This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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Here we are seeing a normal day, But the author still makes it a very interesting compelling story
I LIKE
Good on you for being honest Prey!
LIAR!
And uff, those two awkward conversations. The one between crimson and prey was kinda funny, but Gloom's was just sad. That whole exchange was just a testament to how bad the relationship between them has gotten: Gloom isn't even sure what he's sorry about.
Hell yes. Also, side-note the plural of thesis isn't "thesis's", it's "theses". Sounds like... I'll stop right there.
But great chapter! I like it. I'll probably start up my rambling again, but not today.
Exemplary chapter, I always like reading your stuff.
Have a good one.
Well, no cliffhanger, yay!
This chapter was a bit boring but not bad. Felt as Prey was going about life preparing. I'm kinda wondering if discord would notice Prey. When and or if he does break out. Depends on if Prey has messed up the MLP timeline and changelings come first or not.
Eh, anyway congratulations on 700k word count! I only wish I could time travel to a time this story was done. Well, wait, I want to read more but I never want it to end... Anyways, I was going to go to sleep an hour ago but I saw a new chapter so I read this instead. It's now 6 am and I'm tired. Funny, as soon as it's the school weekend, I end up staying up all night.
I wish I could like and favorite a story more than once. This is easily the highlight of my weekend every time I see it in my feed. I can't recall a single chapter I've disliked since I began reading months ago. Even the occasional chapter where the pace slows down only makes me anticipate the next build up even more.
No, it's an indicator of Prey being a troll.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that.
Gotta wait two weeks again for another chapter :(
Still, I love these slower paced ones, it really makes this world feel lively, especially with the main canon just being an afterthought.
Noticed error in the conversation between Carton, Scenic, Crimson and Prey;
“-Saffron Swirl was very nice. She asked us to not go spreading her working here around in case the newspapers heard-'
"Prey told me." Crimson shrugged.
"Prey?" Saffron started in surprise, looking at the lamb, "But, how did, uh...?"
Think Saffron here was meant to be Carton Juice
All round nice calm chapter for contrast, love Prey struggling to play along during therapy and retraining himself from doing something petty, rash but oh so satisfying
Well that was amusing in its own way
though i'm a might concerned about this line
Is this heralding the eventual introduction of the Bearers, cause if so that is gonna turn out like a nitroglycerin landmine
10397626
"It takes a good writer to make an exciting extraordinary scene.
But it takes a great writer to make an ordinary scene exciting."
I don't remember from where this quote is, but I probably botched it.
I'm concerned about the rift in Gloom's relationship with Prey. The fact that he isn't even sure what he's sorry about it a good indication. He didn't apologize for pressuring and accusing Prey, and he isn't sorry for undermining Prey fear and forcing him to face the wolf wood entity again.
I don't think this rift can be easily mended. I hope it won't lead to the ISND's collapse.
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Ah, you are quite correct. I have corrected that name now to Carton Juice. Thanks for the help. 😄
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Yeah, not everything can be, *Phew phew*💥 *crash* *Boom* *Sirens* And then I was like *KaPOW!*⚡ and he was like *Blegh!* 🔥 RAAWWR! ~Random explosions in the background.~
And yes, no cliffhanger ending either this time around. I've fixed my wicked ways. 😅
10397724
Watership Down! I recognised your prof. pic. and then also the name. That was the greatest book of my childhood. 🐇
Oh, and on an unrelated note, I'm happy you liked the chapter.
Such a warrent sounds like exactly the thing to allow them to enter Crimson's apartment. Confusing.
Hadn't thought about that. Just the way characters tend to interact with main characters, it may unconsciously have seemed to me. Now I wonder too why she like the ISND so much.
- ha, he called them tools...
- He's a funny guy, that Prey, but the implication seems a bit cruel to his friend who resents himself for being a liar. He must have forgotten.
Typos
"really did adopt"
"still had nothing to do..."
not strictly a typo, but please, "nothing I'm saying is restricted".
- "keep" in present tense? Seem more appropriate if it concerned veropedes in general, not this specific veropede, "the" veropede.
"species'."
Did you really intend for that first "minute" to be the adjective, meaning "small"?
"disapproved".
10398048
Wow, that's a few I missed there. 😅 Thank you for taking the time to lay them out so I can correct them.
Strange Happenstance is foolish he already got "his" gem back why provoke those who directly serve princess Luna seem foolish and there no end goal for him, what ever he playing at it cost him in the long ruin with prey
Thanks for the chapter!
I can't tell if this is an indication they will meet, or they won't. I hope they will, cause there is not enough popcorn on the planet.
Saffron gasped—>Carton gasped
Hmmmm...
I really hope the necklace part won't bite him in the ass later on, he just assumed he gave it back in the presence of Luna didn't he ? Hope he didn't create a loose end here.
Speaking of loose end, Lemon is becoming her own thing, very dangerous prey, crush her mind a second time, would be better.
I am very glad to have this story updated this time, we got entertainment, cut passages, Prey got his childhood dream.
Excellent chapter, again.
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Heh. Yeah. I loved that book. Love that book. The original film with John Hurt as Hazel is also spectacular.
I would enjoy seeing a scene where one or more of the Wonderbolts (preferably Spitfire) approach Crimson and ask why he keeps rejecting their oh-so-generous once-in-a-lifetime offers, to which he bluntly responds that he doesn't care. Rainbow Dash being present and freaking out when Crimson says this would also be amusing.
I always love reading another chapter! Keep up the great work!!
That one got a good hearty laugh from me. While normally I'd be sad avout the shorter chapter, I was supposed to go to bed about five hours ago so really it's for my own good that I'm not getting sucked unto a twenty thousand word mini-epic of a chapter. Not that I wouldn't enjoy that.
I'm guessing Celestia hears of Prey's new hobby, discovers who he is and hoofs him off to Twilight.
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Saw that film when I was less than ten, after having had the book read to me by my parents. 😱 Scarred for life.
10399624
Yep. Same here.
You think the things we see as children influence our adulthood?
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I don't think so.
So far the story is carefully written so the adventures of the ISND and the mane 6 don't overlap, to the point where Prey won't even learn their names.
It's nice this way, it allow for the story to be "somewhat canon" since nothing seem to contradict anything in the original story.
it's the charm of this piece, it exploits perfectly the original work to build on it, it's not some kind of addition I often compare to modern architecture where old houses seem to grow a tumor.
i.ibb.co/dfX456q/Img-1598291213883.jpg
10398048
As proofreader, it's MY job to catch these things, but it seems like a few always slip past me
10402323
Been betareader, happened to me too.
10403559
Hmm, I don't even remember why I posted such an old comment
Question.
What inspired you to write this? Did you wake up one day and where like, "What if I wrote a story about a sheep with mind powers?" Or was it more on the lines of you getting high and where like, "Yo dude. . . what if, like, I wrote a story about a sheep. . . but he has, like, mind powers dude?"
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And is a completely sweet and kind hearted child that just loves all the ponies...
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😊 Well, mostly, I decided after reading a whole bunch of other peoples stories on FiM, and I found I hated something about all of the good ones... They Ended! Why'd they have to end??
Bare in mind, I'm a big fan of most good Grimdark style FiM stories. ( Who knew, right?) So with that in mind, and seeing all the good bits in these stories, (as well as all the bits I didn't like), I decided, "Hey, I keep thinking, 'wouldn't it be cool if this happened in that story'?" And then I thought, "Why don't I do exactly that then?"
But if you're asking why Prey in particular... Well, ponies in the show are racist. There is no where near enough attention given to the other sentient species in the world. And, basically, it really annoyed me how ponies get away with everything for next to no effort: Problem? Magic. Big Bad Guy? Elements of Harmony laser beam, which is magic. MC of the show? Magically gifted prodigy unicorn. Rulers of the land? Super unicorns.
...
...
...
...Hey, why's there no stories with a sheep as an MC? Hmm... Yeah, let's make him a homicidal little lamb. Hmm... And let's give him mind magic. Yeah.
10407513
Lol.... hmm. Is it bad I kinda want Clear Minds portrait of Prey to be the front cover? Everyone comes for the adorable fluffball and instead they get... well...
ctl.s6img.com/society6/img/zA0ivu-yIovSBQFANCUBMaYa9Xo/w_700/prints/~artwork/s6-original-art-uploads/society6/uploads/misc/7e7877b4d802497b8e7dc70e75c16fe6/~~/cut-but-psycho1950754-prints.jpg
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Damn, that kinda hit my heart. There are so many good stories out there that have ended unexpectedly. And I like your motivation for why writing this, going against the trope norms and making something of your own from the ground up. Your like a miracle from the Writing God.
. . .
Don't leave us.
i.ibb.co/wQNrgnv/nBf9AAs.png
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I don't know about you, but I prefer stories that end, what I don't like is stories that stop without an ending.
The stories I like the least are those that refuse to end. That just keep going endlessly. There's is only so much you can milk a story before it becomes meaningless. Now, I don't mean I dislike long stories, not at all, there are many long stories I like, but when it just stops going anywhere, it just, losses something.
Thankfully, from the look of it, this is not one of those stories.
Lilly blossoms problem could be solved by getting laid.
Clear mind is pony Bob ross
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Man, i just love your memes.
Your lines should be put up in a museum.
10569860
I love making them! I oughta do more though.
That Prey's part, is Gossamer? <3
> his scared cheek
scarred