When I agreed to be sent to Equestria I didn't read the fine print. I'm the wrong age, the wrong sex, and lost in the wilderness.

New Cover art commissioned from Lunar Froxy.

After dying in a predictably stupid car accident, a human wakes up paralyzed and unable to see or feel anything... which seems reasonable for the aftermath of an argument with a truck, until Celestia starts talking and he figures out that he's dreaming that he's Discord. And then the Elements set him free and he figures out no, actually, this isn't a dream. Begins right before "Keep Calm and Flutter On", and the first few chapters crib a lot of dialogue from that.

Not Displaced, but it is one of those "human wakes up in the body of an Equestrian supervillain" stories. However. Fellow Discord fans. Trust me, I'm not gonna write a story about our boy where the real thing never makes an appearance. The actual Discord will show up sooner or later. Also not a self insert, as should be obvious if you listen to the main character talk about himself for about 30 seconds.

This is a commission for The Bird, but the original story idea was mine and I take credit for everything except the impetus to actually write the damn thing.

Tags are a complete guess, I actually have no idea how to tag this thing.

It's a fact often ignored by peons, traitors and other non-entities but true royalty does not get ill.

So though it might appear that Queen Chrysalis is ill she obviously isn't.

And while it might appear that she needs looking after, she doesn't!

...but if you insist then she is wise enough to take advantage.

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A reading from the ever on-the-ball Straight To The Point Studio

Another reading from, uh, Pony & Wolf Productions, apparently. Who I'd never heard of. But good on them!

Chrysalis might be one of the most evil, vile, and dastardly villains that Equestria has ever known. She might have been responsible for nearly destroying the world more than once, she might even be a soul-sicking, shapeshifting monster, but she is still a mare.

She had never been given a genuine, honest compliment from someone that wasn't under threat or stuffed into a feeding pod or mind controlled. Today that is going to change.

Cadence really hasn't happy about the whole thing.

Artist is llamacheesecake

Even though they live on a planet completely devoid of magic, it turns out humans are naturally gifted in it. Or at least this one is. Anonymous has lived in the castle for a while now and somehow found out he can do magic. Luna offered to take him as her student and Celestia agreed, thinking it would help her sister come out of her shell a bit. Celestia regrets that decision.

At least she can't complain that things are boring.

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Story is from Celestia's POV. Tags will be added as needed.

Anthology where Anon learns a new spell every week (in universe) and does something stupid with it.

If you think of any spells you'd like Anon to learn, feel free to leave a comment or PM me.

A human living in Canterlot castle is given to Queen Chrysalis as part of peace negotiations between Equestria and the Hive. Celestia knew she shouldn't have let Luna finish the negotiations herself.

Cover art by jalm on Derpibooru.

Featured on 4/22/20. Thanks guys!

Now with audio readings by StraightToThePointStudio! Go check them out.
The Audio Reading Playlist

Hi. I’m Anon. Your run of the mill asshole. A proud one at that. When I came to this world, the princesses didn’t expect much. Then, they saw how I was good at picking up mistakes. So, they made me a functioning person in society. A mostly pony society. Ponies and other creature would be expecting to be welcomed by a warm hearted pony. Instead, they got me.

(Papers Please does not belong to me, but there isn’t a tag for it. Sex tag is for references to sex)

Cover Art by me.
Here’s the sequel. People like it for some reason.

An homage to stories like The Substitute Demon, ALL GLORY TO THE OVERGOAT!!!, and 1000 Virgin Mares, 1 Frickin' Badass Dark Overdude, Infinite Facehoofing

One thousand years ago, the Princesses Celestia and Luna were blindsided by the return of the Masters of Equus. The cult of power-mad alicorns, thought to have been banished from Equestria forever, appeared in the middle of the Princesses' battle for supremacy, and caged them away. The rest of Equestria quickly fell to their might. Even the fearsome Discord was forced to his knees before them. All of Equestria was enslaved, and an era of misery began.

Now, one thousand years later, a lone unicorn mare has learned of a creature that might be able to overthrow the Masters. A creature immune to magic, overwhelming in size and strength, sealed away for centuries uncounted. A creature of ultimate evil: the Smooze.

Unfortunately for Starlight Glimmer, in trying to ensure the creature's obedience, she modified the summoning ritual a bit too far.

Because of her meddling, the soul of a recently-deceased human is pulled from Limbo, and given life, but not exactly a body. Now he has to help her save the world, or face obliteration.

Not much of a choice, is it?

Inspired by Pen Mightier and Bucking Nonsense, the legends who – to my knowledge – popularized the "human in villain's body becomes Equestria's savior" genre. May your inkwells never run dry.

Anon decides to adopt a filly and record his experience as a Dad in a journal to do something with his life in Equestria. Except, being a father is hard work and comes at a great personal sacrifice. This is his quest to become a good father.

Rainbow Dash doesn't get hurt often, but this time it's pretty bad and the doctors are making sure that she doesn't make it any worse. Thus, she's been given the dreaded cone of shame. The doctors have also asked you to help her get around and carry on with her daily life. You're a good friend to her (and just a friend), so that should be easy, right?

Done as a commission for Flutterpriest, who likes cute things.

Art by steffy-beff, go and give their work some love.