Appledashery

by Just Essay

Stupid Leaves

"What I don't understand," Stu Leaves said, still wheezing, "Is how I ended up buying you a hay soda!"

"Simple!" Rainbow wiped the sweat from her brow and slumped back against the side of the wagon beside the stallion. The vehicle was parked off the highway besides a rest stop. "We agreed that I'd buy you a soda if we passed the convoy in three minutes! I know for a fact that we rode past them in a minute and a half!" Rainbow winked, slurping from her straw. "Mmmm... even Applejack counted!"

"Uh huh..." Stu Leaves stared down at the soil beneath him. "I should have known I'd end up paying somehow."

"Hey! When you raise the stakes, that's what you get!"

"Still, feels like it's going by your rulebook, not mine."

"You think we'd have sped past the convoy nearly as quickly as we did if we didn't have me around to give the wagon that super awesome boost?"

"Er..." Stu gulped, still catching his breath. "Good point."

"Don't worry, bucko." Rainbow closed her eyes with a pleasant smile as she sipped from the straw. "You'll earn your soda someday yet."

"Yeah. I guess." He blew out the side of his muzzle. "Stupid Leaves."

Rainbow paused in slurping. She glanced at him. "Hrmmm?" She released her lips from the straw. "What was that?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Nah, out with it!" Rainbow smirked. "I know I heard something!"

"It's a nickname I had back in Cloudsdale." He chuckled awkwardly. "I... uh... tend to be somewhat gullible." He gulped. "Lots of colts and fillies loved to call me 'Stupid Leaves' as a foal. They meant it only in teasing, of course. But I found—as I grew up—that I more or less lived up to the monicker."

"Oh, dude..."

"I guess some things just never leave ya, huh?"

"Don't be getting all down on yourself!" Rainbow Dash shrugged. "So you lost a bet! So what?"

Stu squinted at her. "Why do I get the distinct feeling that you're not a mare who's used to losing?"

"Erm..." Rainbow bit her lip. "Well, to win some, you gotta lose some. And I've been on both sides of the finishing line, if you catch my drift."

"Pffft. Now you're just being humble."

"Better to be humble than self-deprecating." Rainbow waved. "Cloudsdale is behind you, dude. You're in Ponyville now. None of this Stupid Leaves nonsense. You deserve better than that."

"You th-think so?"

"Why not?" Rainbow smirked. "You're polite. You're helpful. You face multiple challenges with a stiff-upper lip. Heck... I'd even go so far to say that you're the loyalest stallion I've ever met."

"Loyalest... stallion..." Stu smiled dumbly. His tail flicked. "I kind of like the sound of that."

"Granted, some ponies likely philosophize to be super loyal you've gotta be super stupid as well..."

"Huh?"

"But hey! It all works for me!" Rainbow winked. "And I certainly know how to get by! Don't sell yourself short, buddy. Especially not over a measely soda."

"Heh. Thanks, Rainbow." He grinned. "You know, you're really—"

Just then, Applejack trotted up. "Well, lookie here! Glad to know y'all ain't dead tired after all that nonsensical gallopin'!"

"We're in it for the long run, Applejack," Stu said, nevertheless wheezing. "Don't count us out yet."

"I dun aim to. Here." Applejack lowered a ice-cold cup of soda into Stu's grasp. "That should bring more squeaks to your joints."

"Wow!" Stu blinked, cradling the cup with a bright grin. "Thanks!"

"Awwwwwwww no fair!" Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out. "I bet you'd make the kind of hoofball coach who would give all the foals trophies even though they lost the season!"

"Oh hush!" Applejack tilted the brim of her hat back. "We're all on the same team, ain't we?"

"Mmmmhmmm!" Stu nodded emphatically, slurping from his drink. He exhaled and looked up. "Where in Equestria did you get this?"

"From the vendor up a way's," Applejack said, pointing at the central buildings of the rest stop behind her. "They got some vittles too, if yer of a mind... or body."

"Shouldn't we get going on our way to Orlandoats?" Rainbow asked.

"Erm..." Applejack winced slightly, fidgeting. "Not quite so soon, y'all. Last night's supper isn't... exactly agreeing with me, so..."

"Ohhhhhhhh..." Rainbow nodded. "Go make apple seeds, girl. We'll hold up the fort."

"Thank ya kindly." Applejack shuddered, turning around and trotting swiftly towards the furthest building. "Whew-wee... times like this that I feel bad for Granny on a daily basis..."

"Heheheh..." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "Good thing we didn't bring a camera. That would have made for a killer entry in the scrapbook."

Stu Leaves stared off after Applejack, slurping from his straw.

"You know, now that I think about it, they only have one outhouse on Sweet Apple Acres." Rainbow rubbed her scalp, eyes thin in thought. "I mean, even with just Big Macintosh alone, you think that'd actually be enough?"

Stu fidgeted, eyes tracing the grass line beside the wagon.

"I suppose Apple Bloom could use a bedpan. Or a spittoon."

At last, Stu raised his lips from his straw and murmured, "Uhm... Rainbow Dash?"

"Hmmm?" She glanced over. "What?"

"You're Applejack's closest friend, aren't you?"

Rainbow blinked at that. She had to bite her lip extra hard to keep from blushing. "Uhm... wow... I guess. I-I mean, all things considered, yeah..." She smiled, wings twitching. "I suppose I am."

"So you've known her for a long time?"

"Long enough."

"Good." Stu Leaves squirmed, rolling the cup side to side in his forelimbs. "Because... because I was wondering..." He suddenly winced, his ears folding. "Oh... forget it."

"What?"

"Nothing. Really. It's nothing."

"Out with it, dude!" Rainbow Dash chuckled. She sloshed her drink around and prepared to take another sip. "We're on this road trip together, aren't we? No reason for us not to trust each other!"

Stu Leaves' brow furrowed. Finally, with a deep breath, he asked, "Do you think Applejack might be... m-might be interested in having a coltfriend?"

Plop! Rainbow Dash dropped her cup, spilling soda across the soft soil. "... ... ..." She blinked straight ahead. Her ears twitched, one after another.

"Or is she... y'know... not looking for a special somepony?"

Rainbow sighed long and hard. She breathed out the side of her muzzle. "Stupid Leaves..."

Stu glanced sideways at her. "What was that?"

"Come." She took the soda cup from his hooves and placed it down on the ground. "Fly with me."

"Uhhhh..."

She flapped her wings, lifting up into the sky. "We need to talk."

Stu gulped and smiled awkwardly. "Sure thing!" He darted after her as the two pegasi lifted up into a fluffy bed of clouds.

Comments

[unknownbore]

Here we go...

[RoboRed]

Hooboy...

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

i was wondering how long it would be before this happened.

Go easy on the poor guy, Dash. He's a good stallion.

It also might help if you'd just mare up and tell Applejack how you feel about her, featherbrain!

Geez!

And ponies call Scootaloo a chicken.........

[Shipmun]

Okay... Okay... Okay...
Just... Tell the truth right? Aww dang. There's no way out of this. If ya gotta tell him a lie, or a half truth, just try to not let it come back and bite you.
Who am I kidding? This is going to hurt for Rainbow no matter what. Probably Stu, too.

[Tchernobog]

Go make apple seeds, girl.

"Do you think Applejack might be... m-might be interested in having a coltfriend?"

MURDER DEATH KILL

Edit: well, there goes that speculation of mine ~

[Lightning Bearer]

Well, so much for that theory. Would it be too much to hope that Rainbow might actually be honest with him? Yeah, I thought so.

Also, this trip sure has been tough on Applejack's digestive system. Dunno if travel stress, plot contrivance, or omen of ills to come.

[TwilightUCrazy]

Aaaaand suddenly...

...THE GATES OF HELL SPEWED FORTH AND--

[Sheendough]

5432122 Something tells me that the bad stuff is already happening and that Rainbow and company are going to arrive to Ponyville to discover all that they missed out (possibly Sunset Shimmer?).

[RainbowJack2000]

Aha! I knew he was interested in AJ! Rainbow Dash better kick his sorry ass to the next town or something, or I will. My favorite imaginary shotgun is right next to me.

Don't worry Dash. If you don't kill him, I will...

[zaponator]

Aww. I feel bad for old Stu.

[Salad king]

Aw, rainbow is being super nice to him, they're like a happy group of friends.

"Colt friend" Hand me my shovel.

[YoshiFawful64]

And I was getting hopeful...

[Sam the Anti-Ninja]

Quickly! Somebody warn the fan! Sh*t is about to fly!

[Tchernobog]

5432061>>5432899 5432793 5432717 5432254 5432183 5432176 5432125 5432122 5432115 5432087 5432074

Worst of all? They're leaving the cart unattended. Unless Dash is keeping an eye on it from a distance.

[Fishberry]

[youtube= http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju9GQ4Tmz74]

[RainbowJack2000]

5433023
I didn't even think of that...
Well, sh*t.

[RoboRed]

5433023
...Ofuk.

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

5433023 This is true.

Forgot about that one.

[Picture_Perfectxx]

I was expecting it. But, dang... Oh boy, I'm excited.

[Jay_Baker]

Well let's hope that rainbow at least leaves him alive enough so he can cry for help

[Sheendough]

5433023 Fuck you, Chernov. Something tells me Skirts didn't plan that and now that you said it you jinxed us all. D:

[Future Regret]

I predict that Stu will leave at some point in this story. But now the question is will she tell him????????????

[DrEggnog]

This is the best soap opera ever.

Now that's not exactly saying much, but still. Damn am I wrapped up in it.

[Phoenix Kitten]

6210989 dude...this shits all over anything on tv right now.
Don't even deny.

[Dash32]

I knew this shit was bound to happen sooner or later. Rainbow dash is right. Stupid leaves.

[arancaytar]

Stupid Leaves

In which we finally learn Stu's full name.

...

Oh godfuckingdammit Skirts.

[DIRKWITHAGUN]

Stu Leaves' brow furrowed. Finally, with a deep breath, he asked, "Do you think Applejack might be... m-might be interested in having a coltfriend?"

stu i swear to fuck and all that is holy.