• Member Since 8th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Bender Alpha


"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -Douglas Adams

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An homage to stories like The Substitute Demon, ALL GLORY TO THE OVERGOAT!!!, and 1000 Virgin Mares, 1 Frickin' Badass Dark Overdude, Infinite Facehoofing


One thousand years ago, the Princesses Celestia and Luna were blindsided by the return of the Masters of Equus. The cult of power-mad alicorns, thought to have been banished from Equestria forever, appeared in the middle of the Princesses' battle for supremacy, and caged them away. The rest of Equestria quickly fell to their might. Even the fearsome Discord was forced to his knees before them. All of Equestria was enslaved, and an era of misery began.

Now, one thousand years later, a lone unicorn mare has learned of a creature that might be able to overthrow the Masters. A creature immune to magic, overwhelming in size and strength, sealed away for centuries uncounted. A creature of ultimate evil: the Smooze.

Unfortunately for Starlight Glimmer, in trying to ensure the creature's obedience, she modified the summoning ritual a bit too far.

Because of her meddling, the soul of a recently-deceased human is pulled from Limbo, and given life, but not exactly a body. Now he has to help her save the world, or face obliteration.

Not much of a choice, is it?


Inspired by Pen Mightier and Bucking Nonsense, the legends who – to my knowledge – popularized the "human in villain's body becomes Equestria's savior" genre. May your inkwells never run dry.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 357 )

This looks like the beginning of a great story. I can't wait to see what happens next.

8569054
That'll be explained in a later chapter, but the short answer is a bit of both.

This...this right here..is why I read Fimfiction in the first place. You, my dude, have given me something I've been waiting for, ever since the others finished or left stories like this as is. I'm hungry for more good storytelling. Anyway, great first chapter. Only wish it was a little bit longer.

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Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy it. I'm trying to keep the chapters short so that I can release them regularly.

8569519
Short? It's fucking 4,444 words for first chapter. Well it's not as much as that one story that has one chapter but 100k words.

This version of the Smooze ends up behaving like a hentai slime tentacle monster. :rainbowwild:

Not that... I know anything about that... :scootangel:

Interesting. I'll give it a shot. And shipping the Smooze with Starlight will be a nice break from the usual Trixie x Starlight pairing.

8569633
It's a Skyrim fanfiction just so you know. The story is called "dragon things on (Skyrim SI)" and it is on fanfiction.net

None of the stories that you quote as inspiration were ever finished :applecry: This is why you're going on my tracking list but I'm not going to read it yet.

8570182
Fair enough. I can’t guarantee this one will be finished anytime soon, but I will be updating as regularly as possible.

8569706
What's that supposed to mean? :trollestia:

8570006
I can neither confirm nor deny that tentacle monster inspired shenanigans will occur. But it is a distinct possibility.

8570182
Granted, The Substitute Demon is still updating so that one isn't a complete bust.

8569140
That is probably got the idea for one of the titles and collective consciousness for "Beast of a thousand voices"

Hopefully this doesn't end up in story limbo like 2 of the stories that inspired this :applecry:

Good, we need more of this kind of stoty.
Let's see where you take it. :twilightsmile:

8569706

I don't know, I mean she was the voice of reason in the Season Seven finale...

ALGOROTH!!! ALGOROTH IRONSTONE!!!!! HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BREAKING THE EQEUSTRIAN RECORD FOR FASTEST APPROVAL RATINGS?

“I- er… well, forgive me if this seems rude, but… what’s an Eric?”

*A-hem*

The given name Eric, Erik, or Erick is derived from the Old Norse name Eiríkr (or Eríkr in Eastern Old Norse due to monophthongization). The first element, ei- is derived either from the older Proto-Norse aina(z), meaning "one, alone, unique", as in the form Æinrikr explicitly, or from aiwa(z) "everlasting, eternity". The second element -ríkr stems either from *ríks "king, ruler" (cf. Gothic reiks) or from the therefrom derived *ríkijaz "kingly, powerful, rich, prince". The name is thus usually taken to mean "sole ruler, autocrat" or "eternal ruler, ever powerful".

8573403
I third it! Be sure to not be the fourth or the Smooze with smack you!

Ohhhh well this is certainly unexpected! I am really enjoying this new direction and unique world! <3

8572922
Good Lord... Well, I don't know about fastest, but I better bust my ass making these next few chapters, that's for sure.

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I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far.

8573268
Oh dear, you've discovered the secret behind his name. Whatever shall I do? :trollestia:

8571942
True, but that never happened in this universe.

Alright, i’ll Bite. Whatcha got here...?

8573725
I know it can be tempting, but as a fellow author, don’t rush your finished product. We want a decent story, not a ME:Andromeda release. :rainbowlaugh:

I Already love it.

PLEASE DON'T ABRUPTLY CANCEL IT...
Like... all those other ones.

8573754
Oh shit, Reykan's here! Act natural!

Oh, um... hey there... you. N- nothing much, really. Certainly not trying to muscle in on your turf, no sir! Heheh. Heh. Hooooooohboy...

media.giphy.com/media/4bWWKmUnn5E4/giphy.gif

8574103
Uh, you do realize Reykan is still writing, right? Like, Substitute Demon was updated a only a month ago. You're probably thinking of Bucking Nonsense, who had to stop writing (for very legitimate reasons).

8574604
Haha! No, I never made that connection. Good one.

8574689
Ha, I find it hilarious that I get that kind of a reaction when I did the same thing to another author (I think it was redskin, the guy with a conversion bureau story). Actually, the story doesn’t look bad so far. It was a little confusing at the voices part, but it made sense in retrospect. Nothing that really jumped out at me(and by that I mean jumped out and stabbed my eyes) by way of errors, so i’ll watch it.

8574103
I don’t think he was talking about me. :trixieshiftright:

8574689
Oh, I know that. That's why I pointed it out. It's the other guy who said all of those stories were cancelled.

8574995

PLEASE DON'T ABRUPTLY CANCEL IT...
Like... all those other ones.

An homage to stories like The Substitute Demon, ALL GLORY TO THE OVERGOAT!!!, and 1000 Virgin Mares, 1 Frickin' Badass Dark Overdude, Infinite Facehoofing

Ah, one of these stories! It's been a little while, so I'll look forward to updates. Glimmy and the Smooze sounds rediculously amusing.

8574103
Ba Ba SHUSH.
...

Nothing was said... Just... shudup.... Shhhhh

Here’s a amazing idea!

He should make a scene of singing the Smooze song when facing the Masters :rainbowlaugh:

horceress

Ssh... You got me with horceress...

Let the fun begin!

So we got a human mind in the body of a gray goo type creature, this is it going to be interesting

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