This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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Huh so I wonder why Pink took the foal?
Maybe I missed it, but very neat chapter
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
9524790
To grab the attention of the squad Prey is apart of..
9524922
Well, probably childish, and high pitched!
Prey is runt and still a lamb after all, so... You know, no deep, intimidating timbre of dread for him.
this is like a murder mystery where it turns out your the murder well prey got a follower which definitely increase his resources and options
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7l7joQhmYE
makes me think of this
9526251
Yeah, more or less like that.
Great chapter, the picture looks amazing. Everything but the eyes tells me that these two will/are be great pals, but their eyes say they are both equally demented.
More please
So Night decided do brainwash Clerk Kent eh? Sounds Super bad.
>> Clerk Kent.
God damn clever, author.
Dang, the little details.
I had a feeling this might have been what was going on, but it's still quite a shock to see. Prey's awesome! Nice to see that, even if it's just because it's not worth the effort and it'd ease the Royal Guard, he's not ordering Rocky's death. At the very least, that's more ammo in his favor if he's ever discovered - and he can always sacrifice Lemon to gain more trust.
Clark Kent?
As usual, edits are in bold.
I do wish fimfiction had a suggested edits feature like Quora, where it would highlight the changes and allow you to approve or dissaprove them without having to manually track them down. Makes things so much quicker on all fronts.
10175196
I do not know what Quora is (aside from a writing program obviously) but I completely agree. that would a wonderful feature to have.
Also, many and much thanks once again for taking the time to help by pointing out my spelling/grammar mistakes! š
Did you say something about this being your second time reading through the whole thing again?
Oh my... This does open up a massive amount of possibilities, doesn't it.
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Partners in crime indeed. š
Error Report: Valour may not buy my comatose
dact once you is (are) gone9527266
Pals is not a word I would used. Especially considering Prey has a great hatred and disdain towards ponies. This is more like the mastermind and his pawn.
Fascinating, and very much door opening.
Despite making up āpercentage numberā of the population, āinsert species/ race hereā make up āpercentage numberā of the crimes.
Damn I wonder why that is
Canāt be a difference in circumstance no sirree. Must be something about āinsert species/race here. *note: it cannot be your own per social regulation or something*ā
All according to keikaku.
Do
I like that picture, the hyper detailed eyes really add something.
Man, that picture is creepy. Love it.
I finally started reading this story. Quite a few months ago I commented, something along the lines of being intrigued by this story but preferring lighthearted and fearing this to be very dark. I was assured that it didn't really go into extreme territory by several readers. After what I've read so far I agree and I'm rather hooked.
You do a wonderful job of building up Prey and his worldview. The mind reading is also a great tool to establish this. Not only do you see how the world views Prey, but also how Prey views the way the world views him. Prey sometimes shows a kind of ignorant hypocrisy that makes so much sense already, considering what I've learned he lived through so far. And I'm only about a fifth of the way into the story based on chapter numbers. So far I've been having a blast. I have certain hopes about the direction in which the story will go, but whether it will or not, lot of story to be told still.
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I don't know what direction you're hoping that'll be, but I hope you enjoy where this does end up going. š