This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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WOW, what a long chapter! Hell yes!
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First biiiitches!
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I think it's the longest one yet.
NEW CHAPTER
YES
I HAVE 15 - 30 MINUTES.
I REALLY LIKE THIS
sorry
Did someone steal the amulet?
Or did it return to its owner?
I can see crimson getting it back when “lord vanished” tries something
Royal guards called, probably"Lord" vanish pulling some strings to try and get crimson In trouble for "stealing" his heirloom
gloom coughed
Thanks for the update!
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Yes, except that IMO he's trying to pressure Crimson into telling him "How do you activate this?".
I also have to wonder "How will Luna take his flouting her direct order to leave Crimson alone?".
The Times may have been loyal, but so have the thestrels.
Luna, why you being such a biiiiitch?
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Crimson shouldn't need to tell him, but if he's forced to tell him how to activate it, just don't mention the side effects of extreme exhaustion, and potential death with overuse (i assume that can happend if you become dependent on it/ overuse it)
Also wondering what Prey is going to do about the Royal guards, i mean they're probably all too incompetent to even think about asking Prey anything at all, even though he was the one who helped Crimson activate it in the first place
Also, as a sort of revenge for Crimson being forced to give it away, can't he have Lemon Pink steal it (temporarily) have her Carve a rune into it that say, drains the wearers energy unless it's Crimson using it (bound to Crimson somehow)
Oh boy, here we go again.
Also i've been reading this story from like, 200k words, and i love this story. In particular how Prey can do what so many others can, and actually do ANYTHING to survive, and never let's his guard down
This is how I imagine Pink on her free time:
i.ibb.co/gr2Qnqv/2k5x68.jpg
Speaking about Pink, can't wait to see what happens with her in the future.
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Ha ha! 😂 There's always something. Thanks though.
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Huh. Didn't realise, but yes you're right, the next closest was at 20K, and this is just over 22K.
Lord Vanish had unwittingly made a lethal enemy
and that cliffhanger ending
Aw, a cliffhanger...
Oh, fuck off Luna. Fuck off, and then once you're done fucking up fucking off, fuck off again from wherever you fucked off to in the first place. And then dig your head out of your ass.
The long wait in between these chapters is real torture. Every time it feels right for one to come out and I see a notification of an unread chapter I get excited until I see its for something else.
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I think that it is Lilly's parents. They need him as a witness.
Oh, dear. What's Crimson found himself caught up in?
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The problem with that is
Princess Luna knows that Time is supposed to have it. It gets stolen & she will NOT be happy. Would Prey risk it?
Prey would do that. Would Crimson? He's more or less honest.
On the other hand, Crimson strikes me as the sort to not give a damn WHAT you try, he won't give in as a matter of principle.
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Possible. But do they have the influence to do that?
Hopefully, we'll know in two weeks.
Well buddy chum pal. I now desire more immediately. You certainly know how to grip a reader but I really want to see what happens next yesterday!
I never thought a fanfic could make me hate Luna this much, but you managed to pull it off. How do you write the old english sections, if I may ask? I'd love to be able to write lunas voice properly.
This story doesn't make me haate Luna per-say, but i understand why Prey the lamb not a pony would be afraid of Alicorns. I think what proved it to me was that Prey, the genius and deadly mind mage capable of doing monsterous things, couldn't even react or resist Luna putting him to sleep simply for slipping out a single word of objection in defence of his friend. A sleep so deep that there were no dreams and Prey is always aware of his dreams to the level of creating fake dreams incase of onlookers. A sleep so deep that Prey was able to be touched and moved meaning he had no way to defend himself. I wouldn't be surprised if Luna's spell also gave Lemon Pink more freedom during the time Prey's entire mind was forced to sleep.
Eeh... This chapter is...
Excellent, like all the others of course.
new threats come from several sides at once, can't he catch a break ? The poor little guy has more and more work and threats pilling up over time.
I just hope he'll get his happy ending.
Good read, as always.
I have a feeling that noble has framed crimson for something
warning: Bad inglish
I have no words...Crimsom bled for you, he almost died for you, ran from the clans to serve you, he swore loyalty to you and that's how you pay him !!!!
Luna is an idiot, this will affect her relationship with the thestrals, they can be religiously fanatical to Luna but that will not last long if she continues like this. Rewarding loyalty is important
It seems as if Luna has almost no clout in Canterlot without her sister backing her up. Vanish saying that his family is loyal to Celestia only hammers that point in. Him turning on her will only turn out poorly though. That’ll be fun.
There are so many things I’m looking forward to from this chapter. It was truly the calm moment before everything was completely screwed. I’m glad you didn’t split this chapter in half. It was a joy to read
I wonder if Prey could buy some clothing and put runes on them.Runic armor!
Calling it now, at least one of them will get the bright idea to fuck around in Prey's flat, and trip up on the five thousand runic traps scattered everywhere.
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Well that's good because I'm not trying to make readers hate Luna or Celestia per-say either. 😇
Prey hates Luna and Celestia, but you can form your own opinions based off their actions.
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Well I'll be honest for writing Luna, I did get a fair amount of help from the Editor with things like "thy" "thine" "thee" and "thou".
another amazing chapter! keep going!!!
Prey is way too cute in that picture
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Darn, I was hoping for a magic bullet here, or a rule set. Thank you regardless!
This chapter, as I expected, was as good as the others before it. I even expected that there would be another cliffhanger
Though, to me, three quarters in it started to leave something to be desired. Everything is peaceful and nothing major was currently going on so I wasn't as immersed. The 'enemy in the shadows' thing wasn't really that interest because there was no idea what the 'enemy' was. For all I know it could be discord since the Gala was recently he should show up soon. But I have my suspicions it's Changlings.
Though I did like the thesepist part. Something just funny about watching someone who thinks they are in control of the situation when really they're already being misdirected with misinformation and being controlled. Thinking about a dude sitting in a room for 45 minutes with a supposed child saying nothing but a smile was funny.
That cliffhanger at the end wasn't as enticing as the previous one because the previous one, it was easy to come up with an Idea, which if true, would affect the entire story. This cliffhanger only had given some information which could still mean a massive change in the story, but with so little information, it's hard to come up with any interesting ideas.
Of course, the previous Idea was typed with the idea that the cliffhanger was on meant to be a cliffhanger.
Well, anyway now that my rather hastily typed opinion of the chapter is done, I can say that this chapter, while more tame than normal, was amazingly well done.
Brings a smile to my face when I see the notification of a new chapter.
Utterly lovely.
I have no doubt this will be about the ring.
-Begin Comment-
If only I could like a story twice, maybe it isn't the longest story so far but It has a quality about it that I very much enjoy.
I hope to see much more in the future.
-End Comment-
Thanks for the chapter! I very much enjoyed the callback to saffron.
It's a shame that crimson last his necklace, but I feel that will be a point of error on Luna in the future. Maybe a devisive point to break absolute loyalty that crimson holds to her.
It sounds like Lord Vanish is going to frame Crimson. Maybe by stealing his own artifact to get crimson placed in jail. Regardless, Lord Vanish is near the top of the list.
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Unless Luna saw this coming, and anticipated Vanish following up with legal action anyway so she could intervene and call out foul play. Her not interfering after what she allowed to take place would look so bad. Of course, that's considering Vanish doesn't know Crimson's a convicted criminal. In that case Luna's hooves might be tied way too tight to do anything anyway, and just call into question her authority. Especially if Prey is called to testify and ponies can put two and two together through those armbands and figure out he's a criminal too. Even better, Celestia will probably preside as judge since Luna's got a conflict of interest. On another note, technically Crimson owns Prey's flat too since he's a minor, so that means they get to search it...I wonder what they'll find.
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Nothing -unless they have someone looking who knows runes. In which case, some of them will find Their Death.
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As to Luna's reaction....a ruler doesn't have to react directly to make your life unpleasant. Tax audits, fire code violations....
Did you know
Lots of cities have regulations about stuff like "How far are your garbage cans supposed to be from the curb?"
Got a restaurant? Fine. Lets take ALL the ice out of the ice machine so we can check for mold
While you're at it, let's take the beverage dispensers apart to check for mold inside the nozzles. When is the last time you cleaned inside them?
Plus, I worked in restaurant kitchens since I was 16 until I retired & I have NEVER seen a food prep area that didn't have SOME roaches.
The cutting boards almost certainly won't pass a super strict exam.
IDK what the source of their money is, but I guarantee you there are a TON of piss-ant rules governing it & a regulatory agency that can make your life a misery. Most older buildings don't pass modern fire codes, for instance. & even if you prevail in court you've got to pay a lawyer & GO to court.
Every cliffhanger is so painful to wait until the next chapter XD. This story is so good!
Nice.
Wow. They are after Crimson these past chapters it seems. Things are getting worse, which to be fair make them more interesting to read. Luckily Crimson was Prey on his side to help from the shadows, in case it really is going to be as bad as it seems right now.
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Celestia might be able to pull off a court merry-go-round and vex others into behaving, but I kinda doubt if Luna can. Considering Luna's situation and how she and Vanish came to Crimson in private, I'm thinking she's bluffing pretty hard to stay in the Game. Especially with the little hints Prey's picking up while in her presence. But let us not forget, these are ponies we're talking about...I wouldn't trust them to mess up a bad plan. I wonder, if they go to court and Prey has to testify, are you forced to tell the truth through magic? That could wonderfully complicate the picture if the right questions are asked...
In any case, if this is Vanish's goon squad, I hope Prey breaks all their legs with a thought. Show them he has a place on Equestria's watch list for a good reason. Oh! Maybe then he'll be placed in Twilight's care to learn the value of friendship! Squeeeeee! Think of how aggravated he would be! Prey versus his archnemesis Twatlight Spunkle!
"
I like how ambiguous some of Prey’s interactions are at times. Does he refer Snake or the one who put scars on a lamb. In what I expect Prey’s serious tone with Crimson to make casual emphasis even more muddled.
I also get a bit frustrated in understandable ways when the ponies don’t ask certain questions like what crimes Prey was charged with, why he ended up in a city jail but under stand. Do wonder if Prey’s maybe kill at the lumber yard is forgotten about by the others too and stuff like that.
For protecti- Cooking. Yes, cooking.