In the dead of night, a thief breaks into the royal palace in Canterlot to steal Celestia's crown. She successfully sneaks through the palace and enters the room where this prize possession is kept, with not a soul the wiser.

Well, save for a certain Princess.

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Mr Cake, Mrs Cake, the Cake twins Pound and Pumpkin, and Pinkie Pie were going up to Canterlot for the day off when they decided to stop at a restaurant called the Cattivo Odore Restaurant and Bakery owned by Turpe and his wife Poco Cotti. But while the place looks great in terms of decor, the customer service and the food are anything but good and the owners are nothing more than a bunch of stuck-up fools who think their food is perfect.

Something I just couldn't get off my mind until I wrote it down. Be warned: the ponies in these battles really go off on each other. Almost exactly like it is in "Epic Rap Battles of History", except with less cursing. There's plenty of verbal bashing, though.

Vinyl Scratch is the DJ for most of these battles, and will be doing the all-caps commentary (except for the ones she's in, of course). OC tag because of slight self-insert.

I've heard that this story is better when read with someone else. You know, with each person doing one half of the rap battle?

List of Rap Battles (as per request)
#1: Twilight Sparkle vs. Rainbow Dash
#2: Pinkie Pie vs. Rarity
#3: Spa Sisters vs. Flim Flam Brothers
#4: Octavia vs. Vinyl Scratch
#5: Angel vs. Gummy
#6: Derpy Hooves (Ditzy Doo?) vs. Lyra Heartstrings
#7: Princess Luna vs. Discord
#8: Scootaloo vs. Pipsqueak
#9: Fluttershy vs. Screwball
#10: Apple Bloom vs. Diamond Tiara
#11: Trixie vs. Featherweight
#12: Silver Spoon vs. Spike
#13: Sweetie Belle vs. Queen Chrysalis
#14: Applejack vs. Carrot Top
#15: Bon-Bon vs. Lyra Heartstrings
#16: Twilight Sparkle vs. Rainbow Dash (rematch!)
#17: Big Macintosh vs. Shining Armor
#18: Iron Will vs. Photo Finish
#19: Gilda vs. Prince Blueblood
#20: Nightmare Moon vs. the Doctor (Doctor Whooves)
#21: Princess Celestia vs. Princess Luna
#22: Snips and Snails vs. Twist and Ruby Pinch
#23: Braeburn vs. Soarin'
#24: Zecora vs. Cheerilee
#25: Winona vs. Opalescence
#26: Derpy Hooves vs. Pinkie Pie
#27: Spitfire vs. Daring Do
#28: Princess Cadence vs. Queen Chrysalis
#29: Babs Seed vs. Lightning Dust
#30: Sunset Shimmer vs. Trixie *
#31: tba

Picture by Silversnow here on this site.

...should there be a 'sex' tag, considering some of the stuff brought up in the rap battles?

The opening titles of MLP have always felt like they were from a different version of the show. This is that version...

Fed up with being useless at magic, a blank-flanked Twilight Sparkle does the only thing she feels she can do... she runs away. Fortunately, she has a good friend along for the ride...

Now has a sequel: Nightwaker, which presents the return of Nightmare Moon in this timeline.

Featured 10/16-10/19/2018 -- thanks, everypony, for your kind support and feedback on this version of the pilot story!

It's time for the fair in Canterlot City, and after looking for her for some time, the girls learn something about Fluttershy they never knew about before. (Set After 'A Little Birdie Told Me')

Big Mac is an ordinary country boy. Even though his little sister gained magical super powers, he's managed to stay out of most of the weirdness. But things go pear-shaped after he starts spending more time with his physics teacher, Dr. Discord. Thanks to Dr. Discord's time machine, Big Mac becomes stranded in the year 1993, and that's not even the strangest part.

No, the strangest part is that his mom keeps flirting with him.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Villain Exchange Program contest.

The Tasty Treat has never done better business since its grand re-opening, but as usual Coriander Cumin watches his life with eyebrow raised and disbelieving grunt ready and waiting. So when Saffron Masala persuades him to sample a bit of local culture and attend the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant in Canterlot, he's not exactly leaping at the chance the way she is. After all, one of them needs to keep their hooves on the ground.

Even if it is covered in bitterly freezing snow. Uncomfortably familiar snow, come to that...

He has worked at the graveyard for as long as he could remember. He doesn't remember how or why, but he knows that he does it, so no pony else has to carry the burden. Even if it pains him whenever he is visited.

This story is a sequel to Anon Begins

Silly short/long stories with the reference-spewing 'hyewmun'.

Spin-off to Anon Begins and Anon II.

A motorized carriage driver named Sure Fire reminisces about her past as she gets her carriage washed for an upcoming race.