This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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Make them fight each other
Thanks for the chapter :)
Was a great read. Things are coming to a head. We are finals at the sneak peak from like 15 chapters back, had reasonable suspicions that the Baloth would be involved :P
And may the word please give Prey more time to prepare so he is not put in a No Win scenario again.
He may do things everyone would regret otherwise
So we've come full circle now, I can't wait for them to finally get some rest. I wonder how Luna will react to this development.
Delightful. Omg I need more.
Aaaargh! So! Many! Cliffhangers!
Ah, a new chapter, always glad to see those.
Now it's a free for all, maybe some reinforcements will comme ? I mean the captain's desk was replaced by a giant leg after all, should be enough to foster some investigation I guess.
This is also getting worse and worse, no wonder it's the last chapter of this arc, at this point they could just drop dead of a heart attack at any time.
Great chapter, as always.
Yasssss a new chapter!
10238359
Ah, I think you mean second to last chapter. The next chapter will be the last in this Arc.
Glad you enjoyed it, (once again), although it is getting progressively more depressing. But I'm almost where I want to be! 🤗 When I first started writing this story, this coming scene was one of those I envisioned and wanted to get to.
Scenic channeling his inner Piccolo. "Dodge!"
I have two theories for the future:
1 - Prey finds out that the reason there was no reinforcements was because the Royal Guard deemed it unnecessary since they believed that the leg that arrived, via the message in a bottle, was proof of the ISND capabilities of the situation and that the guard decided in a vote that they did not need to worry about the border town.
Or an event in the show such as Discord or the Gala (which feels more insulting) is happening at that time so the guards are choosing/ordered to focus on that. (Either way it strengthens Prey, as maybe the teams, dislike of Equestria)
2 - Prey and the surviving ISND escape and make their way to safety without ever beating the warlock. They then learn they are being pulled off this mission as they are being replaced by Celestia's own choice 'soldier' (AKA the Mane 6, whom use the elements of harmony to save the day with no blood shed or lives lost, and everyone lives). Of course there would be a strong reaction from the ISND members once they discover how easy Celestia's chosen saved the day
I can practically hear his adorable squeaky little voice saying "not a pony" at three in the morning, followed by the blissful silence of eternal slumber.
I know it's knitpicky as hell, but it stood out to me nonetheless. "Ovine" would be more appropriate here.
10238489
Eeeeh... I don't know, using your only mean of emergency communication as a tactical black hole sounds a little too serious, even more if only one leg of an obvious malicious construct went through, especially since the town is obviously too poor to afford a deluxe golem for the fields, and since no unicorn would get his hands dirty.
Not like incompetence is out the window though, but I lean more toward sabotage
I don't think so, the story didn't break the canon show for now, and I think that's the point of it, the ISND are black ops, they're the one dealing with threats while the useless 6 is busy being nitpicky about the terms of a sleepover.
then again I can be surprised, guess we'll juste have to wait 336 painfully empty hours for the awnser, maybe
10238525
in my opinion calling ISDN black operations when they can't even kill is an insult to other black operations
(sorry for my horrible english)
For gods sake you are too good at making cliffhangers!
Anyway that was an incredibly tense chapter and I am really excited to read the next chapter in twoish weeks time. Until then I hope everything goes well for you :-)
10238295
Of course the baloth would be involved. Have you never heard of Chekhov's gun? If a gun is featured in the first act the third act must have the gun be fired. A baloth is featured in the first act of this arc so now the resolution requires the baloth to be let loose.
Damnable cliffhangers!
'Peak' of performance, not 'peek' of performance. Only typo I noticed, doesn't mean there's not more.
Great chapter; can't wait for the Baloth to make an appearance. Hopefully it's not interested enough in Prey and Crimson to chase them outside its territory after it's eaten the Reaper King.
Truly exemplary.
Another display of your literary expertise.
I do, however, feel that those that come out of the situation, alive, will be forever changed. Whether they "win" or "lose" against the Warlock - I feel anything/everything they haven't dealt with will likely be brushed under the rug or, if Fate really is that cruel, solved in some 'magical' way that leaves no casualties and costs no resources. That, I feel, is a powerful piece of character development for the survivors: not for their efforts to have been for nought and the escape of the Warlock - I think that, whilst interesting development; representing a new "nemesis" for the remnants, is not quite as interesting. No. If the former eventuality were to occur, not only would Prey's entire outlook on "Pony-kind" be affirmed, but the sheer and utter despair; the helplessness and the realisation that 'Everything we did, everything we strived for, was for nothing... And yet, this was always an option?'. I feel that'd "open the eyes" of the survivors, at least marginally, to Prey's point of view. Sowing the seeds of disillusionment and all that.
Either way, there is a proverbial boat-load of character development.
Moving back to the chapter itself, the poison cloud epiphany was a lovely "tie-up" for that mystery regarding the corpses. And so well implemented too!
As usual, exemplary work my dear. Absolute top-notch.
As always, take care of yourself and I look forward to the next installation; awaiting its release with bated breath.
Regards, Laika.
P.S. Sorry for not writing one of my customary rambles on the previous chapter- I can assure you that I was most impressed, as usual, with the writing and storytelling at work. Also I KNEW IT! Bloody Border Guards were shifty bastards from the get-go, though I must say, some... A lot of their actions are somewhat confusing for Changelings...
Anyways, ciao ciao all, and I shall see you later.
Man I love this story
Love this story so much. I can't wait for more!
This is my first comment on a story so please bear with me!
This is one of the best stories I have read on Fimfiction to date and I’ve been on this site for nearly eight years now.
The plot feels well thought out so far and the pacing is just right, though some might find it slow with how gradually it progresses. The mixture of detail and action is just so that it keeps one interested and I can’t help the feeling of wanting more! The details are not so in-depth to go on for hours and the actions are not so simple to sound robotic. They feel natural and evoke feelings very well without saying the feeling outright!
The characters feel unique and inspired. Each seems relatable in some way or form. (Personally I relate to Crimson with his social awkwardness. I’m much the same way at times ether not picking up social cues or just saying the wrong thing a the wrong time.) The character development has a natural swing to it that deepens as things progress.
Then there is the general ambiance of the story in general.
The feelings evoked are intense and rich enough for one to practically get sucked into a scene and feel as if they were there themselves. (Or at least I did.)
There is probably so much more I could say about this story so far that I could go on for hour if I thought long enough. This was just stuff of the top of my head!
Anyways, what I would like to say is I enjoy this story immensely and, for a first story, it is fantastic!
I can’t wait for the next chapter! Keep up the good work!
(Sorry if this got a bit to long.)
10238728
Ah, corrected now. Thank you!
10238489
Ha ha! The second option would definitely be funny. Warlock defeated by friendship rainbow cannon! I imagine it would go something like this:
---
Prey stared.
*Eye twitches*
"What."
---
As for what the real reason for the delay of any Night Guard reinforcements is. Well, that's what the coming chapters are for discovering. 😁
10238301
The time is indeed now! Just one more chapter in this Arc. 😆
10239216
🍉 Well, thank you very much for the praise. I'm glad to hear you think I've managed to create a story atmosphere without outright actually writing it, just having it implied. That is something I try to aim for and is one of the harder targets to hit. (That, and spelling, but that's just me)
10238824
Yes, why would Shimmer get himself killed for the ISND? What were the changelings reasons? Was it a simple mistake? Was it part of some grand plan? Or just no plan?
Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Prey's going to get a nice, straight forward answer. 😒 Hmmm.
---
As to what comes after all this despair and failure? And how will each of the ISND individually react? Uh, well, I haven't written that far yet, but I will be doing so!
I hope I'm not the only one enjoying the gritty drawn out campaign that this has become. This is so fun to read xD
Usually I like to read happier things. Things about helping bunnies, things about friendship, things about love.
This story, despite having little to none of those happier things, keeps me drawn in. The characters are all unique, all people from different places with different goals and different ideals. The setting is well executed, having a completely different view from MLP as a whole, while still filling the roll of existing in the universe. The pacing of every scene is deliberate and enticing, causing the eyes to roam from word to word in search of more details. The atmosphere and descriptions reflect the tone of the situations to a T.
The quality of the story holds it all perfectly together. A view from the distorted mind of a runt, given unwanted purpose helping those he fears and hates.
It may not be what I prefer to read nowadays, but it's too enticing and well done for me not to. So thank you for the wonderful story, and I cannot wait to see how this arc ends.
10237008
He thought he'd sent it & I thought that the reason that he HADN'T sent it was that he wasn't ready yet
These things happen. SORRY & we'll try not to let it happen again
Prey is going to have some troubles IF they get out of this.
He's had to reveal too many of his abilities.
At first, Gloom & Scenic were
"Luna must have had her reasons for putting him in the ISND,
but damned if I know what they were"
+ "Why would anyone put a cute little lamb in prison?"
Now, they're "Luna had good reasons"
+ "So did the person who put him in prison."
Wonderful chapter as usual.... but why is this chapter 50.03 instead of 50.3? My OCD is stuck staring at that
10239864
Uh, there was no reason, it was just a typo by me. Hit " 0 " one too many times. 😅
I think the second "I" might be extra here.
I don't agree that this arc it too long, the pacing exactly matches what I expect from this story. In my opinion, ending any sooner wouldn't have been quite desperate enough for the character interactions you're building. If the arc was shorter, how would we end up with Crimson having his profound realization? No, the length matches the story and helps reinforce the point of "we should be dead and we still might die" ad infinitum. Life's not fair, you don't beat long odds without losing something in the process.
Of course it's depressing! An entire frontier town has been wiped out and the ISND has suffered 100% casualties (at least, if the wounded had time to be wounded), and their promised reinforcements aren't coming. At absolute best they might get to live, I certainly don't see them fixing the situation. That's gritty and real and depressing and satisfying as hell. Definitely one of the reasons I love this story.
10242022
Ah, thanks for pointing that miss-type out.
Nice that you enjoy the length of the story, since, it is kinda' a long story so I hope anyone whose read this far likes it
It was just that I wanted to get to the next scene. The next chapter is one of those I've had in mind from the start of the story and I'm really exicted about it, is all. 😁
10242915
Well that's good, because while I can't definitively speak for everybody, I'm pretty sure all of us readers are excited too!
Me: "Hm, what's this weird story on the featured page? A story about a sheep villain? Holy crap, this story is long. Eh, I'm not doing anything right now, might as well give it a look even if I'll probably get bored and drop it eight or so chapters in."
*Three days and what is definitely an unhealthy amount of time reading text from a screen later*
*begins sobbing as I realize that I've finally gotten caught up right as the arc is reaching its climax*
This story. This freaking story. I know that you've gotten a bunch of these comments already, but now you're gonna have to deal with another.
This story is amazing. I love the characters, the development of said characters, the world you've built, the masterful way in which you've tackled difficult subject matter, everything. There are definitely flaws (the grammar mistakes, for example), but I have very little to criticize about the story itself. The only complaint I have is that I'm gonna have to wait for more updates. Don't rush it, though. Take your time, I definitely won't complain. May my upvote, follow, and favorite fuel your motivation in the mean time. I shall await your next update with bated breath.
Now that I've praised your story, I'll move onto two hopes I have for the story (but seriously, do whatever you want. it is your story, after all).
1. Prey's destiny: I think Prey will ultimately be redeemed, but not in the traditional sense. He can't simply go back to being Gossamer even if he's blasted with the Elements because Gossamer and Prey have been inescapably bound together by all of the trauma and evil he's endured/inflicted. I think if he ultimately does end up going chaotic good, then he'll have to accept both sides of himself and have people around him who are willing to stick with him even if all of his evil is revealed. Given the fact that the ISND has been mentally and emotionally thrashed in the past two arcs, it's possible that his comrades will be forced into a position that will allow them to understand Prey (to an extent). Of course, this sort of redemption isn't likely to happen without a whole bunch of relapses, revenge, and painful truths.
2. Lilly Blossom: I am firmly in the camp that wants Lilly to live and remain in the ISND. Why? Two reasons. First, the character development that she could go through would be amazing to watch. While having her die would certainly rattle the rest of the ISND even further, I think the rest of this arc did a fine enough job at doing that. Seeing her survive, realize the folly of her beliefs, and slowly work to become an actual soldier would be a joy to watch. Second, her new attitude about Prey. If she does end up idolizing Prey for managing to narrowly get all of them out alive, I can already anticipate the humor. Even if the forest crushed her childish beliefs into dust, I can see the remnants of that outlook being focused onto him. At first, she wouldn't know what to do and would simply be silent around him. Then she'd become his number-one fan and make every effort to make him approve of her (enthusiastically supporting his (not evil) ideas, trying to copy some of his mannerisms, etc.), her enthusiasm unaffected by Prey's disdain for both her personality and race. She could also stick up for him, which would irritate him to no end. For example, someone goes to touch him and Prey prepares his usual response, only for Lilly to smack the hoof away and yell "Don't touch him!" He'd then reply by saying "shut up, I can speak for myself! And don't touch me!" In short, I want her around for both development and comedic reasons.
Also, Luna's gonna have to kick it into overdrive to help everyone cope with their trauma after they get home.
10243974
Nice to hear that the weird looking sheep story was interesting enough to hold your attention for (just over) 600K words. That's certainly no light commitment to reading. 😄 You're also lucky (or unlucky) to have picked up the story at a good time, because this Arc is nearly at its completion.
Most people seem to want Lilly to survive, same as you, so that's probably what I'm going to do. As to what development she'll get, and how long it'll take (story timeline wise) is less clear. IDK yet. I have certainly been given lots of ideas.
And once again, I hope that you and all readers like the story and where it ends up. Not going to promise a happy 'Friendship is Magic' ending though! 🎃😈💀
Its going to be a lot harder to be reading this now due to device problems, so I apologize for not witnessing your awesome work the second its out. But, you can have this meme to make up for it.
i.ibb.co/FbGKYXs/Img-1590653166034.jpg
I thought I recognized the names...
Are you using MTG cards as inspiration? If so, that is cool as fuck, I like it!
11879147
Why yes, I was at this time. 😄 Well spotted.