//------------------------------// // FoodFight! // Story: Antics of Anon // by 23 KM To Nerdiness //------------------------------// It was a pretty average day in Equestria. Like any other day, you'd hang with your best ponies, plus dragon, and just do fun things with each other. Yes, it may seem like you're enjoying quality friend time a bit TOO much, but keep in mind: You had no friends... Just a cassette player and a totally-not-obssessed love for films. Right now, you're having a quaint little picnic near a tall tree with the girls, also Spike, and what an impressive spread there was. From the diabeetus inducing concoctions of Pinkie Pie to the countless apple-related treats of AJ to the dreaded dryness of your dragon bro's dry ass cauliflower bites. But thank Molestia Celestia you managed to convince your best waifu pal Starlight to make those delectable tea cakes for the get together. [Last week] "Can you make some of those tea cakes?" "Nope." she says bluntly. [Three days ago] "Please...?" "Eeenope." [Yesterday] "Pretty please with a cherry on top and free belly rubs for a week?" "...deal." [Present] It.........took a little convincing. But nonetheless, it all worked out in the end. Everyponyone's happy, everything's delicious and everything is right in the world. Well, for Equestria's standards. After nearly inhaling the ENTIRE bowl of cakes, you reach out for the next best thing: Pasta! And it having that 'Rarity flair' made it even more desirable. As you go for the zesty delicacy at the center of the blanket, your hand suddenly runs into 'ol Dashie. Ooooh how the plot thickened. Now you and Rainbow have a........UNIQUE relationship, to say the least. One minute, you've always got each other's backs, you're practically siblings. But when it comes to situations like this however, it was on like Donkey Kong. "Oops, sorry Anon." she says sheepishly. "I was just reaching for the pasta there." "No, it's my fault. I was reaching for the...pasta?" you utter. Both your eyes widen at the sudden realization. Either way, you two kept a straight 'friendly' smile. Rainbow reaches for the bowl with another hoof only to be blocked by your hand. "Sorry, trigger arm." If these dull butter knives were sharp... The two of you share a split-second death glare before the others could notice. Rainbow takes another shot, you block it. She makes another attempt, blocked again. "Ooh, is this some form of pony patty cake?" Pinkie squeaks eagerly. "I CALL NEXT!" "What do you need the pasta for Dashie?" you ask. "For a pasta and potato sandwich on sourdough, my favorite." she says matter of factly. "What about you?" "I just love pasta." Eventually, both your happy expressions slowly morph into hatred. "Rock, Paper, Scissors for it." "You're on Anon! I'm gonna- wait a minute..." "Heh, I guess I win by default. My food sounds tastier." As you claim your prize, Rainbow snatches it in a blink of an eye, cockily tossing it in front of your face. "So THAT'S how it's gonna be, huh?" you hiss. "I don't know, IS it?" With your sheer amount of pure awesomeness, you crane kick your dinner fork, which ricochets off the tall tree and knocks the bowl from the pegasus' hooves, dropping it into your hands. "Give up yet?" you snicker. "NEVER!" Rainbow tackles you off the picnic blanket, making you drop the pasta. "I knew my pasta was worth fighting for, but this is ridiculous." Rarity adds proudly. Applejack rolls her eyes. Rainbow lunges at you with full force ready to buck you something fierce. You never wanted to resort to this but... Nah, actually you did. In a swift motion, you grab the incoming pegasus by the hoof and hold out your pinky- "You called?" Pinkie, return to your red-velvet-jalapeno-whatevers. "Okie dokie lokie!" Anyways, everyone back on Earth have always said you watched too many movies, but here you have a pretty effective advantage with that here. "A-Anon, let's not do anything crazy now." Spike begs nervously. "Don't hold me back Spike!" you exclaim. "She's been asking for this!" "You don't have the guts, Anon." the pegasus scoffs. "Um, excuse me? There's a-" Fluttershy mumbles. "Oh, REALLY now?" you say, slowly lowering your finger. "Y-You see, there's another-" "I'll do it, Rainbow! Three...two...one..." "Anon!" Twilight barks irritated. "While you were busy TRYING to blow up Rainbow, we found an extra bowl of pasta right here." You stop just in time as the alicorn waves the dish in her magic. "What?! Why didn't anyone tell us?!" The timid pegasus hangs her head in defeat. "I almost fingered Dashie away!" [That sounded a LOT less worse in my head. Wait this IS my head.] "Sorry bro. No hard feelings?" you say sincerely. "Yeah, I guess. Still don't appreciate my sammy getting dissed like that." Rainbow grumbles. "Actually, I lied. That sandwich of yours does sound pretty good." "Always get my carbo-load." You two hoofbump and return to the picnic. "Dear Princess Celestia, I learned something today: Pasta is the ruiner of friendships... Your faithful 'hyewmun', Anon"