What was going to be a relaxing weekend camping turns into a nightmare as a human gets lost in an unknown forest. Also, his phone decides to stop working for some reason, so he can't use it to orient himself or even for an emergency call. Maybe it's not the phone's fault at all, because you all can imagine where he actually is now.

Will there be adventure? Maybe a little at the beginning, but mostly slice of life afterwards. Sudden unknown OP human abilities because reasons? Well, if you count ear scritches, maybe? Instant romance with all the equestrian heros? Probably not, gee...

Then what's the point!?

... Uh... yep, that's the question, isn't it?

This is my take on a cheeky human in equestria self insert a human in equestria doing all the human in equestria things there are for a human in equestria to do. There is language barrier to spice it up a little bit, so it will focus on cultural differences, how to even communicate with the locals and coping with all the weird things this world can casually throw at a regular, out of the mill, human.

May contain subtle traces and hints of RGRE.

For those who know of Cheery Cheesy Cheeky Romance Hoers Words, this is the original setting and story I had planned but never published.

3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

Conflict has been boiling between the two Apple siblings for a while now, but when the trouble between them seems to reach it’s climax, an unexpected twist leaves them back at square one. Big Macintosh, the hardworking backbone of Sweet Apple Acres, claims he isn’t Big Mac. He denies being himself, and denies being the big brother to Applejack.

At an impasse on what to do, Ponyville’s local psychiatrist is called to help find out what happened to Big Macintosh. Can she find out what is going on with him? Whatever the truth is, the mind inside of Big Macintosh makes one thing perfectly clear. “I Am Not Big Mac.”

Content Warnings: Discussion of Death, Loss, Grief. Explicit Language.

WARNING: Spoilers in the comments.

Shortly after Queen Chrysalis' defeat at Canterlot, her army is demoralised and hungry, and the Queen herself is at her wits end - having locked herself in her bedroom, presumably to spare her subjects from her upcoming mental break in a short moment of compassion.

The Queen that leaves the room is far different from the one that entered it.

Queen Chrysalis, seemingly revitalised in her entirety, declares a change in course for her and her subjects. She promises to lead them to a new battlefield... and she swears victory in her name.

In the magical land of Equestria, there are no ponies.
In the sleepy town of Ponyville, there are no ponies.
In the glittering Castle of Friendship, there are no ponies.

So who are all these colorful quadrupeds?

His name is Mister Green Hill. He’s an Earthpony stallion recently released from prison.

But Nopony knows where.

He has admitted to breaking the law in the past.

But Nopony knows what.

He wears thick Iron horseshoes all the time.

But Nopony knows why.

He lives with his sister and seems to have a job that takes him out of town for a few days at a time.

But Nopony knows what.

That’s really all anypony knows.

He is rather...anonymous?

Special thanks to Aprion and Irrespective for helping get this off the ground.

Cover Art by the incredible Mix Up

Featured 1/25, 4/4, 5/17, 6/29 10/08, 10/22, 11/4/19 12/16/20 Thanks everyone!

[Rationalfic Deconstruction / Subversion of Displaced]
You’ve read the stories of people from Earth being “Displaced”: Their bodies are changed, their minds are warped, and they’re thrown across the multiverse, to whatever world and timeline their supernal "Displacers" decide upon.  Well, this story isn’t one of them...

...because when they tried to remake me, I didn’t let them.

A Rationalist Horror story, in which an Occultist from some version of Earth (implied to be the World of Darkness) undermines her own Displacement and ends up as a Self-Modifying Construct. Scientific Inquiry, Philosophical Debate, Rational Discussion, Body Horror, and Existential Hijinks ensue. Themes, Concepts, and Style inspired by HP Lovecraft, Elizer Yudkowsky, Gordon R Dickson, Edgar Allen Poe, Modern Prometheus (Frankenstein), Dresden Codak, World of Darkness, and Friendship is Optimal.
^{Front page on JUL 28th, AUG 12th, OCT 30, and every update after that.}

Your story breaks the shitty norm that most displaced stories have in common by being an 'actually interesting story' instead of a powertrip for a horny teen.

This is like brain porn. My head hurts but in a good way.

Author’s Notes

I often find Displaced fics to be more often Miss than Hit with me. Often, they're generic, poorly written, or just do not do anything worth reading with the concept.  This is an experiment to trt out a few other concepts which aren’t used often, even by me, including some which directly subvert Displaced as a genre, and maybe even come up with some advice for those authors. This is also a crossover with the upcoming Dragon: The Oroboroi Chronicles, a World of Darkness rulebook which I lead the development team for.

I hope you all enjoy this, and I implore you to leave some feedback in the comments section: I'll experimenting with a few uncommon concepts here, and I'd like to know how people feel about how they're coming across. :3

FAQ

Because people keep bringing these things up...

Horror/Dark Tags

I've had multiple people ask "how bad does it get?" Note the lack of the "gore", "sad", or "mature" tags or anything like that. Yes, there is blood and death at some point in this story, but the real horror of this story comes from the philosophical and scientific quandaries the characters go through: this is "intellectual horror", not "visceral horror".

Length

In the interest of this NOT becoming one of those long, sprawling fics, I plan to keep this limited to a manageable 10 chapter limit, not counting Prologue and Epilogue. No one wants to read something that long, and I'd rather not be stressing over this 6 months from now.

Sequel

The Sequel is already in the works, with scenes already written. It will be a more episodic story revolving around world optimization and interplanar hijinks.

Crossovers

To be clear, I do plan on having the main character make one of those "Token" things, but as they often get in the way of actual stories, that won't happen until the end of the story. The Sequel will be crossover-heavy.

Herman always believed that ponies were an exceedingly friendly bunch, and he figured it was in their nature to be open and kind to all strangers—even to those of different races. But what if he was wrong? What if there was another explanation?

He mentions this fact in his memoirs, but shortly after he sends them to be published he is informed that the Royal Guard wants him for questioning in Canterlot.

Additional notes:
-Equestria Girls is not canon
Proofread by: Eckaji, Snakeskin Ducttape, Javarod, ROBCakeran53, and PresentPerfect
Artwork by: Ruirik
Featured on Equestria Daily
Review link: PresentPerfect and PaulAsaran

The worlds are changed.

Where Equestria was set to follow a familiar path of harmony and friendship, the path is waylaid by the appearance of a creature out of myth, bearing grave tidings.

On Earth at the dawn of the third millennium, a war that should have never been rages between humanity and the ones who would seek to perfect it.

For down the road less travelled, Equestria is Empire, a dark mirror of what it once was and should be.

Lyra Heartstrings, musician and dreamer, previously content to spend her life in the shadow of Princesses or their faithful students, must now decide the role she’ll play in this new reality. But within the threads that connect us all, just as even Princess Celestia can have the humblest desires, the smallest person may change the future.

Authored by Team Spectrum, currently consisting of Sledge115, VoxAdam, and RoyalPsycho.

Cover by skysayl.

Our TV Tropes Page.

Our Group
Equestria Timeline
Dramatis Personae/Character Sheet
Story Outline

Side Stories

Equestria
The First Second of Eternity, by Sledge115.
A Sun in Winter, by Sledge115 and VoxAdam.
In Night's Garden, by Sledge115.
Celestia Regina, by Sledge115.
The Rose of Florentina, by Sledge115.
Wallflower of Canterlot, by Sledge115.
Sogno di Volare, by Sledge115.
Velvet Quill & Sunny Skies, by Sledge115
Joy to the Worlds, by VoxAdam, TB3 and Sledge115.

Earth
Story of the Asian Front, by Kizuna Tallis.
Snowbound, by DoctorFluffy.
The Slow Mutants, by DoctorFluffy.
The Light Despondent, Remixed, by DoctorFluffy.
Dissonance, by RanOutOfIdeas.
Starvation, by DoctorFluffy.

In the alternate timeline where Sombra was not stopped, a human finds himself suddenly in Sombra's body... just after the dread tyrant has conquered Equestria. Now trapped in a world where just about everyone hates him, he must try to keep up the illusion that he is the villainous conqueror, while at the same time try to win over his new subjects.

However, this will not be so simple, as the real Sombra is not quite dead... and he is most definitely not happy.

Part of The Ocean Of Time series.