Ponywatching

by ThunderTempest

Prompt #467-Friendship Is All I Want

Heh. I get asked that a lot, you know. It’s right behind ‘Why the hell haven’t you cleared the clouds yet?’ That one gets yelled at me a lot. So yeah, Twi and all the others are in this big, five way relationship. I dunno how it really works, but anypony, even me, can see that it does. Twilight called it poly armours or something. I call it her princess harem, and she blushes every time. I’ve never really been one for sappy stuff. So not cool. Not to say I’m not happy for ‘em, but it’s just not for me.

Yeah, they’ve all asked me if I want to join in. I told ‘em no. And yeah, I know what you’re thinking, buddy. ‘But you’re the element of loyalty! Shouldn’t you be standing by your friends?’ Well, I can stand by them even if I’m not playing wild bedroom games with them every night. Hay, I’m usually the first to defend them to ponies who don’t understand their relationship. Usually because they’re too busy staring at each other’s flanks. Just because I’m not interested in all of that mushy stuff doesn’t mean they aren’t my friends anymore. We still do stuff together.

Me and Pinks, we still go pranking every week, and that’s always awesome. Fluttershy still comes out and helps me with my practice if I ask, and Twilight’s still trying to get me to move beyond Daring Do. I’ve actually been wanting something new to read for a while, but she doesn’t know that. Gonna make her work for it. I still hang out with Applejack down at her farm, playing horseshoes and stuff. Heck, I still have lunch with Rarity sometimes. So it’s not really like anything’s changed between us. They’re just all in a relationship. And that’s something I just don’t want. ‘Sides, romance and all that stuff just doesn’t interest me. Asexual, I think Twilight called me. I just know that I’m just not interested in it. Mare, stallion, doesn’t matter, I’m not interested. And that’s disappointed more than just my friends. Remind me to tell you about the time with Cheerilee sometime.

But I’m happy for my friends. If you ever tell anypony I said this, i’ll deny I ever said it and buck you in the face, but they’re good for each other. They look good together, you know? I’m not good with sappy stuff, so we’ll just leave that there, ok? Now, I gotta go, there’s a big open sky calling my name, and a Wonderbolt suit with my name written on it somewhere that isn’t going to earn itself.

[Time]

Okay, so maybe I do have a bit more to say. Yeah, all of my friends do still want me in their relationship. Pinks and AJ still bring it up every now and again. But they’ve just given up trying. Mostly. Twilight apparently spent half an hour explaining to all of them that I was asexual, completely uninterested in romance or whatever kinky bedroom games they played. I kinda do feel bad about that, but I can’t fake being in love. There’s only three things an awesome pony like me loves: my wings, Tank, and my friends. But not like that. I love all of the girls. They’re all awesome, seriously, but I’m not IN love with them, you know? So I’m just gonna stick with friendship. And that’s totally fine by me.

Author's Note:

Written for Prompt #467-“The Loneliest Number”
The Prompt: Ship exactly five of the mane six together in a single relationship.

Comments

[Themaskedferret]

I suspect this prompt got a number of very sad results and it's nice to see a more upbeat one. I won't deny the idea that Pinkie and AJ o any of them would keep bugging Dash to join the relationship didn't mesh well for me but that's a minor criticism.