Sweetie Drop’s shoulder was screaming at her to stop.
The armor had taken the brunt, but the sheer brutality of the attack and the impact with the ground had definitely dislocated the joint. The joint she was still running on. Nothing for it, Rebelle and Snakeskin were in worse shape and she didn’t lead him off they would all be bucked.
With every plodded step through the jagged tree roots and rocks, she could feel the bones grinding together mercilessly, bringing tears to her eyes.
Still she ran. Of course she did. She was a Celestia damned Huntress. She would crawl over glass if it meant keeping the mission alive. Still she couldn’t help but growl at the absolute incompetence at the situation they were now in. The agency messed up. Intel did not properly cover the creature’s capabilities, mainly his resistance to knock out magic.
Hence, a simple “tranq and take”, turning to a broken leg jog through the woods.
Bracing against a tree, she tried to regain her breath. All the while she kept her eyes and ears on a swivel. Between gasps for air she held her breath in an attempt to catch the briefest trace of pursuit.
Nothing but the breeze in her ears.
“Where’d you go, plothole?” She whispered to herself as she strained to hear over her own pounding heart. “I know your still there. Wouldn’t give up the chance for a bit of payback for that shot to the pills I gave you.” She said that last bit a bit louder in hopes of taunting him to respond. Drops couldn’t help but grin a bit at that. How confident he was standing over the others, how sure of himself, until she popped him hard right in the goods. It was almost worth seeing his eyes go pure red with rage as she took off barking with laughter.
Now here she was, crippling herself with every step, and probably hemorrhaging from the shot he got on them in the first place.
It was when she went to climb over a rotting log that she heard it. A low growl grew increasingly louder accompanied by an equally low buzzing.
Aborting the climb she dove to the side, bruising her good shoulder in the process but also missing being shiskabobbed and crushed by a giant black stinger.
Rolling back to her hooves, she readied herself in a defensive stance, guarding her more injured shoulder as she simultaneously reached into her satchel for something that might have some effect on him.
With a snarl if frustration, the beast removed his stinger from the log, and pulled himself up to his full height. It’s white and black striped hide rippling with its own bulk as it lumbered to face her.
Towering over the monster hunter on its two back paws, it extended its powerful double set of upper arms, revealing its jagged powerful claws. His teeth gritted revealing its gleaming canines.
“There you are, Hunnie Bear.” She sweetly sneered at the behemoth that was the aptly named Bug Bear.
He response to her contempt was a bellow as he lunged right at her.
————————
Even after nine surgeries to repair the damage, and the subsequent mauling thereafter, Bon Bon never could completely get rid of the sensation of bone being ground to gravel from her step.
Even as she dried the dishes and placed them in the cupboard, her shoulder would pop every now and then.
“It’s a shame Green missed supper.” Lyra said absentmindedly as her golden magical aura removed another dish from the sink before floating over a sponge to scrub it down. “Those were great carrots you made, Bonny.”
“Thanks, Lyra.” She said with a smile as she dried yet another dish. She couldn’t help but notice that this one, like a few before it, was only half heartedly washed at best. Wordlessly she simply placed them on a separate pile to rewash later.
“So,” Lyra began, with a pause one could pull a cart through. “Baltimare, eh?”
“Yeah.” Bon Bon placed the dish towel on the oven handle to air dry before turning and opening an envelope that held the train schedule. “It’s just a parole hearing. A check up really.” She waved a hoof dismissively, sticking to the cover story as nonchalantly as possible. “As his sponsor I need to be there. You understand.”
“Of course.” Lyra nodded, before pulling the plug letting the soapy water rush down with a audible gulp. “It’s really great that your doing this for him. He’s lucky to have a big sister like you looking out for him.” She added with a smile and a flank bump before cantering happily to the living room.
While the gesture was always nice, Lyra’s words caused Bon Bon to flinch. Her usually stoic mask she wore in her new civie life cracked for a moment.
From the start it never did sit right with her, having to call that thing family. It went against every fiber in her body to go along with the charade. But she had her orders, and from the top no less. Her cover had been blown. She was compromised, and this was her way back into the agency.
“Yeah.” She smiled as best one could when they were given a tough pill to swallow. “Should be back late tomorrow if not next morning.” She followed her into the living room taking a seat in her favorite chair, the one that had its back against the wall facing both the windows and door.
“There’s no need to hurry back.” Lyra interjected, from her spot on the couch. Her sincere, naïve, smile that just made this worse. “There’s a Zoo there, near Coppers Park. I played a concert there. I am sure you and Green would enjoy a nice stroll, and you could see some of the exotic animals they’ve got!”
“Hmmm,” she affirmed casually, “might be something to consider.” Not really, although she was sure he’d feel right at home with the monkeys.
When she wasn’t more forthcoming Lyra took the initiative and kept the conversation going. “I mean it; you should take Green there, the two of you can see the sights, maybe even grab a carrot dog. Bond a bit?”
Even though the trip to Baltimare was a rouse, the idea of even pretending to “bond” with that leech was right on her list of ‘Not bucking likely.’
But...appearances.
“We will see if there’s time. I don’t want to be away from the shoppe for too long.” She adjusted herself in her chair, trying to find a more comfortable spot, particularly one that could change the subject. Knowing she couldn’t rely on the furniture for that she instead aimed to steer it away from her ‘brother’. “So have you read the new Whinny Breeze novel? Lily and her sister were talking my ear off about it the other day. I was wondering if I could have a reading buddy.” She only hoped she would take the hint.
“No, I haven’t.” Lyra responded thoughtfully. “I did read this one story.”
“Yeah?” Wanting to keep up the momentum into this alternate avenue of discussion, Bon Bon sat up a little more, her ears perked.
“I don’t remember the title,” Lyra pensed with a hoof to her chin. “It’s about this mare who lives in a small town.” She began to lay out the scene, like she always did, with hoof gestures and even a voice or two of it was really funny or dramatic. “See, she actually grew up there, only to recently move back to town. Admittedly she had a rocky start, getting back into the swing of things. But, she still manages to pick up where she left off with a lot of her old friends from her foalhood.” Lyra’s expression and animated features managed to draw her in, like usual.
“Sounds good. But then what?” Bon Bon encouraged.
“Well see, this mare, she has no real family. Her mom died and she was raised by her elderly aunt, out in Vanhoofer. It was real hard on her and her friends.”
“Oh?” Bon Bon couldn’t help but think that there was something oddly familiar about this.
“So anyway, she comes back to town and opens a candy shoppe.” At this point things were starting to become blatantly obvious, and Bon Bon’s eagerness was gone, replaced by a bemused raised eyebrow. Lyra though apparently didn’t pay it any mind. “Everything is going great, then low and behold! Out of the woodwork comes news that she has a half brother!”
“Okay.” Catching up with the present, Bon Bon was ready to cut her off. “Is there a point to this?”
“Kinda.” Lyra shrugs, before looking right at her. “I am just wondering why you hate Green so much?”
She allowed a pause, perhaps a bit longer than she should have in this circumstance. “I don’t-“ she began, before, composing herself. “I don’t hate him.”
“You certainly don’t like him.” Lyra added looking disappointedly at her from across the coffee table. “Look,” her gaze softened as she looked down between them. “I know your dad walked out on you and your mom.” Her voice dropping with her golden eyes almost reverently to a subject she knew she was sensitive about, only for her eyes to rise again unflinching. “But that’s not Green’s fault.” Tilting her head she absorbed Bon Bon’s reaction as she continued. “The poor guy is trying. Can’t you see that?”
“Lyra,” Bon Bon began, taking a deep breath. It had been years but still thinking of that day; when she came home from school to find her mom crying in the kitchen. Then the years of grief that lead to sickness. Sickness that lead to…
It was a heavy slope that she hated dredging up. Even in facade, now that Green was part of that string of tragedy it probably didn’t help his chances. But he was already up against a mountain of other transgressions for his own sins.
“Lyra. I know it isn’t his fault.” She began anew, making sure to keep her story with her temper. “But, Greenhill was not in a good place. He needs to be held accountable. To work his way back up.”
“He needs, a sister.” Lyra insisted. “Somepony who has his back. Not just a caretaker and taskmaster. Have you actually spent any time with him?”
“He’s-“
“Bon Bon!” Lyra protested before another word could be spoken. “It’s not like it’s a big secret. The whole town's talking about him. The broken stallion? The pony who is more scared of his shadow than Fluttershy?”
’Fear will keep him in line. Fear will keep him controlled, keep him from hurting anypony else.’ She was aware at how bitter that sounded, how...cruel. Cruel enough that she wouldn’t dare say it aloud. But that didn’t make it untrue. This is how it was. ’But does that justify how they treated him? How I treat him?’
A mint green hoof to her own pulled her from her thoughts.
“Bonny. He messed up.” Lyra softly spoke. “But he’s your little brother and he’s hurting. Promise me you will try to be there for him. If not for his sake, then for me?”
Her look was so hopeful, so genuine. So dolefully unaware of the truth, and yet somehow Bon Bon couldn’t deny that she might have a point.
“...I’ll try.”
—————————-
After talking a bit more, thankfully about other things, Lyra had left for her own place for the evening.
In the quiet, Bon Bon stood in the den and sipped her tea. Usually, she just chewed the leaves, but she wasn’t in the jungles of the Arimaspi, nor the mosquito’d swamps of Hayseed. She was back in Ponyville. She had a favorite teapot that she could now brew them with from off of her stove. She had a bed that was more than a roll that she slung to her back, and a bathroom with hot and cold running water. She owned a candy shoppe. Yes it was small and competed with the much larger and diverse selection of Sugar Cube Corner, but it paid the bills, with enough to put some away for a rainy day, and that was even with her pension. All in all it was, a good life.
Yet, she couldn’t ignore that creeping sense of looming danger. Some days the quiet was too quiet. Night was where the creatures she used to hunt would somehow find their way back to her all the way here. Was that why she agreed to this arrangement? Allowing a Tartaurorian parolee stay with her? Was this duty or restlessness?
Looking up, she caught her reflection in the clock face. Looking back at her wasn’t Bon Bon, confectioner and upstanding citizen. Instead, it was Special Ops Agent Sweetie Drops of the now defunct Mares of Thrace Agency.
A sudden crack, brought her eyes back down. “Dammit.” Her iron grip had ruined another mug, one of her favorites too. Lyra and her went to that class and painted these at last year’s Thrifthoof festival. She would need to find the glue and repair it. Again.
But later.
The clock was growing closer to the time the train was due to arrive and she wanted the two of them on it.
The creeping sensation that Greenhill wasn’t back yet begun to weigh heavy on her mind as the minutes ticked by, conflicting in tandem with Lyra’s own words.
He was not family to her, in no way. But if her own coldness to that fact was enough to actually merit townsponies to be concerned, that was a problem. To the crown. To the continued operation of him being here.
Then there was the other matter. The itching, nagging, feeling, that he might, just might, actually want to be normal. Have friends of his own. A life.
His request to go out with those featherheads at the bar had caught her off guard. She tried to justify it with any other reason. A ploy to escape? An excuse to feed off of passed out patrons?
“Four hundred years locked away in a box makes somepony lonely.” Her own self spoken words were enough for her to realize her own fault in her logic.
Somepony.
That was something he wasn’t.
She placed the cracked cup on the counter after draining the rest of the tea down in one gulp. The still piping hot water threatened to scorch her throat, but she simply blew a steamy breath out.
With a key she stowed beneath the third drawer on the left side of the kitchen counter she unlocked her work room. A small but cluttered assortment of baking and candy making equipment greeted her, but went unheeded. Instead she pushed past them, and using the same key, unlocked the back wall panel, revealing a hidden pantry. Its contents were that of her former profession, Sweetie Drops’. Grappling hooks, disguises, special optic sunglasses, as well as some potent armaments to stun, conk, and even snuff out near anything that walks, slithers, or crawls on this earth.
‘It’s a forest op,’ She mused to herself, ‘local, but still, Everfree.’ She packed light, but packed purposely, grabbing basics, as well as a few ‘just in case’ choices in gear.
Even as she placed them in her small saddle bag, she couldn’t help but reflect on her promise to Lyra. Her promise to ‘try and be more than just a handler to Greenhill.’
‘That disguise and puppy dog eyes were gravely misleading.’ She grumbled.
Day one of her return back to active duty she had seen him in the hospital.
His gangly and alien body couldn’t have been further crammed into that corner if he tried. The bandages were still fresh on his wrists and ankles, additions that she was told would make him more ‘amicable’ to cooperate, as well as blend in. The pitiful way he looked, beguiled by the altogether starving look he gave when somepony was near enough for him to grab.
After, another thought on the matter, she decided she would grab that additional mace bomblet.
———————
The walk to the train station was uneventful. She was met by a few familiar faces, who she in turn greeted in kind.
Ponyville in the growing evening was just as always; friendly.
If her charge was causing trouble it wasn’t immediately apparent. Adding a another tally to his favor, Bon Bon supposed, as his good behavior had allowed him to no longer be chaperoned for nearly a week now. Not shadowed, starting today.
More to his credit, she found him right where he should be. On time, waiting at the station.
Whatever he was sucking on was nearly swallowed when he spotted her approaching. Rising to his hooves, he lowered his head as she came up to him.
“....I’m here.” He said softly, the scent of peppermint wafting in her direction. That could only mean Pinkie Pie.
“That you are.” She said flatly. Looking at him, she couldn’t help but admire what the eggheads in RnD came up with. He was much skinnier when they started a month ago, almost sickly, but well cooked meals, fresh air, and room to stretch was starting to fill him out. His green eyes caught her own. Despite the uncanny disguise, it did little to mask that same look in his eyes. That ravenous hunger for magic life force.
Turning away started for the booth to get the tickets they needed. Even if they only would be riding the train for a fraction of the time, a ride up and through the hills would cut down the walking time by half. Either way though it was going to be a long night.
—————————-
I watched as Bon Bon froze in place. Immediately, I begin to wonder what I’d done or if I forgot something.
She looks over her shoulder for a moment, before she canters over. I can’t help but begin to sweat a little. Trying not to make it obvious, I turn my body and attempt to hide the pocket I was holding the peppermints from Pinkie; cheeking the one I had in my mouth now.
I nearly flinch as she pulls out a bag from her saddle bags.
“We have a long night of work ahead of us.” She looks at me solidly. “You need to eat more than candy if your going to get it done.” She scolds before pushing the bag to my chest.
Taking it I look down, and I can just make out the edge of a sandwich. The heft and shift if a juice bottle is apparent as well as the scent of cooked carrots. Still warm too.
‘Did she...pack me a lunch?’ I wonder, before looking back up to find she went to buy our tickets for tonight.
You're
Also your bolding is messed up at the moment.
Worth it.
Always
It was worth it! 👍
I did enjoy it. Thank you for posting it.
puu.sh/zVW2t/c6ca3f96ae.png
Worth it.
Don't play video games.
part of your chapter is in bold :3 loving it so far though keep it up :D
from here on until
is in bold
This is solid work, keep it up.
totally worth it!
Putting Green under the care of a traumatized ex-agent who cannot see him as anything but a monster to control with fear, and definitively wouldn't be crying if something "bad" happened to him.
Is there anything else Celestia could do to make sure Green snaps?
I think the bold broke?
So totally worth the sacrifice. Moar!
Edit: Featured! The fun has been doubled! :huzzah!:
The story's really solid and intriguing. Might benefit from having an editor cast an eye over it here and there.
More please!
If Green always feel guilt all the time might keep him placid for now, but then there might come a point where he might not care anymore, and just become the monster that she thinks he is. He needs reassurance that he is doing is good that his willingness to put up with his hunger is does not go unnoticed or unappreciated, and he might just talk it from anyone around him and who know what they could seep in him mind to manipulate him to do what they want with him might as well find a sympathetic ear for him to lean on when he feels weak. I find the remark of Bon Bon that he always look at everyone with hunger very interesting, and better show how hard it is for Green to deal with his situation then before.
WORTH.
8841763
I like my print like I like my BBQ. BOLD!
8841651
Then they can justify putting him down.
8842924
I prefer ketchup.
He really does need a sister, he needs family to feel beholden to and feel beheld to in return, he needs individuals he values , he needs loved ones to protect, he needs: a stabilizing force to act as a fulcrum upon which he can lever his willpower against the alien instinct to feed.
additionally, i misread as:
8842538
Why actually help him? By now the its obvious the point of this is for him to suffer for his crime of existing. Regardless of any deliberate attempt on his part to not cause harm, his need to feed on magic to live has been deemed a crime. Ergo by living he is guilty, and must be punished mercilessly for this grave wrongdoing. Or at least that's what everything is adding up to.
To be honest I'm surprised he hasn't tried to atone for his "crime" by killing himself.
8843078
I honestly thought the same, eventually a person will break living like this. They come to the conclusion that living is hell and dieing becomes more appealing and peaceful. The only person who seems to have any real sympathy for him is lyra but not sure if she would still do so after knowing everything about him.
8843078
So if I get that you mean he was only given more more rope on his leash so that he can better hang himself with, hint he is allowed free range in the pasture in the same pasture where the livestock is, because everyone expect him to fuck up the first chance he get and give credence of everything the good doctor said that he was a danger to sociality , so that he can experiment on him some more and he is given no support, the whole thing is set up for him to fail and don'T believe there isn't anything redeeming about him. To be honest, I agree that is likely the case, but if they actually have any consideration for wellbeing of their own citizens, they have to at least have someone to confide to if only to keep tabs on his mental stability, make sure that he can trust someone that he can cry for help with and make sure that he isn't manipulated by anyone that could use him for their own ends.
Also suicide doesn't work like that, morality/guilt isn't enough to actually want to die, you have to give in to disrepair "completely" and most would do very terrible things to burn every bridges they have before actually doing the deed. Normally the will to survive is very strong, what kills it is loneliness and the total absence of hope and the desire to put an end to the mental pain of it.
this was a great chapter
8847893
you're welcome
I normally avoid [Human] tagged stories, but this one came recommended to me via PM. I must say I am intrigued by the premise and have enjoyed the story thus far. I cannot wait for more!
The plot as revealed thus far has a few things that raise warning flags in my mind though:
The use of [Adventure] and [Drama] tags. Please do not get me wrong, that does not automatically mean the story is bad or that you are a terrible writer, but I have noticed that when stories use these tags (also related: [Adventure] and [Slice of Life]), it typically ends up with the story's plot unravelling and then burning out in an ignoble fizzle instead of staying tight and focused. Reading these first few chapters, it almost feels like there are two separate stories being developed side-by-side: we have the story of Green adjusting to
lifeparole in Ponyville with Bon Bon and the story of the brewing conflict between Green and Spur.I loved the bits of Green interacting with Ponyville residents (Pinkie especially; your "voicing" of Pinkie made me laugh) . I though your portrayal of Bon Bon, the burned, angry secret agent's "sister/brother" relationship with Green, the Tartarus parolee was quite solid. I really cannot wait to see how those two operate together professionally as spec-ops and pet monster cleaning up incursions in the Everfree.
I also cannot wait to see how Lyra et al will help catalyse Green's relationship and (hopeful) befriending and the (pretty much) inevitable blow-up drama when it is revealed just what exactly Green is and is capable of doing. (I say that as if that particular drama is already a foregone conclusion; you may have entirely other plans, but if it was telegraphed over a tannoy with flashing strobes and sirens, I would still be looking forward to it after all the relationship build-up you have done thus far)
The other half with Spur, I did not care for at all. To me, personally, it felt cheaply cartoonishly over the top evil and out of place, so much so that I began to roll my eyes and skimmed though those chapters where Green and Spur were meeting. It honestly fell flat to me. I found the drama and conflict between who Green is and what Green is to be the most interesting. Spur's antagonism felt tacked on as an afterthought.
Green begging Bon Bon for a cinnamon roll from Sugarcube Corner? I felt sorry for Green there.
Spur promising to do Spur things to Green? I honestly was waiting for him to cackle about vivisecting Green and kick a puppy while twirling his moustache silent film villain style...
Maybe you as the author have a solid plan to tie everything together with a 5,000 metre bird's eye view of the whole story plot, but for this humble reader, it feels awfully...messy down here at ground level in the weeds. It feels like the plot could use tighter focus to keep from derailing and fizzing out under extra threads. I dunno...
Just my 2p
So far? Yes. Yes it has been.
8854590
My my, quite the hefty review. I am honored!
Thanks for the helpful feedback.
Without givin to much away, I will say in regards to Spur, he does play a role that is intrical to a revelation in the future.
Writing next chapter as we speak, should provide some action and bonding for Sweetie Drops and her charge.
8854615
Sounds intriguing! I am looking forward to it.
I am definitely curious to see where you take and grow Spur's character.
As an amoral pony who genuinely believes he is doing good? That certainly has interesting potential (may want to tone down the moustachioed, puppy-kicking villain shtick a bit though)
Evil mastermind with some outrageously brash plan (like, say, using Green's blood to control him and force him to overthrow Celestia et al and conquer Equestria or somesuch)? *sad, deflating balloon noises*
Cannot wait to see Green Hill vs. Tirek.
8856802
What video game did you give up?!
8859451
Fallout 4 mod replay
8859781
Just started one of those myself, Amazing story btw
8860376
Thank you!
Recently red boxed Far Cry 5
That too was a distraction.
First of all, I like this story. It's great.
But it have one flaw that lessens my enjoyment. You're pushing the buttons too obviously. Like in all the stories, where Scootaloo is orphan, cripple, abused and dies alone, in the winter, from orphan cancer, which is 20% more tragic than normal cancer. The only thing your story is missing from that genre is suicide attempt. Too obvious. I think more subtle approach will be better. Not pushing straight down and down on emotional graph, but make some ripples on the line - occasional happiness, funny moments, things like that.
I hope my comment will help instead of making you sad. I'm not some Windigo or troll to feed on unhappiness.
8880537
Not sad at all. I do tend to make things a bit more dramatic on the first go. I will try to lighten things up.
Thanks for the tip!
I gotta say, i wasn't sure about reading this story ( I'm not a big fan of human turned pony stories), but I'm glad that I did. The story is great so far, and honestly i have no complaints about anything in the story. I can't wait to see more
8907366
Also, just out of curiosity; where do the nails go when he transforms into a human? Do they become part of the arm and leg bangles, and then become separate nails and separate horseshoes again when he transforms into a pony?
(A little difficult to see the nails on the art, it looks like they were clipped on, hence my previous question.)
8907395
They are nailed into his hooves as a pony, and nailed into his wrists and shins as a human. Enough to hold on to him, but not impede movement. Ouch.
8907505
Ah. Thank you.
8907505
(Sorry for double post)
Thanks for answering my questions. Might I ask why the things sticking up from the horseshoes in the story picture don't look like nails? Surely they'd be further back and drilled into the hooves if they were nailed rather than on the outside of it. I thought the tips of the nails stuck out of the hooves after being nailed in (with the tips then being hammered off), leaving grayish dots somewhere on the middle of the hoof.
Also, do other ponies wear horseshoes nailed to their hooves in this particular reality/universe?
Sorry if I'm bothering you with this. I just like stories with horseshoes actually being nailed to the hooves.
8907526
The truth would be that the it was a detail I didn’t really focus on in the making of the picture.
But I would surmise that they are small enough not to be seen.
8907556
Okay. Again, thanks. Might I ask what the spikes sticking up from the horseshoe are?
And a F&ck you to you too, Bon Bon.
In the words of a fellow Lovecraftian,
"They held a god in their grasp and exploited it's apparant enslavement until they found it's will wrought upon them, all too late they realized their power, false, and the binds on their prisoner held naught a single restriction on its form. Know, my fellow mortals, to abuse a God in mortal coil is idiocy beyond belief, and to provoke one invites eventual calamity. Remember, my kin of flesh, a being of light accepting this form of man holds strong a will, however all things must end and along such a path only ruin lie"