This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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9798550
Don't think about it in terms of the total number of likes. Any story that is decently well written and appeals to a lot of reader's interests can get that, and your story is a bit more "niche." Take pride in your REALLY high like to dislike ratio, because that means that the vast majority of people interested in the premise actually liked how you fleshed it out.
Iβm writing a story about this =3
Prey was just a little lamb,
His fleece as white as snow,
And everywhere the ISND went,
The lamb was sure to go.
9798670
How quaint
Congratulations in getting 200 likes.
Thats double from 4 months ago!
Im happy to see such a great story getting the love it deserves and wish you the best of luck!
And this is why one needs laws that the law has to follow.
9798670
Ha ha!
That's great. π€£
I hadn't even considered the 'Mary had a little Lamb' troupe.
9798989
The ends justify the means..... Or do they?
Gloom's starting to think like Prey...How worrying.
I'm enjoying this immensely, and honestly think this might well be one of the top ten (probably closer to top five, frankly) stories on this site. Keep up the good work, because I'm in love with where it seems to be going.
9798557
π Why thank you. When I think about it, yeah, niche does more describe this story. It's not totally unique, but it's fairly different than most. Thinking about it some more, a lot of my Fav FiM stories are also what could be called niche.
9798803
Thank you for the positive encouragement as always. π Mainly just glad that those who read it, (and there is a fair amount to read now at about 350K), found something to entertain them.
Man, so many delicious petty dislikes and resentments, it makes me wish that Prey would get a chance to indulge just a bit of sadism and puppet mastery by starting a race war... and then using that to get free and go back to waging a one-sheep war of ultimate awesome gruesomeness. But solving a mystery is fun too.
I don't know why but I've always had the feeling that Prey is probably older than he thinks he is.
9801168
Iβm the proofreader, those are on me
Always happy a see a new chapter, and Prey did laught for the first time too.
Kinda weird he didn't mention the mole in the guard as a risk for his plan.
9801512
π Hey, glad you liked it.
Well, in answer to your question; Prey's pretty sure the mole isn't in the Night Guard, (the thestral portion of the Night Guard that is), since they're all fanatically loyal to Luna, and the salt drug trade problem existed before the thestral clans were restored to Equestria, so it can't be them.
(And, you know, Prey can read peoples thoughts, so he definitely knows the traitor isn't anyone he's met so far.)
Thus, the traitor is in the Royal Guard! Grr! Traitorous Royal Guard! And the Royal Guard have nothing to do with this investigation, soo...
Who is the traitor(s) though? π Wait and see.
Can't wait for the moment when Gloom and Crimson find out more about Prey!
I doubt the laughter meant anything sinister, but it kinda sounded like Gloom snapped. Like the Joker for instance, laughs at things that shouldn't be laughed at.
Prey totally over estimates unicorns
Itβs gonna get him in trouble one chapter, isnβt it?
Absolutely loving this story. Found it a few days ago and fell in love with it. I can't wait for more.
9806930
You just gotta laugh at the absurdity of it all. It helps you cope, sometimes.
It also is a release of pressure and stress. Gloom and Crimson both needed it. Prey did too, I suppose.
9810780
Well, very glad to hear that you like it, thanks! π° The next chapter will be done in about a week (I think.) π
Or just make him take a nap, since they can do that. And then invade his mind to yell at him before throwing him back in prison. Not quite sure if Prey would prefer that to having both front legs traumatically amputated.
Yet she couldn't find any documentation on the number of crates when initially asked. I think that might be a little bit of a continuity error, there.
I don't know if your intent is to make Gloom seem as if he's talking to a superior, but adressing her as ma'am instead of Corporal makes it feel that way. In any case, Corporal is one rank below Sergeant and is usually a kind of "pre-NCO" if you will.
I feel Gloom's and Crimson's laughs should have exclamation marks. It actually made me laugh that they don't, because it made me think of Crimson awkwardly trying to laugh while looking worried out of the corners of his eyes at Gloom actually laughing. Which is a funny thought. Ha.
Aww man, I was gonna go to bed an hour and a half ago...
10183800
Oh yikes you're right about the delivery notes and continuity. I've gone back through and made some changes to try and fix this, thanks for raising the mistake. My bad. I made it so they only had the personal written records Terry Golf submitted, and that they didn't have the origional delivery notes anymore, only what Terry said was in the warehouse.
And also for pointing out the "Corporal" and "Sargent" rank difference. I really should've noticed that before, so I had to fix that too.
Thank you for the help. π
My random guess I came upon the spot was because the job had insanely high pay. If they were dealing in salt then the one paying them could afford to pay more.
Edit I should have read the entire chapter before posting this comment because I didn't see that it already mentioned it.
Not one of my usual error reports, but while cotton can grow into trees if undisturbed, cotton plants used for large scale production tend to remain bushes. This is due to frost killing the plant, it's a real heat lover, and due to the people harvesting the cotton wanting to maximize production and not have the tree waste energy supporting branches. I leave it up to your own discretion on if to leave them bushes or trees due to weather control and general pony nature hugging, well, nature.
10563461
Huh. The more you know I guess. I won't pretend I know anything about cotton farming really, i just made a few quick internet searches on "cotton growing" as my source for this. π
Both Prey and Gloom subtly changing a bit I think. Good stuff. I'm also very amused that after 350k words Prey has only ever used his super special protagonist powers like... Once? You have otherworldly patience.
10745096
Well, it's a long story. Gotta' leave some good stuff for later, right? π
10745096
well he also hears thoughts constantly so i think that counts in a way.