This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Secco? Is that you??
So, it's the Solar Guard who are responsible? Jeez, that means the princesses know about the lair. About Lemon.
Crimson isn't in danger, but Prey is up shit creek without a paddle.
I wonder if "forced to do" is something benign like having to work with non-ponies. That would be hilariously racist and in-character for the Solar Guard.
And can I just say how hilarious the gift scene is?
"Prey is this ring magical?"
"What?! No! This is just a completely normal, unassuming ring."
"Fwew, thank you."
"Now my second gift is utterly steeped in magic..."
"WHAT"
"It's completely legal! 100% legit! The source material, not so much. You won't get in trouble for having this. Definitely. Probably. Maybe."
Prey and Crimson's relationship has got to be one of my favorite parts of any story on this site.
When’s discord?
Prey is gonna have to pull some Death Note-style mental chess to get out of this one. This is going to be intense, and I'm looking forward to it.
Prey: "I'll take a lemon sherbert... and EAT IT!"
As for what I hope happens to Lemon Pink, I would like for her to live, continue to forge her own identity, and try to be there for Prey. What that entails, I'm not entirely sure. What I would prefer would be for her to gradually become more independent to the point where she doesn't have to obey Prey's orders, and he would only discover this during some high-stakes moment. Then, right when he thinks he's screwed because his most valuable asset is no longer under his control and has the opportunity to abandon him, she voluntarily stands by him out of genuine loyalty/affection(?). Should this happen, she has the potential to become a friend rivaling Crimson (which could lead to hilarious passive-aggressive/socially awkward competition between the two for the title of "bestest friend"), and could serve as a stepping stone on the path to Prey's redemption (or revenge, or whatever you decide to go with).
Edit 2: Perhaps there could be a moment similar to when Raphtalia voluntarily renews her slave crest (which gives her master the ability to order her to do whatever he pleases) as a sign of trust between her and her master in Rising of the Shield Hero. I’m sure there’s some kind of crazy rune or mind shenanigans Prey could whip up for the occasion.
One day, Pray will win. Not today, not tomorrow, but one day he will win.
Amazing chapter, really loved the chance meeting between Prey, Lemon and the invading unicorn. The big question is if he's a underworld mercenary or an undercover guard of some kind
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Year 2. We're still in year 1.
So, some day but not some day soon.
To quote the Poets: "We're fucked".
Your chapters are so long but feels incredibly short! So whoever broke the pony Prey framed out of jail, now know both his and Lemons face.
Cant wait for the next chapter, something big is bound to go down soon.
Nice, it's not even saturday here.
Lemon Pink ? Well, usually I'd say "get rid of her, she's gaining sentience" and I tought she was a traitor but in light of recent developments...
I just want Prey to be safe and happy at the end, if it can extend to her, nice, if not, that would be very sad.
I sure hope prey won't sacrifice her, it would be the point of no return, but there is only one writer, and it's only your philosophy that count.
Do whatever you want, like usual
Just like this chapter, it's great, as usual.
They already know way too much. Did they already know Lemon from her time before Prey, or did they only now learned of her from the diamond dogs.
That last line also intrigues me. It makes me think they might be vigilantes. A group of criminals that decided to perform small acts of evil like theft to stop grater threats perhaps, or maybe something else entirely.
Either way, he saw their faces, and for the first time in this story, Prey has been discovered. I'm so excited to see what might happen next.
I won't say my theory on Lemon Pink again (but it was interesting to see that she hesitated for a moment from Prey's order), I'm also liking the way Prey uses and depends on Lemon. It kind of reminds me of the game Shadow of War, where you dominate enemies minds to make them serve you and while they are still independent and can do their own thing, they will always obey your orders.
As a side note-
I would like to see in a future, calmer, chapter that Luna has mysterious summoned Crimson to the palace alone, which Prey thinks it's a trap but hopes it isn't. When Crimson returns Prey finds out that his gold bands have been removed. Putting Prey on a tough spot, where he is both angry/bitter that he (a runt) is the only one to have the gold bands on but also happy for Crimson as he is free.
I would love it if Lemon could stay allied with Prey even without the control. Prey obviously has the willingness to connect with people under certain circumstances. If Crimson's relationship with Prey improves even more then maybe Prey can think the same about Lemon. She has done as much if not more for him than Crimson has, after all, but the fact that she's a Unicorn may make it difficult for Prey to let her off the leash.
super interested to see what all that tree’s gonna do!!! another great chapter, fimfiction author lamb’s prey
war truly has begun in the shadows and they slowly learning prey is no one prey, it to his advantage they think lemon is the mastermind gives him a edge
I almost died laughing. Anyways, Lemons comments almost seemed like she was coming to be her own self again. I hope she stays allied with Prey for reasons I said before
Edit: WAIT! Is the next update on Halloween?! ...oh dear
I used to think Pink was kinda sus but now I'm not so sure...
If she's okay I hope they continue working together
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It's possible that it's the Solar Guard. However, if it was an officially backed part of the Solar Guard (even if covertly backed), they probably wouldn't have to steal artifacts.
IMO, vigilantes. Possibly a renegade element in the Solar Guard. Sort of MLP meets "Magnum Force".
I have the feeling that one pony that Prey and Lemo got locked in combat with is part of some 'Equestrian Secret Service' thing. Considering he was thinking about evidence/proof and also said he hated warlocks like 'these' possible implying he had fought more like this, which leads me to think of some kind of Secret Equestrian Guard. Hmm if they did come busting down their doors, I have no doubt Prey would toss Lemon off the deep end if it let him getaway. At least, that's if that one pony hadn't realized they were in league with each other and Prey was part of it. Sigh, here comes another two-week wait.
I hope lemon stays alive. Prey would have to spend a lot more time on menial tasks like feeding the veropedes instead of doing more interesting things if he didn’t have lemon
so uh
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This is a long one. Great chapter and excellent fight sequence. I’m loving the dynamic war prey is fighting on all fronts, real or born of paranoia. Highlight was Prey and Crimson interaction, always makes me smile. As for lemon pink I can see her becoming her own person, as she has absorbed hard baked memories and has deviated and grown from the shared memories from prey. Whether she becomes aware and values her own interests and desires over Prey’s and abandon prey or oppose him. Or she becomes an ally, doing her own things, making her own life and chooses to still help prey. And would prey even allow that? To sum it up Lemon Pink grows as a person and prey could potentially lose control of her though I think I remember prey having a counter measure for that. Also low key would love a slice of life intermission chapter that follows lemon pink for a day. A routine full of normal actions to keep a public facade and alibi while she ticks off items on the list and does Prey’s dirty work.
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Yes, thought I'd just clear it up: These hooded ponies (whoever they are and wherever they got their artifacts), aren't Solar Guards. Sorry if I made that confusing anywhere. 😇
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Pink sus. Better vote white. (meaning Prey) 🐑
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😊 I am pleased that I caused some laughs, it was meant to be my attempt at being funny, after all. And I guess the next chapter will be around Halloween? That, uh, doesn't mean anything important though Chapter wise, I'm afraid. 🎃 It will just be the next chapter, not a spin off chapter.
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Thank you, again, for the ideas and different takes on Lemon Pink, both to those who commented last chapter, and also this chapter. Tentatively, without committing to anything, most people seem to want Lemon Pink to live. 🍋 So, she'll probably live, but how, and in what state, and why... I'm promising nothing.
Prey is like the ISND's secretive armorer, producing unique gadgets for their agents. Well, for one of them. That's between 16 and 25% of their staff though, so that makes the ISND entirely closer to high tech 007-esque secret agents than pretty much any other agency I can think of. Hope they don't need them, but we all know better than that.
Prey really needs to find a way to bust into people's heads without directly touching them, it's quite a hinderance sometimes.
Edit: I'm also not worried about Lemon regardless of what happens. After all, she has a personal suicide bomb rune carved into her neck. That there's the highest source of trust possible!
When Crimson let Prey have the feather he mentioned the the romantic implications of the act. Now Prey has modified the feather (made it his own) and given it to Crimson. Maybe I've just been consuming to much Japanese media lately but could this have greater implications than just Prey trying to protect Crimson? Prey is technically an adult (more like a senior near his 70s).
Of course I may just be looking to far into this and what Crimson said was just the author alluding to the romantic significance of giving away a feather in other fanfics.
Regardless of my wild shipping speculations this was a great chapter and I am more excided then ever to see how this arc plays out, we all await Halloween like hungry veropedes.
God damnit.
Can't Prey catch a break for once
He is exhausted, beset by all kind of Shenanigans never letting him get "comfortable".
And now he is apparently beset by the Pony Batpony society that steal Artifacts to put them to use against evil warlocks.
And then the git even gets away
#MindshatterfromPreyfinaly
Great chapter! I really loved that combat fight, honestly probably some of your best writing. Doing something like that is hard and you pulled it off amazingly.
Also, I can't wait to see how pissed that guy
is about losing the fight.
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Prey does kind of act like an awkward schoolgirl who has a crush on their teacher whenever he interacts with Crimson. It would be a pretty sick cosmic joke if Prey had a crush on Crimson because he's simultaneously way older than Crimson, but also looks like a child. (And I'm assuming Crimson isn't a pedophile.) So there's no chance of anything ever working out for Prey, which is par for the course. The little sociopath really can never catch a break.
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I believe it was internally remarked by Prey at some point that due to his self-inflicted curse, he's essentially forever a child prodigy, never an adult.
So that means he will never be physically attracted to anyone.
And he still says he doesn't trust Crimson fully, so I don't think he'll ever fall in love with Crimson. They will be best friends, never lovers.
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Damn.
How exactly did we shift from the currently tense and serious plot to these Prey x Crimson shipficks?
... Not that I'm complaining. Just asking.
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I dunno, which is why I am trying to put an end to this immediately
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He did kinda murder over a hundred people in cold blood.
They're both so adorably unsocial.
I'd love for Lemon to develop into an actual character. Have her become a second viewpoint even as she struggles to evolve past Prey's programming. Maybe even try to awkwardly make a friend with Prey, while he decides she's also not something to be stolen. Cause if there's one person who knows just how much Prey needs friends, it's gonna be Prey's mind twin. Oh, maybe have her be jealous of Crimson, and they form a terrible friendship triangle.
Also, BuRn LuNa
I really need Celestia to know about her sister's indentured child solider program.
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Yeah. That is just... Yeah. Never going there. 💀 Have Crimson and Prey become beyond best friends, yes, able and willing to kill for each other, yes, become basically brothers, yes. But platonic all the way. There doesn't have to be anything romantic involved for two people to love each other.
eg. Look at brothers in arms in the army. They are willing to literally die for one another. That makes most relationships look kinda' tame in comparison nowadays, huh? 😅
Another amazjng chapter! Thinking about the checov's gun that is the fact that the medical scan just didn't see the giant metal jaws around preys heart... 🤔
I think Lemon Pink is just to much of a boon to Prey, like a permanent ace up his sleeve. It would be sad for Lemon to die before she could have a bigger character arc, but I can't see many options to keep her without Prey using her to solve all his problems and make the ISND just a side show. The artifact thieves want Lemons blood so for Prey to protect himself and keep her alive he would have to send Lemon to take the thieves on a wild goose chase or somehow kill them all. Then again Prey wants the thieves dead and who knows what he may be wiling to risk to get what he wants.
I don’t feel a need for Lemon to grow more depth. The explanation of the mind wipe is well enough for me, though there has been suggestions to say that is not the end of the matter. I do kind of fancy some stuff more about how Lemon use to be like maybe she runs into somepony who recognizes ... whatever Lemon’s Name before Prey, or maybe a touch like finding out the motivation to get her cutie mark was to escape diamond dog enslavement. Maybe I just don’t feel like a “redemption” arc would go over well or just be a forced tangent compared to the main characters natural development.
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I can agree that a redemption arc might not go so well, as much as I really want it to happen. It's like saying all the hardship Prey/Lemon had gone through was a lie. Like it was all for nothing.
I can't think of a way redemption would work. Maybe for Lemon because she's basically mind controlled but for Prey... I don't know if even the Elements of Harmony would work to "purify" him like Luna. I'd place my bet he's worse than discord. If that's the case, then would the elements just outright kill him?
I thought of something that might help, but not really. I've had any suspicions that one of the biggest things that caused Prey's life to go so horribly wrong was because of changling manipulation. If so, then maybe Prey might see Celestia in a new light he knew. But then again, that doesn't do anything for the others who have wronged him.
It would mean Celestia might be able to talk with Prey, but you know... He's Prey.
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Sure, Prey might die, but what about Gossimer? Or, I think that's what Prey's previous name was... Or was it his brother? Anyways Im to lazy to go back to check. Anyways my point is, if Prey dies, then what happens to Gossimer. Sure he probably died slowly become Prey, but what if
OH MY GOD WHAT IF THE ELEMENT OF HARMONY REVERTED PREY BACK TO HIS PREVIOUS SELF BEFORE THE WAR?!
hmm, an interesting thought I just came up with, I'll stash that away for a later theory... Anyways it's true Prey has done some horrible things, but do those horrible things extend to Gossimer? Is his previous self even still alive? Is it possible to bring him back?
Eager to read the next chapter. :)
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The good news is, it's been two weeks! We should get the new chapter either today, tomorrow, of the day after that. If not, then some have gone terribly wrong. Probably not.
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It's times like this I wish I could favorite comments.
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smh way to rain on our parade
Naw im capping
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It’s me, I’m the friendless sap