to the wooden structure. “Okay... Let's start over, shall we?”

“Mfffmmmffnnngh...” The dog stirred, his bruised face tilting up and down like he was chasing a horse carriage in his dreams.

“Hey. Hey champ,” Rainbow Dash grunted. The dog didn't reply, and all Rainbow could hear was the nervous titters of the slaves watching from their locked pens. Sighing, the pegasus trotted forward and slapped his face several times with wingfeathers. “Wake up and smell kibble! I need to talk to you, buddy!”

“Ngnnnghhh... grrr... grrr-ruff...” the dog muttered unconsciously.

Rainbow sighed, then sighed again. She plopped back on her haunches, glaring boredly at the guard. “... … … … bacon.”

“Snkkkt—Huh?! What?!” The guard's lopsided eyes opened as he gritted his fractured teeth. “Where?!”

“Heeeeeey!” Rainbow grinned wide. “That's more like it! Thanks for joining us!”

“Joining who?” The dog blinked, then found his belly at the receiving end of a bucking blue hoof. “OOOF!”

Rainbow Dash brought her leg back and hovered in place, glaring into the guard's face while Autumn Rush winced from a distance. “While your lungs fill up, maybe you can think carefully about the situation you're in, punk. I single-hoofedly owned you and your buddies' moronic hides, but I'm just one badflank pony.” Rainbow pointed at the pens. “What would happen to you if I opened all of these cages at once and had the guys and gals inside have their way with the dog responsible for tormenting them? I'm tellin' ya, there ain't enough sheers in the world to fix it, if you know what I'm getting at.”

The dog wheezed and sputtered, wincing.

“Almost able to breathe again?” Rainbow smirked. “Maybe you can get on my good side by answering the question of the day.” She leaned forward and snarled into his bruised face. “Who is Top Dog?! Where is he?! And where is he keeping his big, stupid machine?!”

The dog twitched, spasmed, and finally exhaled, “Coleslaw...”

Rainbow's ears drooped. “Buh?”

“I'm...” The dog gulped. “I-I'm just the cook! I came down here to pr-prepare the slaves' rations!”

Rainbow's muzzle fell agape. “Then... th-then who's the friggin' lead guard?!”

The dog glanced over, nodding with his head. “Maybe the one with the concussion... or the moaning one with the blood in his ears... or the other one lying to the side—though I can't recognize his face from the swelling.”

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to say something, fumbled, then sighed.

The dog smiled awkwardly at her. “But h-hey! If you wanna know where to find the cafeteria, I-I can totally tell you!” He blinked. “The secret is to follow the sound of flies—”

WHAM! Rainbow Dash blindly uppercutted him. The dog's eyes rolled back with a stupid grin as he fell back in his chair, landing unconsciously on the floor with a thud.

“Unnnngh...” Rainbow Dash slumped in midair, wings limp. “He got what was coming to him. Nopony should be forced to eat coleslaw in a place like this.”

Autumn Rush gulped. “Maybe you can question one of the others?”

“Girl, the others are busy eating their own teeth,” Rainbow Dash said with a sigh. “There are times when I almost regret being so good at kicking flank.”

“I'm not pretending to sympathize with these dogs,” Autumn said. “But maybe you should consider questioning them before beating them senseless?”

“Yeah, but where's the fun in that?” Rainbow Dash shrugged.

“Honestly, though, it's only low-level guards who patrol these areas,” Autumn said. “I doubt any of them would have known enough to tell you how and where to find Top Dog.”

“Well, what then?” Rainbow tossed her hooves and frowned into the torchlight. “Am I expected to question one of these poor saps in the cages instead?”

From the sidelines, a deep gruff voice cleared. “If Iron Will could be so bold, perhaps what the pony needs is a secret weapon—like Iron Will!”

“Ungh! Please...” Rainbow turned lethargically towards the cages. “I think I'm awesome enough to do this on my ow-ow-ow-OH DEAR CELESTIA WHAT ARE YOU?!” Rainbow Dash recoiled in horror, her ruby eyes wide.

Standing alone in the cage—several feet away from a bunch of prisoners keeping a cautious distance—a bipedal creature with an ox's head and matching horns smirked against the wooden bars. “A dog's worse nightmare.” The minotaur's nostrils snorted against a brass ring. “And the excellence of execution! Iron Will has a score to settle with Top Dog, if he has the guts to take Iron Will on!”

“Uhm... uhhhhhh...” Rainbow Dash gulped, sweating profusely as she stared at the speaking thing. “...derp?”

A tiny stone head stuck out of her saddlebag. “Nyuppp... I was asleep. What's going on?” Lancie's granite eyes blinked. “And did I just hear Terry Bolleoats talking?”

Comments

[Aatxe360]

Yay! Minotaurs!

[Jay_Baker]

Lol this was funny write more please
:)

[zaponator]

I am 100% okay with this new addition to the party.

[Lightning Bearer]

I've never been so happy to see Iron Will pop up in a fic.

[PropMaster]

Iron Will is the cream of the crop.

[Tchernobog]

Oh gosh. This is just gonna get crazier, isn't it?

[The Danish Adonis]

You keep spelling "worst" as "worse".

you did it a couple of times in some earlier chapters, when you used the expression "your own worse enemy". That should also be "Worst enemy"...

[Fishberry]

4357349
And the cream always riiiiiiises...

*picks up a small waste basket, pulls out a towellette and nonchalantly drapes it over Propmaster's head*

This here is a crying towel, Propmaster...

And Top Dog is gonna NEED IT,

When Iron Will brings the Macho Madness and puts the smackdown on him tonight!

Ooooooooooohhhhhh yyyyeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhh!

[Picture_Perfectxx]

Rainbow sighed, then sighed again. She plopped back on her haunches, glaring boredly at the guard. “... … … … bacon.”

[Metal Aura]

I feel bad for the cook.