Adopting Fluttershy

by Flutterpriest

Days 17 Evening - 21

Day 17 – Monday Evening

Well, Journal. It looks like my hand is forced. A note from Cherilee came home with Fluttershy today. It said that she would like to talk. Nothing ever goes well when people say they want to talk. Now what do I do?

I've spent all evening holding the note while watching Fluttershy play with Angel. I swear that bunny hates me. I can't prove it, but I think he makes faces at me when I'm not looking. I asked Fluttershy if there was anything really weird happening at school today, hoping maybe I could get some sort of idea if Cherilee has been treating her differently. She acted like it was just another day. In that respect, I have to admire the mare. She's keeping work and personal life separate.

Cherilee has an appointment on Friday, so I suppose I will just talk to her then. I suppose my situation could be a lot worse. In the mean time, I'll just focus my attention on Fluttershy.

When I tucked her in, she looked up at me and promised that she would actually go to sleep. I didn't even think that she would consider going back to play with the animals. It's got me worried that maybe I'm being too lenient. Here's the real thing that's eating at my mind, Journal. Should I just focus on being a good father right now, rather than trying to find somepony to share my life with?

I mean, if I mess up raising this mare, that's entirely my fault. I don't know if I could sleep well at night knowing that Fluttershy ended up becoming a bad egg.

…

What am I even thinking? The innocent little girl that plays pretend tea parties with her pet bunny for fun? The young mare that sometimes still wants me to read to her? The tiny filly that calls me Daddy. She's an angel, through and through. How could she become a bad egg?

…

I've got plenty to think about. Night, Journal.

---

Day 18 – Tuesday Morning

Morning, Journal. I just woke up about 15 minutes ago. I had the worst dream. In the dream, I woke up one morning and Fluttershy was just... gone. What happened was I went into her room and she wasn't in bed. I paniced and called all of the help I could get. All of her animal friends were looking for her. She wasn't at school. The police couldn't get a dime on her. I woke up in a cold sweat and sprinted to her room.

I've never been more relieved to see that she was there.

Then, after I saw her sleeping peacefully, I just sat at her bedside and watched her for a little bit. She gently woke up and asked if it was time for breakfast, but I let her go back to sleep. With a drowsy "Nighty-night" she went back to sleep for another hour or two. There's no way I'm falling back asleep now. I think that was all of the convincing I needed, Journal. This was a sign, it has to be. If anything happened to this little filly, I couldn't forgive myself. She has to come first.

Even if it means sacrificing something I might want in order to make sure she comes first.

Maybe when she's older I can look at dating a mare. Cherilee.

Now I gotta figure out a way to tell her. I'm going to spend more time focusing on Fluttershy now. I mean, it's what any father would do, right? I sure hope so.

I wish there was another single father in town, but it appears that I'm a unique case in Ponyville. It could be worse, but I could sure use some advice from time to time. Maybe I should talk to my neighbor about my situation and see if she has any good advice. I also need to think about getting Fluttershy out for some flying lessons. I heard about a flight academy that I can send her to, but I don't think I have even the least number of bits to get her into that college.

Maybe if I just scrimp and save, then I can get her into it. How could flying be something I forgot about when choosing a filly. I suppose with magic I could have just gotten a few books. There isn't really a point of dwelling on it now.

Now I gotta figure out what I'm going to do with Cherilee. Maybe there is some way I can let her down easily. Hopefully she will understand.

---

Day 18 – Tuesday Evening

I think I need to do something soon. I asked again how things were going at school and she mentioned that Cherilee has been acting sad lately. She kept asking her if I saw her note, which she kept replying yes.

Shy asked if I was what was making Cherilee sad. I wasn't sure how to reply. The best I could do was simply reply that I hope I wasn't. You and I both know the reality, Journal.

She didn't bring anything up after that because Angel wanted to play with her outside. I watched her play for awhile and I watched the squirrels slowly creep out of the forest, wanting to play, but not sure if they should get close when I'm around. I waved them on in to play in the yard with her. I mean, it's just a few squirrels, right?

It's only a matter of time until she discovers how gifted she is. Maybe the more she is surrounded by the animals, the more of a chance she has to realize it. The bunny seemed to give me a slight nod after I did that. Maybe we have a temporary peace treaty now. Or the bunny is just managing his hatred.

I swear, I ran out of carrots again and I have no idea where they are going. It's gotta be him. I'm going to try and wake up early and write Cherilee a letter, saying we should talk on Friday. Looking over the situation with a clear head, I think the answer is clear now. I've decided that this is also better for my job, that way I don't get fired. I'm still unsure if I should come clean to my boss about the date.

A part of me is too concerned.

It took me forever to find a decent job in Ponyville that could pay my bills. Now that I have one, I really don't want to lose it. Especially since she's counting on me now. Anyway, I'm heading to bed.

Goodnight, Journal.

---

Hi Daddy's diary. This is Fluttershy again. Can you tell Daddy to make Cherilee happy again? It would make me very happy. I think the other kids at school are mad at me because of it. I'm not sure if they like me very much, but maybe if Cherilee is happy they will like me more. Thank you very much.

P.S. I've been practicing my spelling. Has it got better? Nighty-night.

---

Day 19 – Wednesday Morning

When I woke up to my bedroom door open, I panicked. But then I opened you, Journal, in order to write my morning entry and now I have more concerns. Fluttershy never said anything about kids at school not liking her?

What's happening? Is it her shyness coming though? Maybe if they just gave her time, then things will pan out. Actually. I got an idea.

What if I gave Fluttershy a diary of her own? Then, maybe I can sneak a peak at it every now and then and see what's really going on in her head. Is that underhanded? I might want to consult a book. If I ever got caught reading from it, it would severely hurt her trust in me. I think I'll just make sure that everything's okay and insure that if anything is wrong at school or outside of school, she can talk to me about it.

Yeah! Papa bear to the rescue. Not the other bear. Although, I probably couldn't take that other bear in a fight.

…

I hope this filly doesn't get rebellious in her teen years. If she gets mad and sends a bear at something... Yeesh. I don't even want to think about that.

I can't afford to think of those silly things anyway. Now I'm more worried that Fluttershy is getting bullied. Nothing indicates it, but if the other kids don't like her... Well, knowing kids on Earth, it'll just be a matter of time. They will try to find any reason to set her apart from the rest of the group. Children are vicious creatures, whether they are ponies or human.

At this point, I'm not sure what I should do as a parent. Do I intervene and find ways for the other children to like her? Or, would it be better for me to have her learn for herself how to deal with these sort of things to prepare her for the cruel world? Honestly, I'm not sure.

Maybe I should just play it by ear and intervene only if it becomes too serious. Until then, I just have to believe that she will come to me if she has any problems at school. Or ask probing questions. I'll keep you updated on that, Journal.

However, I think I need to write a letter to Cherilee, saying we should talk on Friday. So, I'm going to go do that since I woke up early. I think short and sweet might be better in this case. I can just explain to her everything that's been on my mind and say I realized a relationship might not be the best option for me right now. Hopefully this goes well.

See ya, Journal. Wish me luck.

---

A Letter from Anon to Cherilee

Cherilee,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get in touch with you since the way I acted on Saturday. My head wasn't in the right place and I acted harshly to you. I want to talk to you on Friday after your appointment. Is that okay?

Thanks, Anon.

---

Day 19 – Wednesday Evening

I think the letter worked, Journal. Fluttershy came home today and seemed to be smiling more than usual. I asked her if Cherilee liked the note and she violently nodded. Apparently it made her "More skippy." As in, skipping around the room.

Where this girl comes up with her vocabulary, I will never know. But the day she stops using the word "hoovsies" I'm going to be very sad.

Now all I have to do is think about how I'm going to break to her that I can't see her anymore. The fact that she's so happy that we are going to talk about it makes me worry that she won't take it very well. But, I suppose there isn't a lot I can do about that right now... I asked Fluttershy how her day at school was and she mentioned that there was going to be some new arts and crafts project that they were going to begin.

With the amount she talks about that, it's really apparent that it's her favorite subject. She said they were going to be doing painting and she wanted to paint me, her and angel at the lake with the fishies. I'm excited to see the result, but it wasn't really what I wanted to hear this time. The thought dawned on me at work. She never talks about her friends at school. So, that's what I asked.\

"Did you do anything fun with your friends at school."

She stopped mid bite and just stared into her salad. Shy didn't even say anything. I just felt helpless and instantly felt bad for bringing it up. I stood up and sat beside her at the dinner and asked her if everything was alright. She looked up with the most innocent eyes and muttered out with a cracking voice 'Why don't the fillies at school like me?'

I asked why she thought that. Her words were 'They never invite me to play with them. I think they call me names behind my back or make fun of me when I'm not looking at them. I try to be nice, but they don't want to talk to me...' I gently stroked her mane as she talked about how she just watched everypony else play as she sat on a swing and watched.

I asked if there was anypony at school that was nice to her and she only really came up with Cherilee. Maybe they don't like her because she's a bit of a teacher's pet. As I sat there and listened to her vent about how much she wanted to be friends with the fillies at school, I was trying to think of any possible way that I could help her, but I realized that I really couldn't even if I wanted to.

If Daddy came in and told the fillies to play nice, that could reflect even more poorly on her. If Daddy talked to the parents of the fillies, then that could get the children in trouble and reflect even worse. Or, then the parents could hate me. That could get even worse. Which then leaves...

Cherilee. It always seems to funnel back down to her.

If Cherilee indirectly helped by connecting Fluttershy with a few of the other fillies in class, maybe it can all fall back into place. Which means, I will have to handle the situation like an adult and ensure that she is okay with my decision.

Fuck, Journal. Maybe I should just keep up appearances for awhile. Through what Flutter has told me, it seems that Cherilee is still interested. I dunno.

Maybe it would be best if I just laid the situation out in front of her and we talked about it together. I have no clue. Maybe I should just sleep on it. I can't think when I feel this tired.

Night.

---

Day 20 – Thursday Morning

Morning, Journal. Shy just left for school. We had a little bit of a debate this morning, but I think it worked out in the end. She really, really wanted to take Angel to school with her. I was firm and told her she couldn't.

She argued that she didn't want to play all alone at recess anymore. After thinking over it through breakfast, I decided the best way to handle the situation was to remain resolute. If I let her take the bunny to school, then she wouldn't try to make friends there. Or, maybe worse, get distracted during class. I asked her to do her best to try and make a friend today. She sullenly agreed and left for school.

The rabbit just looked at me dirtily after she left. I just looked at him and asked him what he would do, sarcastically. Then I realized he couldn't understand me. Fluttershy talking to him around the house is beginning to make me talk to animals too.

The difference is that I can't understand them. They probably don't understand me either. Whatever. The bunny just wants her to be happy. I'm sure that she talks to him about her troubles at school. I'm more worried why she doesn't come to me with them.

However, this rabbit is beginning to grate on my nerves. I keep finding him stashing carrots in Fluttershy's room. Then, when I give them to him and point it out, he refuses to eat them and I have to throw them away. I've watched him take carrots from the fridge without thinking I'm watching. I'm onto him.

Anyway, today at work I need to figure out the conversation I'm going to have with Cherilee about everything that Shy and I are going through. I'll let you know what I figure out.

See ya, Journal.

---

Day 20 – Thursday Evening

It's been a long day, Journal. I'm just happy to be home. I spent all day thinking about Fluttershy and her friend problem. The only thing I could come up with for the conversation was that I thought I should ask about Fluttershy in school first before I asked about our relationship. Then, at the same time, she might take that as beating around the bush.

On the other hand, if she asks why we aren't talking about it as I work with her, I could stress that we can't talk about those things at work. That should handle that conversation. However, I think it would be important to reiterate that it's not that I don't have feelings for her, but that I need to do the right thing as a parent. Outside of that... all I can do is hope that she takes it well.

During dinner, I asked Shy about her attempt to make a friend today. Once again, she got quiet. Instantly, I was terrified. I asked her what happened and she looked up at me, extremely worried. After assuring her that she can tell me absolutely anything that's wrong, she muttered that she didn't do anything today. I asked her why and all she could say was that she froze up and was too scared. She didn't know what to say to the girls.

I asked her what she would like someone to say to her if they wanted to be her friend and she thought to herself a little bit. She answered that she didn't really know, maybe the filly would ask if Shy wanted to play with her. I then tried to instill the value of 'Treat others as you would like to be treated'.

I lead her into thinking that if she asked other fillies if they wanted to play with her, she might be surprised at the result. I'm not expecting change overnight, but I asked her to just try and do her best tomorrow. Shy pouted and said that it was scary, but I wouldn't have any if, and's or but's. It's so hard to tell a child 'No', but I think I'm beginning to get used to it.

All of this is in her best interest.

I watched her and Angel play tonight and I just tried to relax in the face of everything I have to face tomorrow. I'm also beginning to think of what Shy and I do this weekend. Maybe go swimming again? That could be fun. The more she works on it, the better she will get.

…

I'm just distracting myself at this point. I'm so nervous about the talk. Shit. There's no point in staying awake worrying about it. I'm going to need some sleep for tomorrow. That is, if I can get to sleep. Night, Journal.

---

Day 21 – Friday Morning

Morning, Journal.

I don't know what to say that I haven't already said. I told Fluttershy that I'll be a little late getting home. Fluttershy scuttled off to school and said she would try to do better today at making a friend. I have to go to work and stress all day about the conversation with Cherilee.

I might as well just go and get it over with. Maybe if I keep thinking that enough, I'll believe it. See ya, Journal.

---

Day 21 – Friday Evening

How can I even begin this entry, Journal? I'm not even sure how I feel right now. Some mixture between disappointed, sad, and relieved, I suppose. I suppose I should just start at the beginning.

It was just another day at work for everyone else, but I went into my masseuse room and just took care of the clients as they came in. I guess I was pretty much just watching the clock the whole time and my mind wasn't in it, cause I got some pretty lousy tips. I suppose the tips were the least of my concerns though. When the clock hit the end of the school day, my muscles were in a constant state of tenseness, knowing she would be here as soon as she could.

It was only a half-hour of pacing later that she arrived in my room with a wide smile. She closed the door behind her and gave me a wide smile that filled me with guilt. After exchanging a greeting, I got right to work. Her muscles were extremely tensed as I massaged her and we weren't very talkative at first. I think after a long silence, I asked her how her day was.

She began to talk about what she did with the students that day, how the kids are working on new paintings. I realized I had no idea how to handle entering the conversation of if Fluttershy is being bullied. So, I tried to ease in by asking what Fluttershy was doing for a painting. Cherilee said that Shy was trying to keep it a surprise, so was working all alone with it. I suppose my involuntary sigh tipped her off, cause she read directly through my disguise.

She immediately asked if I was worried Fluttershy wasn't making friends. I explained my concerns and told her what Shy told me concerning the other fillies. None of it seemed to really phase Cherilee.

“These sort of things always seem to happen. I haven't figured out a perfect way to have all of the children play nice in the schoolyard. Some will just naturally like or dislike others for almost no reason at all.”

That was extremely disheartening to hear. So, I asked if there was anything I could do, at all, to help Shy make friends. Cherilee laid in silence as I massaged her lower back.

"I mean, I'm already doing my best to be supportive. I'm challenging her to try and talk to some of the other fillies that are at school, but I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who is in her class and I wouldn't know where to start looking."

She laid on the table, still contemplative. Cherilee mentioned that there was a really nice filly in her class that she might get along with. The filly had the qualities of being a leader and was very outspoken at times. Based on how she's studied other children form friends, she thought they might make a good pair. Some filly from the Apple family?

I've never heard of the Apples before. Once she mentioned that she was the granddaughter of the mare that ran the Apple cart in the market, it all began to make sense. I asked why the parents didn't run the cart and got back an answer that changed my whole perspective.

The filly's parents never came back after trying to take a shipment to another town. They said that bandits were involved and the filly was too young to remember. The older brother stallion still has some trouble coping though. Between the older brother and the grandmother, they do their best to run the farm.

I asked if there was any way that she could group them together in group projects. Or just, something. Cherilee nodded and said she would do her best. That was one problem down.

Then we were in the room, still talking about my daughter and not how I blew her off that night. I suppose that I should have changed the subject or something... but it was like I began to just spew out all of my insecurities regarding being a father. Once I was done with the massage, Cherilee looked up at me and asked what it was I wanted to talk about. My words got caught in my throat and I struggled for what to say.

I ended up with: "Cherilee, I really like you. Sincerely. However, I'm really worried. I don't know how us seeing each other could affect Fluttershy. I'm stuck in the middle of doing what I want and doing what might be best for my daughter."

I paused, grabbed her hoof and then pushed on, her body trembling. "I don't think it would be right of me to adopt a filly and then neglect her because I found a mare I liked. I need to do the responsible thing and put her first. Which means, I can't see you. To make it worse, I could get fired if I began to see some of my clients romantically outside of work. I just... I can't see you anymore."

Cherilee looked back at me with tears in her eyes and shook her head. She swore she could keep us secret. She swore that the students wouldn't have to know. My inner resolve was trembling as I tried to be strong for Fluttershy. Here I was, with a mare I actually liked. A mare that I seemed to really connect with and I was shoving her away. I just tried to be strong as I affirmed to her that I couldn't keep doing this and putting my and daughter's lifestyle at stake.

She just cried and I wanted to hold her so badly, but I knew I couldn't. I sincerely wanted to still be friends with her and made sure that she knew. If anything, we would have to for Shy. But, it would have to stay there. She just stared at the floor, tears dripping down her face. Silently, she stood up and walked out of my room and left the door open behind her.

I just sat down in a chair and ran my fingers through my hair, stewing and hating myself. Just because it had to be done, didn't make it any less painful. After about ten minutes, one of my coworkers came in and asked if I was ready to lock up. I told her that I would do it and that I still had some papers I wanted to finish. She looked at me curiously, but said alright and left me to close up the shop. Once I was fully composed, or at least as composed as I could be, I left and locked the doors behind me.

For the first time, I was a little upset that I got rid of all my cider and beer before I adopted a filly. I coulda definitely have used one. Once I got home, I saw Fluttershy playing on the floor of the living room with Angel. I just sat down in my chair and watched her for awhile, thinking over my decisions. She looked up at me with the widest smile and asked how Daddy's day was.

Then, the warmth and pride swelled in my chest. That's the feeling that I sacrificed for. To know that I will be the best dad I can be. I stood up and sat by them on the floor and told them that it just got a lot better. I let Fluttershy choose what we ate for dinner. Her eyes lit up when she asked if I meant anything. So, we ended up going to get some pizza. I even let Angel come along.

When we got home, we read together and she fell asleep in my lap. I tucked her into bed and set the sleeping bunny next to her on the other pillow. He woke up once I set him down. He looked up at me with his judgmental gaze and I met his with a smile. I told him, "I'm just trying to be the best Dad possible, Angel. Will you help me try to make her happy?"

The bunny looked at me for awhile and I realized I was expecting the bunny to understand me. But then the weirdest thing happened. He nodded, then went back to sleep. Maybe he didn't understand my words, but maybe he's starting to understand through my actions. So now I'm here, talking to you, Journal.

I'm honestly not sure how I feel right now. There's a dull pain for doing what I had to do and I know I did it because I had to, but it's not what I wanted to do. At the same time, I'm happy that it's over and done with. So, I guess I just feel numb. And maybe a little bit down. I'm hiding you in a new spot so that Shy doesn't get into my journal again.

… Journal, thank you for listening to me. I'm happy I can have someone to turn to when something on my mind. I just wish you could talk back sometimes. …

Look at me, I'm pathetic. I better just get some rest. Everything seems brighter in the morning, and tomorrow Fluttershy and I are going to go swimming. That should pick up my spirits.

Comments

[Zugthule]

I really like this story always have being a father myself I know where hes coming from sometimes you have to put yourself second and your daughter first ....sometimes it means forgetting your own wants in life....but at the end of the day just to see your kid smile is enough

[Epic Brony 4 Life]

Man, this story always hits me right in the feels.

[WorldWalker128]

Now Cheerilee is Sad-ilee. I get why he did it, but poor girl.

[Peacekeeper]

damn poor cheerilee i think it could have worked out between them

however i am hopeful Fluttershy will become fast friend with Applejack and that problem at school is resolved. really love this story and all the emotions anon has to go through as a father.

[Royal Radiance]

I have the perfect idea that could have prevented this, while he still has his job, he should try to look for others and secure one before quitting.

[tgb089]

Nooo, Cheerilee!
Will there be a good ending?