This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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I hope that the ponies get what they deserve. And that Celestia realises her mistake.
That feeling I had when I saw the notification about THIS story, it is what they call happiness.
Thank you for it, I'll wait for the next one with unhinged trepidation.
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Well you're in luck! Since this chapter was kind of delayed, the next one will still be next week end.
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You managed to make my day.
Twice.
You know, there is so much symbolism in this it makes me hard... ok bad analogy. But with the people ponies stuff its so fun to read. I think the most notable sybolic part of this book was the lemon cupcake, I have some ideas what that means but I'll let you know when I find the most accurate one. This book I genuinely liked and I wont leave any time soon or at all for that matter. Till next time.
Great chapter
Nice to see Prey in a more civilian environment. Buying sweets and dare I say enjoying himself a bit in a safe environment a bit. It was heartwarming even.
And if I remember Prey should have some nasty scars all over his body . That could lead to some interesting reactions if they ever have health checkups or overly close hugs.
Keep up the good work and thanks for the chapter.
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More please
I'm the reason that chapter 23.1 was late. Anyone interested can find the reason in my blog
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/212524/Sweetolebob18
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And I'm the reason it was in such an appalling grammatical and spelling mess before it was kindly edited by the afore mentioned Sweetolebob18
I didn't even realise how many mistakes there where until they were all pointed out. So thank you. š°
I'll never not love how awkward the trio are. Except for Gloom's huge no-no. Prey really should just reveal that his family's deceased. His dream could be interpreted as longing for their return...a dream a lot of people would probably have, especially kids. It'd also build a fabricated picture of why he would have had to resort to stealing, and why he has strong feelings against ponies, which might get the others off him for more negative behavior, but probably also make them care much more for him (which I highly doubt he'd want). I think the trade-off would be worth it, though. Maybe it'd even get some ponies to realize they have it really good, and that Celestia isn't infallible.
It's adorable that Prey loves candy. It's illogical, but it'd be real funny if that became his Scooby Snack.
"Prey, do all this paperwork, and I'll get you those gingersnaps you wanted to try."
"Fine. But I expect them by tomorrow night."
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A possible consideration...Except Prey is supposed to be dead. He's only nine years old, but also over 60. He's still a foal, but he was in Dreverton for 57 years. (What's that about?) How would he explain that if asked who his family was, and how he know's about the Resistance war?
*Tune in next time, on; 'Prey and a Lamb!'*
Candy, sherberts, sweets, fudge, chocolate, snaps, twists, doughnuts, lolipops, candies, gobstoppers, jaw breakers, licorices, popcorn, ice-ream, all these goodies await Prey! šš°š¦šŖš©š§š”šØš¹
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On one hand, due to Prey's paranoia he'd expect them to run a background on anything he tells them about himself. On the other, it wouldn't be a tough sell, but it'd be something he should tell someone else first, and then let Gloom and Crimson hear of it through the grapevine. Of course, this is a moot point now that he's sent a letter to his 'family' and it wouldn't work any longer.
Lemon punk?
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Ah ha ha! Thank you for finding that mistake and letting me know. Lemon Punk is quite a good one! š¤£
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itās free real estate
Hmm, thatās not right
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Ah, thank you for pointing out that little mistake. I've corrected it now thanks.
Is anyone else feeling like this is a familiar conversation?
Edit: Figured it out, makes me think of the vultures from Disney's The Jungle Book
Edits in boooold.
I'm not sure what to do here, but the royal guards 'unlocking them' simply doesn't flow in this order. Perhaps you could add "freshly unlocked" to the adjectives describing the gate? Them in this instance sounds like the guards unlocking themselves.
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I had a look at the passage you meant with the Guards opening the gates. The "fresh" was supposed to mean "freshly rotated in Royal Guards starting their shift". Did a bit of editing to that passage in general, because as you said, it didn't really flow. And thank you for pointing out those mistakes. š
Man, I am loving Prey. The entire idea that he is evil because he had no opportunity to be good is great. He's a villain by necessity, not by choice.
"But this was Canterlot. It was ruled by the Sun Goddess, who jealously safe guarded her little ponies from reality. There was no way the Sun Wolf would let something dangerous like a monster disgusted as a statue inside her capital city. She would know straight away, and like a mother wolf, would reek swift retribution on the unfortunate creature suicidal enough to set claw inside her den."
- (Nervously looks at statue of Chaos God...... Nervously looks straight ahead.....)
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*Meanwhile, in Canterlot*
Ah poor Gloom. I dont think the guy has any friends.
LOL! Ooh-ho-ho-ho! If only you knew, Prey, if only you knew... Celestia is not the all powerful and wise alicorn you make her out to be far from it.
and mind magic is one of the best ways to do that.
āthey know who i am? not anymore!ā
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"I am not the lamb you are looking for."
I do quite wonder how gossamer would do as a changeling with needing love to survive, but are able to change into any creature they want.
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He would be the most sneakiest of sneaky sneaks with the shapeshifting power!
Getting others to love him to eat?... Eh, not so much. ā¤ š
i miss Fleece </3
xd jaja poor Prey jaja
jaja Prey!!!! jajaja
<3 i love you
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i've loved your words <3
Must be a popular alley for shadow business
āDonāt blink. Blink and your dead. Thereāre fast, faster than you can believe. Donāt turn your back, donāt look away, and donāt blinkā
You want "candies", not "candy's".
"Safeguarded", not "safe guarded".
You've got one "Canter lot" as well.
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Ah-ha-ha š My bad. Thankyou for the help.