Chapter 4
A good night's sleep Liam did not get. When he got back to his room Luna was sitting outside, looking impatient. Unsurprisingly, she leered at him as he approached. I should start keeping count of how many times I get glared at. Liam didn’t know if there was an official record for the most glares received in a single week, but if there was, he was well on his way to breaking it.
"Princess Luna," he said with a slight head bow.
“Human," she acknowledged. "What took you so long? Surely you and my sister weren’t talking for such a lengthy period.”
“She went to bed a few minutes after you left. She said I could stay and read in her office, so I took her up on her offer. Sorry, I didn’t realize you’d be waiting for me.”
“What else would I do, human? I am not allowed to fulfill my duties as a princess until this punishment is over with.” Luna was clearly mad about her current situation, but it didn’t show in her voice. In fact, the only way Liam could tell she wasn't serenely calm was by that glare of hers.
“I... guess you have a point. Where did Chrysalis go?”
“I believe she has retired for the night,” she said dismissively. ”What did my sister have to say?"
“She was just telling me that I didn’t have to take part in your punishment if I didn’t want to.” She looked a little surprised at that. She studied Liam for a moment, looking for signs of deceit. “What?”
“I was not expecting you to be so... forthcoming about your conversation with my sister.”
“What reason would I have to not tell you?” Instead of answering she asked her own question.
“And I assume you took her offer?”
“Nope.” She looked surprised at that too.
“Why would you refuse?” she asked.
“Weren’t you the one complaining that I did nothing but read? This gives me another way to fill out my time. Shouldn’t you be happy that I’m doing something?” Her eyes hardened further and Liam thought better of what he was saying. He was playing with fire here, and they both knew it. “Though she did kind of imply that I could back out later if I want to.”
“So you’re saying that if I get you to back out of this arrangement, I can return to my duties.”
“I... don’t think that’s how that works, princess. If you run me off, I’m sure Celestia will stick you with someone else. It’s going to happen either way.” That brought a sour taste to Luna's mouth.
“Yes, I thought that would be too convenient.” Before more could be said, she stood and started walking down the hallway.
“Come,” She commanded.
“Why? Where are we going?”
“If my sister thinks that the two of us need become friends, then we shall become friends. Come,” she commanded again.
“Princess, can’t this wait? I understand that you just woke up, but I haven’t.” She paused and turned back to look at me.
“And what, pray tell, would you suggest I do with my entire night, since I cannot get any work done?”
“I don’t know... take a day off? Relax and read a book? I can suggest a few good ones if you’re interested.” She didn’t look very amused by his suggestion.
“The sooner we finish this punishment, the sooner I can return to fulfilling my duties as a princess. Now come,” she said as she continued down the hall.
Liam glanced at his room, then at the departing princess. He sighed. He supposed one missed night of sleep wouldn’t kill him. He'd stayed up all night reading or doing homework many times in the past. Sure, it might have messed with his sleep schedule, but said sleep schedule wasn’t exactly stable to begin with. He turned from the room and followed after Luna. They walked in silence as she lead Liam through the many halls of the castle until they arrived in front of the familiar doors to the dining hall.
Right, she did just wake up. I guess it makes sense that she’d be hungry. They went inside and took seats opposite each other. It wasn’t long before one of the waiting staff came to take Luna’s order.
“What can I get for you this evening, you highness?”
“I am in the mood to try something new. Human, what would you suggest?” Oh, well, that hadn't been something Liam was expecting. What did a Princess of the Night even eat when she woke up at nine in the evening?
“This will probably sound stupid, but what kind of food do you usually eat when you get up?”
“Breakfast foods.”
“Right, good to know.” Liam thought for a moment. Celestia liked simple things, and he didn’t exactly know what breakfast food would count as fancy, so he went with something basic. “Have you ever had peanut butter toast?”
“I have not. What is it?”
“It’s... peanut butter. On toast. I... thought that was self explanatory.” Luna's glare returned with a vengeance.
“Need We remind thee that We were gone for a very, very long time?” She nearly growled, starting to slip into her old way of speaking. The waiter flinched back slightly at her tone. Seeing the reaction she’d caused in the waiter, Luna calmed herself. “I know what toast is, human. However, I have not heard of peanut butter. It was likely invented while I was... away. I have been making it a point to try foods that have come about after my banishment.”
Well, now Liam just felt like an ass. “I’m sorry, princess. I wasn’t trying to insult you. I’ll try and be more considerate in the future. I’m not great at describing flavor, but peanut butter toast is quick, cheap, and tastes good. It’s gotten me through plenty of mornings back in high school when I’d overslept.”
“Very well, I shall take the human’s suggestion.” She told the waiter.
“And to drink?” Luna looked to me again.
“Milk is good to wash it down.” The waiter nodded and wrote down the order before looking to me as well.
“And what can I get for you, sir?”
“I’ll take the same, but coffee instead of milk.”
“Would you like the coffee any particular way?”
“Caffeinated. And bring out the whole pot, please.” Liam didn’t even like coffee, but something told him he’d need it. He could already feel the sandman trying to sneak up on him, and he doubted Luna would appreciate him dozing off on her.
The waiter disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving the pair alone once again. It only took a few minutes for the food to be prepared and brought out on simple plates. As Liam happily dug in, Luna took a moment to inspect what was on her plate. She lifted a piece of toast in her magic and took a bite, clearly savoring the taste. She swallowed and took a swig of the milk she'd also received before speaking.
"This peanut butter is quite good, human. Your suggestion was not ill advised." With that she continued to eat, seemingly ignoring Liam's existence in favor of enjoying her meal. Honestly, that was probably the nicest thing she'd said to him up to that point. Knowing it would just ruin the moment, Liam said nothing and just enjoyed the almost compliment. When they'd both finished, their dishes were taken away, but Liam asked the waiter to leave the pot of coffee.
"So, what now?" he asked.
"I... am unsure. My sister wishes for me to make friends. Seeing as you are apparently good at doing just that, what would you suggest we do?"
He hummed in thought. If the goal was to make friends, they'd better go where there were people for her to befriend. That limited their options greatly just based on the fact that Luna had a nocturnal sleep schedule. Most ponies would be going to bed around now, and he highly doubted the Princess of the Night would be willing to switch to a diurnal lifestyle for this. Until Liam spoke with Celestia about his current house arrest status, leaving the castle grounds was out of the question. The only place he could think of that fit his criteria was the night guard barracks, but he didn't think they'd be comfortable having their boss, especially one like Luna, just hanging around all the time. That really didn't leave much for them to do, so Liam tried to improvise.
"Princess, do you happen to know any card games?"
Okay, admittedly it was a weak attempt, and Liam would totally blame tiredness if asked, but he really couldn't think of anything to do on such short notice. Luna's brow raised slightly.
"No. Playing cards are another invention that came about after my banishment. Though I am aware of their existence, I have no experience with them."
Liam nodded in acknowledgement, pulling the deck of cards he'd started carrying with him out of his pocket. In his near constant boredom within the castle, he'd found playing cards to be a surprisingly versatile way to kill time, whether it be by playing solitaire, practicing slight of hand tricks, or just flicking cards at fruit. He was getting especially good at that last one. In a pinch, they also made good bookmarks.
"Then perhaps you'd be interested in learning?"
Liam trudged in the direction of his room. Looking out the window revealed that the sun had risen over the horizon some time ago. He groaned in exhaustion.
The playing cards had gone over surprisingly well with Luna. She was interested enough to at least tolerate his presence for a few hours. Eventually, their limited conversation had changed to the subject of board games. Apparently, chess was an old game in both of their worlds, as Luna had played it before her banishment to the moon. Naturally, the pair found a board and played a few games, in which the night princess had destroyed Liam over and over again. He'd mentioned some of the games he used to play on Earth, and it seemed to pique her interest. At least we found some common ground, Liam thought.
He figured that if he ever got out of the castle, he could try and find a game shop in the city below. If those existed here anyway. If not, he could always just recreate some game boards with sufficiently sized sheets of paper.
Eventually, Luna decided that she'd had enough and would be retiring soon, so she dismissed Liam to do as he pleased. He was relieved that she did, because he had gone through the coffee fairly quickly. He'd been up for over twenty four hours, and to say he was running on fumes would be an understatement. He wanted nothing more than to collapse in a bed and sleep the day away. So it was with great dismay that he rounded the corner to see Queen Chrysalis waiting outside his room, looking much the same way Luna had the night before.
"And where have you been?" she asked in annoyance. "Hasn't anyling ever told you it's not smart to keep a queen waiting?"
"I was hanging out with Luna, and I wasn't aware that you'd be waiting for me."
"Well, I was." They descended into an awkward silence, just looking at each other for a few moments before Liam's sleep deprived mind came up with something to say.
"Not to be rude, but why were you waiting for me?"
"Were you not paying attention last night when Celestia was going on about my public image?"
"Yeah, invading a country will do that to a person," Liam said without thinking. And there was the glare.
Through gritted teeth, she continued. "Though I hate to admit it, she was right. If I'm going to be staying here, I will need to improve my standing in the eyes of others. Apparently you have a good reputation around the castle, so if I stay near you, my image may improve by proxy."
"So you're just going to follow me around everywhere I go?"
"Do you have an issue with that?"
"Not particularly, but following me around won't exactly be exciting."
"That is irrelevant."
"If you say so." Thinking the conversation was over, Liam tried to enter his room. Chrysalis put herself between him and the door before he could reach it.
"What do you think you're doing?" Chrysalis asked.
"I was planning on going to sleep."
"The sun just came up, and you are going to sleep? Foolishness."
"I was up all night talking to Luna."
"I do not see how that is my problem."
Instead of pushing the issue, the exhausted human moved to the next room over. Seeing what he was doing, Chrysalis placed herself between him and the door for a second time. They did this several more times before Liam sighed.
"I get that you want to follow me around, but can't we start that tomorrow? I'm running on exactly zero sleep here."
“What, pray tell, am I supposed to do while you sleep, human? The negotiations are finished and my hive won’t be here for some time.”
“Have you tried taking up reading?” Liam asked almost desperately.
“Nonsense.”
He glanced at the room he'd been trying to enter, then at the irritated matriarch before him. He sighed again.
"Fine," he said in defeat, walking back towards the dining hall. He'd need more coffee.
As he entered the dining hall, Liam's stomach decided that it wanted more than just coffee. He also didn't want to sit down and wait for someone to make food for him, as he was sure he'd start dozing if he sat still for any length of time. Instead, he continued through the hall to the side door to the kitchen. Inside, a small crew of castle staff were doing various tasks related to their work. One of the chefs spotted the human and came over.
"Can I help you, sir?"
"Yeah, do you have an open stove I could use?"
The door opened behind Liam as Chrysalis entered the room. The other occupants of the kitchen took notice immediately. They made their way out of the kitchen even quicker. One actually teleported. In mere moments Liam was once again alone with the bug queen. Even in his tired haze, he managed to find their speed impressive.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said. He looked at Chrysalis. "You certainly know how to clear a room."
Her eye twitched in annoyance. "It seems to be a talent of mine. What are we doing here?"
"I'm hungry, so I'm making something to eat."
"Aren't we all?" Chrysalis asked under her breath.
"Did you say something?"
"Nothing of importance."
He just shrugged and began rummaging around for ingredients. It was at that point that he realized he had no idea how to make coffee from scratch. With no one around to ask, he had the unfortunate thought that he'd have to go without. Maybe he could find something sugary to substitute it. It took a few minutes to find everything he needed, and one of the chefs was kind enough to already have a pan preheated for him on the stove. Chrysalis watched curiously as Liam began cooking.
"What? You act like you've never seen anyone cook before."
"Because I haven't seen anyling cook before."
"Really? Huh. I guess people are having lots of firsts today." He supposed it wasn't implausible for a queen to have never seen something like cooking. For her it was probably something that just happened in the background, out of sight and out of mind. They lapsed back into silence for a time.
Soon, the smell must have reached her, because Chrysalis began to sniff the air.
"What are you making?" she asked as he flipped the first sandwich onto a plate.
"Grilled cheese sandwiches. Here," he said as he slid the plate over the counter to her. She eyed it skeptically. "What, is something wrong with it? I figured you could eat solid food, since you ordered meat yesterday. Though, I guess you didn't end up eating it. If you don't want it, I'll eat it."
The thought of their conversation yesterday sent shivers down Chrysalis' spine. "Changelings can eat physical food, it just isn't nourishing for us."
"Can you still taste things?"
"Yes, we still have a sense of taste."
"Well, there you go," he said. "They're better with tomato soup, but they're still good on their own." He turned and began to prepare one for himself as well.
Chrysalis eyed the sandwich some more. To her, it may be as useless as a starving pony filling their stomach with dirt, but she supposed it would be nice to have a full stomach again. She lifted it in her hooves and took a bite. She'd heard that pony food tasted good from the infiltrators, but she'd never actually tried it before. Even after she'd become an infiltrator herself for the wedding, she was too focused on the objective to try the food. It hadn't mattered to her disguise that she be seen eating after she'd brainwashed the prince-to-be. Now she was regretting that she'd missed out for so long.
She let out a moan of pleasure and the sandwich was gone in mere seconds. Liam smirked at the display.
"That good, eh?"
"Make me another one," Chrysalis commanded.
"Another one?"
"Did I stutter human?"
Liam shrugged and flipped the second sandwich onto her plate, going to make a third one for himself. The second sandwich was gone even quicker than the first.
"Make me another one," she demanded.
Liam's brow raised slightly. "I'm hungry too, you know. This one's mine. I'll make you another one after that."
"Are you disobeying your queen?" Chrysalis growled.
"I'm disobeying a queen."
"I command you to make me another sandwich."
"And I will. Be patient."
Chrysalis could feel the slight frustration in that last comment, and an idea popped into her head. As Liam flipped the newest sandwich onto his own plate, Chrysalis grinned wickedly. Her horn lit up and the sandwich swiftly disappeared into her mouth. She could feel his frustration growing.
"Another," Chrysalis demanded.
Liam gave her a sidelong glance before going back to cooking. "Bite me, queenie."
The queen's grin grew even wider. It seemed that the combination of exhaustion and hunger made the human more confrontational. She could work with that. When she responded, she threw in a sultry voice for the fun of it. "That can be arranged."
Liam sighed and looked at her. "Please stop," he said. "I'm tired and I'm hungry, and I'm really not in the mood to put up with this shit right now."
Welcome to the club, Chrysalis thought, though she had no intention of stopping.
As the next sandwich hit the plate her horn lit up, then swiftly went out again as she was swatted on the nose with the spatula Liam had been using.
"None of that," he chastised.
"Did you just hit me!?" Chrysalis reached up and rubbed her now sore muzzle. He had! This creature had just struck her!
"Yup," the human said unapologetically, "and I'll do it again if you don't behave."
"I am not some child for you to lecture!"
Liam's blood was simmering. He really was not in the mood for this after being kept awake for so long. "And I'm not a servant you can just order around! Be polite, ask nicely and wait your turn, or you'll get swatted again." He picked up his sandwich and went to take a bite, spatula in the other hand just in case Chrysalis tried anything funny. She bared her sharp teeth and leered at him. He expected her to try and take the food with her magic again, but he was not prepared for her tongue to shoot out of her mouth and wrap around the sandwich. His eyes widened in surprise as it was yanked out of his hand and into her waiting mouth.
She sat there, pleased with herself. She made sure not to bite down, letting the sandwich sit there in plain view of the human. She could feel the surprise radiating from Liam and soaked it in. The taste of surprise mixed with the taste of grilled cheese in a not too pleasant way, but food was food, even if it wasn't much.
Her satisfaction only lasted a few seconds as that surprise started to shift to anger. For some reason, she started to feel like she shouldn't have done that. She'd been trying to get a reaction like this out of him, so why did she feel like she'd made a mistake? Then she remembered the first time they'd met, the pain of hardcover book meeting face. Then there was their conversation from the day before. This creature had not only admitted to eating other sapient creatures, he'd already rendered her unconscious once. As Liam raised the spatula, Chrysalis swallowed nervously.
She'd fucked up.
Celestia sat in the dining hall. She'd been there for a few minutes already, and no waiter had come out to take her order. She was starting to get worried that something was wrong when the door to the kitchen violently burst open. Celestia was dumbfounded to see Chrysalis shoot out of the kitchen, a sandwich hanging out of her mouth, with Liam hot on her heels. His long legs letting him keep pace with the changeling, he lifted what looked like a spatula in his hand and swiftly brought it down on the queen's backside. She yelped in pain. He brought it up again, but before Liam could hit her, Chrysalis ran out into the hallway and out of Celestia's view. That didn't stop the next three yelps from reaching her ears though.
Liam stumbled as he headed towards his room for the third time since he'd been awake. Who knew that chasing thieving bug queens through the palace halls could be so tiring? In the end, he'd lost her and he didn't get to eat any of the food he'd made. On the bright side, by the time he'd returned to the dining hall, so had the chefs. He also had enough adrenaline coursing through his system to keep him awake while he waited for them to prepare breakfast for him. He'd even got his coffee.
Chrysalis eventually made her way back to him, sans sandwich and tail tucked. Any time they'd make eye contact, she would look away. Good, he'd thought. Maybe that'll teach her to have some manners. She was clearly fuming over what had happened, but said nothing as she followed him to find something to do. They'd come across some maids cleaning more of the spare rooms. All of them seemed nervous about Chrysalis' presence, but they continued their work with Liam's help.
While he worked Chrysalis had hopped onto the bed and settled in for a nap. Liam wasn't having that. If he wasn't allowed to sleep, neither was she. He'd suggested that she help as well, but she'd said something along the lines of "This is drone work." He promptly reminded her that he still had the spatula from earlier. She didn't have to help, but she wasn't just going to sleep the whole time. The rest of the day had consisted of Liam doing various things around the castle as Chrysalis watched in boredom.
Back in the present, Liam was finally approaching his destination. As he got closer, a feeling of dread began to overtake him. Heeding his sense of self preservation, Liam peaked around the corner to find Luna sitting outside his room once again. His brain promptly said 'fuck that' and he turned to go somewhere no one would bother him, regardless of the consequences. There was no way in hell he could stand to be awake another twelve hours. A tired smile graced his face as he entered the library. The librarian was nowhere in sight, but he knew she wouldn't mind him being there.
Liam traversed the labyrinthine shelves until he came across his favorite reading nook. It wasn't the best place to sleep, but it would have to do.
IT'S ALIVE!
It's been nearly a year and I'm sorry it took so long for this to come out. This chapter has been fighting me for weeks. To prevent a hiatus like this from happening again and to give myself a goal to work toward, I'm going to try to write and release a chapter every month. Yeah, this didn't happen...
I went back and edited all the older chapters, getting rid of a few small things, fixing spelling errors, and adding a bit of flavor text to some scenes. The story will also now be told in third person instead of first person. Thank you for your support and hopefully you're not too angry at my absence with this story.
P.S. @MoonWoah, it's out. You can stop sending me this image on discord now. 
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Surely that's as good as breakfast.
Huzzah!
All praise the sacred spatula, smiter of backsides!
... and in the end Liam teaches Drones to discipline a 'bad' Queen via correctional use of The Spatula. It becomes tradition that all new Queens will feel its Sting lest they become Bad.
Very nice, glad to see your well.
Thanks for the update.
Jesus, 36 straight hours of bouncing from ruler to ruler, two of which are very antagonistic. At least Luna likes games
Clearly the solution is to climb into bed and get some sleep anyway.
the chefs looking at the spatulas in the kitchen
We had the ultimate changeling defense all along and never knew
Yay!!! Made my day!
Liam, wooer of angry mares
Dozing
Finally... The time has come!
pick
10827892
It's actually "pique", not Peak or Pick.
10827908
You are right.
10827892
*Pique
Hmm... been a long while since I left one of these in a story...
Let me start by saying I absolutely loved the first chapter! It was well executed, and hilarious! As a reader, I can appreciate the act of using a book as a weapon... in essence it is just a branch cut into many pieces...
As I read on, I wasnt disappointed in the slightest at the stories development, and I will say i will be adding this to my favorites list... and I find myself not adding to it too often these days anymore. The only thing I have to offer in the way of feedback, is the fact you switch between 1st and 3rd perspectives, and sometimes in the same sentence. That isn't too much of an issue, but it does affect the 'view' of the story enough to be disruptive.
You do fine in either perspective, but switching between the two multiple times in a single paragraph is a bad habit to fall into.
I wont do so without a prompt, but if you want me to toss some ideas your way, just respond here or DM me. I know at times I wish people had done the same for me!
I look forward to the next chapter!
Good chapter, and it's good to see you back
I love how you are writing Chrysalis. Most people write her as either a miss-understood mom, or a total monster. Here she is a royal brat who has always gotten her way until now.
I love the kitchen scene with her being hit with the spatula.
Yay, new chapter!
Anyling... thought that was a typo at first, but then i was like duh! i see what ya did there. Nice 😃
It lives!
@MoonWoah, please immediately start spamming setablaze53 with memes asking for chapter 5
10827702
I thought about it. I really did.
10827723
Truly a weapon to surpass metalgear.
10827846 10827908 10827942
Noted and fixed.
10828102
Thanks, it's good to be back.
10828000
I'm happy to hear that you like it. I'm extremely proud of the first chapter, and I endeavored to touch it as little as possible when I converted the previous chapters to third person. The conversion is the reason for me switching between first and third person in the same paragraph. I probably missed a few instances of first person language. If you see any of those, point them out so I can squash them without mercy.
I would also love to hear your ideas, or anyone's for that matter. If I like them, I'd have no problem using them in the story. DM me with your thoughts.
10828307
He already has. Example below.
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/732780634812055643/845735623448985650/thumb_122676350_385456542625068_1723394644773588459_n-52458787072.png
10828337
Fixed the two you found, and even one in the 4th chapter. I seem to have a knack for missing that particular word...
10828334
Absolute madlad
It usually ends like that:
So fucking awesome! Woohoo!
Woot
10828307
Absolutely loving the story so far, I'll definitely be putting this on my favorites list to await updates.
YES IT LIVES!
Great chapter
Alondro throws a bunch of coffee beans into the air and smashes them to bits with his mighty fists of the North Star. The beans quiver in agony for a few moments before bursting to grounds. Then, Alondro glares at water in a pot until it boils. He then forms a soul-stealing spell circle and YANKS the very essence of the coffee grounds out of their physical form and infuses it into the scalding water!
"There we go! Anime coffee!"
Before I even read I must comment on the authors note. Both because this is great news and because the meme made me laugh extensively
10830523
Fixed
It seems both Luna and Chrysalis have missed the entire point of things, nor do they seem to have any intention of actually doing so. Rather than making amends they seem to view him as a servant to be ordered around. They really ARE trying their darndest to mske themselves seem bad aren't they?
Need to get him a spray bottle of water and a rolled up paper. The proper tools can do wonders for those too stubborn to listen or compromise.
10831842 10831966
What mistakes? I don't know what you're talking about.
In all seriousness though, thanks for pointing those out. It's kind of embarrassing that I missed so many. I suppose that's what i get for doing most of the conversion at like 2 am.
10827702
Chrissy Cuddle Bug
Spatula-fu.
<Celestia> I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know.
The part with Luna is ok, a good read but the one with Chrysalis... It's glorious, I love how you portrayed her from the beginning. Thank you for the chapter
Time to SWAT that bug!
This is good so far can't wait for more
Great update!
Amazing