This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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I anger, but I wait eagerly for the next chapter
When you said that there will be a few days delay I expect a few days delay not a barely one day delay.
Your speed never ceases to amaze me.
Wouldn't the reason Lemon was halted be important?
Know the legal status and perception of your pieces to better use them?
Things gonna get bloody soon.
Lemon pink probably stole it
Solar guards getting involved now as well, the pieces are being moved
...
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Well thanks needs to go to my editor too for rushing through it with me so as to get it out this fast. 😄
Yup. That there sure is legalese. And it takes effect merely by receiving it, that's thorough. Sure would be a shame if...
... the people who wrote it didn't build a gaping loophole into every clause, thus rendering it worthless. You'd think that since they got it right in the first sentence they'd have kept it up, but no! They just decided to make their restrictions apply only to ponies. That's just downright considerate.
And now Prey takes action! Doing something! Because cliffhanger! I'd be upset, but honestly I'm starting to expect them. Still wondering what Pink is up to.
Thanks for the chapter!
Your going to kill off crimson aren’t you?
Perhaps you're thinking "that if Carton Juice kills me".
Anyways, exemplary stuff. I had a crawling feeling that the investigation/warrant for Crimson wasn't resolved just yet. Awfully inconvenient stuff. But, to paraphrase Christian Bale in American Psycho: Prey would probably like to stab them to death and play around in their blood. Perhaps I overexaggerate, but I still feel I make a valid point.
As for whosoever is moving 'against Prey', well, it could be any number of things; coincidence, malicious intent, or merely the "law" being carried out. Lovely stuff. Felt my stomach actually turn when I read "Solar Guard", so very well done indeed.
Excellent execution and writing, as always. Take care.
Thank you writer and thank you editor!
I sincerely doubt that this is their last attempt. Remembering what Princess Luna said, defiance will NOT end well for Prey.
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Maybe.
Prey certainly didn't tell her to, but she's been acting on her own lately.
IMO, Prey is being WAY too hard on Luna. I'm not even sure that she knows about this & fairly sure that she will insist on getting to the bottom of this, at the least insisting that the Guard find out if Crimson was really guilty or not & not let him be railroaded.
I disagree, I see trickery in chess all the time.
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This is Prey you're talking about. Paranoid, cynical, hates everyone as soon as he's made aware of their existence. Why would you expect any different?
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I wouldn't. But, IMO, Luna has made the ISND her pet project, to show Celestia that she can have good ideas. She takes pride in their successes & won't like their being dissed like this. I expect her hoof to stomp on someone HARD when Crimson is cleared.
Just my thoughts on "What next?"
I’m sure Prey could be a master in chess, he could beat them all in 6 moves.
Know
If carton
Not worse
Telling your first friend you'll help them hide a body... Over lunch.
Oh, didn't realize it was about time for a new chapter!
The small talk between Prey and Crimson was great. I’ve been looking forward to that since I started reading and it was everything I hoped it would be.
The intrigue is building, this will be interesting. If Vanish is lying about the necklace being stolen again. I hope karma hits him in the head with a foam bat, repeatedly.
Question how would ponies in your universe react to a pony that was physically ugly, maneless, with a white goatee and tail, severe scarring that cover 40% of his body, these scars include but are not limited to fire burns, acid burns, stab wounds, a facial scar that divides the left side of his face from his right, foot long scars, and three different bite marks from very large creatures, and missing an ear.
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I can’t believe I missed that... oh if he doesn’t use that loophole at some point in the future I’ll be sad
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Thank you, as always, for making me aware of these mistakes. Fixed now. 👍
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How would they react? Hmm... Let's think about this very hard. Hmm... Zebra's are basically different coloured ponies, literally. They just have different coloured coats, and we all know how well they reacted to Zecora.
So how would they react? "Monster! Disgusting! Oh the horror!" And then run out of the building. Foals would scream and cry, the afflicted would be shunned, and good luck getting service at the till.
Unfortunate, some humans react much the same to wounded war verterans or fire victims even in today's society. 🙁 So ponies would be all that but X10 times worse.
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Pony this, Pony that, Pony you, Pony me, Pony all of us! Welcome to Equestria! (Make sure you're legally a pony on your passport or you're not welcome)
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Thankyou, (and thanks to the editor too of course) and have a nice day yourselves too. 😄
During this chapter, I was thinking of how unfair this social class system works. Those that have power can do whatever they wanted while those not born nobles or of some higher position and mere tools they can do whatever they wanted with. It's surprising Celestia doesn't realize how bad this system is.
While she may be a good ruler, she is blind to so much within her own nation... and yet she's probably ruled Equestria since the dawn of time and doesn't see the broken system. She probably doesn't realize Prince Bluebloods attitude to others(unless that entire episode at the gala was an act to keep ponies from swarming him trying to gain his favor.)
Still, makes me want to strangle the one behind it all.
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Thanks for answering I appreciate it. If you were wondering the description was a pony version of the character in my profile picture, Wulfric. He’s the first and longest D&D character I’ve ever played. Unfortunately his luck is absolutely atrocious and has caused him to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time in most of the parties fights.
I figured the ponies would react poorly to seeing him, but wasn’t sure how bad that reaction would be. He’s certainly been treated worse. He’d probably fine this social shunning to be annoying due to how inconvenient I’d make daily life.
I always found this treatment to be disappointing. But I can really do is be the better man and treat these people with the decency and respect they deserve.
Im scared for both crimson and prey ( lemon pink) too, though this may not be the jungle he survived this is one is another terms of ruthlessness. I hope he can avoid the beasts of the concrete jungle before they bite into him.
Could this be a minor plot hole? I don’t recall Gloom being warned by Pray about Strange Happenstance, just Crimson. Could be some talking off screen but why’d Pray talk about the Royal inspectors coming to the flat when they didn’t really meet Crimson? Or am I mixing up the characters or events of the pushy blank mind in the hospital, and the matchmaker that Pray saw through reading and editing minds?
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In answer: The 'pushy blank mind guy' is Strange Happenstance, the mystery private detective whose motives are still largely unknown.
The royal inspectors are a Government group the Royal Guard brought in to investigate the Night Guard in retaliation for the Night Guard undertaking their own investigation of the Royal Guards. Tit for tat, if you will.
No, no one else knows about those few who turned up at Prey's door with a warrant to search Crimson's flat. Prey dealt with them and their memories, didn't tell anyone else about the visit.
When Prey says:
He's guessing. He doesn't actually know whose behind it, just trying to convince Cpt. Nighthawk. A bit complicated if you loose track, I'll grant you, so sorry for that. 😅 Hope this helps.
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Thanks. I’m not as good as keeping names straight as actions or personality. Does not help that there has been a build up of ponies of different relationships and on top of the already varied cast. I actually considering rereading the story from the start just because how enjoyable it is and to better read some character introductions.
I do like how that feeling of that narrative trope (Damocles knife?) is hanging over Prey’s head. Pairs well with his war paranoia and contrast MLP usual tones. Still getting frustrated or anticipating some stuff and planted details returning after so long. like how Pray “almost” meets Celestia’s student.
Yikes, the same solar guard came back, and he kept a fraction of his memories.
Lemon is also a threat Prey, I mean even without meta reading where he said "poison smell like lemons" she used the word "detained" please wake up, how can you be so careless, argh.
Anyway, excellent chapter, again and always.
Can't wait to see the next one.
We all think that Lemon is concocting a diabolical scheme, but she's actually been working on a "Prey & Pink" scrapbook with friendship bracelets to go with it.
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Ha ha, that's great! That would be halarious.
Another awesome chapter! Things are definitely heating up!
Not only damocles' gun, but also chekovs' sword
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He probably could. Add in the fact that he could read their minds & know their plans & he could probably be next world champion
Ok but imagine if the ISND actually caught a break? What would happen?
I bet the sun would explode.
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Hello again, and I see you're now all caught up! 😄 Hope you have enjoyed the ride so far. But seriously, what would the ISND be if not; "Overworked, over stressed, over burdened, and out of their depth?"
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Yea, all caught up.... If you could just release another 700,000 words, I'd appreciate it.
It's not an addiction, I swear.
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I shall endeavour to do my best to please. Good news though, from what I roughly have planned, this is only probably only about half the story so far.
...
Only half.... only half... only half... ...I have so much writing left to do. 😂
wow I can't believe I read the whole thing in 9 days. I can't wait for more :D
i ship em!
you ship everypony
I'm watching you, Lemon!
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My hope that it was a pleasant 9 days then. Will have to wait and see what happens with Lemon Pink.
The very week Prey's very first tender bonds of friendship are formed they are cruelly torn away. This should be good.
I am growing increasingly concerned that I am nearing caught up with this story. Oh dear.
Chekhov's gun!!!!!!! i thought i wouldn't see that name again ; The magdalena pony <3
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Like a bad penny, he just keeps turning up.