//------------------------------// // 5 - What Are You Afraid Of? // Story: I Am Not Big Mac. // by MrPip42 //------------------------------//    I completed Dream Heart’s prerequisite for my session with her today. I was tired, very tired. After what we had talked about, sleep had evaded me for the entire night. The worst part about thoughts is that you often had very little control of them. One random intrusive ponder from your mind could set off a cascade that keeps you awake even when your body’s spent its last legs already.     There was a reason why I worked until I couldn’t think straight. It was all to avoid days like these, where everything is asked and nothing is answered. Any conclusions I could make were left with glaring question marks that only made it harder to move on from. Now I didn’t even have the energy to work until I passed out. The bed was so inviting, yet so incapable of fulfilling my needs.     What was worse was that I did actually have a few moments of sleep. Especially as my body just couldn’t force me to stay awake any longer. In those moments of rest, I was left in a state of unrest after experiencing the same dream I always seemed to get. A white void, with just me and me alone inside of it. A dream that knew what I wanted the most, and made sure it was completely out of reach. I woke up far too early to feel rested, but far too late to stop the dread from setting in.    Big Macintosh’s family stared at me in surprise when I walked down the stairs for breakfast. There was no immediate mirror around to take in my current appearance, but I didn’t need one to know that I looked positively awful. My head was hung low, and a deep groan escaped me just from having to use the stairs. Walking to the table with the grace and finesse of a zombie in an R rated B movie.  Apple Bloom was the first to speak about it on my approach.  “…Mac, did ya get any sleep at all? Ya look like a zombie in one o’ Twist’s comic books.”    She hit the nail on the head with that one. “Nnnope,” I admitted after seating myself at the table. “Ya need ta hit the hay after breakfast, Mac,” Applejack said, which was agreed upon by Granny Smith, who gave a firm nod herself.  “Can’t, ah got somethin’ to do in Ponyville today.”    Granny Smith raised a brow. “Whaddaya gotta do in Ponyville that’s more important than sleep, sonny boy?”    My gaze looked towards Applejack, who stood as still as a stone. She had been keeping my existence secret just like we promised, but there was nothing for her to do when asked about it. Applejack just wasn’t a good liar and she knew it. Any excuses were ones I’d have to make on my own. “Ah couldn’t sleep cause o’ migraines. Gonna see the doctor today.” I lied to Granny, and hoped that she wouldn’t be able to tell. All the best lies had a little bit of truth in them. I was going to see a doctor, just not for migraines.    My lie was met with a squint from Granny Smith’s eyes. I did wonder in that moment if squinting was more effective as a pony with huge bug eyes, but that thought didn’t get too far when ‘did she know I’m lying?’ was sitting at the forefront.  “…Hooey!” She exclaimed, and for a moment I thought the jig was up. “Needin’ doctors to fix some head pain, ah can make ya some sweet tea that’ll fix ya right up.”    The false alarm had been silenced, and my heart stopped skipping beats. “Ah appreciate it, Granny, but ah still wanna make sure with the doctor.” “Hmph! You’ll at least have a cup before ya go. Don’t want ya becomin’ a log in the road when ya pass out!” She huffed at me, but didn’t argue about it any further. The breakfast passed without any other mentions of my exhaustion, but I could still see the concern on Apple Bloom when she eyed me from the table. I wondered then how long it would take before Big Macintosh’s youngest sister would grow suspicious enough to ask more hard hitting questions.    It was honestly surprising to me that a child as young as her hasn’t asked me a dozen direct questions about it. When Daniella was her age, I couldn’t forget how many times she would ask me the most up front questions about things she thought about. I was fifteen when a ten year old Dany came up to me and asked me about sex. A teenage boy going through puberty should never be the one to teach a young girl about that. “Hey Brother?” Apple Bloom asked before I could leave the house. I was still finishing Granny’s sweet tea when she approached me. “Can ah ask ya somethin’?”    Oh no. “Eeyup.” “Do ya have a marefriend?”    I nearly choked on my tea. Today I learned about the risks of speaking things into existence. “Uuuh… nnnope?” “Really? Cuz ah thought ah saw ya talkin’ to somepony yesterday. Some pretty mare lady with glasses!”     All the red on my face must have become pale white. Apple Bloom saw me with Dream Heart yesterday. Applejack had already gone off to check on the chickens. I was completely on my own.  “Were ya havin’ a secret meeting with yer special somepony?” Apple Bloom gave me a toothy grin, putting extra emphasis on those last two words. “…Nnnope.” “Are ya lyin?” “Nnnope.” “Are ya keepin’ it a secret from Granny an’ Big Sis?” “Nnnope.” “Oh! Oh! Is she a fem fay-tall?” “Nnnope…. Where did ya even hear that word?” I asked her. “Diamond Tiara said it once. She said she wanted ta be a fem fay-tall one day. When ah asked her, she said a fem fay-tall was a mare who hypnotized colts with their feminine power! Are ya hypnotized, Macky?” “…Nnnope.” “Are ya suuure? She even held yer face!”    Oh god, this was getting so much worse. Thank Celestia-… thank god that Granny’s hearing was so bad that she wouldn’t overhear this. “…Apple Bloom, she’s the doctor ahm visiting today. She was just… checkin’ my head out yesterday.” “…Huh?” Apple Bloom asked, “Why would she be at the farm ta do that?”    Lying wasn’t easy, this was something I had learned quickly. If I wanted to be 2 for 2 on lies today, I had to choose my next words carefully. Why would Dream Heart have visited? How could I answer in a way that doesn’t leave the mare involved stuck with the stamp, “Big Mac’s Marefriend” plastered on her by Apple Bloom… “She… uh, offered to come by and check first before makin’ me go to the hospital fer it.”    I rolled my dice, and whether it was a twenty or a one all depended on Apple Bloom’s answer… The little menace in front of me squinted her eyes and grinned. “Aaaalright~” Apple Bloom said, “Whateva ya say, Big Bro.”    I’ll call that roll a ten. Sorry, Dream Heart. I hope you aren’t in a relationship. It was thankfully enough to get Apple Bloom to stop asking questions. As much as she wanted to tease me about my “secret somepony”, the kid had school and I wasn’t about to let her skip it. I offered to walk her to school again, but she claimed to be a big mare and didn’t need him to walk with her. It was true that she didn’t, and I wasn’t about to stick around for her to ask anymore questions.    Out of Sweet Apple Acres I went and towards the Hospital once again. Hopefully nobody in town had noticed that the large farm pony was making frequent appearances at Ponyville General. It’d be another one of those things that Big Macintosh would have a hard time explaining if he gets back…    When he gets back.     Redheart confirmed for me that Dream Heart was inside, and noted my exhausted appearance. At least I think she did, but with the fatigue I was feeling it could have been my eyes playing tricks. I wasn’t at the point where I was seeing double, at the very least.    Down the hall and towards the office marked with her name. I gave it two bumps with my hoof, which came out far sturdier than I wanted them to, and waited. Granny’s tea was putting in overtime trying to keep me from falling over, and if Dream Heart didn’t answer anytime soon, it may just punch out and let me sleep right here. Horses could sleep standing up, a fact my mind repeatedly kept at the forefront of my thoughts.  “Come in,” She called from inside, just before my body decided to test out the standing slumber theory. I instead stumbled my way into the office. Where I found it slightly different from the previous times I have visited.     The window at the back wall of the office has been covered by thick blinds, darkening the room. A handful of candles placed on top of the desk and small tables around the room illuminate it enough to see Dream Heart and the newest items present. The doctor herself hasn’t changed from the last time he saw her. No noticeable differences in her appearance. The couch, however, had two new additions on it. A soft blanket and a pillow… “Oh my, Gabriel, when I said to come in tired, I hope you didn’t take that as don’t sleep at all? I should have been more clear…” “Nnnope… ah just didn’t sleep that well,” I said as the door closed behind me. The yawn building up inside of my chest was not able to be contained, and Dream Heart was subjected to Big Mac’s signature style of yawning. Namely the type of yawn that can be heard from two blocks away. Complete with a smack of the lips at the end. “Well, even if we do not do today’s planned event, you may sleep in here for as long as you need. I won’t have you trying to walk back to the farm while you are barely standing, Gabriel.”    A stubborn part of me wanted to prove that I’d be just fine walking back without any more sleep. Like I wasn’t already struggling to stay awake. As much as I wanted to attribute that impulse to Big Mac, I know that I would have said that exact same thing if somebody at work thought I couldn’t take care of myself.     Ya might as well be the alien monkey version of my brother!    …And that thought alone kept me awake long enough to ask a question. “So what exactly is this planned event, Dr. Dream?”    She gestured to the couch. That blanket and pillow looked particularly inviting… “Today, I would like to dive into your mind, Gabriel.” “So a buncha questions ‘fore a nap?” I asked while sitting down.  “Not exactly,” Dream replied, “I mean what I say quite literally. I want us to venture into your own mind, through your dreams.”     I could say it was an unexpected answer, but it really wasn’t. The fact she wanted him to be tired, the candles and the closed blinds, a pillow and a blanket? Everything was pointing to that answer. Probably most obvious was the fact that her name was Dream Heart. Pony names had an odd way of predicting a pony’s future.  “…So ah’m gonna sleep here, and yer gonna poke inside mah head?” “Not exactly, but close enough. You wish to find Big Macintosh, I can think of no better place to start searching for him than inside of his own mind.”     Why did that sound wrong inside of my own head?… Well, it is Big Mac’s head. I am just occupying it. “It ain’t gonna hurt, is it?” “It will not. You will, however, become lucid inside of your dream.”  “And is that a good thing?” “It is. With your lucidness, you will be able to control the dreamscape of your own mind. We will be able to delve into the memories you have difficulty remembering, and piece the parts together. Clues that could lead to Big Mac could be found there.” “…Ah.” I said, eyes averting from her. She noticed it quickly, and spoke up. “Does that make you uncomfortable, Gabriel? Bringing up the memories?” “No… ah mean…” I sighed, “Ah have ta admit ta somethin’ before we do this, then. Remember how ah said ah don’t remember what happened ta Big Mac before he went to sleep?” “I do, yes. You told me that you could not recall what happened to Big Macintosh that night.” Dream Heart said to him, a brow raised. Why bring that up now? “…Well, ah may have fibbed a bit.” Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck. Unable to look her in the eye. Textbook guilt. “Ah do remember, it just… ain’t a memory ah like remembering.”    There was something off about how he said that, but Dream didn’t question him about it. Instead, she placed it down as a note. “Would you be willing to recall it now?” “…Why don’t ya just see it inside of the dream? That way ah don’t have to say it out loud.” “We can, but before we do that… How have your dreams been of late, Gabriel?”    Unlike Redheart, who she had ventured into completely blind, Dream Heart wanted to know what she was getting into with Gabriel. Red was one thing with her dreams, but a stallion with two personalities could have far more chaotic and dangerous dreams. She had no will over the dream world, only the ability to visit it. If Gabriel was having dreams of dangerous things, and he believed them to be a real danger, then it would be capable of harming her. No real, physical damage, but she would feel it, and if she felt it, she would be thrown out of the dream.     Gabriel didn’t have any notable expressions appear from the question, but Dream Heart attributed that to the fatigue he felt. What she did see was how his body tensed up. Without any other clear signs, Dream didn’t know exactly what it was that he felt. Her best guess? He was uncomfortable talking about it. A lot like the Big Macintosh memory, it’s not that he couldn’t talk about it, he didn’t want to.     She was thankful then that he didn’t decide to refrain this time from speaking about it. Even if it made him uncomfortable. “Ah…” He sighed. “There’s nothin’ in mah dreams, and ah mean it. Nothing. Just a white void of empty in all directions.” “Is that perhaps because you cannot recall your dreams?” She asked. “Nnnope,” He replied quickly, a slow shake of his head following. “Ah remember them, they ain’t nothin’ but me. Me in an empty box of nothin’.”    While Dream Heart wrote down these details, a thought sprung into her head. She looked at the specific note she had taken earlier, and then gazed towards Gabriel again. “And… when you say ‘me’, do you mean…?” “…What? Ah mean me.” “As you are now, or before you came here?” “Ah don’t-“ Gabriel suddenly glowered, the meaning behind her words finally settling in. “Yeah, ah looked like Big Mac in my dream too. Ah can’t even be myself in my own mind.”    Another note was made, and no further questions were asked. Dream surmised that pressing that particular topic would not get anywhere yet. Maybe later, when the two of them have talked more. At the very least, his dream had no immediate dangers to speak of. It would at least be easier to stay in than Redheart’s. “Alright, before we go any further. I want to make sure with you. Gabriel, are you sure you wish to give me permission to join you in your dreams?”    Gabriel was about to give an immediate confirmation, but stopped just before the words came out. Clearly, her question had created second thoughts inside of the stallion’s head. This gave Dream Heart the chance to further explain. “When I enter into your dream, I will be present in a place that is personal to you and you alone. Your control over the dream will be tied to your own emotions, and emotions are a fickle thing. There is a chance that I will see or hear details about yourself that you never wished to share or reveal to others. While I am sworn never to disclose private patient information, not many ponies are comfortable allowing somepony direct access to the deepest recesses of their mind. I don’t often offer this to my other patients for this exact reason. Are you sure you wish to give me permission to do this?”    Dream Heart was giving him an out. As much as it would disappoint her to lose this opportunity, the patient’s choice was more important. Her talent with dreamwalking had become so rusty because she never used it with patients. The last time Dream had entered the mind of a patient was to help a foal get over her fear of a teenage Pinkie Pie, and that was a great many years ago. It was also the last interesting case she had taken since Gabriel. She still is given cupcakes from Pinkie to this day for helping the foal become her friend.    He took the time to consider this decision, which Dream Heart was glad to see. Gabriel has shown tendencies to care little for his own personal well being. Forsaking himself if it meant making things “better”. Seeing him truly think about what he wanted was important. If he refused right now, Dream would still be satisfied that he made his own decision not out of a suicidal selflessness, but for his own well being.  “Ah… Ah give you permission, Doc.” He said, “As long as it don’t hurt, ah guess.” “I won’t, that I can promise you.” She smiled, still happy that he wasn’t too gung ho.  “So… what do ah do?” “That is the simple part, all you need to do is sleep. I will join you soon after.” “…That, ah can do.”     Dream couldn’t stop a slight giggle from escaping her lips. Gabriel took no heed of her mirth and laid down on the makeshift bed. Both the body and pillow were too small for a stallion as large as him, but he did not seem to mind. With his body running on fumes, it only took him a minute to fall completely asleep.     Now her work could begin. Dream Heart brought herself closer to Gabriel, mere inches from his own face, and cleared her mind of all conscious and unconscious thought. She disconnected from herself, and when the connection returned her horn came alight with magic. Soon, her mind would be sent into the endless world of slumber, but just before she left reality, she placed her horn against Gabriel’s forehead.    The Dream World, in it’s endless expanse of stars, never failed to captivate Dream Heart when she first opened her eyes to it. This was the hardest moment for her to stay empty and emotionless. Its silent beauty tugged at her heart and made her want to be lost in its endless seas. Indulging that foal-like wish would only send her back to her own mind, and soon after, a bucket to promptly empty out her stomach into. It was far better for her to leave the Dream World of her own volition, instead of forcefully.    The distance between her and the nearest star was but a short distance away. Gabriel’s dreamscape, wrapped in a veil of unpierceable light. Dream didn’t know what to expect when her eyes first laid upon it. Mayhap a conjoining of two stars, merging together? Or possible a chaotic, ever changing mass. Nothing so unusual could be seen about it. By all accounts, Gabriel’s dream was just like any other. The real answers would be found within. The only way to see what lies inside would be to step into it. So her hoof reached out to Gabriel’s dream.    The beautiful starscape was gone in a flash of white, and Dream waited for the moment the world around her would clear and reveal what laid inside. The endless white never faded from her vision, she only grew accustomed to it. To describe it was impossible, since there was nothing to describe. Dream Heart found herself encapsulated in nothingness, and at the same time unbound by anything. She could go in any direction, explore without limits, but nothing would change if she did so. For there was nothing to explore.    For anything to happen, this empty world needed to be filled with… anything. A single blade of grass would create the vision of a ground. A cloud floating overhead could make a sky perceivable. Without anything, Dream Heart could not know what to do or where to go. It was fortunate then, that the endless did concede and give her one thing, or rather, one pony.     A single stallion, red in fur, a short distance away from where Dream Heart stood. His body laid down on an imperceptible ground and curled in on itself. Not in a wish to sleep, one did not need sleep. This position was kept for his own security. There was nothing in this vacuum to bring him comfort, so he sought out comfort within himself.    Dream Heart had the instinct to call out to him, but she stopped short. As soon as he became aware of her presence, he would become lucid in the dream. A lucid dreamer had control of their own dreams, and engaging with them carefully avoided any unwanted outcomes from such control. The first of which was how to address the red stallion in front of her.    Gabriel told her that he was still in the form of Big Macintosh in his own dreams, but that does not mean that the Big Macintosh in front of her is Gabriel. If his belief was correct, and Big Mac was here in their mind, then that stallion could be him right now. If she were to call the stallion by the wrong name, how would he react? She couldn’t just say Big Mac either. Gabriel was more likely to react strongly if Dream called him Big Mac, and his mind would change the dream around them to fit his current emotions.    So to avoid a dangerous outcome, Dream Heart decided a neutral introduction to begin. “Hello, can you hear me?” She asked the stallion, avoiding either name to start.    The reaction was immediate, the stallion shot up from his cradle position. Ears at attention, eyes locked on to Dream Heart. She could see the recognition he had of her, and the relief that washed over his tensed body. Time worked differently in the Dream World, and Dream did not know how long he had waited here for her to appear. Sitting in an empty void, all alone, waiting for somepony to appear.    This was all assuming it was Gabriel. If it was Big Mac, the time he had been waiting could possibly be eons. The thought left a heavy weight on Dream Heart’s chest. “…Dr. Dream?” He asked her. “Is that you? I’m not just imagining you, am I?”    No noticeable country twang. It still was Big Mac’s voice, but Gabriel already noted they had similar voices outside of the accent. This was Gabriel’s accent, not Big Macintosh. He already knew who she was as well. Did that mean Gabriel was speaking to her? She couldn’t be completely sure. “This is me, yes, I have entered your dream via a dreamwalking spell. You and I are both asleep in the waking world.” Dream was ready to continue on, but needed it clarified before they went ahead. “I want to make sure before we go forward, am I currently speaking to Gabriel?”    The stallion’s relief looked immense. He wasn’t alone in here. That simple fact alone brought him far more comfort than anything else. “Yup.”    It wasn’t an eeyup, and with that confirmation, she now knew for sure who it was. It would have been convenient to run into Big Macintosh the first moment she arrived here, but knowing Gabriel is safe and sound within his own dream was just as important. “It seems to be exactly as you described, Gabriel. I don’t see anything but you.” “…Yup, it’s the same thing every night.” “Why is that?”    Gabriel was taken aback by her statement. “What?” He asked. “The dream you perceive is influenced by your own mental state. Everything around us was made by you.”    Clearly, this idea did not sit well with Gabriel, he swiveled his head around to find anything. Only to find exactly what it was before, nothing. “Why would I want this? This isn’t how I dreamed before!” “It’s not about what you want, it is about what you feel.” Dream Heart stepped forward, and gently placed a hoof against his chest. “Your heart influences your mind more than you believe. Try to remember something happy, something that brought you joy, and your dreamscape can realize it here.”    Whether or not Gabriel did find a happy thought to wander his conscious thoughts to, Dream would not know. Even after his eyes closed and he focused inward, nothing changed in the environment around them. It was just as empty, just as much a void as it was before. When he opened his eyes again, disappointment painted his features. “It doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be that easy, Dr. Dream,” He said with a sigh. Gabriel was disappointed, but she suspected that he knew this would be the outcome. “I think it’s something to do with Big Mac. He ain’t lettin’ me see anythin’ else but this.” “You believe this is all Big Macintosh’s doing?” “Yup! It’s not like I want to be stuck like this, this is the worst thing that I coul-“ Gabriel cut himself off. “…It isn’t a very nice dream.”    What he just said made it all click together in Dream Heart’s head. Absolutely nothing to find, unable to control his dreamscape, and the worst thing that he could think of. This was an experience that she hadn’t of had in awhile, but it is far tamer than some of the ones she had to deal with when young foals came to her. “Gabriel, allow me to explain something about the Dream World,” She began, “The way your dream world is shaped is through your psyche. What you feel, what you believe, what you enjoy or hate, what makes you who you are. All of them can influence your dreams.” “So I’m right, Big Mac is influencin’ my dream.”    Dream shook her head. “While I do not have the benefit of extensive research regarding multiple personalities and their dreamscapes, I am almost certain that it is not Big Macintosh that is creating this dreamscape.” “…How can ya be sure?” Gabriel was beginning to look nervous, but Dream Heart had to explain this to him. “Dreamscapes form in three different types. A dream, a neutral or positive scape that is tied to your current psyche. A memory, a vividly remembered part of your history that is replayed for your own viewing. Or…”    He already knew what I was about to say. “A nightmare,” Gabriel replied. “Correct. I believe that this place, this void? This is your nightmare.” Her words came with no discernable surprise from him. He knew this already, he was just denying it himself. Dreamers often felt the weight of the nightmare within them when they suffered from them. The silent resignation was the only confirmation she needed.    Unfortunately, to simply erase the nightmare required a power over the Dream World that she did not possess. Maybe a fully grown alicorn would have the potential to will it away, but no such alicorn with the power to dreamwalk lived in this day and age. Or at least she has never encountered Celestia in her time dreamwalking.  “You have no control right now because the nightmare has taken you, Gabriel. There is only one way to solve this. For us to move forward, you have to face the fear that is fueling this nightmare.”    Gabriel let out an exasperated sigh. “How am I supposed to know what fear is keeping me here? What? Should I list them all out for you?” “Yes.”    Dream Heart sat on her haunches right after speaking. Gabriel was not expecting such a simple answer to his sarcastic question. “You have shared with me in the past some of the fears you have felt. Please, share it with me. Tell me what you are afraid of.”    She waited for his response.    And waited.    And waited.    Gabriel was flabbergasted at the start. As if he wasn’t the one that asked her if he wanted to list them. Dream Heart had to watch carefully to see the whirling spiral of emotions that followed. His hooves guided him to pace back and forth in front of her. He thought to himself. Nervousness furrowed his brow, but defiance pursed his lips and made him stomp the ground to no effect.     His internal conflict finally landed on a hesitant defiance, Gabriel’s eyes shot up towards Dream Heart. “How is any of this gonna help?” He said, avoiding the elephant. “The only way to get rid of a nightmare is to face the fear that fuels it.” “You said that! I just don’t get it! If it really was a nightmare, why don’t I know what fear it’s made out of?”    It was subtle, but Gabriel’s voice faltered at the end of his sentence. The slightest crack in his defenses. A hesitant answer to an unspoken question. Gabriel knows what fear it is, he is lying.  “What fear would create a place such as this, do you think? You mentioned your fear of whether or not you were real. Is this the manifestation?” “Nope.” He said matter of factly. Not a lie this time, or his shield was fortified. Dream Heart suspected the former, this topic was merely to funnel Gabriel to his true fear. “I’m… over that one. You explained it to me already.” “Yet you do not sound quite sure.” She pressed on, giving Gabriel no room to breathe this time. “I told you that you are real, do you believe that? What about your fear of the Apple family?” “I’m not afraid of them!” “Are you? You are scared they will replace the family you once had.” “Nope- that’s not-.” “Or maybe it could be the imposter fear? That you will be found out and seen as a mental case to the townsponies?” “That doesn’t-! Nope! I-“ “You are desperate to bring back Big Mac and disappear from his body, but are you actually afraid of what will happen then? What will become of you when you are destroyed like you asked me?” “Stop! That ain’t the problem!” “Then what is the problem, Gabriel?” “Ah don’t know what the problem is!” “Are you sure? You are beginning to sound like Big Macintosh.”    ‘Big Mac’ flared his nostrils in a sudden bout of anger. “Ah am not Big Mac!!” “Then where is he?” “Ah don’t know!” “Then why are you here?” “A-Ah don’t know!” “Then what are you afraid of, Gabriel?” “Ah’m afraid that he ain’t here!!”    His words echoed endlessly in the white expanse. Growing quieter as it faded into the distance. Gabriel breathed heavily, and the glare he was leveling at Dream Heart softened. These few moments he had were spent calming the beating of his heart. She waited for him to be ready to speak. He already said what she wanted him to say, now it was time to develop that. “…Ah- I’m afraid that… that we’ll do all of this searching. That we will find out what really happened to me… and learn that Big Macintosh is gone. He’ll be gone forever and never able to come back, and I’ll be…” “…His imposter for the rest of your life?” “…Eeyup.”    The bandage was ripped off, and the scar underneath could begin to fade. It was a subtle change in the world around them that told Dream Heart that they were in the right direction. Left unnoticed by Gabriel, a bit of color had appeared in the endless white. A small patch of grass, a couple feet behind him. This was it, now he had to accept it. “That is a fear I would expect you to have. With your circumstances alone, it’s completely understandable to have that feeling. Not knowing what you will find out can be terrifying, and this place? This place is both your greatest fear realized, and the wall you are placing to avoid the answer.” “…” He soon was on his haunches as well, and another grass sprout appeared. Gabriel didn’t catch this one either. “I keep… saying that Big Mac is here, that I am going to find him and fix this, but I have no idea if he is. He could be in my body for all I know, or maybe he’s just… he’s… you know what I’m going to say.”     Dream Heart nodded, erased, she thought the word that was left unspoken. “You refused to think about the idea of Big Macintosh being out of reach, is that right?” “…Yup,” He nodded his head, “I can’t accept what Big Mac has left me. This isn’t my life, this isn’t my body! Yet the longer I’m here… the easier it is to accept it, and I don’t like that. I need him to be here, I need him to take it back. Let me go, let me move on, don’t give me this chance…”    She really wished she had her notepad in the Dream World, because what he had just said was very noteworthy. “What chance, Gabriel?” “…To have a family again.”    A crack in the dreamscape shattered the white void. Falling like snow and evaporating as it landed on the new grasslands that surrounded them. Apple trees in neatly divided lines ran on either side of them, while a red barn and farmhouse stood in the distance. The nightmare was gone, and the dream took the form of what Gabriel wanted the most.    They stood in Sweet Apple Acres, and Gabriel was ashamed to see it.