Ponywatching

by ThunderTempest

Legacy Prompt #11: With Tentacles

One fine day, Twilight Sparkle was putting about in her new castle, worrying over many, many secret princess things when all of a sudden, Rarity burst in through the front doors, tears running down her face.

“Twilight, Twilight! Oh, thank goodness you’re here! It’s absolutely terrible, most certainly the worst possible thing to ever happen!”

“Rarity, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s simply terrible, my parents have been lying to me all of my life!”

“What? What have they lied to you about?” asked Twilight, wrapping her hooves around Rarity in a hug, while the dressmaker continued to cry.

“Twilight, I’m...I’m a changeling!” Twilight blinked. Rarity was consumed with green fire, and in her place was a changeling that looked a lot like Rarity had used to. Twilight blinked again, and as she opened her mouth to reply to Rarity, the door was slammed open again.

“Twi,” said Applejack, “I got somethin’ that I gotta tell you. It’s been buggin me fer a while now, an’ I just gotta get it out.” Applejack took a deep breath, and then she shifted into a more lupine form, made from bark and twigs, though her hat remained on her head.

“Ah’m a Timberwolf. Ah know that I’ve been lyin to ya for a while, but it just never felt like the right time.”

Twilight, who was hovering somewhere between bemused and outright befuddled, looked back and forth between the changeling that was Rarity and Applejack the timberwolf. She opened her mouth to speak once more, when she was interrupted again, this time by Rainbow Dash floating through the wall of her castle.

“Twilight, I’m a ghost,” she said. Rainbow Dash still possessed her colours, she was just transparent and intangible. “I actually died years ago, when I did my first Sonic Rainboom. Something weird happened, though, and I got to stick around and find you girls.”

Twilight, now thoroughly confused, swivelled her head between all of her friends. Before she could even open her mouth, Fluttershy darted inside the castle, slamming the door shut and closing all of the windows. Twilight noticed that the yellow pegasus was gently smoking. When Fluttershy noticed her questioning look, she blushed.

“I’m a vampire, Twilight,” said Fluttershy, her voice so quiet that Twilight could barely hear it. “I’ve always been a vampire, ever since you’ve known me. I hope that I haven’t scared you too much and now you won’t want to be my friend and I’m sorry.” Before Twilight could even begin to assuage Fluttershy’s fears, Pinkie Pie materialized out of nowhere.

“I’m actually an ancient eldritch abomination!” she cried, almost apropos of nothing, “with tentacles,” Pinkie added, almost as an afterthought, and she dropped her disguise, and indeed, she had tentacles. Many, many tentacles.

Twilight Sparkle looked around her five friends, who were apparently all freaks and monsters and creatures of pure chaos, but that description had applied to Pinkie Pie since before Twilight had known that Pinkie was an eldritch abomination with tentacles. She looked around at her five friends, shrugged, and kissed the Changeling that was Rarity.

And then they all had sex.

After all, Pinkie Pie was an eldritch abomination. With tentacles.

Author's Note:

Written for Legacy Prompt #11, over on the TMP group forums.
The prompt: One (or more) of the mane 6 is not a pony.

I am not the least bit sorry for this.